To keep a long story relatively short, everyone except my mother is extended family. We were somewhat adopted by the family when I was 7. Since I was a child, I was expected to work harder and do more than anyone else in the family and for the the family. I was somewhat of a stepchild and a punching bag at times but there was love and support and the areas of my life that would benefit them.
I managed to make something of myself and create a good distance to live my life and support the family as needed. I became the go to male figure for helping the women and I also developed a mentoring program for the children in the family and religious community(fizzled out after 5 years due to lack of support but got close to my fiance through the program).
They were always cool with me dating women that they could control/intimidate but my fiance isn't that type of woman. So basically they are not with the marriage. Many of them didn't congratulate us on the engagement and didn't want to do anything to celebrate. Some also didn't send the RSVP's back at a reasonable time. Yet my family has celebrated my cousins recent pregnancy out of wedlock, my ex having a baby with some washed dude(no disrespect to homie but he's just very washed) and will support anyone coming into the religion with what seems like anything but wouldn't support me for my achievements like graduating college, PE license and now getting married. My fiance has seen how they have disrespected me in the past as an adult and basically isn't with banging with them neither after how this engagement went down.
They are very good people and are trying to get better with how they treat people but because the family is primarily a matriarchy (most women are unmarried and single) of women with a grudge against men, they aren't very supportive of the men in the family. They are jealous because basically I'm being completely removed as the man in their lives to focus on my own family. It could've been avoided but they recently drew that line in the sand and is probably better for me in the long run.