Funniest/ worst dates thread

[ballislife32688]

my friend met a girl on "findapix" in the early 2000's... so a friend and i went along to a house party to be his wingmen aka to keep the girls sisters busy while he went upstairs to smash

we stay downstairs playing mario kart on n64 then after like 15 minutes we start groping and dry humping the 2 sisters. then my friend from upstairs runs downstairs like "we gota **** now"
so i run out with him with the bluest pair of balls ever and im like wtf happened bro... and he goes "it was salty"
and im like "what was salty"
"i went down on her and it was hella salty" 
he said he stopped and started gagging and spitting on the floor and she started asking him what was wrong and he started yelling at her asking her why she didnt shower beforehand.. and the yelling made her cry and he freaked out and ran off. then we started getting hate texts from the girls like "we're going to call our cousins and they're gona kill you mf'ers for what you did to her"

not my date but it was pretty disgusting finding out my boy ate some rancid clam

 

[jbpkickz]

my friend met a girl on "findapix" in the early 2000's... so a friend and i went along to a house party to be his wingmen aka to keep the girls sisters busy while he went upstairs to smash

we stay downstairs playing mario kart on n64 then after like 15 minutes we start groping and dry humping the 2 sisters. then my friend from upstairs runs downstairs like "we gota **** now"
so i run out with him with the bluest pair of balls ever and im like wtf happened bro... and he goes "it was salty"
and im like "what was salty"
"i went down on her and it was hella salty" 
he said he stopped and started gagging and spitting on the floor and she started asking him what was wrong and he started yelling at her asking her why she didnt shower beforehand.. and the yelling made her cry and he freaked out and ran off. then we started getting hate texts from the girls like "we're going to call our cousins and they're gona kill you mf'ers for what you did to her"

not my date but it was pretty disgusting finding out my boy ate some rancid clam

disgusting bro :x funny tho too

 

[coolgraymemo]

when i was 16 my mom boyfriend was tryna hook me up wit his neice so i went on a date wit her , but my mother boyfirend and the shorty dad was there and sat wit us, had the on the whole date, pops was grillin me , after we ate told shorty i would hit her phone

You need to learn how to use periods.

 

[jbpkickz]

when i was 16 my mom boyfriend was tryna hook me up wit his neice so i went on a date wit her , but my mother boyfirend and the shorty dad was there and sat wit us, had the on the whole date, pops was grillin me , after we ate told shorty i would hit her phone

You need to learn how to use periods.

i got commas fool

 

[coolgraymemo]

Commas aren't the same as periods.

 

[jbpkickz]

Commas aren't the same as periods.

i kno, saul good tho, i aint no auther

 

[coolgraymemo]

i kno, saul good tho, i aint no auther

i ain't eem mad.

 

[bendover]

I knew this girl from high school, we lost touch, then saw each other on the bus and hit it off.
I asked her to dinner a few days later. When we got there she was going on about how HUNGRY she was.
I ordered a plate and then she order 2 appetizers and 3 dishes. i hit her with the

 but she kept going on about how HUNGRY she was.
Chick didnt even finish one plate and took everything to go.
I found out later that her moms was out of town and i guess that was going to be her food for the whole week lol
She was a thin girl too, chick played me for some food. smh lol

 

[tr1ll]

Moral of the story: Don't go on blind dates. Theres no good to come from a college freshman thats willing to a prom with a HS senior.

I understand, doe. You was young, dumb and ambitious.

my friend met a girl on "findapix" in the early 2000's... so a friend and i went along to a house party to be his wingmen aka to keep the girls sisters busy while he went upstairs to smash



we stay downstairs playing mario kart on n64 then after like 15 minutes we start groping and dry humping the 2 sisters. then my friend from upstairs runs downstairs like "we gota **** now"

so i run out with him with the bluest pair of balls ever and im like wtf happened bro... and he goes "it was salty"

and im like "what was salty"

"i went down on her and it was hella salty"

he said he stopped and started gagging and spitting on the floor and she started asking him what was wrong and he started yelling at her asking her why she didnt shower beforehand.. and the yelling made her cry and he freaked out and ran off. then we started getting hate texts from the girls like "we're going to call our cousins and they're gona kill you mf'ers for what you did to her"



not my date but it was pretty disgusting finding out my boy ate some rancid clam

Ewww pissy P. :x

 

[jm9312]

Rancid clam!?!?! i spit water all over my screen

 

[airthompson]

Jumpmankd was it that serious not to tlk to her anymore tho?

I remember in HS I took this girl out to Hollywood and we hit it off. So we walking to the movie theater in Highland and I go to put my arm around her and I accidently put my hand right on her boob, thinking it was her shoulder, and squeeze it. She was pissed off, but we were cool at the end of the day.

 

[tr1ll]

Bruh...

How you confuse a shoulder with a boob, doe?

 

[joepac12]

I asked this girl out from my statistics class last year. We went to Chilli's and she couldn't drink because she wasn't 21 yet (junior in college) but she insisted that I order 2-for-1 specials so she could "sneak" drinks when the waitress wasn't looking We get in my car to go back to campus after and a I'm Me by Lil Wayne comes on XM radio, she goes "OMG I LOVE DRAKE" :x Dropped her off and never talked to her again, I stopped going to that class just to avoid her dumb self. I got a C-

This is something I would have done....I can't tolerate foolishness lol

 

[joepac12]

Anyone ever chill wit a girl and she looks good da first time y'all chill . Then after that she looks busted...happened to me in high school...guess shorty only had one good outfit..wearing knock off nike running shoes with just "air" on the side is a quick way to never get a call or txt again

 

[hotttshot34]

-Met this girl online
-She would never seem to give me straight up pics, always had that "myspace angle" look to the pics, but I shook it off thinking she being real
-We meet up at the movie theatre, and she ends up being huge and I'm a tiny skinny guy
-Now I'm back tracking in my mind, "What do I do to get out of this?"
-Text my buddy, I tell him the situation and tell him to call my phone and pretend hes my dad and that something serious happened in the family so I would have to leave her
-Well he doesn't answer right away, like 10 min after sending the text, he calls me.
- Well him being the smart*** he is, starts trying to deviate from the plan and make me laugh and joke around on the phone
-I had to improvise and fake that it was my dad, and make up a story that my dog was really ill and I had to get home :x


Learned my lesson from meeting girls online.

 

[iamyourfather]

the first time i smashed a girl i accidently bought non lubricated rubbers. and when i open it theres hella powder on them and sh#$%#$%... i tried putting it on anyway and it hurt my wiener so i ended smashing raw. i was so scared i was gona get all the std's and get her pregnant that i didnt even enjoy it

 

[beh235]

Some of you really need to learn how to type in English so people can read. I swear I'm reading and it's like talking to Boomhauer trying to understand the stories.

 

[jbpkickz]

Anyone ever chill wit a girl and she looks good da first time y'all chill . Then after that she looks busted...happened to me in high school...guess shorty only had one good outfit..wearing knock off nike running shoes with just "air" on the side is a quick way to never get a call or txt again

this , i try not to be shallow but i cant date somebody that is busted i mean u aint gotta be fresh but fake baby phat , nope nope naw

 

[beh235]

I asked this girl out from my statistics class last year. We went to Chilli's and she couldn't drink because she wasn't 21 yet (junior in college) but she insisted that I order 2-for-1 specials so she could "sneak" drinks when the waitress wasn't looking We get in my car to go back to campus after and a I'm Me by Lil Wayne comes on XM radio, she goes "OMG I LOVE DRAKE" :x Dropped her off and never talked to her again, I stopped going to that class just to avoid her dumb self. I got a C-

Give yourself an F for that situation tho

 

[airthompson]

Bruh...
How you confuse a shoulder with a boob, doe?

I know, imagine how I felt.

But Im 5'9 shes 4'11 so I was over her. Still a big L reguardless tho

 

[airthompson]

the first time i smashed a girl i accidently bought non lubricated rubbers. and when i open it theres hella powder on them and sh#$%#$%... i tried putting it on anyway and it hurt my wiener so i ended smashing raw. i was so scared i was gona get all the std's and get her pregnant that i didnt even enjoy it

You shouldve got some lotion or spit on that motha.

 

[joepac12]

-Met this girl online
-She would never seem to give me straight up pics, always had that "myspace angle" look to the pics, but I shook it off thinking she being real
-We meet up at the movie theatre, and she ends up being huge and I'm a tiny skinny guy
-Now I'm back tracking in my mind, "What do I do to get out of this?"
-Text my buddy, I tell him the situation and tell him to call my phone and pretend hes my dad and that something serious happened in the family so I would have to leave her
-Well he doesn't answer right away, like 10 min after sending the text, he calls me.
- Well him being the smart*** he is, starts trying to deviate from the plan and make me laugh and joke around on the phone
-I had to improvise and fake that it was my dad, and make up a story that my dog was really ill and I had to get home :x
Learned my lesson from meeting girls online.

I just pictured y'all walking together looking like the number 10 lol

 

[joepac12]

this , i try not to be shallow but i cant date somebody that is busted i mean u aint gotta be fresh but fake baby phat , nope nope naw

Haha fake baby phat....I once turned down a chick cuz she had on house of Derion shorts. Way too much gold trimming in the back SMh

 

[User 37837]

dude with the non lub joints

 

[deadstockk]

- in grade 10, i noticed a cute shorty in the halls.

- found out she was 2 years younger (grade

- spit game, get her number

- call her up talk for a bit, phone reception starts cuttin' out.

- not being able to hear me she says: "what did you said? what did you said?"

- after hearing that my expression was:

- made up an excuse and never spoke to her again.

- found out she was held back in grade 8 cause she failed so many times... smh.