Funniest/ worst dates thread

[joepac12]

A friend of mine hooked me up with this girl a couple years ago....we texted for a few days and shorty seemed cool...however in person she talked too much about nothing and was slightly annoying...we ended up at the movies one day and she was annoying me with all the meaningless conversation....I excused myself during a fight scene under the pretense of using the bathroom and got into my car and left her *** in the movie. I knew after 15 min she would be calling or texting me so I turned off both my phones...lol...never saw or talked to her again...

 

[youngdoc]

Met this chick at a club when I was super wasted.

She was average at best but my drunk memory had placed her on a pedestal.

Took her out to Strip in Atlantic Station in Atlanta (this overpriced "hip" sushi joint) and dropped too much cash. Date was boring as hell and when I invited her back to the crib for drinks she gave me the Heisman. Never talked to her again after that. I hate getting dissed by average chicks . Doesn't even affect my confidence, just makes me angry

 

[joepac12]

Met this chick at a club when I was super wasted.
She was average at best but my drunk memory had placed her on a pedestal.
Took her out to Strip in Atlantic Station in Atlanta (this overpriced "hip" sushi joint) and dropped too much cash. Date was boring as hell and when I invited her back to the crib for drinks she gave me the Heisman. Never talked to her again after that. I hate getting dissed by average chicks . Doesn't even affect my confidence, just makes me angry

I actually know what u mean...I let average chicks who ain't with it stew in their own ignorance...thier loss at the end of the day not mine...

 

[BaltimoreLove]

I actually know what u mean...I let average chicks who ain't with it stew in their own ignorance...thier loss at the end of the day not mine...

l snow what you mean... lt feels batman

 

[BaltimoreLove]

the audacity to be an ugly ignorant *** and dlss me...

 

[golfalphabravoecho]

Long story short, I had recently got my first whip:

1982 Chevrolet Cavalier station wagon,

Not knowing anything about cars at the time, I invite my young lady friend to the movies.

It's hot, it rains. Guess who doesn't know anything about the defogger and spends every light with a T-Shirt wiping the condensation off of the winshield. (As cool as humanly possible of course.)

One missed movie and plate of bad chinese later, she decides to cut her losses and asks me to go ahead and take her home. We pack up the grub, grab our sodas and head out to the car, as I'm pulling off the transmission slips, when it catches the car jerks and shorties strawberry soda....? yeah.

Needless to say we never went out again, she actually quit working at the Papa Johns we were working at together. I actually never even saw that youngin again.

#FAIL

 

[tr1ll]

I don't have a long interesting story, but I went out with this chick from Jersey. She kept trying to freestyle the whole time. Chick was horrible, it was just us in the car, alone and I was embarrassed.

Totally ruined my boner.

 

[the nomad]

As a teen (14-15) a friend of mines hooks up with some girls from Long Island, they have a small party maybe 30 people or so and the mom had a stripper pole in the basement. Everyone is drunk and I end up hooking up with my boy's date best friend. After a make out session and a frequently interrupted "mic check", we decide to play twenty one questions until another couple were finished and pass out. 
The convo got deep and then, BLOAW my buddy busts in and said the girl's mom was coming down the street. It was scene out of Project X house was fugged more than 100 scattering through the streets.

I'm so thirst (14-15) we kiss each other goodbye and she says, just hide in the neighbors pool until the **** storm dies down and then sneak through the window to spend the night.
The yelling goes on for maybe 20 mins, cops were called and everything. It's quiet, so she texts me to come back. I climb through the window and get naked (still drunk and high) I slide under the sheets, kiss her ankle, then her thighs (O-M-G that smell I'll never forget), kiss her stomach and then her neck.

She wasn't saying anything and her hair appeared longer and fire red in the moon light (it was blond earlier), jokingly I say "stop pacing time wasting we in a house with a pole in the basement, I'm just kidding like Jason ...unless you gonna do it". Completely naked in between her legs and motorboating her and everything. THEN her nails gouge into my cheeks with one hand and there's a barrel of a gun in my cheeks mashing into my lips smudging against my teeth. A deeper much older voice says "well here's the pole I keep upstairs mother...!"

(Still in the dark) She's telling me get on my knees and she's calling the cops, I'm yelling I don't wanna die, she must've realized I was young and inches towards the light switch and flicks it on. "What are you doing in my house?" I thought you were Kragen ( the girl I met), she told me I could stay the night. By this time the girls bust in the door screaming, the gun goes off and I clutch my chest screaming, the carpet is smoking from the bullet. Girls QUICKLY explain everything. Still drunk I tell her "I came back for you" .... Mom yells "good now all three of you can get the **** out my house".  

The mom called a cab but none came out that late 4am, she let me sleep on the couch and she slept out there and felt bad for me. We became cool, I cut her grass and helped with yard work until I was like 18. Kragen has two kids now, stay at home mom. We all still hangout sometimes, mom included. Mom tried to smash when I was 21, couldn't get it up the first time because I was still traumatized. We did a few months later though, we haven't told anyone. Including her new fiancee.

 

[iblink]

As a teen (14-15) a friend of mines hooks up with some girls from Long Island, they have a small party maybe 30 people or so and the mom had a stripper pole in the basement. Everyone is drunk and I end up hooking up with my boy's date best friend. After a make out session and a frequently interrupted "mic check", we decide to play twenty one questions until another couple were finished and pass out. 

The convo got deep and then, BLOAW my buddy busts in and said the girl's mom was coming down the street. It was scene out of Project X house was fugged more than 100 scattering through the streets.


I'm so thirst (14-15) we kiss each other goodbye and she says, just hide in the neighbors pool until the **** storm dies down and then sneak through the window to spend the night.

The yelling goes on for maybe 20 mins, cops were called and everything. It's quiet, so she texts me to come back. I climb through the window and get naked (still drunk and high) I slide under the sheets, kiss her ankle, then her thighs (O-M-G that smell I'll never forget), kiss her stomach and then her neck.


She wasn't saying anything and her hair appeared longer and fire red in the moon light (it was blond earlier), jokingly I say "stop pacing time wasting we in a house with a pole in the basement, I'm just kidding like Jason ...unless you gonna do it". Completely naked in between her legs and motorboating her and everything. THEN her nails gouge into my cheeks with one hand and there's a barrel of a gun in my cheeks mashing into my lips smudging against my teeth. A deeper much older voice says "well here's the pole I keep upstairs mother...!"


(Still in the dark) She's telling me get on my knees and she's calling the cops, I'm yelling I don't wanna die, she must've realized I was young and inches towards the light switch and flicks it on. "What are you doing in my house?" I thought you were Kragen ( the girl I met), she told me I could stay the night. By this time the girls bust in the door screaming, the gun goes off and I clutch my chest screaming, the carpet is smoking from the bullet. Girls QUICKLY explain everything. Still drunk I tell her "I came back for you" .... Mom yells "good now all three of you can get the **** out my house". 


The mom called a cab but none came out that late 4am, she let me sleep on the couch and she slept out there and felt bad for me. We became cool, I cut her grass and helped with yard work until I was like 18. Kragen has two kids now, stay at home mom. We all still hangout sometimes, mom included. Mom tried to smash when I was 21, couldn't get it up the first time because I was still traumatized. We did a few months later though, we haven't told anyone. Including her new fiancee.

I lol'd. True or not

 

[joepac12]

U r one wild boy nomad haha....

 

[frshstunna]

My homeboy had me on a double date wit a big joint one time, basically got bamboozled into the whole thing ..... he hit me earlier that day tombout he got 2 chicks and they look aight, its summer time and i aint doing **** so im wit it....we supposed to be going to chill over them chicks house but we get there and its just one...im thinkin we ready to G shorty .....but nope we end up going down the street to pick her homegirl up...big girl come out thinkin she bad, got some heels on trying to walk all sexy and in slow motion and **** ...we eventually end up at red robins, shorty orders like 2 appetizers and a meal..when we done i get up for a sec but leave my money to pay for what i got, my mans tells the waitress me and him splitting the bill paying for every body smh...at that point im just mad n wanna go home, ended up leaving the 3 of em back at my homeboy house after car ride that seemed like forever with them ****

 

[shorty doo wop]

I spilled a drink on myself she found it hilarious of course

 

[joepac12]

My homeboy had me on a double date wit a big joint one time, basically got bamboozled into the whole thing ..... he hit me earlier that day tombout he got 2 chicks and they look aight, its summer time and i aint doing **** so im wit it....we supposed to be going to chill over them chicks house but we get there and its just one...im thinkin we ready to G shorty .....but nope we end up going down the street to pick her homegirl up...big girl come out thinkin she bad, got some heels on trying to walk all sexy and in slow motion and **** ...we eventually end up at red robins, shorty orders like 2 appetizers and a meal..when we done i get up for a sec but leave my money to pay for what i got, my mans tells the waitress me and him splitting the bill paying for every body smh...at that point im just mad n wanna go home, ended up leaving the 3 of em back at my homeboy house after car ride that seemed like forever with them ****

Name of said homeboy with the bad judgement ?? Lol

 

[frshstunna]

My homeboy had me on a double date wit a big joint one time, basically got bamboozled into the whole thing ..... he hit me earlier that day tombout he got 2 chicks and they look aight, its summer time and i aint doing **** so im wit it....we supposed to be going to chill over them chicks house but we get there and its just one...im thinkin we ready to G shorty .....but nope we end up going down the street to pick her homegirl up...big girl come out thinkin she bad, got some heels on trying to walk all sexy and in slow motion and **** ...we eventually end up at red robins, shorty orders like 2 appetizers and a meal..when we done i get up for a sec but leave my money to pay for what i got, my mans tells the waitress me and him splitting the bill paying for every body smh...at that point im just mad n wanna go home, ended up leaving the 3 of em back at my homeboy house after car ride that seemed like forever with them ****

Name of said homeboy with the bad judgement ?? Lol

Mane you know who used to be chubby chasin back in the day yo ..... i aint even try to snuzz shorty, had me walking up deanwood late as **** just to get away from the broad

 

[adobecs4]

My mom showed up asking what time she wanted to pick me up (We were at dinner) 

 Shortie was cool about it though 

 

[meazy]

In November I went to pick this broad that i had been talking to for awhile up to see a 7:30 movie..We get to the theater and the movie had already been playing for an hour..Shorty tells me to take her home and we can chill there..Went to her crib, things were kinda awkward being the first time hanging out so i made a move on her  and we start making out...end up smashing shorty on her couch watching tosh.0 then boom...Mom comes down catches us...Then walks back up...shortly lets me finish...then i peaced and rarely spoke to her since.

*Cliffs*

took girl on date to the movies.

ended up taking her home and her mom walks in on me and shorty smashing.

 

[jonathan93til]

i just met this girl when i was in high school you know the new friend start walking down the hallways and what not...

Ended becoming closer when we both joined a school extra curricular group.

one of the perks was a free nba game and just the two of us we spent the entire 5 hours in the city just with each other. Felt kinda bad she was dating a new homie but im not buggin. high school is full of that ****. Lunch on me like a gentleman and even got her a rose and dude who was sellin em was tryin to persuade her to hook me up with some pda s/o to that guy for tryin lol. She dint we both kinda new what we was doin to my new homeboy.

Later that night she tells me she wanted to kiss me and i fell hard. (fuggin up)

Cont'd w/ hs bs, where more games are played than a console system, she ended it with him and wanted to get wit it but said she couldnt cause my ex was her best friend and thad damage their friendship cause my ex still wanted some. ******** lol **** high school

 

[3900stabler]

So it's the spring of senior year in high school and my cousin decided to hook me up with a prom date. I think I'm doin somethin because she a freshman in college and I'm a senior in high school. He talkin her up and whatnot so I give her a call to set up a lunch so we can go over prom stuff. This is my first time seeing her in person so I'm excited and nervous at the same time. Anyway, the lunch date was set up for 1:00pm. I leave the house at 12:40 to give myself some time to get there first.

On the way to lunch I noticed I only had $10 on me so I make a quick dash to the atm. This particular day, the atm doesn't work. So now, I'm mad because I can't get money and I'm late. I don't get to the restaurant unitl 1:15. By this time, I'm thinking she left. Before I leave, I ask the hostess if there was a young lady who came alone a few minutes ago. She said yes and that there was this young lady at a booth around the corner.

I go around the corner to ask this young lady who she was. she told me her name all I could do was mentally give a big F U to my cousin. Man, he hooked me up with miss piggy. Chick had several spare tires. Anyway, shes talking about how excited she was for prom and I ain't even listening. I'm pissed. After I calm down some I ask her if she wants something to eat. That's the least I could do since I made her wait.

Anyway, she orders some chicken tenders, a drink and some fries. So I did some internal calculations and figured her bill to be about $9.50. Yall, why did I order some water!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!! Her total came to $9.73. I paid for her meal and we left. A few days later I told her I felt "comfortable" taking someone from my school to prom. I told her i would keep in touch but I aint seen or talked to her since.


Moral of the story: Don't go on blind dates.

 

[boys noize]

To this day, still the worst date I've ever been on.

Hung out with this chick in a group setting a couple times. Thought she was cute, asked her out on a date. Had a restaurant in the city with great seafood and a romantic dessert spot for after picked out and everything. Got to her apartment and she looked good. Got all dolled up and everything. I was feeling mad confident.

It all goes downhill from this point.

The car ride into San Francisco, normally 15 minutes, took damn near an hour due to an accident on the bridge. It was absurd. What ended up happening was we exhausted anything even remotely interesting to converse about in that hour. We were pretty different people and I knew that going into it but how widely our interests diverged was pretty incredible. We literally had nothing in common. Music, movies, books, hobbies, interests, etc. Nothing. We finally get to the restaurant and we spend another hour or so in there just... eating. It was awkward. Stop and go conversations. One word answers. Awkward laughter to fill in the spaces. We finish up dinner and, wanting to salvage the night, I told her there was this great dessert place down the street. We get there and it had closed ten minutes earlier. Drove her back to her pad and never saw or talked to her again.

 

[solefood229]

I had borrowed my boys hoopty it was a early 90's LTD, to take this girl I had been crushing on for a min, after a few days of talking I take her out on a date


When we pull up to the restaurant she gets out of the car first but leaves the door open because she dropped her chapstick, I throw the car in park and it rolls back and the open door hits ol girl and knocks her down I hop in the car and press the break, she was a trooper and shook it off


Dinner went fine we laughed and talked, I'm thinking I made up for the debacle earlier in the night, we leave the restaurant headed back to her crib to catch a movie, I take a right and the passenger door swings open, if she didn't have her seat belt on I promise she would have fell out of the car, we get the her house she tells me she has to get up early to babysit and I never talked to her again

 

[jbpkickz]

when i was 16 my mom boyfriend was tryna hook me up wit his neice so i went on a date wit her , but my mother boyfirend and the shorty dad was there and sat wit us, had the on the whole date, pops was grillin me , after we ate told shorty i would hit her phone

 

[joepac12]

Mane you know who used to be chubby chasin back in the day yo ..... i aint even try to snuzz shorty, had me walking up deanwood late as **** just to get away from the broad

No Bueno my friend lol....I know who u talkin bout haha

 

[iamyourfather]

my friend met a girl on "findapix" in the early 2000's... so a friend and i went along to a house party to be his wingmen aka to keep the girls sisters busy while he went upstairs to smash

we stay downstairs playing mario kart on n64 then after like 15 minutes we start groping and dry humping the 2 sisters. then my friend from upstairs runs downstairs like "we gota **** now"

so i run out with him with the bluest pair of balls ever and im like wtf happened bro... and he goes "it was salty"

and im like "what was salty"

"i went down on her and it was hella salty" 

he said he stopped and started gagging and spitting on the floor and she started asking him what was wrong and he started yelling at her asking her why she didnt shower beforehand.. and the yelling made her cry and he freaked out and ran off. then we started getting hate texts from the girls like "we're going to call our cousins and they're gona kill you mf'ers for what you did to her"

not my date but it was pretty disgusting finding out my boy ate some rancid clam

 

[onna]

hoooked up date, got halo halo, and was like what, andwas like what, than left. wasn't feelin it

 

[joepac12]

Hahaha rancid clam is funny