My man, I need you to realize that everything you think is a big deal is only a big deal in the bubble you have built for yourself. Happiness is truly a choice and a skill. It should come from the inside, not from external factors. It's time to look at yourself from the outside-in (out of the bubble). I want to say a lot more, but I have to get going. Just read this, and wanted to let you know everything you are going through many people have gone through already. Things WILL get better. Feel free to PM me. I am in LA. I wish you the best.