Taking a break from a relationship?

[Deleted member 107398]

take that time, straighten up your stuff, don't keep her updated on your personal stuff...just pop up one day, good job, life straightened out, work out (?), she may come back once she sees you doing better...whether you want her back or not...that's on you...

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Damn, I was just about to make a similar thread. Let me explain my stance. I hate that every relationship eventually gets away from that honeymoon stage. That is something we can't avoid.

I HATE overexposure. I want to want to look forward to seeing you. I can't do that if I am in your face 4+ times per week. I would prefer not seeing someone more than 2-3 times per week.

I am also in favor of small breaks when people are in relationships just as a reset. I mean sports have off-seasons because they are so punishing to the body. Relationships are so punishing to the emotions/psychiii , so why don't we promote breaks? And when I say a break, I don't mean a time in which you can do dirt, I literally mean, time apart. Time where you don't see/talk to that person. Let them be, and you be. Remove some of the dependence. Re-learn how to live alone and by yourself.

But the issue with this is people can't possibly fathom why someone wouldn't want to be around their person like that unless
A. They want to do dirt
B. They don't "really" care/love

And both are not true.

Time away makes the heart grow fonder. That phrase isn't a phrase for a reason.

 

[shooters touch]

Damn, I was just about to make a similar thread. Let me explain my stance. I hate that every relationship eventually gets away from that honeymoon stage. That is something we can't avoid.

I HATE overexposure. I want to want to look forward to seeing you. I can't do that if I am in your face 4+ times per week. I would prefer not seeing someone more than 2-3 times per week.

I am also in favor of small breaks when people are in relationships just as a reset. I mean sports have off-seasons because they are so punishing to the body. Relationships are so punishing to the emotions/psychiii , so why don't we promote breaks? And when I say a break, I don't mean a time in which you can do dirt, I literally mean, time apart. Time where you don't see/talk to that person. Let them be, and you be. Remove some of the dependence. Re-learn how to live alone and by yourself.

But the issue with this is people can't possibly fathom why someone wouldn't want to be around their person like that unless
A. They want to do dirt
B. They don't "really" care/love

And both are not true.

Time away makes the heart grow fonder. That phrase isn't a phrase for a reason.

Repped bruh, this is the truth. Me and my lady going through the same situation...she needa work on herself, she aint in bad shape but there is some things that she just has to do for herself. Im always here and we talk on a daily basis, I know what kind of women she is so i aint worried about her meeting someone new. Her home is right here, I am just a "good distraction" at the moment. I got some things I gotta take care of also on my own, i have faith that all will be well in the future. You should also OP

edit-I dont agree with the over exposure part though fam, I throughly enjoy seeing her, living with her would be great.

 

[niketalker23]

As the Mother of your Daughter and your significant other.

She suppose to be there for you for support, to guide you when you're down, through tough times.

This is another way for her to say that it is over.

Goodluck brother, I hope for the best for yourself!

This is what I was going to say.

The person that you're with and loves you is supposed to be there for you ESPECIALLY during tough times.

If she wants a break when you're going through something instead of being your support system, she doesn't think you're worth the trouble.

 

[niketalker23]

Damn, I was just about to make a similar thread. Let me explain my stance. I hate that every relationship eventually gets away from that honeymoon stage. That is something we can't avoid.

I HATE overexposure. I want to want to look forward to seeing you. I can't do that if I am in your face 4+ times per week. I would prefer not seeing someone more than 2-3 times per week.

I am also in favor of small breaks when people are in relationships just as a reset. I mean sports have off-seasons because they are so punishing to the body. Relationships are so punishing to the emotions/psychiii , so why don't we promote breaks? And when I say a break, I don't mean a time in which you can do dirt, I literally mean, time apart. Time where you don't see/talk to that person. Let them be, and you be. Remove some of the dependence. Re-learn how to live alone and by yourself.

But the issue with this is people can't possibly fathom why someone wouldn't want to be around their person like that unless
A. They want to do dirt
B. They don't "really" care/love

And both are not true.

Time away makes the heart grow fonder. That phrase isn't a phrase for a reason.

I don't agree with this. I have been with my girlfriend for 10 years and I see her 4+ times a week. I still get excited for the work week to be over so I can spend time with her and she feels the same about me.

Also, breaks to me are pointless. Because eventually if you're to marry this girl, there are no "breaks" in a marriage. It's a cop out for people who can't fix their problems.

 

[Kaleo15]

I HATE overexposure. I want to want to look forward to seeing you. I can't do that if I am in your face 4+ times per week. I would prefer not seeing someone more than 2-3 times per week.

With that kind of mentallity, you will never be married, and you will never have a family.

How is it possible to see your Wife, the person you live with, the person you have kids with 2x a week and still have a healthy relationship?

 

[Coromanti]

 

Damn, I was just about to make a similar thread. Let me explain my stance. I hate that every relationship eventually gets away from that honeymoon stage. That is something we can't avoid.

I HATE overexposure. I want to want to look forward to seeing you. I can't do that if I am in your face 4+ times per week. I would prefer not seeing someone more than 2-3 times per week.

I am also in favor of small breaks when people are in relationships just as a reset. I mean sports have off-seasons because they are so punishing to the body. Relationships are so punishing to the emotions/psychiii , so why don't we promote breaks? And when I say a break, I don't mean a time in which you can do dirt, I literally mean, time apart. Time where you don't see/talk to that person. Let them be, and you be. Remove some of the dependence. Re-learn how to live alone and by yourself.

But the issue with this is people can't possibly fathom why someone wouldn't want to be around their person like that unless
A. They want to do dirt
B. They don't "really" care/love

And both are not true.

Time away makes the heart grow fonder. That phrase isn't a phrase for a reason.

I don't agree with this. I have been with my girlfriend for 10 years and I see her 4+ times a week. I still get excited for the work week to be over so I can spend time with her and she feels the same about me.

Also, breaks to me are pointless. Because eventually if you're to marry this girl, there are no "breaks" in a marriage. It's a cop out for people who can't fix their problems.

I concur. I'm hype to see my girl. We're in a LDR and we talk everyday, skype multiple times a week. Same excitement levels from both parties.

inb4 someone else is smashing that

 

[951guero]

Thatnks for the input guys
Means a lot
I see everyone with the different aspects and that's good

 

[DCAllAfrican]

I said I would PREFER not to see the person I am with so much. If someone is married, well of course that is something that you are going to have to deal with.

You dudes that say you are happy/excited to see your girls and you have been in extensive relationships, best believe you are a minority. I just like my space and I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all. You can live in the house with someone and not be overexposed. You can find things to do alone, go in your man cave, not being all up on each other all the time so when it does happen, it is that much sweeter.

My man that said he is in a LDR with his girl, you are disqualified from this conversation. Skyping and talking to her on the phone are NOT the same as being with her constantly in the flesh.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

With that kind of mentallity, you will never be married, and you will never have a family.

How is it possible to see your Wife, the person you live with, the person you have kids with 2x a week and still have a healthy relationship?

Easy. The same way I explained. Not crowding each other's space, respecting that person's time and independence. Find things to do by yourself. Why can't there be a healthy relationship while those things are taking place?

Being married doesn't mean you give up any and all forms of individuality. Nor does it mean you have to give up personal time. Also, there is no rule that prohibits "taking a break."

Again, taking a break has a negative connotation to it. It doesn't mean you are going to do dirt, it just means resetting, and giving the other person a chance to miss you. Which is all I am referring to.

 

[Master Zik]

Damn, I was just about to make a similar thread. Let me explain my stance. I hate that every relationship eventually gets away from that honeymoon stage. That is something we can't avoid.

I HATE overexposure. I want to want to look forward to seeing you. I can't do that if I am in your face 4+ times per week. I would prefer not seeing someone more than 2-3 times per week.

I am also in favor of small breaks when people are in relationships just as a reset. I mean sports have off-seasons because they are so punishing to the body. Relationships are so punishing to the emotions/psychiii , so why don't we promote breaks? And when I say a break, I don't mean a time in which you can do dirt, I literally mean, time apart. Time where you don't see/talk to that person. Let them be, and you be. Remove some of the dependence. Re-learn how to live alone and by yourself.

But the issue with this is people can't possibly fathom why someone wouldn't want to be around their person like that unless
A. They want to do dirt
B. They don't "really" care/love

And both are not true.

Time away makes the heart grow fonder. That phrase isn't a phrase for a reason.

Can't remember where I saw it but there's a whole group of married ppl that live this lifestyle. If I remember right the specific couples were married for over a decade. Take vacations by themselves, go out to clubs, movies with other ppl, and then plan on a time to meet up and spend a few weeks together to just do the whole thing again after some time (obviously in between work).

Can't really knock the lifestyle.

 

[niketalker23]

With that kind of mentallity, you will never be married, and you will never have a family.

How is it possible to see your Wife, the person you live with, the person you have kids with 2x a week and still have a healthy relationship?

Easy. The same way I explained. Not crowding each other's space, respecting that person's time and independence. Find things to do by yourself. Why can't there be a healthy relationship while those things are taking place?

Being married doesn't mean you give up any and all forms of individuality. Nor does it mean you have to give up personal time. Also, there is no rule that prohibits "taking a break."

Again, taking a break has a negative connotation to it. It doesn't mean you are going to do dirt, it just means resetting, and giving the other person a chance to miss you. Which is all I am referring to.

Nobody said anything about giving up individuality or personal time. That just shows what you perceive a relationship to be.

And of course "taking a break" has a negative connotation to it, how could it a positive? Why else would somebody need to take a break from a relationship, because the relationship is going too well?

Have you ever been in a successful relationship?

 

[Kaleo15]

With that kind of mentallity, you will never be married, and you will never have a family.

How is it possible to see your Wife, the person you live with, the person you have kids with 2x a week and still have a healthy relationship?

Easy. The same way I explained. Not crowding each other's space, respecting that person's time and independence. Find things to do by yourself. Why can't there be a healthy relationship while those things are taking place?

Being married doesn't mean you give up any and all forms of individuality. Nor does it mean you have to give up personal time. Also, there is no rule that prohibits "taking a break."

Again, taking a break has a negative connotation to it. It doesn't mean you are going to do dirt, it just means resetting, and giving the other person a chance to miss you. Which is all I am referring to.

Easy? Hmmm... let me ask before you drag this any further... Are you married? Do you live with your girl? Do you have kids?

 

[niketalker23]

If somebody needs to have "breaks" in their relationship or marriage in order for it to be successful, then they probably need to pick a better partner.

If I needed to take breaks in order to not get tired of my girl, then I'd go find someone I don't need to take breaks from.

 

[mivish06]

Hmm it seems as if she is ready to move on, but it can also be that she just needs a break to get settled into her new opportunities. But based on my experience I'd advise you to keep focused on your grind and try to set yourself up in a better position, whether it be going back to school for a career or finding another job that would be more beneficial for you. Also, you must do something about your alcoholism, its only a hindrance to yourself and your family.

Regardless of the outcome, hang in there and keep bettering yourself and strive for greatness

 

[Kaleo15]

If somebody needs to have "breaks" in their relationship or marriage in order for it to be successful, then they probably need to pick a better partner.

If I needed to take breaks in order to not get tired of my girl, then I'd go find someone I don't need to take breaks from.

It really isn't that difficult.

Dude said he prefers to see his spouse TWICE a week in order not to get tired of her.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

If somebody needs to have "breaks" in their relationship or marriage in order for it to be successful, then they probably need to pick a better partner.

If I needed to take breaks in order to not get tired of my girl, then I'd go find someone I don't need to take breaks from.

Well it is a good thing there aren't any actual rules to this thing we call human interaction. What works for some doesn't work for others. There is no right or wrong way man.

@Hawaii , No to all of your questions. If you feel that disqualifies me from being able to have this conversation, I understand.

 

[Kaleo15]

@Hawaii , No to all of your questions. If you feel that disqualifies me from being able to have this conversation, I understand.

Well yes, no offense, but it does disqualify you. Thanks for your honesty though! I know most NTers would just make **** up just to argue.

 

[heliumclinton]

Idk how people get tired of seeing each other in relationships if yall both have full time jobs

My woman and I live together and I only see her on the weekend and maybe 10 mins in the afternoon when she comes from work so I could go to sleep before my overnight shift

When I worked the daytime shift we only saw each other in the bed

Have a life outside of your relationship so you don't wear it out

 

[OBAMA]

You need to step up your stroke too op..no homo

 

[Master Zik]

With that kind of mentallity, you will never be married, and you will never have a family.

How is it possible to see your Wife, the person you live with, the person you have kids with 2x a week and still have a healthy relationship?

Easy. The same way I explained. Not crowding each other's space, respecting that person's time and independence. Find things to do by yourself. Why can't there be a healthy relationship while those things are taking place?

Being married doesn't mean you give up any and all forms of individuality. Nor does it mean you have to give up personal time. Also, there is no rule that prohibits "taking a break."

Again, taking a break has a negative connotation to it. It doesn't mean you are going to do dirt, it just means resetting, and giving the other person a chance to miss you. Which is all I am referring to.

Easy? Hmmm... let me ask before you drag this any further... Are you married? Do you live with your girl? Do you have kids?

DC is androgynous.

 

[friscostylez]

Damn, I was just about to make a similar thread. Let me explain my stance. I hate that every relationship eventually gets away from that honeymoon stage. That is something we can't avoid.

I HATE overexposure. I want to want to look forward to seeing you. I can't do that if I am in your face 4+ times per week. I would prefer not seeing someone more than 2-3 times per week.

I am also in favor of small breaks when people are in relationships just as a reset. I mean sports have off-seasons because they are so punishing to the body. Relationships are so punishing to the emotions/psychiii , so why don't we promote breaks? And when I say a break, I don't mean a time in which you can do dirt, I literally mean, time apart. Time where you don't see/talk to that person. Let them be, and you be. Remove some of the dependence. Re-learn how to live alone and by yourself.

But the issue with this is people can't possibly fathom why someone wouldn't want to be around their person like that unless
A. They want to do dirt
B. They don't "really" care/love

And both are not true.

Time away makes the heart grow fonder. That phrase isn't a phrase for a reason.

Im feeling this idea lol. Random question, are you an introvert or extrovert.

 

[duo maxwell]

She is probably gonna come back I had breaks with this one chick, she kept coming back but the last time I found out she domed some other dude up. She claimed since i blocked her on social media she thought it was over and started to move on but whatever I say stand your ground if she wants a break then it's over. You sitting around wondering if she wants to be with you Is messed up and inconsiderate and you don't need that **** on your head too

 

[Ox.]

breaks are never good, expect the worst but hope for the best bro.

she's going to see life in another light and see things she hasn't and maybe you will get back together but don't expect it to be soon.

worry about you first and most importantly your little one. get better bro don't worry about the small stuff.

 

[HNL HI]

You may be able to talk it out but your actions will speak louder than words. Even if its over between you and your girl, your daughter doesn't deserve to be left behind cause of your addictions.