**LA LAKERS THREAD** Sitting on 17! 2023-2024 offseason begins

[oh you mad]

 

[oh you mad]

I got two ideas.. hear me out.

Bruh..

 

[jiffyl00b]

If Jalen is right. Cool. Bout time we get this over with.

If he's wrong, I'm here for the slander.

 

[bballkid11]

Jalen said 99% hrs going back to raps on 2+1

I doubt it. Ppl just spewing bs

 

[thasoleful1]

I got two ideas.. hear me out.’

Bruh you wildin’

 

[scofosho]

All these reporters and talking heads say one thing, then say right after “I don’t know how true this is, but that’s what people are telling me”. I’m tired of this. I’ve tuned out at this point. No one knows anything. All we can do is wait. At least his last meeting happened or is happening. There’s only his decision to wait for now.

Also Lakers need to grab up Korver

 

[oh you mad]

Maybe he's proofreading his Players Tribune article?

 

[Lizakers]

Welp

Time to trade for Dragic

 

[scofosho]

How are all these people 99% sure Kawhi going to every single team smh. They just want the clicks and attention

 

[drewsone]

Nobody knows anything y’all
Stephen A and Broussard 99% lakers
Jalen 99% Toronto
Woj 99% clippers

 

[DLF]

I got two ideas.. hear me out. I got a Postmates bag n shirt.. we can go pick up some tacos from tacos el gordo n some carne asada fries from lolitas. If theys a guard we tell them we got a delivery for this addy. He’s gon be hesitant but that’s why we buy extra tacos n tell him hey man we accidentally bought extra.. here’s 6 adobada tacos for you and a horchata. Dude will be like say less n let us in. Then from there it’s no problem

Second idea. This one requires a little more effort but very doable. Hear me out.
1.

First step. We pull up to the community church. Idk wtf presbyteries is but we dress up like them. We gotta look inconspicuous. Act like we attending church ainn nobody gonna expect nothin.

2.

I found this opening in the same parking lot of the church. It’s a break in the fencing. Everything else is blocked off. So what we do is we casually walk through that opening. Make sure nobody sees us.

Remember if we get caught we need an alibi. The alibi is we were flying a drone after church service (one of us gotta look like and talk like and dress like the pastor).. say our drone got lost in the jungle and we lookin for it.. very believable. Doesn’t look like we up to no good. Just some people tryna find they lost property.. hell maybe those people start helpin us too who knows

3.

This is the route we’re taking. It is the optimal route. We need to weave in and out so we seek cover from the trees. We cannot be seen. This is a good way to be stealth. Learned this from uncharted 4

4.

This is where the route is gonna take us... this is where we don’t wanna go.. we cannot risk getting in from the front. We gotta find another route. Too easy to get caught or be seen if someone’s leaving or pulling up.

5.

So now we walk the perimeter of the house.. making sure we stay hidden in the trees. We follow the path in red. We time it perfectly and run a cross the street and hide in the other trees. Their views would be obstructed from trees so we’re good. just need to make sure the neighbors also don’t see us

6.

Now we’re hidden in these trees. We made it. The key is not to be cocky. Gotta remain alert and vigilant. Make sure no house pets on the property. Make sure no security. Based on 3D and 2D mapping we should be by a hall way that leads to the main house. Gotta be very nimble here and quiet. We go over our alibi one last time.

7.

This where we gonna be near but around the corner. Matches up exactly with the satellite images I pulled. Make sure nobody outside and we move to the next post.

8.

Once we enter from the pool side this is what we’ll encounter. It is important to be familiar with the layout for any reason. For an extraction plan or for entrance. It’s a long hallway and connects the outside house to the middle house (****in rich people)... doubt anyone is hanging out here.. so now we split up. One person takes that first right.. the other goes long. Gotta reduces our chances of getting caught

9.

This where we meet up.. both halls eventually end up to the living room then the kitchen. Now we wait here in the kitchen with our lolitas and tacos el gordo.. get a drink from the fridge maybe some simply lemonade for that work

Kawhi walks in obviously startled like wtf is these two church *****s doin in my kitchen. Obviously he can’t pass up tacos and he’ll sit down and join us. I don’t want it to get physical so keep the strap away unless we really need to bounce out with that 44. Anyways we sit him down for an interrogation. Tell him the usual. We’re not here to hurt you we just want information. If he complies there will be no issue. Tell him he has al pastor tacos and a horchata waiting for his cooperation... he’ll be sold at al pastor. He’ll divulge the info. Now if he says anything but the lakers is when we consider pulling out the glizzy but that’s for a different plan. For now this the blueprint

So for any *****s who is down for a road trip lmk. I’m 100% dead *** serious to carpool. We can do it tomorrow. At the minimum we eating tacos so nothin to lose. I know half of y’all got no jobs so we got nothin to lose. DM for more info or if you’re interested

Easily the post of the decade. I’m officially ok if kawhi doesn’t come here

 

[drewsone]

My guy @fayetnam the wildest dude in here

 

[WAKKO!]

Knick fans saying he might just surprise everyone and sign with them

 

[pmatic]

Wut

 

[pmatic]

Korver can't play in the playoffs but he'd be helpful during the regular season.

 

[jiffyl00b]

I don't think he waits for Kawhi

 

[dceja]

My sources are telling me that I’m 99% sure jalen is a clown with no intel

 

[BIG FISH]

My sources are telling me that I’m 99% sure jalen is a clown with no intel

He was the first one to report that Kawhi wanted out of San Antonio

 

[drewsone]

I think we may have lost boys lol

 

[BIG FISH]

I think we may have lost boys lol

Where do they go from here lol

Still don’t see why he dragged this out just to go back to Toronto, has any marquee FA ever done that?

 

[DLF]

Ya I’m 90 percent sure he’s going to Toronto for a 1+1. He’ll stay the 2 years if he likes how next year goes and then he’ll reup for the crazy super max.

 

[evilhag]

 

[DLF]

I wouldn’t go all 1 year contracts for the rest of our 32 mill and wouldn’t wait on kawhi or count on him Next summer. He screwed us (not on purpose) by waiting so long. We can still win with Bron and AD, Bron just has to play harder now and coaching gotta be perfect to try our best to coast through season.

 

[HIM]

erupt’s odds:

Raptors EVEN
Lakers +350
Clippers +500


DM me with bets

 

[drewsone]

Where do they go from here lol

Still don’t see why he dragged this out just to go back to Toronto, has any marquee FA ever done that?

Paul George lol

And lakers can still sign people like boogie or something won’t be the worst but idk

After this Toronto meeting A LOT of stuff happening and turning of the tide a bit lol

Heard that their last pitch was better than their first one