How do you balance telling someone what they need to hear vs what they want to hear?

[kingkoopa]

I’ve always been called a good listener and I’m constantly listening to peoples problems.

I’m don’t judge but I listen.

But I’m actually starting to feel resentment about it.

Some of the people I’m dealing with I know it’ll be a falling out if I tell them how I really feel about the situation but I keep quiet.

Am I right or wrong?

 

[finessence]

Depends on personality, length of friendship, etc.

I try to make SUGGESTIONS instead of preaching. Ultimately a person is going to do what’s best for them.

I’ve learned that it’s not my job to save the world. It takes to much energy to try and help, help, help.

Do the best you can and wish the best everyone. You know your heart

 

[elpablo21]

Ask questions and present a perspective that they might be blind to. I feel like that's one way I present something it that opens up dialogue

That might end up leading to a blunt response anyways but the slow build up can help folks process a different idea or opinion they weren't catching at first or refused to see ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[kingkoopa]

Ultimately a person is going to do what’s best for them.

My curse is knowing people.

And people will NOT do what’s best for them.

 

[HarlemShakeStory]

People usually do what is easiest/most convenient for them.

If someone is asking you for advice, give it to them. If they just want to vent, let them vent or tell them you can’t deal with it right now.

 

[executive76]

If holding your tongue bothers you stop listening. Don't be a dumping ground for this type of person.

 

[sooperhooper]

Sometimes there's no perfect answer. Either decision gets you dirty.

 

[1995]

I like to use "do you want a nice answer or an honest answer" which is basically code for "you're not gonna like what I really have to say"

Kind of has a disarming effect and they NEVER choose the nice answer

 

[picasso swerve]

People just want someone to maybe agree with them even a bit just to justify whatever they already wanna do. I woudnt pick apart what they wanna do, but analyze it say the pros and cons and then suggest what you might do. You can be as blunt or beat around the bush a bit but I think the big thing is dont dismiss what they wanna do, just like I said pros and cons. Theyre gonna pick and choose anyway what to take from it, like others said already they are gonna do what they want to ultimately anyways.

 

[jape]

i do not give advice unless they are seeking advice otherwise there’s no point. if it’s something vital that they need to hear now i make the exception.

you know which people in life who actually want to hear and respect your input and then who everyone else is.

 

[youngthundercat]

Old school saying…you get what you put up with. I would’ve stopped that foolishness early.

 

[Mark Antony]

Is that really your role though? If you don't want it you're going to have to say so. I'm not that person, but i'm the person for that person (not everyone) because I know they need someone.

 

[moderndarwin]

Most people are unwilling to make even the smallest changes to their day to day life so offering advice is a meaningless activity in futility. I’ve learned it’s better to just listen and have fun in the convo - a large part of conversing is people getting out an emotion about something like fear, inadequacy, etc - so they can move on (but not change for some other result).

When people want to make a real change they’ll stop asking advice, shut their mouth and take action themselves. One of those if you can’t make the effort to make your bed you’re probably not going to change the world sort of things.

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

LIE

 

[eracism]

Take the Phil Jackson approach. No timeout. Let them figure it out.

 

[stay lurkin]

I feel like everyone in here is right. Which is the issue/makes it more confusing

 

[Nereyda Vuelve Por Dios]

I use to be like you. Very attentive and a great ear for someone to just vent.

Then it became where ppl did stupid and counter productive things, and expected a empathy.

I started to be blunt with my truth about thier actions. And how hurtful and selfish they are. These ppl were just not on my wavelength in regards of progressing in life.

I cant say whether my harsh approach and there regression or stagnation, caused a rift. But it did.

Prepare yourself to be let off the hook
Of that responsibility. And its okay.

 

[wayniac211]

Take the Phil Jackson approach. No timeout. Let them figure it out.

sometimes in chaos we find a solution

 

[MakeNTGreatAgain]

i have struggle wit dis with people i love