OFFICE DARES - SO FREAKING FUNNY

Discussion in 'General' started by kix2mny, Feb 24, 2009.

  1. kix2mny

    kix2mny

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    I forgot how to make a post.
     
  2. kix2mny

    kix2mny

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    OFFICE DARES



    ONE-POINT DARES

    1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

    2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

    3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

    4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

    5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."

    6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

    7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.



    TWO POINT DARES

    1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

    2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."

    3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

    4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

    5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.



    FIVE POINT DARES

    1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launchinto it yourself).

    2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

    3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as " Bob "

    4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."

    5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.

    6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

    7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"

    [​IMG] At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

    9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)

    10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"

    11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

    12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."

    13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant.

    14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

    15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

    16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

    17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.

    18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

    19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.



    And if that wasn't enough for you...



    How to keep a healthy level of insanity:



    1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.

    See if they slow down.

    2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

    3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

    4) Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".

    5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

    6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

    7) Don't use any punctuation

    [​IMG] Use, too...much; punctuation!

    9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

    10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

    11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

    12) Sing along at the opera.

    13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

    14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

    15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

    16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."

    17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"

    18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
     
  3. kix2mny

    kix2mny

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  4. damnitzvin

    damnitzvin

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    cliffnotes [​IMG]
     
  5. kix2mny

    kix2mny

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    ^ pranks to do at the office
     
  6. jp310

    jp310

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    i was expecting a video. Read a couple tho, some are pretty funny
     
  7. rhester

    rhester

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    Funny
     
  8. liljrdn

    liljrdn

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    Man, I have to get some of my co-workers to do some of these.
     
  9. ekin 75

    ekin 75 Banned

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    Thanks for the laugh...
     
  10. ihavemyownopinion

    ihavemyownopinion

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    Some made me laugh
     
  11. bjj prodigy

    bjj prodigy

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    I got to try some of them.
     
  12. crazy ebw

    crazy ebw

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  13. imsola

    imsola

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    Some funny stuff in there.
     
  14. airkeung88

    airkeung88

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    lol....not bad, but won't try it tho.
     
  15. coolnificent

    coolnificent

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    If I worked in an office I would try these [​IMG]
     
  16. ericescobar

    ericescobar

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    i gotta try these
     
  17. the north west

    the north west

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    I have done some of these but its because I am weird
     
  18. randomhero1985

    randomhero1985

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    Does anyone ever that about Niketalk with your coworkers?
     
  19. hypebeast mcstreetwear

    hypebeast mcstreetwear

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    Imma definitely run around the department and leave my fly open [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
     
  20. that guy max

    that guy max

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  21. withapassion

    withapassion

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    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
     
  22. infamousod

    infamousod

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    this is why the Chinese are kicking our &$#)&@
     
  23. shortydoowopp

    shortydoowopp

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    [​IMG]
     
  24. vsano

    vsano

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    [​IMG]Amusing.... [​IMG]