Favorite Lines from the Office?

[airjordan jb23]

"A guy went to a $5 !!%%*+ & spent the night with her. The next day he finds out he has crabs. He goes back to the !!%%*+ to complain. She then replies: You only paid $5, what did you expect? Lobster?"
-Michaels joke.

"I am now chopping Phyllis' head of with a chainsaw!"
-Andy

*Dead bird in Michael Office... Creed: "Hey guys, someone making soup?"

Way To many to name.

Im always laughing at differnt points of the day thinking about the office.

 

[mosthated770]

Originally Posted by an dee 51o

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

 

[mosthated770]

Originally Posted by an dee 51o

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

 

[airkeung88]

Originally Posted by EmnabtnacesoRJ

"Thats what she said"

episode was funny.

 

[airkeung88]

Originally Posted by EmnabtnacesoRJ

"Thats what she said"

episode was funny.

 

[lieutenant kif]

The entire "BOOM! Roasted" scene.

"Stanley, you crush your wife during you have sex and your heart sucks, boom roasted."

"Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke or a dumb joke, boom roasted."

"Jim you're 6'4" and weigh 140 pounds, Gumby has a better body than you, boom roasted."

 

[lieutenant kif]

The entire "BOOM! Roasted" scene.

"Stanley, you crush your wife during you have sex and your heart sucks, boom roasted."

"Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke or a dumb joke, boom roasted."

"Jim you're 6'4" and weigh 140 pounds, Gumby has a better body than you, boom roasted."

 

[balloonoboy]

Michael and Andy with the Elvis and Baby impersonation.

 

[balloonoboy]

Michael and Andy with the Elvis and Baby impersonation.

 

[lieutenant kif]

The entire "BOOM! Roasted" scene.

"Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks, boom roasted."

"Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke or a dumb joke, boom roasted."

"Jim you're 6'4" and weigh 140 pounds, Gumby has a better body than you, boom roasted."

 

[lieutenant kif]

The entire "BOOM! Roasted" scene.

"Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks, boom roasted."

"Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke or a dumb joke, boom roasted."

"Jim you're 6'4" and weigh 140 pounds, Gumby has a better body than you, boom roasted."

 

[bostonthreeparty]

 

[bostonthreeparty]

 

[steve cash]

Originally Posted by EmnabtnacesoRJ

"Thats what she said"

 

[nick0lis]

"His cappa was detated!"

-michael talking about his bosses death

 

[nick0lis]

"His cappa was detated!"

-michael talking about his bosses death

 

[steve cash]

Originally Posted by EmnabtnacesoRJ

"Thats what she said"

 

[recycledpaper]

show is straight comedy and this thread proves it.

 

[recycledpaper]

show is straight comedy and this thread proves it.

 

[chickfileezy]

The only thing I'm worried about, is gettin a boner. lol

 

[chickfileezy]

The only thing I'm worried about, is gettin a boner. lol

 

[hieu23]

"I did not go to business school. You know who else didn't go to business school? Lebron James, Tracy McGrady, Kobe Bryant. They went right from high school to the NBA so....So, it's not the same thing at all." - Michael

*Smoke alarm goes off, Michael runs out the door before everyone*
"Yes, I've heard 'women and children first', but we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace, by law, so if I let them out first... I have a lawsuit on my hands." - Michael

 

[hieu23]

"I did not go to business school. You know who else didn't go to business school? Lebron James, Tracy McGrady, Kobe Bryant. They went right from high school to the NBA so....So, it's not the same thing at all." - Michael

*Smoke alarm goes off, Michael runs out the door before everyone*
"Yes, I've heard 'women and children first', but we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace, by law, so if I let them out first... I have a lawsuit on my hands." - Michael

 

[airjordan jb23]

Michaels hate for Toby is always appreciated, too

 

[airjordan jb23]

Michaels hate for Toby is always appreciated, too