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Yes before taking any medicine it is best to try things like exercise and lifestyle changes and in some cases weed has helped people but to others it can do the opposite.People's minds and bodies respond to different things. If you are fortunate enough to have a doctor, work with him or her and with trial and error and see how exercise, diet, lifestyle, meditation and therapy work. The same is true for drugs. For some people SSRIs are ideal. For some it would be benzodiazapines. In certain and more progressive states, cannabis might be the best option.
Regarding benzos, I think you guys might be having problems because of the dose you are taking. A "bar" of xanax is 2mg, which is huge with this particular drug. I get prescribed .25 mg pills and one or two pills induces a deep sense of calm and I have been taking them regularly for a decade. If you take xanax infrequently and then you take a bar, you will probably blackout and act erratically, especially if you mix it with alcohol.
Stick to the clinical doses for benzos if you are going to take them.
If you gotta take benzos DO NOT drink when you take them because you might not wake up. They slow down your central nervous system.