Dad Jokes - post your best corny joke.

[mclilbit]

You all know the ones, the ones where they are so stupid - they are actually funny.

Q: What do you call a cow that twitches?

A: Beef Jerky.

------

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?

A: Ground Beef.

 

[gil23]

 

[theone218]

Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A: Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

 

[daruma]

when does a sandwich cook?
when it's bakin' lettuce and tomatoes.

(got this from the dormtainment guys )

 

[paulwest1985]

I'll bite

How do you make a Kleenex dance?

Spoiler

Put a little boogie in it!

 

[bendover]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?


FSSSSSHHHHHHHH

 

[mclilbit]

paulwest1985 just leveled up this thread with the "spoiler" code.

 

[8|24]

While backing up a car, "Ah, this takes me back"

 

[RIP sleazyy]

Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A: Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

Gold, Jerry.

 

[SC kid]

Why did the old lady fall into the well.

Because she did not see that well

 

[richiecotite]

Not a joke, but whenever my kids complain "I'm hungry", I hit em with the "Hi Hungry, I'm Daddy, it's nice to meet you"

Pisses them off to no end. Real tears.

 

[SC kid]

Starts at 30 seconds
The last one got me i can't lie

 

[jringo66]

How does the moon cut his hair ?

He clips it ! (Ha !)

 

[Case]

Not a joke, but whenever my kids complain "I'm hungry", I hit em with the "Hi Hungry, I'm Daddy, it's nice to meet you"

Pisses them off to no end. Real tears.

I do this too..For some reason my son still laughs at it..

My dad used to get me with this every single time when I was a kid..
Me: "I'm thirsty"
Dad: "I'm Friday..Let's get together on Saturday to have a Sundae"..

 

[Nike Jordan]

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

 

[jape]

why did the toilet paper not cross the road?





it got stuck in the crack

 

[mrd1]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Spoiler

Because he was dead.

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Spoiler

Because she had no arms.

Why did Simba win the race?

Spoiler

Because he Mufasa.

 

[jape]

lmaoooo @ all 3...don't know why the first 2 were so funny

 

[Mr Dink]

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Spoiler

Roberto.

 

[wayniac211]

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised

 

[wayniac211]

Why didn't Barbie ever get preggo?


Because Ken came in another box

 

[HNL HI]

thread is lols

 

[theone218]

For all my Pokemon Go players,

Q: How do you get Pikachu on to a bus?

A: You Pokemon (while poking the person)

It's all about the delivery with this one.

 

[wayniac211]

Why doesn’t a chicken wear pants?


Because its pecker is on its head.