the thread about nothing...

Grine226 said:
Anybody knows any funny dirty jokes? Like this one...

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"
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lol this is similar to a dilemma question I once heard.

let’s say a mothered comes at night and ties you and your wife up. He gives you a choice.

he can either bang your wife until sunrise while you watch

or he can bang you until sunrise while your wife watches. What would you choose
 
アキラ said:
I work in entry level IT... ish is a pain

“is your WiFi turned on”
“My what!? My wee-fee?!”
“No, your W-I-F-I”
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By default I become the family IT tech and I deal with this constantly.
 
Fozzy Badfeet said:
By default I become the family IT tech and I deal with this constantly.
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l-41727-what-you-see-vs-what-your-family-sees-when-you-reset-the-router.jpg



kickvicisous said:
Thats exactly how I found my career. I'm sure I've already shared the Playstation story
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I think i missed it... im interested though :nerd:
 
Grine226 said:
Anybody knows any funny dirty jokes? Like this one...

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"
Click to expand...

An elementary school teacher tells her class “The word of the day is DEFINITELY. Can you give me some examples”
One of the kids say “The sky is definitely blue”
The teacher says “no, sometimes the sky can be grey or sometimes black”
Another kid says “grass is definitely green”
The teacher says “no, sometimes it turns yellow or brown”
Another kid asks “Teacher, do farts have lumps!?”
the teacher says “what on earth does that have to do with the word of the day. Farts do not have lumps”
So the kid says “well then. I DEFINITELY just pooped myself”
 
AAAAAHHHHHEEEEMMMMM.......
So when the PS3 was about to come out the jump in hardware was drastic as hell compared to the PS2. That being said I did research on it cause I wanted to make sure I could play it to its fullest capabilites (cabling types, HDD specs for replacements, etc). After Hella saving and selling 98% of my PS2 collection me and my brother convinced my mom to help purchase it for Christmas (She loves HD movies, Blu ray was a big thing for her). She said it counted as I gift for both of us so that was it.

Anyway during the hunt we went through a lot trying to track them down, ended up getting cool with a classmate who aunt worked for UPS and he was able to provide shipment schedules. A week of calls later I found it at a GameStop, befoe that **** even came off the truck their was a line, my mom's their and I'm home on the phone with her providing instructions and asking the correct questions (I love that woman), almost an hour later she comes home with the reservation receipt. Merry Christmas right :nthat:

BUT their was one thing I did not account for, we had one of the earliest Big Screen TVs (with the large back) and it did not have an HDMI cable. It did have component cable ports so the search for that began. For some odd *** reason Sony actually had their own branded cables but they didn't release till Easter the following year. Anyway my mom took it upon herself to hit best buy and they told her they could not guarantee the off brand cables would work unless........get ready......THEY INSTALL THE SYSTEM THEMSELVES. THEY WANTED TO CHARGE HER 150 BUCKS TO "INSTALL" THE SYSTEM IN OUR HOUSE. She called me and told me she was going to do it because she thought it was a good idea.

Obviously I said no and when Christmas came I showed her how to install it. She felt she was being taking advantage of and that let me know when it comes to technology people are so clueless they will pay for any and everything (Software installations, malware scans, Windows updates you name it) and you can charge them ALOT. Its foul as hell but, I got to make a living

Its still **** the geek squad for life. Hooked my ps3 up in 15 minutes
 
Yall remember when Blu-Ray players were 1000 dollars? Crazy, but thats how I got moms to agree to purchase the ps3, cause she wanted to watch HD movies
 
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Grine226 said:
zmaqbool zmaqbool

Inna Lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un!

My condolences to you and your family brother. May Allah dwell your mother in Jannatul Firdaus and mercy on her soul.

May Allah give you patience and healing during these difficult times.

If you ever need to get stuff off your cheat, my DM is always open.
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Shukraan brother. Ameen, Suma Ameen!

Everyday is a new challenge but we're praying & staying close. Family is all that we have. We're all very much at peace when we go visit her

Thank you so very much for your kind words & duas brother. I'll keep your DM in mind. Allah bless you & your family
 
zmaqbool zmaqbool my condolences to you and yours my brother. I can’t imagine how your feeling and what your going thru right now especially in the midst of all this other ******** that’s going on. My PM’s are ALWAYS open my brother don’t give a damn what time it is. Mom dukes is in a better place now and I already know she most definitely left this earth most proud of the son she raised. She might not be here physically but trust and believe her spirit lives on. Hold your head my g I’m definitely here if you need me.
 
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