Cover Letter Help

antbanks81

antbanks81

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Input please NT fam...its for an office services assistant position. This would get me out of the field as a salesman.

Oh, this was the requirement listed in the posting

· Letter of interest highlighting factors that you believe make you an ideal candidate.



I am writing you to formally declare my interest in the Office Services Assistant position. When I finished reading the posting, I felt that I met every requirement for a successful tenure. My background is in sales, marketing and customer service. My feeling is that my experiences on sales teams will aid me in providing stellar support to the Assist Retirement Fund staff. I also believe that my customer service acumen will lead to great interactions with Fund members.

I feel that I can add value to your staff in many ways. My employers and peers have always complimented me on my analytical skill and creativity. It is my belief that I can use these traits to perform the tasks associated with this position at a high level and find methods to increase efficiency. Also, the math skills required for the position will not be an issue for me. I love working with numbers as much as I love working with people.

To close, my experiences along the way have shaped me into a hard-working, organized and confident individual. Success can be defined may ways, but I choose to define it as doing my job well. It is my desire to show you and the staff that I can excel in this position. I am excited to have the opportunity to speak with you more about the position. Thank you for taking the time to review my record of employment and educational experiences.
 
Input please NT fam...its for an office services assistant position. This would get me out of the field as a salesman.

Oh, this was the requirement listed in the posting

· Letter of interest highlighting factors that you believe make you an ideal candidate.



I am writing you to formally declare my interest in the Office Services Assistant position. When I finished reading the posting, I felt that I met every requirement for a successful tenure. My background is in sales, marketing and customer service. My feeling is that my experiences on sales teams will aid me in providing stellar support to the Assist Retirement Fund staff. I also believe that my customer service acumen will lead to great interactions with Fund members.

I feel that I can add value to your staff in many ways. My employers and peers have always complimented me on my analytical skill and creativity. It is my belief that I can use these traits to perform the tasks associated with this position at a high level and find methods to increase efficiency. Also, the math skills required for the position will not be an issue for me. I love working with numbers as much as I love working with people.

To close, my experiences along the way have shaped me into a hard-working, organized and confident individual. Success can be defined may ways, but I choose to define it as doing my job well. It is my desire to show you and the staff that I can excel in this position. I am excited to have the opportunity to speak with you more about the position. Thank you for taking the time to review my record of employment and educational experiences.
 
Excellent letter except a few things. Just IMO. Take it for what its worth.

1) I would remove the "you" and use "I am writing to formally..."

2) This sentence sounds awkward to me...
"When I finished reading the posting, I felt that I met every requirement for a successful tenure."

maybe: "After reading the posting, I feel that I meet..."

It prevents any implicit thinking that you were qualified and not anymore.

3) Grammar typo if this is the final draft: "Success can be defined may way"

4) I don't like using "hard-working" because everyone uses it. Maybe something more creative.

Other than that I think you have a letter that will get you an interview for sure. Nice use of "acumen". I recently got offered an intern position and my cover letter wasn't as good as yours, so I'm sure you'll get it.

Hope this helps. Good Luck!
 
Excellent letter except a few things. Just IMO. Take it for what its worth.

1) I would remove the "you" and use "I am writing to formally..."

2) This sentence sounds awkward to me...
"When I finished reading the posting, I felt that I met every requirement for a successful tenure."

maybe: "After reading the posting, I feel that I meet..."

It prevents any implicit thinking that you were qualified and not anymore.

3) Grammar typo if this is the final draft: "Success can be defined may way"

4) I don't like using "hard-working" because everyone uses it. Maybe something more creative.

Other than that I think you have a letter that will get you an interview for sure. Nice use of "acumen". I recently got offered an intern position and my cover letter wasn't as good as yours, so I'm sure you'll get it.

Hope this helps. Good Luck!
 
Put in some info about why you want to work for them specifically, show that you've done your hw and researched the company
 
Put in some info about why you want to work for them specifically, show that you've done your hw and researched the company
 
Originally Posted by AntBanks81


Input please NT fam...its for an office services assistant position. This would get me out of the field as a salesman.

Oh, this was the requirement listed in the posting

· Letter of interest highlighting factors that you believe make you an ideal candidate.



I am writing you to formally declare my interest in the Office Services Assistant position. When I finished reading the posting, I felt that I met every requirement for a successful tenure. My background is in sales, marketing and customer service. My feeling is that my experiences on sales teams will aid me in providing stellar support to the Assist Retirement Fund staff. I also believe that my customer service acumen will lead to great interactions with Fund members.

I feel that I can add value to your staff in many ways. My employers and peers have always complimented me on my analytical skill and creativity. It is my belief that I can use these traits to perform the tasks associated with this position at a high level and find methods to increase efficiency. Also, the math skills required for the position will not be an issue for me. I love working with numbers as much as I love working with people.

To close, my experiences along the way have shaped me into a hard-working, organized and confident individual. Success can be defined may ways, but I choose to define it as doing my job well. It is my desire to show you and the staff that I can excel in this position. I am excited to have the opportunity to speak with you more about the position. Thank you for taking the time to review my record of employment and educational experiences.
Click to expand...
Cut out the parts about "I believe"and "I feel" and change it to I will, or "my skills would benefit the company because...".  Since you're writing it, it's assumed that's already what "you believe".  Also, leave out "to close".  Since they can see the end, you should assume they already know you're closing.
 
Originally Posted by AntBanks81


Input please NT fam...its for an office services assistant position. This would get me out of the field as a salesman.

Oh, this was the requirement listed in the posting

· Letter of interest highlighting factors that you believe make you an ideal candidate.



I am writing you to formally declare my interest in the Office Services Assistant position. When I finished reading the posting, I felt that I met every requirement for a successful tenure. My background is in sales, marketing and customer service. My feeling is that my experiences on sales teams will aid me in providing stellar support to the Assist Retirement Fund staff. I also believe that my customer service acumen will lead to great interactions with Fund members.

I feel that I can add value to your staff in many ways. My employers and peers have always complimented me on my analytical skill and creativity. It is my belief that I can use these traits to perform the tasks associated with this position at a high level and find methods to increase efficiency. Also, the math skills required for the position will not be an issue for me. I love working with numbers as much as I love working with people.

To close, my experiences along the way have shaped me into a hard-working, organized and confident individual. Success can be defined may ways, but I choose to define it as doing my job well. It is my desire to show you and the staff that I can excel in this position. I am excited to have the opportunity to speak with you more about the position. Thank you for taking the time to review my record of employment and educational experiences.
Click to expand...
Cut out the parts about "I believe"and "I feel" and change it to I will, or "my skills would benefit the company because...".  Since you're writing it, it's assumed that's already what "you believe".  Also, leave out "to close".  Since they can see the end, you should assume they already know you're closing.
 
A cover letter for a resume is supposed to be very short. All u wNt to say in the cover letter is that you are interested in the position and yur a hard worker etc. A paragraph tops. Then include yir contact info and say u can meet whenever the employer would like. All the other stuff you said should be saved for the interview. If you spill all your beans now what are you gonna say in the interview?
 
A cover letter for a resume is supposed to be very short. All u wNt to say in the cover letter is that you are interested in the position and yur a hard worker etc. A paragraph tops. Then include yir contact info and say u can meet whenever the employer would like. All the other stuff you said should be saved for the interview. If you spill all your beans now what are you gonna say in the interview?
 
Very nice use of vocabulary. This thread can also be an input for other NT'ers who need to write a cover letter.
 
Originally Posted by jcsellsf

A cover letter for a resume is supposed to be very short. All u wNt to say in the cover letter is that you are interested in the position and yur a hard worker etc. A paragraph tops. Then include yir contact info and say u can meet whenever the employer would like. All the other stuff you said should be saved for the interview. If you spill all your beans now what are you gonna say in the interview?
Click to expand...
not necessarily true...for all the interviews I've been on its not so much about your qualifications/experiences but more about situational/ potential stuff...expressing interest is only a part of a good cover letter.
 
Originally Posted by jcsellsf

A cover letter for a resume is supposed to be very short. All u wNt to say in the cover letter is that you are interested in the position and yur a hard worker etc. A paragraph tops. Then include yir contact info and say u can meet whenever the employer would like. All the other stuff you said should be saved for the interview. If you spill all your beans now what are you gonna say in the interview?
Click to expand...
not necessarily true...for all the interviews I've been on its not so much about your qualifications/experiences but more about situational/ potential stuff...expressing interest is only a part of a good cover letter.
 
Very nice use of vocabulary. This thread can also be an input for other NT'ers who need to write a cover letter.
 
Here is a template I've been using if it means anything to anyone. Its a customized version from the job center at my old university. It allows for one to cover the main experiences from several past positions (... is where you fill in your own experiences).

===

your contact information

address of employer

date of application

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to apply for the ... opening within ... . I believe that my experience with ... along with extensive writing experience, organization skills, and dedication to hard work will greatly benefit your office.

I gained valuable experience working with professionals and learned a great deal about responsibility and strategy as a research assistant at the law firm of ... . As a key team-member in a dynamic and fast-paced environment, my organizational skills, diligence and motivation to complete tasks efficiently and independently were an asset to the firm. I... . In addition, I... . I also... . As an intern for... , I interacted ... . My main task was to ... . Furthermore, I assisted ... . As part of my broader research experience, I conducted research ... . My research and writing experience has refined my ability to think critically within a technical framework.

I would like to learn more about ... and am looking for a hands-on experience in a challenging environment. Since I graduated with a B.A. in ... and would like to pursue a ..., I am particularly interested in working in an atmosphere that facilitates ....

I believe that my enthusiasm and willingness to apply my skills in new situations and innovative ways will serve as an invaluable asset to your office. Please refer to my résumé for more details. I am eager to further discuss my qualifications with you and look forward to hearing from you soon. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
 
Here is a template I've been using if it means anything to anyone. Its a customized version from the job center at my old university. It allows for one to cover the main experiences from several past positions (... is where you fill in your own experiences).

===

your contact information

address of employer

date of application

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to apply for the ... opening within ... . I believe that my experience with ... along with extensive writing experience, organization skills, and dedication to hard work will greatly benefit your office.

I gained valuable experience working with professionals and learned a great deal about responsibility and strategy as a research assistant at the law firm of ... . As a key team-member in a dynamic and fast-paced environment, my organizational skills, diligence and motivation to complete tasks efficiently and independently were an asset to the firm. I... . In addition, I... . I also... . As an intern for... , I interacted ... . My main task was to ... . Furthermore, I assisted ... . As part of my broader research experience, I conducted research ... . My research and writing experience has refined my ability to think critically within a technical framework.

I would like to learn more about ... and am looking for a hands-on experience in a challenging environment. Since I graduated with a B.A. in ... and would like to pursue a ..., I am particularly interested in working in an atmosphere that facilitates ....

I believe that my enthusiasm and willingness to apply my skills in new situations and innovative ways will serve as an invaluable asset to your office. Please refer to my résumé for more details. I am eager to further discuss my qualifications with you and look forward to hearing from you soon. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
 
Here's mine:
I am writing in regards to the position currently listed on a Job Posting I recently have come upon. My resume is enclosed for your review. Given my related education and excellent capabilities I would appreciate your consideration for this job opening.

I believe my skill set to be a fit to the inquiring position which include but are not limited to: social and personable traits, problem solving, and critical and analytical thinking. I considered myself to be quite savvy concerning technical responsibilities. I believe I possess the dedication, the willingness to learn and expand and could potentially provide some fresh insight for your company.

I appreciate your taking the time to review my credentials and experience. Again, thank you for your consideration.

Respectfully yours,

name
 
Here's mine:
I am writing in regards to the position currently listed on a Job Posting I recently have come upon. My resume is enclosed for your review. Given my related education and excellent capabilities I would appreciate your consideration for this job opening.

I believe my skill set to be a fit to the inquiring position which include but are not limited to: social and personable traits, problem solving, and critical and analytical thinking. I considered myself to be quite savvy concerning technical responsibilities. I believe I possess the dedication, the willingness to learn and expand and could potentially provide some fresh insight for your company.

I appreciate your taking the time to review my credentials and experience. Again, thank you for your consideration.

Respectfully yours,

name
 
Originally Posted by AntBanks81


Input please NT fam...its for an office services assistant position. This would get me out of the field as a salesman.

Oh, this was the requirement listed in the posting

· Letter of interest highlighting factors that you believe make you an ideal candidate.



I am writing you to formally declare my interest in the Office Services Assistant position. When I finished reading the posting, I felt that I met every requirement for a successful tenure. My background is in sales, marketing and customer service. My feeling is that my experiences on sales teams will aid me in providing stellar support to the Assist Retirement Fund staff. I also believe that my customer service acumen will lead to great interactions with Fund members.

I feel that I can add value to your staff in many ways. My employers and peers have always complimented me on my analytical skill and creativity. It is my belief that I can use these traits to perform the tasks associated with this position at a high level and find methods to increase efficiency. Also, the math skills required for the position will not be an issue for me. I love working with numbers as much as I love working with people.

To close, my experiences along the way have shaped me into a hard-working, organized and confident individual. Success can be defined may ways, but I choose to define it as doing my job well. It is my desire to show you and the staff that I can excel in this position. I am excited to have the opportunity to speak with you more about the position. Thank you for taking the time to review my record of employment and educational experiences.
Click to expand...

Be assertive OP. As your draft stands, you come off as just meeting the requirements and to conversational.

Your cover letter should sell you but should also showcase a serious tone. Best of luck!!!

State your interest in the position and where you found the job (i.e. friend, career board, etc.)- 1 sentence

Give a very brief intro to who you are and what you bring. - 3 to 6 sentences

Close it by restating how you'd' like to join their team and give contact information (email address AND phone number)- 2 sentences

Thank them for their time and let them know you look forward to hearing from them soon- 1 line 
 
Originally Posted by AntBanks81


Input please NT fam...its for an office services assistant position. This would get me out of the field as a salesman.

Oh, this was the requirement listed in the posting

· Letter of interest highlighting factors that you believe make you an ideal candidate.



I am writing you to formally declare my interest in the Office Services Assistant position. When I finished reading the posting, I felt that I met every requirement for a successful tenure. My background is in sales, marketing and customer service. My feeling is that my experiences on sales teams will aid me in providing stellar support to the Assist Retirement Fund staff. I also believe that my customer service acumen will lead to great interactions with Fund members.

I feel that I can add value to your staff in many ways. My employers and peers have always complimented me on my analytical skill and creativity. It is my belief that I can use these traits to perform the tasks associated with this position at a high level and find methods to increase efficiency. Also, the math skills required for the position will not be an issue for me. I love working with numbers as much as I love working with people.

To close, my experiences along the way have shaped me into a hard-working, organized and confident individual. Success can be defined may ways, but I choose to define it as doing my job well. It is my desire to show you and the staff that I can excel in this position. I am excited to have the opportunity to speak with you more about the position. Thank you for taking the time to review my record of employment and educational experiences.
Click to expand...

Be assertive OP. As your draft stands, you come off as just meeting the requirements and to conversational.

Your cover letter should sell you but should also showcase a serious tone. Best of luck!!!

State your interest in the position and where you found the job (i.e. friend, career board, etc.)- 1 sentence

Give a very brief intro to who you are and what you bring. - 3 to 6 sentences

Close it by restating how you'd' like to join their team and give contact information (email address AND phone number)- 2 sentences

Thank them for their time and let them know you look forward to hearing from them soon- 1 line 
 
AntBanks81 wrote:
Input please NT fam...its for an office services assistant position. This would get me out of the field as a salesman.

Oh, this was the requirement listed in the posting

· Letter of interest highlighting factors that you believe make you an ideal candidate.



I am writing you to formally declare my interest in the Office Services Assistant position. When I finished reading the posting, I felt that I met every requirement for a successful tenure. My background is in sales, marketing and customer service. My feeling is that my experiences on sales teams will aid me in providing stellar support to the Assist Retirement Fund staff. I also believe that my customer service acumen will lead to great interactions with Fund members.

I feel that I can add value to your staff in many ways. My employers and peers have always complimented me on my analytical skill and creativity. It is my belief that I can use these traits to perform the tasks associated with this position at a high level and find methods to increase efficiency. Also, the math skills required for the position will not be an issue for me. I love working with numbers as much as I love working with people.

To close, my experiences along the way have shaped me into a hard-working, organized and confident individual. Success can be defined may ways, but I choose to define it as doing my job well. It is my desire to show you and the staff that I can excel in this position. I am excited to have the opportunity to speak with you more about the position. Thank you for taking the time to review my record of employment and educational experiences.



   Winway resume/cover letter builder is a excellent software that has a plethora of templates and examples to use and has just about every type of job/position you can think of. Even has designs backgrounds etc for printed resume. Also has software for virtual interviews with common asked questions. Good luck with the job etc...
Click to expand...
 
AntBanks81 wrote:
Input please NT fam...its for an office services assistant position. This would get me out of the field as a salesman.

Oh, this was the requirement listed in the posting

· Letter of interest highlighting factors that you believe make you an ideal candidate.



I am writing you to formally declare my interest in the Office Services Assistant position. When I finished reading the posting, I felt that I met every requirement for a successful tenure. My background is in sales, marketing and customer service. My feeling is that my experiences on sales teams will aid me in providing stellar support to the Assist Retirement Fund staff. I also believe that my customer service acumen will lead to great interactions with Fund members.

I feel that I can add value to your staff in many ways. My employers and peers have always complimented me on my analytical skill and creativity. It is my belief that I can use these traits to perform the tasks associated with this position at a high level and find methods to increase efficiency. Also, the math skills required for the position will not be an issue for me. I love working with numbers as much as I love working with people.

To close, my experiences along the way have shaped me into a hard-working, organized and confident individual. Success can be defined may ways, but I choose to define it as doing my job well. It is my desire to show you and the staff that I can excel in this position. I am excited to have the opportunity to speak with you more about the position. Thank you for taking the time to review my record of employment and educational experiences.



   Winway resume/cover letter builder is a excellent software that has a plethora of templates and examples to use and has just about every type of job/position you can think of. Even has designs backgrounds etc for printed resume. Also has software for virtual interviews with common asked questions. Good luck with the job etc...
Click to expand...
 
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