SO i had two funerals in one week....

kenn e

kenn e

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May 24, 2002
Last monday buried my dad, tomorrow im burying one of my good friends.  Pops was 54, friend was 28. two completely seperate incidents.
life is hard. homie has a 2 year old girl....

and its not the first time i dealt with death, you would think by now death would be easier i went to a funeral every year for the past 5-6 years. seems like people around me are slowly going....

anyone wanna drop me some words of wisdom that might help me get thru this?

and "keep your head up" "be strong" "its gonna be alright" isnt what im trying to hear....
 
tired.gif
 both were mad young. RIP
my advice: go out.. run, play ball, etc.. 
 
Originally Posted by kEnn E


and "keep your head up" "be strong" "its gonna be alright" isnt what im trying to hear....
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why make this thread then? What are you expecting to hear from us?

Nothing we can say is going to heal your pain.

Time heals all wounds, and I sincerely hope things turn for the better.

oh, and sheesh, i havent seen you post in a long time.
 
Just find things to do to keep your mind clear.

Don't sit and get depressed try to keep a good mood.
 
i was hoping someone else went thru it, or went through something even worst, to put everything into perspective for me. but i guess we all deal with it in our own ways. i dunno.
 
Originally Posted by kEnn E

i was hoping someone else went thru it, or went through something even worst, to put everything into perspective for me. but i guess we all deal with it in our own ways. i dunno.
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   i know what your going thru cept 2 of my long time friends died...one died last week (cancer)....the other in a car accident (hit by drunk driver)....
 
Instead of the cliche "keep your head up" and "it's going to be alright" I'll just say live OP. These people in your life that have come and gone have lived their lives. There's nothing that you can do to bring them back. Death isn't a new experience for you, but it seems like you don't know how to cope. When people pass don't concentrate on their absence, but rather the lives that they lived. My condolences to your father and your friend but, live your life man. Honor them by living and making something of yourself even though they cannot be there physically for you. Everyone has their day, and when mine and yours come, you can say that you lived your life to the fullest and left nothing behind.
 
Sup Kenn -- funerals are always hard man. Remember to celebrate their lives.. You might feel you are losing two close people, but they are really going to a better place, I know it.

Oops missed that you didn't want to hear "Keep your head up" - but do so anyway!

smile.gif
 
Im 27 and I have been to 10 funerals. I knew more people that passed away but couldn't go to their funeral because of work.. it just takes time.
 
I been through out, but i still don't know what to tell you. It'll be what people tell you, but keep your head straight. Focus on school/work whatever your pops would have wanted you to do. It'll be hard, but keep it moving and stay up(exactly what you said your not looking to hear...my bad)
 
What helped me was being proactive in helping support my other family members. Basically being the "strong" one. It allows others to lean on you for support and at the same time brings you all closer together so you feel better. Oh and when you're alone let it out.
 
luckily I havent had to many funerals in my lifetime

just use it as motivation and do something constructive to make them proud.
 
Death is an experience that is completely different for each person that endures it. One of my best friend's passed away last year, he was stabbed defending a relative in an altercation on his way to church. My friend had nothing to do with the situation except for the fact that his cousin was involved and he was coming to his aid. For that he has left a 2 year old son behind who reminds me of him every time I look in his eyes. I dealt with it by working out (keeping my strong mind) and dedicating my efforts to being successful in my life to my friend who isn't here to live out his own dreams, ambitions and aspirations. Death is going to happen to everyone, EVERYONE. The one thing that money can't differentiate with humans is death because anybody and everybody will eventually succumb to it. What you have to do is make a choice. Are you going to let the passing of your loved one MAKE YOU or BREAK YOU because those are the only two options you have after someone passes.



You can let this experience make you and let it be a reality check and pursue/protect the things in life you cherish most

or

You can let this experience break you, fall into bad habits, lose hope and sight of what is really important (YOU, your family/loved ones)

choice is yours OP, I honestly hope these words of advice can help you put things into perspective and just keeping living life to the fullest!

that's all i can tell you
 
If you've been around a lot of death, and you still don't know how to cope and deal with it properly, I would suggest speaking to a counselor or professional who might be able to address some of your concerns and issues.

People do grieve in different ways, but if you're having trouble, seeking out real help is certainly an option.

My father and grandmother died within a few months of each other about 6 years back and for me, I kept it to myself and didn't really share it with many people. But I'm also a private person and I don't open myself up a lot. Cliches aren't always helpful, but they're usually true. The biggest thing I learned is that time won't completely heal all wounds, but it's the only thing that truly helped. Everyday it gets easier and you start to pick up your life one step at a time. If you find yourself upset, then try to keep busy with work, school, projects, friends, family. The more you can surround yourself with people you love, things that make you happy, places you want to be, the more you won't be distracted with death.

And it's not to say you should try to forget your loved ones, but if you dwell on death forever then you're never going to live. Grieving has a time and a place, but it's also important to realize your loved ones don't want you grieving over them the rest of your life. Do all that you can to make them proud and try to appreciate your life and opportunities when you have it because life is too short.

There will always be dark times, it's upsetting for me to realize my dad didn't see me graduate, or get married, or have kids, and that I won't have him there, and that's nothing I can do to change it. Death is a humbling experience and it's something everyone will go through in life so you have to just remember the good times, think of the positives of life, and just take it one step at a time.
 
im sorry to hear about ur loss. don't trip tho, they up there lookin out for you.

personally, i wouldn't know what to do if i was in ur situation. i really value my dad and my team.
 
God bless you sir. I can't even offer any words of wisdom other than Prayer. I've never been in your situation, so you're a lot stronger in handling something like this.
 
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