TAY: IT'S A MAN THING GINA

[Kaleo15]

Hey guys...I've hit that point in a relationship where it feels like there's nothing to talk about.
What do I do?

Second question: Is it immature to start ignoring the sexual desires of my girl cuz she knows that I'm typically always for "play time?"  I feel like she uses the fact that I'm almost always ready to go as a reason to not do stuff with me cuz she nkows she'll get it whenever she wants. I guess I'm trying to make her work for it .

I did that with a girlfriend once. She was in the mood, and I tried to play the "I'm too tired" card. Just cuz she would do it to me. She was persistent but I held my ground as hard as that was She was like, you can just lay there, I'll do all the work. Still told her I was too tired

It is bull though, girls know guys are always ready to go, and girls always pull excuses.

I do this all the time. Feels awesome when the ball is in your court.

 

[murkn3m]

This man Mugen needs his own dr. Phil show

 

[tdogg2k]

With a woman 90%( don't quote me as true[emoji]128516[/emoji]) of sex is mental and the other 10% is the act. Introduce different technics to her to visually and mentally stimulate both parties. Tell her how you feel and explore the world.
Sex is not always about grinding and positions. It's about transfering life force and feelings. I know ****** is looking at this post sideways but always have multiple resources in your life to have more fulfilling intimacy. Quick pumping and positions only work in pron, but actually learning breathing,mental, listening, using all five senses can make you a Superman Lover..
Try To Told You..
[emoji]9996[/emoji]️

Compltely right about this, I told my girl about this ancient tantric touching thing the japanese use. (I made up like 50% of it the other 50% was from a HBO Real Sex show on the topic I seen).. So i just started to lightly rub my fingers everywhere on her. and she got an orgasm on that alone.

even for those of you who are just smashing random jawns with no attachment this still applies to do more than just positions and smashing with the force of thor. different women take different ways of getting off truly. so with the randoms you can still wow them by touching them was the probably havent.

Of course you dont have to. but for those with signficant others. do more. show more. Feelings is a lot to them

 

[Coromanti]

Sex is a Very visceral act for men. It releases our angst, fears, pains and joys. But as the years have passed I learn new technics that can be applied just through conversation and breathing. Especially in LDR, you don't get as much time to spend or share your energy with that person. The best thing my wife introduced while she lived in Austin was tantric and meditation.
Yeah I know this ish is about to sound like some"hippy, save the world ish"[emoji]128516[/emoji][emoji]128516[/emoji]
But we would just place the phone on speaker and just meditate with each other or even with FaceTime we would just stare at each other and just get lost in each other's faces. Dude once she drove down, the sex was nuclear. It was different from phone sex, but that anticipation and that wanting, when I tell you the types of climaxes we had..

With a woman 90%( don't quote me as true[emoji]128516[/emoji]) of sex is mental and the other 10% is the act. Introduce different technics to her to visually and mentally stimulate both parties. Tell her how you feel and explore the world.
Sex is not always about grinding and positions. It's about transfering life force and feelings. I know ****** is looking at this post sideways but always have multiple resources in your life to have more fulfilling intimacy. Quick pumping and positions only work in pron, but actually learning breathing,mental, listening, using all five senses can make you a Superman Lover..
Try To Told You..
[emoji]9996[/emoji]️

Aight. I'll look into it.

Any good links on the subject?

 

[mugen81]

Aight. I'll look into it.
Any good links on the subject?

Don't have a specific link(because there are so many sources and variables they have for each sexual encounter) but Google is your best friend[emoji]128516[/emoji]
I know that's hella vague but I can't find our books at the moment, still getting acclimated to our new home and attic. Once I finish finals I'll parlay the actually book material to you..

 

[tooeasy891]

Wasn't to into what? You smashing or the whole relationship aspect of it?

But sounds like she was only using you to satisfy her needs and get what she wanted. You were probably relevant to her at the time being and she probably let you smash cause she was curious or wasn't getting it from her other dudes or whatever.. But you did what you had to do to try and make things happen and now you gotta move on. I would just do you and if she hits you up keep it cordial and what not. Funny how we develop feels for the people we really want but they don't want us at the time. It happens man. Happens all the time. 

Thanks for the input. I dont know really, I was probably too slow to make a move at first mostly because I didnt want a relationship during summer..
A small update:
Went to a concert with her this saturday (had already bought the tickets). We both agreed that it had to be as friends and first thing she told me was that she had to sleep at home. Soo, we had a great time and she said that I showed her a side that she hadnt seen before, ended up with her going home with me and we had sex again.
The whole situation is just weird, haha, any thoughts on what I could do next?

 

[Coromanti]

 

Aight. I'll look into it.
Any good links on the subject?

Don't have a specific link(because there are so many sources and variables they have for each sexual encounter) but Google is your best friend[emoji]128516[/emoji]
I know that's hella vague but I can't find our books at the moment, still getting acclimated to our new home and attic. Once I finish finals I'll parlay the actually book material to you..

Thanks fam.

Excited to look into it.

Final Update:

I spoke to her and just laid out my grievances.  I don't know what changed since the last time I brought it up but she seemed to understand this time. She even apologized for her lack of reciprocity (cuz anything she want from me she get).

She said that she thought I was asking about sexual stuff to be a perv/just cause I can as her bf.  That's why before she used to tell me to watch pr0n.

I think she gets it now that I actually look forward to seeing her as opposed to seeing any random female.

Feels goodman having that understanding.

 

[suberzat1]

Its all apart of communication

 

[airedweezy]

Hey guys...I've hit that point in a relationship where it feels like there's nothing to talk about.
What do I do?

Second question: Is it immature to start ignoring the sexual desires of my girl cuz she knows that I'm typically always for "play time?"  I feel like she uses the fact that I'm almost always ready to go as a reason to not do stuff with me cuz she nkows she'll get it whenever she wants. I guess I'm trying to make her work for it .

I've been with my girl for 6 years fam since she was in 12th grade and I've gone throw going threw Tha sex thing as well. First 2 years we would go at it every dam day no matter where who was around the house yadda yadda. Now these last 4 years it's been tough but she's brought up good points as to why she's slowed down the desire. What I am saying talk to your girl. I did and yes it caused some arguments but we've both seen and Atleast considered each other view points.


And that whole talking thing that should come natural. Half the time me and my girl ramble on. As soon as I see her bam the convo starts flowing. Just talk to your girl what iver learned is never be to scared to tell her straight out how you feel and what you want from your relationships.


I see you did some of that glad it worked out fam communication is key!

 

[hennessy]

My girl goes to an Ivy League school and her parents have unrealistic expectations of her. She got her first couple of B's this semester and her mom told her it must be because she's distracted with me. My girl called me in tears because her mom has been relentlessly calling up and lecturing her about grades saying that she's slipping and it's not a coincidence that she got her first less than perfect mark once she got into the relationship with me. My girl can't reason with her at all. Tried to explain she's taking very difficult courses and that he still has a really high GPA and can't be perfect. Mom has this idea stuck in her head that it's my fault all of the sudden.

Our cultures are very different so I haven't even met her parents yet. Now I think that meeting will be postponed even longer. Meanwhile my girl has stayed over at my parents house visiting them with me numerous times and my parents don't care if we sleep in the same bed.

My dad is dropping my girl off at the airport this Friday to come stay with me for a week. She has a week off to study for finals and she wanted to come stay with me. Initially, and especially after these convos with her mom, I asked her if she thought it'd be a better idea to stay at school to study with friends and use the school resources before finals. And I didn't want her to study less for finals because of me. But she insisted it wouldn't be a problem and she'd study while I was at work during the day and we'd hang out on nights and weekends. She said that she studies for everything alone any way and that my apartment is a lot nicer than her dorm and quiet since no one is there during the day.

I'm really nervous her mom finds about this visit now and I'll just never be trusted/have a good relationship with her parents. Her mom legit told her to stop talking to me and tell me not to visit her any more. Feels bad.

 

[ddh1122]

Thanks for the input. I dont know really, I was probably too slow to make a move at first mostly because I didnt want a relationship during summer..
A small update:
Went to a concert with her this saturday (had already bought the tickets). We both agreed that it had to be as friends and first thing she told me was that she had to sleep at home. Soo, we had a great time and she said that I showed her a side that she hadnt seen before, ended up with her going home with me and we had sex again.
The whole situation is just weird, haha, any thoughts on what I could do next?

Showed you a side she'd never seend before out of you - What did you do so special at this concert? Lol. Was it just intimacy and emotional connection in the spur of the moment within the vibes of the atmosphere?

But it sounds like she's just being selfish with her needs or she probably doesn't even know what she wants. I think you need to have one more little heart to heart/talk with her on where your relationship stands and if there's any possibility of taking it to the next level: if not, whats stopping it, why not, etc. Get some clarification so these "just happened" smashing sessions don't happen the way they do. 

 

[Coromanti]

I swear this is the last update:

Forgot to mention that I think it had to do with the fact that we were talking literally all day.  Like Yesterday we didn't really talk until the end of the day and it just flowed ike it used to.  Just need to give each other space I guess.

 

[hennessy]

Showed you a side she'd never seend before out of you - What did you do so special at this concert? Lol. Was it just intimacy and emotional connection in the spur of the moment within the vibes of the atmosphere?

But it sounds like she's just being selfish with her needs or she probably doesn't even know what she wants. I think you need to have one more little heart to heart/talk with her on where your relationship stands and if there's any possibility of taking it to the next level: if not, whats stopping it, why not, etc. Get some clarification so these "just happened" smashing sessions don't happen the way they do. 

I would do the opposite. Keep it casual, let her contact you again after these smashing sessions instead of you inviting her out again, don't have any talks with her on where your relationship stands. You have those talks you might scare her away again. There's no need to rush into an official relationship any way. If anything, she has to prove some worth to you first. So be casual instead of clingy, enjoy the time she chooses to spend with you but keep on pursuing other girls as well. The more you demonstrate your value to her, the more she will want to commit all of her time to you and want to be exclusive. That right to an exclusive relationship with you is something she has to earn my man. You're worth it. So stop chasing her, have fun, be great, and maybe it will turn into more.

 

[airedweezy]

hennessy

I say you tell your girl yall are staying in and studying and help her. It does kinda seem like your girl is trying to juggle you and school.

 

[ddh1122]

I would do the opposite. Keep it casual, let her contact you again after these smashing sessions instead of you inviting her out again, don't have any talks with her on where your relationship stands. You have those talks you might scare her away again. There's no need to rush into an official relationship any way. If anything, she has to prove some worth to you first. So be casual instead of clingy, enjoy the time she chooses to spend with you but keep on pursuing other girls as well. The more you demonstrate your value to her, the more she will want to commit all of her time to you and want to be exclusive. That right to an exclusive relationship with you is something she has to earn my man. You're worth it. So stop chasing her, have fun, be great, and maybe it will turn into more.

Yeah you have some good points in there. I was just thinking he should have that talk so he can decide whether he needs to complete cut her off and put his interest in someone else worth his time 

 

[hennessy]

Yeah you have some good points in there. I was just thinking he should have that talk so he can decide whether he needs to complete cut her off and put his interest in someone else worth his time 

I see. But they are having a good time together as (and I hate to label it this way) "friends with benefits" right now. No need to consider completely cutting her off. I think maybe she thought she had him all figured out and may have ruled him out because of that. Now he's showing her sides of him she didn't know about and she's becoming interested. So the ball is in his court and I think now he needs to let her make that effort to contact him, and try to chill (within reason; I'm not telling him to ignore her). Because yeah, he obviously has something to offer to her, she has some interest, but there is no need to even talk about a relationship since she danced around before. They should be smash buddies until she brings up wanting a relationship, or tells him she loves him or some **** then he'll know it's real.

 

[tooeasy891]

Showed you a side she'd never seend before out of you - What did you do so special at this concert? Lol. Was it just intimacy and emotional connection in the spur of the moment within the vibes of the atmosphere?

But it sounds like she's just being selfish with her needs or she probably doesn't even know what she wants. I think you need to have one more little heart to heart/talk with her on where your relationship stands and if there's any possibility of taking it to the next level: if not, whats stopping it, why not, etc. Get some clarification so these "just happened" smashing sessions don't happen the way they do. 

I was probably just more outgoing than usual, it was at a hip hop event..
Yeah I think youre right..
Should I try to play it like I just now have started to open up since theres no pressure and that if she liked the guy she she hooked up with that night we should try to take it to the next level?

 

[ddh1122]

I see. But they are having a good time together as (and I hate to label it this way) "friends with benefits" right now. No need to consider completely cutting her off. I think maybe she thought she had him all figured out and may have ruled him out because of that. Now he's showing her sides of him she didn't know about and she's becoming interested. 

Exactly - FWB. Just didn't want to say it cause I'm sure he already knew. And yeah all those points are valid.. It just seems like he's trying to take it to the next level and like he's not really interested in the FWB aspect of the relationship and all that

 

[ddh1122]

I was probably just more outgoing than usual, it was at a hip hop event..
Yeah I think youre right..
Should I try to play it like I just now have started to open up since theres no pressure and that if she liked the guy she she hooked up with that night we should try to take it to the next level?

Don't play anything - stay true to you. Don't switch up for nobody. It goes in line with what Mugen was saying in an earlier post 

"The one thing you have to learn is to never bend or break your core values as a man for a woman. Always let a woman compliment you instead of defining you."

Read my previous post + Hennessys and take it all into consideration. Ask yourself the why's and the what's of what you want from this girl. You wanna be exclusive? FWB? Relationship? etc. 

 

[tooeasy891]

^Thanks a lot for the input guys.
Maybe the best thing is to just stay FWB and see where it leads for now

 

[ddh1122]

Maybe the best thing is to just stay FWB and see where it leads for now

Tread lightly. Be prepared for them feels to come out. I think you know what to do though. You got it.

 

[mugen81]

At some point in time, we all have to take responsibility for our lives. I know it's easier said then done, but YOU as a person has to live this life. There is no 1-UP/Extra Man. I have dated girls heavily influenced by their parents only to end up miserable in their adult lives because they kept trying to please their loved ones. As people get older, that is were resentment and regrets build up so high that they do wild ish just to feel alive. This is why we have created a pill popping society of people just to ease the pain of our dreams and desires instead of actually going out there, thugging it out and finding our true purpose and path in life(depression,anxiety, not included in that statement).
Look fam you can't take that stuff personally. Yeah it may sting and even have you feeling some type of way, but you are not mentally harming or causing her physical pain. Until she is ready to take the reigns of her life, there is nothing you can do but either two things:
Keep encouraging her to reach for the stars and reaffirming you love her and want her to shine and to be the best she can be.
Walk Away..
Only two options. If she is worth it, be candid and honest with her. Most graduates in today's economy can't get jobs because they have no experience. Employers could give two ***** about her grades. Two things they truly consider:
Experience and What Can You Bring To Their Bottom Line.
She has to be the one to stand on her own two feet, if she can't be about that life, just imagine what it would be like if you two are married. In a relationship, you both protect each other, you both ride for each other.
Don't ever let somebody make you feel less than in this world. Don't ever let parents( even though I'm about to be one) have you second guessing your abilities and beliefs as a man.
I've dealt with culture bias but once they saw I'm a stand up dude that not only takes care of their daughter but doesn't waiver on his convictions, that Ra-Ra **** they were on stopped.
Love Yourself First Always..
[emoji]9996[/emoji]️

 

[deezyspits]

you're a good man mugen. 

 

[sonoftony]

yambily,

I'm bout to get out my comfort zone and do something I've never done before. I'm gonna try speed dating

I figured **** it why not, so I signed up to some group on meetup. I then signed up to the speed dating group and was put on a waiting list till more chicks sign up. I'm still technically new to my area, I've been living in south florida for 2 years almost and I need to put myself out there to meet new people. I'm 31 and I'm pretty busy with work and I wanted to try something new. Not even 20 mins ago, I got the call from the group that if I'm still in because more girls signed up. The event is tomorrow night . So to make it brief, I get to meet with 10 different yambs and have a 6 minute convo with them each. We will both have a match sheet. If there is a match, the group will give me her email and vice versa and we take it from there. If not, well there's 9 more . If I can come out with at least one, I'll be good but most importantly, I'm gonna have a blast.

I'll do my best to update you guys afterwords

Has anyone here done speed dating?

 

[suberzat1]

Never done speed dating but seems interesting. Yea keep us posted I don't see anything wrong with speed dating