Females not telling you they have a man..

[blazinrook]

Me and my homie were discussing the situation.
And I personally think that if a female is in a relationship, and she meets a new friend/acquaintance/buddy/guy/or any sort of man

that she is responsible for bringing up that she has a boyfriend as soon as possible.

If said harlot does not bring up she has a man, then she has a hidden agenda by purposely witholding information.

My friend argued that, maybe she doesn't want her relationship to define who she is.

Which is why she lets people get to know her before she outright says she has a man.

Maybe she is not witholding information, maybe she just hasn't told you she has a man... yet.

-i thought his argument was bs. harlots know what they're doing. 

 i personally think she is testing the waters to see if its warm enough to jump ship

 i also think it is outright disrespectful for her not to be proud to be in a relationship

What are your thoughts of females not telling you they have a man? Is females witholding their relationship status common?

Do you want your woman to be responsible for letting any dude know early on that she is in a relationship

no matter what the status is between the 2. (co-worker, classmate, friend, guy, associate)?

Or do women not have to outright say theyre in a relationship? 

 

[nktran001]

Alright, now lets switch roles. Do you still feel the same?

 

[vendetta]

I don't expect my initial conversation with a woman to be like:

Me: Hey, what's your name?
Her: I have a boyfriend
Me: ....

Unless it ends with talk about goldfish and things that don't matter.

But I see your point. I've had situations where I'll talk with a chick for 2-3 weeks and present every opportunity for them to mention they have a boyfriend and they don't say it and when it finally comes out it's in some nonchalant offhanded comment.

 

[ninjahood]

all you gotta do is ask b...and sometime if you holla'in at a chick i dont even wanna know if she has one or

not, just in case we do mess around i can always plead ignorance so it never looks bad on me.

 

[cap1229]

Originally Posted by Nktran001

Alright, now lets switch roles. Do you still feel the same?

 

[jdi23]

Why not just tell people the truth up front...you're involved....let it be known. If you don't want to let people know what the deal is then dead the relationship be single and mingle. All these damn hidden agendas and @#@@ lead to people getting caught up in situations that could have been avoided from jump.

 

[blazinrook]

Originally Posted by Vendetta

I don't expect my initial conversation with a woman to be like:

Me: Hey, what's your name?
Her: I have a boyfriend
Me: ....

Unless it ends with talk about goldfish and things that don't matter.

But I see your point. I've had situations where I'll talk with a chick for 2-3 weeks and present every opportunity for them to mention they have a boyfriend and they don't say it and when it finally comes out it's in some nonchalant offhanded comment.

lol..i'm not talking straight outright...but at least somehow mention him. I mean he should be something important in your life, right?  
your last example is exactly what i'm talking bout. 

ninjahood wrote:

---

all you gotta do is ask b...and sometime if you holla'in at a chick i dont even wanna know if she has one or

not, just in case we do mess around i can always plead ignorance so it never looks bad on me.

thats the thing...if she ain't bringing it up, why ask? might just kill the fun.
i just think shes responsible for bringing it up

if she doesn't, then she has a hidden agenda

Originally Posted by jdi23

Why not just tell people the truth up front...you're involved....let it be known. If you don't want to let people know what the deal is then dead the relationship be single and mingle. All these damn hidden agendas and @#@@ lead to people getting caught up in situations that could have been avoided from jump.

preach

 

[veintisiete]

@ OP BLATANTLY dodging the role-switch question.

Talk about hidden agendas.

 

[blazinrook]

Originally Posted by cap1229

Originally Posted by Nktran001

Alright, now lets switch roles. Do you still feel the same?

I would tell females i am in a relationship, because if i don't it is disrespectful to my woman and disrespectful to the relationship.
I would want my woman to do the same out of respect to me and whatever we got going on. If she is worried that certain

drakes will not be friends with her because she is in a relationship then they didn't want to be friends with her in the first

place because being single or taken has nothing to do with being real friends.

cap please respond..and VeintiSiete i'd like to hear your opinion as well 

 

[jermz101]

I never ask, my intentions 95% of the time is to smash...unless she brings it up, I have no care for her bf

 

[wr]

Story of my life. It's crazy how these ladies come at you like it's some kind of don't ask don't tell policy. Always pointing the finger at me to call out my mistakes until I find out they got a man. Not like no two month relationship. I always get the type that have been in long term couple of years relationship. I've just learned that women for the most part when it comes to relationships are blameless on anything. ANYTHING. I just live my life, enjoy them when they're on their boyfriend break and don't get too caught up in the details.

A lot of girls think they're in a unique situation.

They get with some dude while they are young. Give him all their good years, then try to make up for lost time once they realized how much they gave up and how young they were to begin with. Lots of these girls have practically been married since their freshman year in college. Then when 25 comes rolling around they want to be free and experience the single life. Even the ones with kids already. Im like, you missed out on all that playing house for all those years. Then want to hop up in my life because I got mobility since I haven't been tied down to anyone. At this age, I've been a loner for so long, I'm not used to all that rushing to be snuggled up and tied down and I catch attitude when I try to take my time to figure a chic out because I really don't know nothing about her besides the shady side of her being too much of a punk to take control of her life and leave her unhappy relationship. She wants to sample the market while she still under contract. Not fair at all. I don't need some dude stalking me because his girl was too much of a punk to let me know she was in a relationship. I'm really a peaceful dude and I def don't like fighting other peoples battles or getting caught up in their drama. I deserve the best in life so why settle for other peoples less.

I think they should be let it be known from the jump if they have a man or not. Sometimes I'm talking to a girl I just met and she may mention something like , "yeah my boyfriend says XYZ..." that instantly makes me change up my conversation and approach with her because I respect her relationship. Just like how I would want mine respected.

Not really too in to horoscopes but i read something interesting. It said I may be more in love with the idea of love, rather than it being something realistic and feasible. I think my ideas sometimes about love and relationships are too honest for the climate I live in. I think I'll be writing songs and poetry about love, before I have it in a relationship...smh

/rant

 

[josebronx]

Originally Posted by ninjahood

all you gotta do is ask b...and sometime if you holla'in at a chick i dont even wanna know if she has one or

not, just in case we do mess around i can always plead ignorance so it never looks bad on me.

this

 

[|A-Man|]

Why would anything be different if roles were switched? If a dude wants to cheat he'll cheat, still shady. Same for a female.

Not mentioning you have a man early in the convo when it's clear the guy is trying to get with you is deception. From there she's either a tease or a cheater.

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by ATGD7154xBBxMZ

Why would anything be different if roles were switched? If a dude wants to cheat he'll cheat, still shady. Same for a female.

Not mentioning you have a man early in the convo when it's clear the guy is trying to get with you is deception. From there she's either a tease or a cheater.

Yep.
This is why I say cheating can also be emotional. You know DAMN WELL that you're tempting another person to do something or perceive things a certain way. Playing innocent still makes you complicit in the affair. 

Leading people on is another form of cheating. 

You won't be able to watch her 24/7 and you shouldn't feel like you need to. 

If she can't represent to others what you two share outside of your relationship then why are you with her?

Its not a relationship when you're together that defines what you have, but when you're apart. She can't deny you when you're standing there.

Its my responsibility to inform others that I have a woman and hers to inform others that she has a man. UNLESS you all accept polyamory and have defined other rules for your "relationship." Anything else is blatant deceit. 

 

[Mark Antony]

 i personally think she is testing the waters to see if its warm enough to jump ship

And that's what it is mostly.  Women typically move on mentally before physically, they wanna know if know if they fall off this cirrus will they land on a nimbus.  Even if they have no plans to move on, are just a cheating bird they're not gonna tell you just like we ain't. Ladies is pimps too, ya'll isolate and get way too upset at the female side of the routine when we do it too.  If this was a specific situation fine, but it seems in general ya'll wanna create social laws for women and only women to adhere to.

 

[troymcclure]

leading people on is not cheating, it is actually called, leading people on.

most of the time, people are just leading themselves on anyway.

Just "be her friend" talk about %$!!, if you feel her enough, ask her on a date. You'll find out if she does or not at this point.

If she says she has a BF, then it's your choice whether she is worth it to be a friends or not after.

 

[blazinrook]

Originally Posted by Mark Antony

 i personally think she is testing the waters to see if its warm enough to jump ship

And that's what it is mostly.  Women typically move on mentally before physically, they wanna know if know if they fall off this cirrus will they land on a nimbus.  Even if they have no plans to move on, are just a cheating bird they're not gonna tell you just like we ain't. Ladies is pimps too, ya'll isolate and get way too upset at the female side of the routine when we do it too.  If this was a specific situation fine, but it seems in general ya'll wanna create social laws for women and only women to adhere to.
no isolation, both women and men are responsible, social laws go for both sexes. 

Originally Posted by TroyMcClure

leading people on is not cheating, it is actually called, leading people on.

most of the time, people are just leading themselves on anyway.

Just "be her friend" talk about %$!!, if you feel her enough, ask her on a date. You'll find out if she does or not at this point.

If she says she has a BF, then it's your choice whether she is worth it to be a friends or not after.

disagree. to lead someone on you have to know right off the bat that you are planning to not give that person anything.

I think people "see whats good" with a potential, consciously withold their relationship status, and then decide if they're gonna proceed or just draw the line 

if they proceed to cheat, then it is what it is.

but if they then proceed to draw the line and claiming their in a relationship, then it comes off as leading a person on. 

 

[Peep Game]

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by TroyMcClure

leading people on is not cheating, it is actually called, leading people on.

most of the time, people are just leading themselves on anyway.

Just "be her friend" talk about %$!!, if you feel her enough, ask her on a date. You'll find out if she does or not at this point.

If she says she has a BF, then it's your choice whether she is worth it to be a friends or not after.

This is completely subjective...but I think leading people on is cheating, even if you don't plan to do anything with them.
Cheating is anything you wouldn't do if your significant other knew about it. 

If you and sig-other are cool with open relationships, then thats a boundary you all set.

If you and sig-other are NOT cool with open relationships, then thats a boundary you all set.

That boundary was breached by engaging in certain types of conversation and actions with a third party or entity. 

Thats cheating.

There is no reason for an external factor to have that sort of access to a specific partner in a so called "committed" relationship with out there being any sort of intention.

I think cheating is a maturity thing...I understand the biological basis of how we force ourselves to be monogamous and what not, but lets call it what it is. 

You make a commitment. You broke it. 

Thats it.

Flirting = Cheating

You're commanding sexual attention and using it to interact with other people. Thats cheating. 

Some people decide when to call it off at different levels. Some don't mind flirting. Others wait until physical contact has been made.

Me personally? It would be HARD to deal with the fact that you mentally are not satisfied enough to want to turn down other attention from others. 

For me at least, emotional cheating is far worse than the physical.

With the physical, it was a done deal.

With the mental, its the constant secret agendas and mental slyness that weighs more heavily. 

OP, its totally disrespectful. Why? Her man is expected to alert to everyone that he is taken. AND why would she not be happy enough with her relationship to let others know? 

Shes waiting to tell others BECAUSE she knows others would change how they think of her. If it didn't matter, she wouldn't hesitate to let other people know.

Thats the ONLY reason people hold back information. Would you date me if you knew I had 6 fingers and toes on each hand? If it didn't matter, I wouldn't hesitate to tell you. Thats the point. 

It DOES matter to her and thats why she holds that information back.

Because then what happens? She finds someone she can kick it when and never reveals that she has a boyfriend. Then what? Does she go back to her boyfriend or does she keep her side-piece on lock? 

What benefit does she get from waiting to tell someone else?

Your girl is testing the waters. No doubt about it. 

 

[cap1229]

Flirting = cheating? Lmao

 

[since1987]

your SINGLE until your MARRIED...

/thread

 

[Peep Game]

Originally Posted by cap1229

Flirting = cheating? Lmao

U serious? Unless you are very good as toeing that line, it is.

 

[blakep267]

I understand what the OP is saying. I mean I see it all the time. Sure, I dont think id mind being friends with girls I talk to, but the main reason for me approaching is to try and get a date oout of it etc. Im not really trying to be your friend at fisrt. Id prefer if she slipped I had a boyfriend early on in the conversation, rather than me wasting time getting a number, chatting with her and then her saying it a week later.

 

[shoefreakbaby]

Originally Posted by SINce1987

your SINGLE until your MARRIED...

/thread

Yah a bunch of cheaters

 

[dvdjamm5150]