Platonic relationships.......

[smedroc]

Let me start by saying i'm asking out of genuine intrigue rather then me trying to plant another IED in general forum

So how do you view platonic friendships / relationships?

How do you maintain them along side your romantic relationships?

 

[feeninlikejodeci]

Back in 2014 I thought one of my co-workers had worn the same t-shirt 2 days in a row, so I criticized her on it. She corrected me, she was wearing Mossimo (Target brand), and the day before Faded Glory. I was like wait, you shop at Wal-Mart for clothes? I told her, I had just assumed she went to stores like Forever21 and LensCrafters (she got her glasses from a local optician).

We had a boombox with the radio on it and one day there was like 4 Lady Gaga songs in a row and she made a comment they were playing alot of her songs. So from then on whenever Lady Gaga came on I'd ask her who sings it? One day "Raise Your Glass" where the first 30 seconds sounds like Gaga song...I had her fooled, and then when the chorus came and I revealed it was actually Pink who sings it. So from then on we'd have music discussions every day and we were talking about what concerts we had gone to and I mentioned an upcoming drake/future concert I was going to. So we ended up going together and having alot of fun.

After that we'd do little activities together like going to the mall and I unintentionally figured out I could use her as bait to holla at other chicks. One time we were at Bath and Body Works and she was tryna buy me some kind of cool aromatherapy gadget but I didn't think the scents they had available were "manly" enough. There was another chick shopping so she approached her and asked her for an opinion on which scents were gender neutral. So anyways I guess that broke the ice and I ended up having small talk and got the chicks number who was FAR out of my league (she was the type who goes to tanning salons, goes jogging like every morning). All thanks to my (average looking) co-worker .

Be prepared though, having a platonic female friend involves alot of mundane conversations and listening. I had just assumed she was on Direct Deposit and was shocked to see she not only got a paper check she also cashed it at the same gas station in the hood. She told me a story of how her car insurance had caused her bank to overdraft, which should've taken less than 5 minutes to explain, ended up taking a full half hour to explain it and I nearly fell asleep while at work.

 

[Brownstone]

Two, types of chicks ones I smashed, and ones I aint smash yet

 

[Present]

Might help to provide a definition of the term.

A lot of people may think they know what it means but the term's definition has evolved considerably.

What do you mean by "Platonic Relationship".

 

[solemate96]

I have two plationic relationships with two women that I had sex with previously. You would think being in a romantic relationship with that person before would make things weird but it's actually a lot better. First off, it's not like they haven't seen you naked before so there were times when we would be hanging out at her place and it's really hot, I will just strip down to my boxers and just hang out on the couch with her. She doesn't care. There are still some flirty aspects to things like kissing her on the cheek, holding the small of her back to guide her if we are going somewhere. Most importantly, she's an accountant and she keeps my finances in order.

The other one is someone I can talk sex with and anything else. I help her out with her online dating and she helps me out with other things like advice and just being there as a friend. I know that I can always sleep over her place and have a warm meal every time I am there.

I guess it's just different for everyone. If you don't approach it as though it is weird, it is fine. All in all, it just breaks down to you not being a jerk and being a decent human being.

 

[Present]

I have two plationic relationships with two women that I had sex with previously.

This is where a definition of the term would be useful.

If you already had sex, can it ever be "platonic"?

Sorta like a born again virgin.

Bells cant be un-rung.

Guns cant be un-shot.

You cant un-f^&% someone you've already f^$%ed.

 

[the natural mystic]

Ain't no way I can be friends with any of the girls I smashed before. Especially being a married man, the wife would feel some type of way. I would too if she hang out with whoever she laid with before me.

I have women friends but I would never just hit them up to hang out at their crib by ourselves. That a recipe for disaster.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

What do platonic relationships mean/entail?

 

[Mark Antony]

Gotta keep the people around that hold you down regardless of gender because they don't come around often.

 

[thenewjs23]

I'm married and both my wife and I have "platonic" relationships. One was a former student at a university I worked some years back. We bumped into one another in DC, kept in touch, she moved to Boston earlier this month my wife lived there fo a while and we all meet up recently. There was a time, years back (2010ish) I would've smashed. There are some chicks I've smashed and still cool with but wouldn't meet up with them.

My wife and I still kick it with her main male friend. It's clear there is no romantic chemistry between them. I'm a Black left leaning male and he's a White right leaning Male. We question his affiliation all the time cause he's not a Trumper.

 

[wayniac211]

Back in 2014 I thought one of my co-workers had worn the same t-shirt 2 days in a row, so I criticized her on it. She corrected me, she was wearing Mossimo (Target brand), and the day before Faded Glory. I was like wait, you shop at Wal-Mart for clothes? I told her, I had just assumed she went to stores like Forever21 and LensCrafters (she got her glasses from a local optician).

We had a boombox with the radio on it and one day there was like 4 Lady Gaga songs in a row and she made a comment they were playing alot of her songs. So from then on whenever Lady Gaga came on I'd ask her who sings it? One day "Raise Your Glass" where the first 30 seconds sounds like Gaga song...I had her fooled, and then when the chorus came and I revealed it was actually Pink who sings it. So from then on we'd have music discussions every day and we were talking about what concerts we had gone to and I mentioned an upcoming drake/future concert I was going to. So we ended up going together and having alot of fun.

After that we'd do little activities together like going to the mall and I unintentionally figured out I could use her as bait to holla at other chicks. One time we were at Bath and Body Works and she was tryna buy me some kind of cool aromatherapy gadget but I didn't think the scents they had available were "manly" enough. There was another chick shopping so she approached her and asked her for an opinion on which scents were gender neutral. So anyways I guess that broke the ice and I ended up having small talk and got the chicks number who was FAR out of my league (she was the type who goes to tanning salons, goes jogging like every morning). All thanks to my (average looking) co-worker .

Be prepared though, having a platonic female friend involves alot of mundane conversations and listening. I had just assumed she was on Direct Deposit and was shocked to see she not only got a paper check she also cashed it at the same gas station in the hood. She told me a story of how her car insurance had caused her bank to overdraft, which should've taken less than 5 minutes to explain, ended up taking a full half hour to explain it and I nearly fell asleep while at work.

Her life sounds complicated. You two are a perfect match

 

[Master Zik]

Its cool when it's like a dude and a butch female.

But sometimes this situation arises:

 

[Hunnynutcheerios]

Platonic as just a friend or platonic as in were gonna be casual smush buddies while having a friendship?

 

[sooperhooper]

One usually likes the other but is cool with it not happening

 

[Belgium]

Back in January, I met a coworker (Amy) and quickly developed a close bond with her. She's lesbian so it can only be platonic anyway.
It's a bit of an oddly intimate friendship though with a lot of sexual conversations. How she is in bed, her orgasms, sex drive, masturbation, sex toys, ... and vice versa.

The more intimate conversations started from one of our earliest private talks, a 2 hour voice chat on Discord after helping her with something work related, when she wanted to know all about my hormone illness (hypogonadotropic hypogonadism). Specifically she was interested in the effects of only being able to produce about 25% of a normal testosterone value. I decided to go along and give her an honest and sexually explicit answer. She then shared a story about how her sex drive went through the roof once as a side effect of an anti-depressant, to the point where she couldn't focus on her studies because of constant sexual fantasies.
I think after that we both gradually felt we could talk to eachother about literally anything without it ever feeling weird or awkward.
She also asked to be my wingwoman, though there haven't really been much opportunities yet due to covid restrictions.

Eventually a while ago, she decided to tell me that she had been struggling with suicidal thoughts and that I was the only person who made her feel comfortable enough to talk to about it. I tried my best to be there for her to help her out and she started feeling better within a month. Now she's been consistently happy for several months, though she still never told her psychiatrist about the suicidal thoughts despite my repeated pressure.
Likewise, she was the first person I told about my struggle with opioid abuse and in general she turned me into a more open person instead of a closed book. Before that I was only really open with foreigners on the internet like NT.

Aside from Amy, I'd only consider my boss a platonic friend as well, though definitely not even remotely near as close. She's the longtime girlfriend of one of my closest friends and is the one who hired me.

I really don't understand the people who say platonic friendships with women are a waste of time, something I've been hearing repeatedly from some people over the past few months as Amy and I increasingly texted and hung out together. If anything I think those people are missing out.

 

[Nouss]

Belgium How old are you?

 

[Belgium]

Belgium How old are you?

27.

 

[Barbados Slim]

That went from hot to sad story fast.
Glad yall are good though.

 

[wayniac211]

work is the best place for platinum platonic... job apps for work husband are ripped up constantly.. women are funny and more chill when we keep it business and say no. Guys on the other hand get more butt hurt

 

[Present]

Question:

I really don't understand the people who say platonic friendships with women are a waste of time, something I've been hearing repeatedly from some people over the past few months as Amy and I increasingly texted and hung out together. If anything I think those people are missing out.

Answer:

Back in January, I met a coworker (Amy) and quickly developed a close bond with her. She's lesbian so it can only be platonic anyway.
It's a bit of an oddly intimate friendship though with a lot of sexual conversations. How she is in bed, her orgasms, sex drive, masturbation, sex toys, ... and vice versa.

Some men would consider sexual conversations with a lesbian a waste of time.

Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Each of us has the ability to determine how we spend our time, with whom we spend our time, and what holds value for us - as individuals.

It doesn't make a man more (insert nice words) to have platonic relationships any more than it makes a man less (insert nice words) not to have platonic relationships.

Its a matter of being honest with yourself and others.

There is no such thing as a "friend zone" or "involuntary celibacy" to an honest man.

Are you even slightly attracted to Amy?

If Amy offered you sex, would you take it?

If so, then is it truly "platonic"?

 

[MakeNTGreatAgain]

which should've taken less than 5 minutes to explain, ended up taking a full half hour to explain it and I nearly fell asleep while at work.

this part hilarious

 

[BukHumYai]

It’s either I’m clapping cheeks or not. No platonic friendships over here

 

[MakeNTGreatAgain]

I got a few platonic friends.
none i smash, i looked at them just as friends from the beginning, i look at them as a cousin/sister
we hang out and grab food when convenient

its nice to have friends who can offer a female perspective

but there are some dudes in my group who would for sure smash if given the opportunity

 

[mplsdunk]

I talk to a couple of my boys wife’s/gf on the regular via text.

I’m friends with my female boss.

that’s all I got.

I’m married and washed and not trying to smash any of them so it’s fine.

 

[Hunnynutcheerios]

It's funny i was always told that guys and girls can't be just friends without one wanting something at some point. I don't agree i think you can be just friends with someone.