What i read once a week (my personal notes and quotes i’ve collected):
Perspective
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company ... a temple ... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you ... we are in charge of our Attitudes."
Be aware of your emotions. Acknowledge them. The awareness is all that is necessary. And then continue on.
If our thoughts get us into trouble more often than not, wouldn’t it be logical to see that thinking less is a promising solution to our predicament?
What we push away grows stronger. Our thoughts are the same way. It’s not possible to force thinking to stop.
Instead of trying to eliminate your thinking, why not try to follow the path set forth by experienced meditators and spiritual seekers.
Notice your thinking, and allow it to move through you. The less you hold on to your thinking, the less the thoughts weigh on you. No judgment. No story. Just let them go, each and every time. It’s a process of letting go vs. trying to do anything actively. Naturally and inevitably, your mind will settle and the benefits of a relaxed cognitive state will be revealed.
Choose happiness. Hard work. Dedication.
Just get on with it
When a child is learning how to walk and falls down 50 times they never think to themselves "maybe this isn't for me"
When "I" is replaced with "We" even illness becomes wellness.
1. Today is a good day to have a good day.
2. The best goal is no goal.
3. The prize is in the process.
4. Learn to love the process of becoming great.
5. Don't take life too seriously. You'll never make it out alive.
I’ve interviewed nearly 400 high performers and top achievers on my podcast and nearly all of them were 35+.
After talking with all of these men over the past half decade I have found a couple of common themes that they ALL followed in order to become hyper successful (many of them were complete failures in their 20’s and then turned things around).
Here they are.
1. Take Your Health Seriously
Your metabolism slows as you age making it VITAL that you take care of your health now.
Eat 80% whole foods, supplement wisely and go to the gym at least 4 times a week.
2. Save and Invest 10%
Consider this an additional 20% tax from uncle Sam.
Put aside 10% of every paycheck into an opportunity fund and the other 10% into a low risk/high yield index fund or something similar.
3. Educate Yourself Intensely
Seriously, every day for at least 30 minutes read books, listen to podcasts or audiobooks, take online courses, or hire a coach .
You won’t regret it.
4. Start Sleeping 8 Hours+ A Night
You won’t regret it and you will perform at least 70% better than you normally do.
Try to be in bed by 11 p.m. and awake between 6:30 and 8:00 a.m. depending on your needs (if you are active you will need more sleep).
Blackout the room, turn off all screens by 9 p.m., drink a cup of hot water with 1 Tbsp honey and 2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar.
Your life will never be the same.
5. Get a Coach
It might seem kinda weird at first, but having a men’s coach helped me accelerate my life and business in ways that I can’t even count.
Regardless of your current level of success, you NEED a coach to help you identify your blindspots, spot opportunities, and ensure that you stay accountable during your 30’s so that you can enjoy your 40’s.
6. Take it Easy on Yourself
10,000 years ago, simply making it to 30 years old would be considered “Success”.
Today, you aren’t a “Success” unless you have a hot wife, 7 figure bank account, and a body like Adonis.
This is a load of crap.
You aren’t doing as badly as you think and you can always do better than you realize.
Learn to relax and take it easy on yourself, love yourself, and take care of yourself.
7. Stop Listening to Broke Unhappy People
Unless you want to learn what not to do, stop listening to broke unhappy people.
Even if they are your friends or family.
8. Give Up the Major Vices
In your 20’s, you can smoke cigarettes, pound the booze, snort lines, and huff paint without too many consequences. As you break into your 30’s this is no longer the case.
Not only is your body no longer able to take the same abuse that it once could, but you are significantly increasing your risk for a premature death if you engage in these vices on a regular basis.
If you want to have a sip of bourbon with some friends or the occassional smoke, that’s fine.
But if you are a slave to any substance it needs to get cut out NOW.
9. Quit Doing Stuff You Hate
Look, life is too damn short to constantly spend it doing things that you hate.
If you hate your job, relationship, or city… Change it.
10. Be Present
The WORST thing you can do with your 30’s is what so many people do with their 20’s.
They go through this amazing decade of their lives without actually enjoying it.
They are constantly trying to get to the next thing and eventually they wake up old and dying only to realize that they never truly lived.
Don’t let this be you.
I’ll leave you with a poem that I love from Chief Tecumseh
So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Now I’m 38 years old and I’m trying to unwind 20 years of decisions that I made in an attempt to find fulfillment and to do what I really want to do with my life.
If I could go back and do it over again, I would have done things differently, but then I wouldn’t be who I am. So, if any young person is reading this and wants to try to learn from my mistakes, here are a couple things you might consider that will help you find real happiness and fulfillment.
Learn to accept yourself as you are. You might not like certain things about yourself, and you can work to improve them, but if you can’t be happy with yourself now, you won’t be happy with yourself after you improve either.
Aim up, one step at a time. I failed so many times at my attempts to lose weight and make other improvements because I thought I needed to do it all at once. Life is long, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. If it takes you two years to accomplish something, that’s okay. Just take action every day.
Make self-awareness your goal when you want to feel better about yourself. Don’t go buy something or post a picture on Instagram. Instead, take personality tests. Think about why you do the things you do. Work to understand how your past affects how you see the present, and how you think about the future.
Take responsibility for your own life. You don’t have control over anyone else, and you can’t change anyone else. Changing yourself is hard enough. Focus on that…it’s a lifelong mission.
We all want to be happy. To sit down at the end of the day and feel like we matter and that our lives are worthwhile and meaningful. The most damaging belief is believing that anything but loving yourself, improving yourself, and taking responsibility will give you this feeling.
No matter what goals you have there is one way that will unlock all the doors. It works on every door in your life regardless of the area of your life!
However, it is not a masterkey!
There is no one key to life that will unlock all the doors. Rather, it is a lockpick!
It’s lockpick that allows you to open every door in the world, given a certain amount of time.
This is also the key-trait that you will find almost every successful person talk about is: PERSISTENCE!
Persistence is what will open all doors, because persistence works like time.
Nothing can stand the test of time and even the toughest door will give in sooner or later!
Even the toughest door in the world will give in if you hit it often enough.
If you can work through the hardships, stand up time and time again from the failures and take another step forward regardless of what you are facing, you will win.
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place. And I don’t care how tough you are. It will beat you to your knees and keep you permanently there if you let it.
You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life, but it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.
Now if you know what you are worth, go out and get what you are worth, but you gotta be willing to take the hits and not pointing fingers, saying you ain’t where you want to be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that, and that ain’t you. You’re better than that” –Rocky Balboa
Look at the stories of successful people and you will see it everywhere.
The Musicians that played years in bars and clubs before even releasing one hit single. The Actors that worked in hundreds of commercials and smaller roles before they got a shot at the big screen. And the Athletes that spent thousands of hours working on their skills, competing in small competitions and grinding every day before winning the one event that counted.
The Authors that wrote dozens of books before landing one Best-Seller. The Speakers that spoke at prisons and schools before they got a shot on a big stage. And the CEOs that failed multiple businesses before creating one that worked.
All of these people encountered hardships and struggled, but they still kept beating at the door that would lead them to their dream life!
And over time that door eventually gave in and they were shown that all their hard work was not pointless.
Every person encounters tough times, failure and hardships, but only the ones that persist are the ones that win!
You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.
While you're going through this process of trying to find the satisfaction in your work, pretend you feel satisfied. Tell yourself you had a good day. Walk through the corridors with a smile rather than a scowl. Your positive energy will radiate. If you act like you're having fun, you'll find you are having fun.
—————-
I used to have this problem for many many years and it is horrible.
Why my mind was racing so much looking back at it now, was because of worrying. What was this person thinking about me, why did i do this stupid little thing in front of them , why dint i go to this thing i should have ect.
So my relief from this constant overthinking came when i slowly understood nobody gives a f**k about that little thing, or that i said something weird. its forgotten a hour later for most people. so it was only me overthinking it to a point of insanity.
So look around when you go out, see how many people are caught up in their own world when passing through the world. they are looking at their phone, in conversation with someone else or just looking blankly at something going from A to B.
Hope you get better , because the world is not as bad as your mind thinks it is.
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I used to be a habit and strategy junkie.
I would read hundreds of books, try to apply dozens of strategies and implement countless habits that experts like Tony Robbins and Tim Ferris recommended.
None of it really worked.
Or it worked a little, but as soon as I stopped applying the strategy or habit, the results disappeared within a few weeks.
I was frustrated and pissed off.
Was I really supposed to spend an hour each and every morning meditating, taking cold showers, and writing down goals and affirmations?
F*** that.
Why is it that animals and children seem to do just fine without “priming” themselves each morning?
And then… it hit me.
The only reason I was chasing all the results promised by strategies, techniques and habits was that I was trying to cope with my insecure and inadequate feelings.
Why else would I be trying to do more and be more all the time?
I was simply trying to fill a hole inside myself, to feel more motivated, more confident and more disciplined.
But the more I tried to fill the hole, the larger it became.
What I realized in that moment was that I was already enough.
There was no place for me to get to.
I was already a perfect, unique me.
I didn’t have to try to be a better version of that any more than a tree needs to strive to be a better version of itself.
It’s a rather curious paradox that when we accept ourselves exactly as we are, then we can change.
And so that is my one habit: I accept myself as I am.
I ignore the story my mind tries to weave of some ideal I should live up to.
I accept my negative thoughts.
I accept my occasional insecurity.
I accept my procrastination.
And simply by this one act alone, I allow myself to change.
Without violence.
Without needing to overcome myself.
Without subduing some part of me.
Without judgement
Simply through acceptance.
Through love.
When I accept my shortcomings, I eliminate the shame and fear that insulates them like moats that insulate castles.
This allows me to attempt things I never would have before.
It allows me to risk failure and go for what I want.
I am freed of the burden to be perfect.
I don’t need to win every time.
I can simply let my intuition guide me.
To wherever it wants to take me.
All I ever need to do is take the next step.
When I accept myself and my shortcomings, I can accept others’ too.
I no longer need to judge them.
I can meet them where they are.
I can reach out and understand.
I whisper: “Hey, I’m scared and imperfect, too.”
And in my loving acceptance, they can change, too.
Because we’re all perfect in our own unique way.
You are, too.
What you allow, is what will always continue. Guard your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. You are the master of your own destiny. Refuse to be a victim of circumstances. Do not give anyone the power to control your feelings and emotions. You have the power to decide what controls you and what don’t. Let go of anyone or anything that doesn't give you peace of mind. Rule your mind or it will rule you.
Take a look at four (4) ways to be mentally strong;
1) Refuse to be a victim: How you see yourself is very important. You are a reflection of your thoughts. If you always see yourself as a success, you are likely to succeed at almost everything you do. But, when you see yourself as the victim, you will always be a victim of circumstances. Refuse to be a victim. It’s a choice only you can make. Your decision to always be victorious will set the boundary between you and failure. It will set the tone with which people relate with you. You will be seen as someone of value and importance. And no longer be taken for granted. See yourself as a victor not a victim.
2) Be kind to yourself: No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and fall short of doing the right things. This is what makes us human. Life is for living; and not to be stressed over. Always be kind to yourself and forgive your mistakes and shortcomings. When you learn to encourage yourself, you will get to understand that you are your biggest supporter. When you don’t help yourself move forward, you won’t be able to live your life to the fullest. Sometimes the thing holding you back is all in your head. Let go of guilt. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself.
3) Don’t compare yourself to others: Life is a journey not a destination. Everyone has their own race to run. Don’t underestimate yourself by comparing yourself with others; because you have no idea what their journey is all about. Comparison steals happiness. It prevents you from seeing how truly unique and special you are. Don’t compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. Strive to be a better version of yourself. You are your only competition.
4) Forget what people think about you: Do not deny who you are, or who you want to become just because someone has a problem with it. You are responsible for your own life. You are the one that takes the punches when life hits hard; not others. Forget what others think about you. If they don’t encourage you to aspire to the person you want to become, let them go. You are the master of your own destiny. What others think about you doesn't count. It’s what you think about yourself that really matters.
5) Your success will be largely dependant on the amount of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have."
———
This is something I wish someone was able to break down to me when I was younger because it would have saved me YEARS of wasted time.
In order to understand this answer in its entirety, you need to understand the concept of “civilization” and “society”.
Human beings, mankind, etc. evolved from a very brutal environment where it was literally kill or be killed. Food was in short supply, mating was in short supply, and of course, living was in short supply.
Early humans said to themselves “There has to be a better way to do things. This is a ****ty existence.”
So over time, civilization was made possible by agriculture. The development of agriculture is the single most important invention in human history because it allowed a population to be sustained on foodstuffs that could be grown from the ground.
Food was abundant and the population grew as a result. With multiple people existing in civilization comes the concept of division of labor, which means that you can offload “hard stuff” to other people to take care of it for you.
This was very good because, with that extra free time, mankind was able to ask important questions like “why do objects fall to the ground” or “why am I here?”. Such is the birth of philosophy, art, music, physics, language, and various other things that enrich human life.
I bring this up because it is very important to understand what is afflicting various people today.
We live in a world of such progress, such abundance, such splendor that we believe “there is nothing more to be done. I can sit back and chill.”
The danger of being alive as a human being in today’s civilization comes not from external threats, but the internal ones.
In this instance, the delusion of “I don’t need to do hard things.”
We have become so divorced from the idea of labor and effort as a society that we are slaves to instant gratification.
But it is precisely this belief that holds many people back.
We only live in this society of abundance because of the backbreaking and mind-squeezing work of people from the past. Pain, struggle, strain was everpresent for them. Everything they wanted had to be worked for.
The hardness of nature is covered only by the thin veneer of civilization.
We know this on a basic level (you don’t work, you don’t get paid) but what about the nuances? The things that take us beyond survival mode and as thriving, self-actualized human beings?
If you’re never able to tolerate a little bit of pain and discomfort, you’ll never get better. – Angela Duckworth,
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance
In the realm of skill-based achievement, psychology researcher Angela Duckworth states that our effort and what we put into life counts twice.
You may be blessed with natural talent in a field, but if you never put effort to develop the skills, you will never get them.
And of course, you can’t achieve anything without skills and conscious striving (effort).
People say they want all these things. But how much effort is being funneled towards them?
You want to play guitar like Jimi Hendrix or Eddie Van Halen yet you can’t even find the time to practice for 2 hours a day.
You want to make “six figures” but you don’t want to sit down and develop a tangible valuable skill.
You want to get jacked but you don’t want to go through the pain of exercise.
You want to gain “enlightenment” but you don’t want to meditate for long periods of time and probe the inner depths of your mind.
There are many opportunities in today’s society, but the question is does the average modern human being have the ability to grasp them?
I would say no, not if someone is not accustomed to doing things that involve some degree of effort and exertion and they quit at the first sign of resistance.
Not if someone is afraid of a little pain.
If you can’t go through the pain of exerting effort to develop skills that offer value, you won’t even get a tiny whiff of your potential.
You’ll forever go throughout life aimless in pursuit of ephemeral pleasures.
Seeking satisfaction but getting none of it.
So the one piece of advice I’d give to people, especially young people is to build your resilience as much as you can.
You have to look for all the ways in which you are being weakened by society in important areas and do the opposite.
Buying things with money you don’t have, looking for quick hits of dopamine, settling for “consolation prizes” - all of these erode your character over time.
A lot of us are way too soft and break at the first bend or run hiding with our tails between our legs at the first sign of conflict.
Physical resilience, mental resilience, emotional resilience. All of these must be strengthened if you want to stay standing when life hits you (which it will).
So the question isn’t “how far will you go?” The real question is “how much can you withstand?”
“If a man has tempered himself and arrived at this principle, he will control everything under heaven with a single sword. This means that if one disciplines himself in this way, exhaustively tempering this pure metal thousand times over, he becomes instantly free - like the quick unsheathing of a sword. Under heaven, there is nothing that can parry this blade. - Takuan Soho, The Unfettered Mind
———
Absolutely nothing.
For the first 39 years of my life, I did everything.
Meditation.
Cold showers.
Wrote down my goals.
Visualisation.
And so on.
None of it really worked for me.
It just made me think there must be something deeply wrong with me.
Life went from bad to worse.
Then I came across someone who helped me wake up from the dream of my thinking.
This person helped me see that all feelings are generated from within, not from achievements, practices, or possessions.
So I stopped strategising, fearing, blaming myself, and worrying about what I said and what I did.
Instead, I just got on with life.
Like animals or babies. (Ever notice how they don’t need self improvement programs and practices to be awesome at life?)
Today, my approach is fundamentally unintellectual.
I cut myself slack. As much slack as it takes.
I don’t spend much time monitoring what I say and do.
And if I say or do something stupid or negative, I don’t give myself a hard time about it. I just take a mental note and move on. Self punishment isn’t necessary for learning. Or even that useful.
Instead, I just let my life flow.
It’s amazing how easy and effortless life becomes when you just do what occurs to you and stop spending so damn much time in your head.
So rather than add yet another thing to do and practice and remember to improve yourself, realize how perfectly awesome you are exactly as you are.
And then stop thinking and get on with it.
———
Just Do It
you dont even have a car, or a job
