Mature NT'ers Enter Vol. Is it possible to be friends with an ex?

[late80s]

Originally Posted by ProduccionFrescos

Originally Posted by Late80s

Originally Posted by ProduccionFrescos

Originally Posted by Late80s

no, if you would have properly settled the issues you guys and had something to offer eachother you would still be together. not to mention once you have crossed sex line theres no turning back you cant revert to friendship, the whole dynamic has changed. friendship is simply not possible, youre kidding yourself if you think it is.

[color= rgb(255, 0, 0)]The sad thing is, you're stating your opinion as if it's fact. Anyway, that's not true at all. My ex and I are good friends. When we hang out, sure we kiss and stuff, but she knows I'm not her "bf" and she's not my "gf"... The only thing that made us break up was my lack of communication (which is the cause of almost every relationship I was in..bad habit) but we're cool now.. then again, it's not like we weren't cool w/ each other from the break up.

[/color]

because im right thats not being friends.

[color= rgb(255, 0, 0)]What constitutes as friendship IYO? FTR, I wasn't throwing shots at you in any way, I just think it's stupid to state your opinion as you did.[/color]

Originally Posted by JWM

after my break up with my ex i never thought we would ever talk again, but now we are the best of friends

[color= rgb(255, 0, 0)]Same here.. and that goes for several females I used to be "involved" with. How can you not be cool with someone you once went out with? You realize what went wrong and joke about it..[/color]

you stated your opinion in nearly the same way. if you can kiss her thats a slippery slope, as in you slip your tongue, you slip your !$*$, andyou done slipped up and got feelings involved. you dont kiss your other female friends i hope, thats not a friendship thats a deposit on a %*%! when you needit.

 

[sneakerking757]

Originally Posted by fraij da 5 11

Of course it is.

 

[mrsneakerman]

My and my ex are cool. At first we ain't speak but then we cleared things up and now we straight. It took awhile but it happened.

 

[DeadsetAce]

no

 

[capricorn1229]

I don't think so but that's my opinion. Add some drinks or whatever to the equation and things could go terribly, TERRIBLY wrong one night. Let it fadeto black until you are sure you have moved and even then step with caution.

 

[crumbs]

once you have sex with someone you care/cared for ...just friends is never a possibility

 

[eight2one]

there is only one ex im like that with....the rest dont want nothing to do with me.

 

[blackmagnus514]

just visit your exxes MS FB Twtr etc....and read their status, headlines, names, comments, top friends, pics....

, and you'll get that lil extra heartbeat where u lose a slight breath...lol

 

[produccionfrescos]

Originally Posted by Late80s

Originally Posted by ProduccionFrescos

Originally Posted by Late80s

Originally Posted by ProduccionFrescos

Originally Posted by Late80s

no, if you would have properly settled the issues you guys and had something to offer eachother you would still be together. not to mention once you have crossed sex line theres no turning back you cant revert to friendship, the whole dynamic has changed. friendship is simply not possible, youre kidding yourself if you think it is.

[color= rgb(255, 0, 0)]The sad thing is, you're stating your opinion as if it's fact. Anyway, that's not true at all. My ex and I are good friends. When we hang out, sure we kiss and stuff, but she knows I'm not her "bf" and she's not my "gf"... The only thing that made us break up was my lack of communication (which is the cause of almost every relationship I was in..bad habit) but we're cool now.. then again, it's not like we weren't cool w/ each other from the break up.

[/color]

because im right thats not being friends.

[color= rgb(255, 0, 0)]What constitutes as friendship IYO? FTR, I wasn't throwing shots at you in any way, I just think it's stupid to state your opinion as you did.[/color]

you stated your opinion in nearly the same way. if you can kiss her thats a slippery slope, as in you slip your tongue, you slip your !$*$, and you done slipped up and got feelings involved. you dont kiss your other female friends i hope, thats not a friendship thats a deposit on a %*%! when you need it.

[color= rgb(255, 0, 0)]I'm a pretty open minded person, I guess that's another way to look at it (though Idon't necessarily see it that way) Different perspectives are appreciated though ... but hey, great justification to your original post.. can't arguethat.[/color]

just visit your exxes MS FB Twtr etc....and read their status, headlines, names, comments, top friends, pics....

, and you'll get that lil extra heartbeat where u lose a slight breath...lol

 

[de phx jose]

Originally Posted by Oprah Winfrey

Originally Posted by Late80s

no, if you would have properly settled the issues you guys and had something to offer eachother you would still be together. not to mention once you have crossed sex line theres no turning back you cant revert to friendship, the whole dynamic has changed. friendship is simply not possible, youre kidding yourself if you think it is.

Thats how I feel.

It just feels really awkward talking to her as a "friend" and I don't want to re-catch feelings for someone that I absolutely hate as a person.

why would you wanna be, or even think of, having her as a friend..

 

[ramzs8906]

Originally Posted by HarlemKickDiva

Yes, me and mine are bff's. Just depends on how it ended...

We have a very amicable split with no hard feelings...can't fake we argue more now than we did...but it's all in fun

We care about eachothers well-being and as long as the boundaries are set and we are mature about it we will always be friends

It's different for most females than it does for most males. A lot of females think its easy for a a guy to be best friends with his ex (I'm a specialcase, I have pretty good relationships with all of mine; then again I think with my upper head and not the lower) but its not. That's just my opinionthough.

OP its possible, but she is forever in the aquaintance zone, I honestly don't think you can be BFs with your ex, but its very possible to be cordial.

 

[mf doomer]

It highly depends, when I say highly I mean it.

Where you are with her matters, like for instance, if you could practically smash at any given time regardless of her relationship status. Or, perhaps she mayhave some friends.

Personally, I use them for connects with parties, girls friends that they know ... It's tricky when an ex has a boyfriend, dude may wild out.

 

[i drink your milkshake]

Originally Posted by Late80s

Originally Posted by I Drink Your Milkshake

me and one of my exes are cool as %@+@....stayed wit' him when I was in the A and he showed me around and everything. I'm almost certain he's not tryna get back in so yes, I think it is possible to be friends with an ex.

if you made it available he would take it.

that's wit' any male friend....c'mon now

That's just apart of the territory/game of being friends with a guy.

 

[kix4kix]

Originally Posted by I Drink Your Milkshake

Originally Posted by Late80s

Originally Posted by I Drink Your Milkshake

me and one of my exes are cool as %@+@....stayed wit' him when I was in the A and he showed me around and everything. I'm almost certain he's not tryna get back in so yes, I think it is possible to be friends with an ex.

if you made it available he would take it.

that's wit' any male friend....c'mon now

That's just apart of the territory/game of being friends with a guy.

Sorry to break it to ya, but If a guy wants to smash at any given chance how is he truly your friend?

 

[sneakpeak]

I'm in a similar situation. Me and my ex have been "trying" to be friends, butttttt on the real...it is a weird and difficult thing to doespecially since we just recently ended things at the beginning of the year. I've come to realize that being friends with this dude is not possible rightnow because the situation is still a bit fresh. Maybe we can be friends later on, but that concept just seems wack because of the history we have. I thinkbeing friends really depends on where you both stand with how you feel towards each other. It is possible, I've seen it happen, but do you really want thatback in your life? I mean...do you think you're better off without her? If you still think she is a "demon seed" I saaaaay leave that alone.

 

[chr1sb]

personally, no.

 

[late80s]

Originally Posted by kix4kix

Originally Posted by I Drink Your Milkshake

Originally Posted by Late80s

Originally Posted by I Drink Your Milkshake

me and one of my exes are cool as %@+@....stayed wit' him when I was in the A and he showed me around and everything. I'm almost certain he's not tryna get back in so yes, I think it is possible to be friends with an ex.

if you made it available he would take it.

that's wit' any male friend....c'mon now

That's just apart of the territory/game of being friends with a guy.

Sorry to break it to ya, but If a guy wants to smash at any given chance how is he truly your friend?

couldnt have said it better myself

 

[oprah winfrey]

Originally Posted by sneakpeak

I'm in a similar situation. Me and my ex have been "trying" to be friends, butttttt on the real...it is a weird and difficult thing to do especially since we just recently ended things at the beginning of the year. I've come to realize that being friends with this dude is not possible right now because the situation is still a bit fresh. Maybe we can be friends later on, but that concept just seems wack because of the history we have. I think being friends really depends on where you both stand with how you feel towards each other. It is possible, I've seen it happen, but do you really want that back in your life? I mean...do you think you're better off without her? If you still think she is a "demon seed" I saaaaay leave that alone.

She is a demon seed, but I was fornicating with her for 3 years so it makes things complicated and confusing. I think she knows this and just takes advantage,she's told me that she's lonely so I get the feeling I'm a temporary e-buddy until she can locate another boyfriend.

 

[danikerhino]

Not in my book, no exceptions.

 

[sneakpeak]

Originally Posted by Oprah Winfrey

Originally Posted by sneakpeak

I'm in a similar situation. Me and my ex have been "trying" to be friends, butttttt on the real...it is a weird and difficult thing to do especially since we just recently ended things at the beginning of the year. I've come to realize that being friends with this dude is not possible right now because the situation is still a bit fresh. Maybe we can be friends later on, but that concept just seems wack because of the history we have. I think being friends really depends on where you both stand with how you feel towards each other. It is possible, I've seen it happen, but do you really want that back in your life? I mean...do you think you're better off without her? If you still think she is a "demon seed" I saaaaay leave that alone.

She is a demon seed, but I was fornicating with her for 3 years so it makes things complicated and confusing. I think she knows this and just takes advantage, she's told me that she's lonely so I get the feeling I'm a temporary e-buddy until she can locate another boyfriend.

That is not a good look, lol. If you're okay with that then go right ahead. All I can really say is don't start catching feelings again ifshe just wants to mess around.

 

[oprah winfrey]

I mean, I have no clue why she's attempting to befriend me, I was just stating one possibility. As for the messing around thing, I would never do anythingsexual with her again, ever.

 

[certifiedsw]

Originally Posted by JayHood23

Nah, it's not possible after you have sex with that person. When ya'll break and you see her with another dude or she sees you with another girl one of you will be thinking about all the sexual things that ya'll did together and get to wondering then boom you're gonna get that gut wrenching feeling in your stomach

Yeah I'm with my girl right now and I don't wanna see that happen. I don't know how I would react to see her with another dude

 

[sneakpeak]

Originally Posted by Oprah Winfrey

I mean, I have no clue why she's attempting to befriend me, I was just stating one possibility. As for the messing around thing, I would never do anything sexual with her again, ever.

Just leave it then. Maybe she really wants to be your friend, maybe she just wants to do the deed, but who cares? You shouldn't. Don't let it get toyou. You're good Oprah, I'll catch your show tomorrow, lol.

 

[sylvestermcgrizzly]

I've tried....it can't happen...it doesn't work...

 

[oprah winfrey]

Originally Posted by sneakpeak

Originally Posted by Oprah Winfrey

I mean, I have no clue why she's attempting to befriend me, I was just stating one possibility. As for the messing around thing, I would never do anything sexual with her again, ever.

Just leave it then. Maybe she really wants to be your friend, maybe she just wants to do the deed, but who cares? You shouldn't. Don't let it get to you. You're good Oprah, I'll catch your show tomorrow, lol.

Thank you