NT Older crew 25+ up and/or Married...need some advice...

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If she was working and your arrangement was that you both share bills I don’t see how you are in the wrong. Women will have you second guessing your sanity out of their lack of accountability if you let them. I say sit her down and communicate to her that the current situation was not the arrangement was agreed on. Give her a solid deadline to either be working or in the process of finding work. If she chooses not to I’d bounce.

 

[finessence]

Had a guy working for me relocate to Arizona cause he wanted a house.

His wife has two kids with two other dudes, and he is baby daddy number 3. They have full custody of all 3 kids.

They both had great jobs, and before the pandemic she quit her job because she didn’t like her coworkers.

She had no motivation to get another Job, just all these get rich quick ideas. breeding dogs, (have no clue about dogs at all). Pyramid schemes, you name it.

She would spend money like crazy when her husband wasnt making enough to support her habits.

He was always a yes man and didn’t put his foot down and that kept on enabling her to spend more.
Peloton, another dog, family trips, she had a BBL lined up also.

I work directly with the guy and I do his payroll so I know how much he gets paid.

Anyways. Our boss relocated to Arizona so we all kept in touch and he would show us how much cheaper it is than The Bay Area. My coworker decided to follow our boss and was able to finally get a house.

We tried to negotiate him to stay. We offered him $55 an hour plus bonuses. He ended up declining and moved to Arizona making $35 an hour.

His wife still don’t want to work because in that span of him busting his aaaaaa during the pandemic he was able to somehow provide for the family. So she had it in her head that she don’t have to work anymore because their mortgage is cheaper than what they were paying rent when living in the bay. A lot of this could’ve gotten figured out if he stayed, took what we offered, and his wife got a part time job.

But I saw the struggle this guy was going through.

They were trying to refinance all their junk car loans she signed up for. $900 month for a busted used Range Rover.
He had a used Benz $750 month.
The peloton she never used.
The 2 dogs with no insurance they tried to breed. BBL,
It just goes on and on.

Plus they have 3 kids to take care of.

I still talk to him and he hates it out there. Still complains about his wife not having a job.

I don’t understand how dudes get suckered by these women.

You want a BBL but don’t WORK!?!? She probably in her 40s, stupid.

Dog breeding can be lucrative though. Other than that, she’s a clown. Dudes get suckered by these women with no redeemable qualities

These people don’t change over night. This is who they always were. They’ll sucker people into thinking they have work ethic. Get involved then married after a few years, and say f*** it I’ll never work

 

[beacon ave south]

Homie got got. 2 kids with 2 bd was a red flag from the jump.

 

[206to813]

My wife got laid off from work back in 2018. She hasn’t worked since and tells me she doesn’t plan on ever going back to work. We decide to buy a house. I ask her to contribute and find a job. Nothing stressful just something to help take care of the everyday expenses like utilities, insurance, gas, food etc. but she still refuses to work cause she says I make enough for the both of us. Am I in the wrong for wanting her to work?

Damn. Are you gonna leave her???

 

[Mark Antony]

Bruh she's had 5 years to deal with her depression and being unmotivated. This ain't it man, that's not fair to you at all.

 

[BR0 MONTANA]

No plans on leaving my wife. I married her because I love her. I know what I signed up for and I should’ve been prepared for this situation cause all the signs were there. We’ve been together for 15yrs. I just thought that she would someday find her motivation and do better for herself. My situation isn’t as bad as it seems. She is a very loyal and beautiful person inside and out. I could be in a love less marriage but she loves me unconditionally. Think I just needed to vent. Appreciate all the feedback fellas.

 

[jumpmanpro97]

Clingy no education and wants to stay at home and raise kids? Yea cut that off for real. You can’t be the only one in the household making $$$

 

[frankmatthews]

If you make her get a job at this point shes gonna resent you and its gonna cause further problems. And she'll probably resist just to see how much pushback you are gonna give on this.

The only way I can see you pulling this off is if you approach it with concern for her mental/depression. Frame it as something to get her out of the house, get her out into society and better herself and her mental state.

Still gonna be tough, cause who wants to work if they dont have to? If this is really about finances maybe you should invest into her ideas, even if you think they suck, maybe she ends up making something work. If she still refuses to work and flops on her side hustles.....tough situation with the kid.

 

[206to813]

No plans on leaving my wife. I married her because I love her. I know what I signed up for and I should’ve been prepared for this situation cause all the signs were there. We’ve been together for 15yrs. I just thought that she would someday find her motivation and do better for herself. My situation isn’t as bad as it seems. She is a very loyal and beautiful person inside and out. I could be in a love less marriage but she loves me unconditionally. Think I just needed to vent. Appreciate all the feedback fellas.

That’s cool bro. I have kids and I know adding kids to a struggling marriage is a bad idea 99% of the time. But if this woman doesn’t want to work, just stays home, has a lot of good qualities and u don’t wanna leave her. Maybe y’all should have kids, maybe she’d be a great mom/housewife. It’s def a full time job though

 

[tomdiginson]

No plans on leaving my wife. I married her because I love her. I know what I signed up for and I should’ve been prepared for this situation cause all the signs were there. We’ve been together for 15yrs. I just thought that she would someday find her motivation and do better for herself. My situation isn’t as bad as it seems. She is a very loyal and beautiful person inside and out. I could be in a love less marriage but she loves me unconditionally. Think I just needed to vent. Appreciate all the feedback fellas.

Good luck.

 

[krider31]

No kids just me and her. She makes me coffee in the morning and gets my lunch ready for work but when I get home she’s laid out on the couch or talking on the phone. Sometimes I have to make dinner sometimes she makes it. Really depends on how she feels. She really has no motivation to do better and is content at where she is in life.

unacceptable

 

[adobecs4]

Did bro really just tell him to bring life into this world in order to save a relationship? Am I on Facebook right now?

 

[finessence]

No plans on leaving my wife. I married her because I love her. I know what I signed up for and I should’ve been prepared for this situation cause all the signs were there. We’ve been together for 15yrs. I just thought that she would someday find her motivation and do better for herself. My situation isn’t as bad as it seems. She is a very loyal and beautiful person inside and out. I could be in a love less marriage but she loves me unconditionally. Think I just needed to vent. Appreciate all the feedback fellas.

She loves you unconditionally because she knows you got that BAG. Of course she won’t screw up.

 

[pdino]

No plans on leaving my wife. I married her because I love her. I know what I signed up for and I should’ve been prepared for this situation cause all the signs were there. We’ve been together for 15yrs. I just thought that she would someday find her motivation and do better for herself. My situation isn’t as bad as it seems. She is a very loyal and beautiful person inside and out. I could be in a love less marriage but she loves me unconditionally. Think I just needed to vent. Appreciate all the feedback fellas.

How about a side-hustle for some extra cash? Can sit at home doing surveys, dog-walking, baby sitting, writing, reading, selling baked goods, cleaning, youtube... whatever shes passionate about. Lots of ways to make $

 

[Mark Antony]

That’s cool bro. I have kids and I know adding kids to a struggling marriage is a bad idea 99% of the time. But if this woman doesn’t want to work, just stays home, has a lot of good qualities and u don’t wanna leave her. Maybe y’all should have kids, maybe she’d be a great mom/housewife. It’s def a full time job though

Great reminder to always take anything on the internet with a grain of salt.

 

[finessence]

My pops been married 23 years… to a woman who had 3 kids and didn’t have custody of EITHER. That’s RAREEEEE for a woman. My grandmother told him not to marry her. Fool went and married her anyway, at 33.

She doesn’t work. She’s stolen from him. Doesn’t care for his family much. He’s dumb. He has a construction company and is MISERABLE with her. Nobody to blame but himself.

He even has to hide assets or put them in other peoples name to avoid having to potentially pay her. He’s a clown.

Be mindful of these women y’all choose. They have game too. I don’t put women on a pedestal. My piece of mind is most important.

My dad the type to put women over his kids and look what he ended up with…. They don’t even sleep in the same bed.

She even moved her displaced family into his house

 

[finessence]

How about a side-hustle for some extra cash? Can sit at home doing surveys, dog-walking, baby sitting, writing, reading, selling baked goods, cleaning, youtube... whatever shes passionate about. Lots of ways to make $

She wants to sit on the couch and phone all day according to dude….

 

[dabottom305]

No plans on leaving my wife. I married her because I love her. I know what I signed up for and I should’ve been prepared for this situation cause all the signs were there. We’ve been together for 15yrs. I just thought that she would someday find her motivation and do better for herself. My situation isn’t as bad as it seems. She is a very loyal and beautiful person inside and out. I could be in a love less marriage but she loves me unconditionally. Think I just needed to vent. Appreciate all the feedback fellas.

This is so beautiful and they say men aren't loyal. I got a boy who married his girl, he quit his job and got depressed but still had a pension coming into while he looked for work. I believe he was going on 4 or 5 years without work. She eventually got tired of seeing him around the house and divorced him. Good luck.

 

[adobecs4]

 

[Deleted member 37467]

she loves me unconditionally.

Stop paying that mortgage and let's see how unconditional her love is.

The only women on this planet that will love you unconditionally are your mother/grandmother/sister.

 

[htg designs]

I mean, she cant get a work from home job?

 

[Brownstone]

This is so beautiful and they say men aren't loyal. I got a boy who married his girl, he quit his job and got depressed but still had a pension coming into while he looked for work. I believe he was going on 4 or 5 years without work. She eventually got tired of seeing him around the house and divorced him. Good luck.

4-5 years, thats a long time. Man needs to work. Surprised she lasted that long honestly.

My best friend was an attorney in NY making BANK. Found this foreign broad and was paying for everything, had her move in etc... After a year or so she wants to go back to her country. He goes to grad school there and she couldn't even make it 9 months before she left dude.

 

[SneakerProSr.]

My wife got laid off from work back in 2018. She hasn’t worked since and tells me she doesn’t plan on ever going back to work. We decide to buy a house. I ask her to contribute and find a job. Nothing stressful just something to help take care of the everyday expenses like utilities, insurance, gas, food etc. but she still refuses to work cause she says I make enough for the both of us. Am I in the wrong for wanting her to work?

Hell no

 

[dabottom305]

4-5 years, thats a long time. Man needs to work. Surprised she lasted that long honestly.

My best friend was an attorney in NY making BANK. Found this foreign broad and was paying for everything, had her move in etc... After a year or so she wants to go back to her country. He goes to grad school there and she couldn't even make it 9 months before she left dude.

It's a cold world and it's only getting colder

 

[mplsdunk]

even if I'm making enough money for the both of us I'm still not going to be the only one working.

tf do I look like working hard so you can sit at home? even if she got some basic job making 40k a year you could put that all on your house or whatever and retire early. no way man.