Last Time You Crapped Yourself? Vol.Mudbutt

[dablackfrankwhi]

On the day LBJ hazelnuts released I was having a bad stomach virus not to mention metformin my diabetes medication makes you go something bad. I farted and air wasn't the only thing that came out

 

[illwill8710]

The last few leg exercises have been dangerous. Every rep I pray that it isn't the big one.

 

[airblaster503]

The other day I was with my family driving back from the coast. For those of you that don't know, there is a small Mountain range here in Oregon between the coast and the Valley where most live and there is nothing there. The feeling came on like a storm, had to get them to pull off on a side road and literally was scrambling to find a place, one side of the road was a 15 ft drop to a creek and the other was a steep incline into a forest. Thought for sure I could get up there and lean up against a tree but made it almost to the tree line about up and slid back down, to steep and wet. Ended up having to lean up against a telephone pole right on the side of the road. To top it off as soon as I dropped down the mudpie a car was coming head on in my direction. Had enough time for a quick wipe with Kleenex then pulled up my pants and acted like I was looking for something as they came by. Could hear my family laughing hysterically the entire time this was happening as well

 

[minotauro nogueira]

WOW! forgot i had another story....

So we're at the mall enjoying a nice meal of tacobell before we watch Pirates on the big screen. I get my usual 3-4 soft tacos and some queso nachos with a side of chips. My bro wasn't feeling taco bell so he copped McDunalds instead (smart for him). My other bro gets Taco Bell with me. So i'm there munching down like crazy and washing it all down with endless baja blast. I felt so baja blasted after and was on a good mood and ready to watch the movie. I had my white shirt, Reverse Champion Jordan jersey, jorts, and my VIIIs (circa 03-04 to clear the jorts). I'm feeling so boss and fresh headed to the theaters. THEN the rustling begins. My phobia for public pooping at the time was at an all time high. So their's no way pooping in public was gonna ruin my day. So i clinch my abs and tighten my butt cheeks. The doodoo wasn't having it. So I gave in and decided to poop in a public bathroom. I asked my bro to assist me (I was about 10-11 at the time, and was unexperienced in public pooping). So I planned my route to the most discreet bathroom in the mall; the men's room in the 3rd floor of macy's, the only 3rd floor in the mall where all the bed accessories, baby attire, and cooking products were located which means ultimate privacy and no people. I was wrong, plenty of people in the bathroom which made me more scared causing my doors to open, but i made it just in time to the toilet. So the poop comes drizzling out like warm soft serve with the color of corn meal :x . Smelt tremendous, but it was a clean act in my public pooping resume. WRONG! As i pulled my clothing up, I SAW A GLOB OF CORN-MEAL-ESQUE POOP ON THE BACK OF MY JORTS!!!! I was so scared and didn't want anyone to see. So i asked my bro to hand me plenty of wet paper towels under the stall door, so i could scrub it off. My bro was cuz he just wanted to go to watch the movie already. So as i head out of the stall, my bro screeches "WAS THAT?!?!?!?!" ..... It was a little clump of yellow doodoo soft serve on the back of my jersey. Because it was yellow and super embarassing, i said: "Naw that's nachos from earlier" . IDK if no one ever knew....

 

[sreggie101]

WOW! forgot i had another story....

So we're at the mall enjoying a nice meal of tacobell before we watch Pirates on the big screen. I get my usual 3-4 soft tacos and some queso nachos with a side of chips. My bro wasn't feeling taco bell so he copped McDunalds instead (smart for him). My other bro gets Taco Bell with me. So i'm there munching down like crazy and washing it all down with endless baja blast. I felt so baja blasted after and was on a good mood and ready to watch the movie. I had my white shirt, Reverse Champion Jordan jersey, jorts, and my VIIIs (circa 03-04 to clear the jorts). I'm feeling so boss and fresh headed to the theaters. THEN the rustling begins. My phobia for public pooping at the time was at an all time high. So their's no way pooping in public was gonna ruin my day. So i clinch my abs and tighten my butt cheeks. The doodoo wasn't having it. So I gave in and decided to poop in a public bathroom. I asked my bro to assist me (I was about 10-11 at the time, and was unexperienced in public pooping). So I planned my route to the most discreet bathroom in the mall; the men's room in the 3rd floor of macy's, the only 3rd floor in the mall where all the bed accessories, baby attire, and cooking products were located which means ultimate privacy and no people. I was wrong, plenty of people in the bathroom which made me more scared causing my doors to open, but i made it just in time to the toilet. So the poop comes drizzling out like warm soft serve with the color of corn meal :x . Smelt tremendous, but it was a clean act in my public pooping resume. WRONG! As i pulled my clothing up, I SAW A GLOB OF CORN-MEAL-ESQUE POOP ON THE BACK OF MY JORTS!!!! I was so scared and didn't want anyone to see. So i asked my bro to hand me plenty of wet paper towels under the stall door, so i could scrub it off. My bro was cuz he just wanted to go to watch the movie already. So as i head out of the stall, my bro screeches "WAS THAT?!?!?!?!" ..... It was a little clump of yellow doodoo soft serve on the back of my jersey. Because it was yellow and super embarassing, i said: "Naw that's nachos from earlier" . IDK if no one ever knew....

WTF LMFAO YOU ROLLED OUT WITH **** STAINED CLOTHES


you nasty b

 

[sooperhooper]

Son what did you do for it to get on your shorts and shirt?

 

[mynameismyname]

WOW! forgot i had another story....

So we're at the mall enjoying a nice meal of tacobell before we watch Pirates on the big screen. I get my usual 3-4 soft tacos and some queso nachos with a side of chips. My bro wasn't feeling taco bell so he copped McDunalds instead (smart for him). My other bro gets Taco Bell with me. So i'm there munching down like crazy and washing it all down with endless baja blast. I felt so baja blasted after and was on a good mood and ready to watch the movie. I had my white shirt, Reverse Champion Jordan jersey, jorts, and my VIIIs (circa 03-04 to clear the jorts). I'm feeling so boss and fresh headed to the theaters. THEN the rustling begins. My phobia for public pooping at the time was at an all time high. So their's no way pooping in public was gonna ruin my day. So i clinch my abs and tighten my butt cheeks. The doodoo wasn't having it. So I gave in and decided to poop in a public bathroom. I asked my bro to assist me (I was about 10-11 at the time, and was unexperienced in public pooping). So I planned my route to the most discreet bathroom in the mall; the men's room in the 3rd floor of macy's, the only 3rd floor in the mall where all the bed accessories, baby attire, and cooking products were located which means ultimate privacy and no people. I was wrong, plenty of people in the bathroom which made me more scared causing my doors to open, but i made it just in time to the toilet. So the poop comes drizzling out like warm soft serve with the color of corn meal

. Smelt tremendous, but it was a clean act in my public pooping resume. WRONG! As i pulled my clothing up, I SAW A GLOB OF CORN-MEAL-ESQUE POOP ON THE BACK OF MY JORTS!!!! I was so scared

and didn't want anyone to see. So i asked my bro to hand me plenty of wet paper towels under the stall door, so i could scrub it off. My bro was

cuz he just wanted to go to watch the movie already. So as i head out of the stall, my bro screeches "WAS THAT?!?!?!?!" ..... It was a little clump of yellow doodoo soft serve on the back of my jersey. Because it was yellow and super embarassing, i said: "Naw that's nachos from earlier" . IDK if no one ever knew....

So you left the restroom with doo doo all on your jersey and shorts? 

For me the last time was like 4 years ago when I got food poisoning, I was sleeping and suddenly woke up to puke and it was that puke where you finish all your stomach fluids and its just bile 

. So I go back to my bed and knockout, maybe an hr passes and woke up again with the feeling of throwing up as I put my hand to lift myself off the bed I feel something wet under my hand. I hop out and look at my bed and and it was everywhere, my sheets, my blanket, even on me I had rolled around it and everything. Went to go puke and shower and this happened another 2 times in the same night worse night of my life 

 

[sreggie101]

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