Thanks
^Good stuff. +1
A couple days ago was my 8th month being sober
Thanks and congrats to you man
Man, props to all. I can't seem to stop for a long period of time at all. AT all. Trying again and again, tho.
I can't either, keep on trying though bro. this is my first time doing the whole rehab thing instead of just saying I can stop at anytime, I don't want it to be a trend with this, that's why I just isolate myself from people and other outside influences, until I feel like I can go over someones house and just hangout without being tempted. The people that do know have committed to not drinking or smoking herb when I do decide I want to chill(feel bad because I didn't ask them to do that, and I don;t want them thinking they can't do it because I'm around) I just know I'm the one with the problem and it shouldn't hinder people who don't. I feel bad because my boy of over 10 years(longtime drinking party buddy) said he and his lady are ready to have us over whenever(he lives in LA, I live in norcal) he supports me and texts me to check in regularly, which is coo, but he works for bevmo and pretty much has an endless supply of anything and everything, even stuff thats not out yet. I know he means well, but I have to tell him I can't stay with him anymore, and make it sound less offensive, because it really isn't him at all it's me. He's going to think I'm crazy too because he moved like a 10 minute walk to disneyland
and my wife and I are gonna be in a hotel. Even writing this makes me get a flash of us just walking with tall cans to Disneyland like it's nothing
,
that's when I know I'm making the right decision
bars and parties are def a no no for sure. People sometimes don't really know how to process it either and that requires so much patience, that's more than half the reason I'm isolating myself. I had my wife's old coworker(someone that is def a drinking buddy when we hung out and he threw wild house parties) send me a shirt that basically promoted a brewery, I told my wife I wasn't wearing that and just threw it out. He also said something like "man he's going to meetings and rehab willingly???? more power to him!"
which is dumb because he got me that shirt with the knowledge that I'm getting sober now
. It seems small I know but the whole thing had me heated.
My wife leaving town to go to my sister in laws(her brothers wife) baby shower. I'm not going because my sister in law(her sister) is going, and we always got plastered even when the occassion had nothing to do with drinking(movies, family gatherings etc.) We'd always be the only ones too. She's caused me the most pain as she has known about this since the beginning, she's actually the first to know and saw me at my worst. I considered my closest friend(besides my wife of course) but whenever she sees me she doesn't even acknowledge the fact that I'm in recovery, like it just doesn't exist to her. She's the only one I've told who just doesn't ask me how I'm doing, and I've been there for her countless times, like real friend times. Everyone says(group,therapist, wife) just says she is like that because if we do talk about it she might think I'm going to try to "convert her" or she might realize she has her own problem and I totally get that and I'm not even in the slightest trying to do that...but it still hurts. The last time we talked one on one(in january) she basically told me how she got plastered NYE in the city, then went to her mans house and partied with his mom, told me all the drinks she had, drugs she took, all that
stuff you don't want to hear if you are me right now(holidays were the toughest part) I just straight up told my wife, I can't deal with that right now, I'm taking myself out of everyones equations until I figure stuff out for myself.
Sorry for the wall of text, but I needed to throw my thoughts out there because I always feel better about it and it takes the edge off, instead of turning to a bottle or some herb
. Gotta stay strong though 
