the thread about nothing...

Damn a lot of the interesting people on NT are gone. :frown:

Banned or lost interest themselves. A big F.U. to the ones who got themselves banned in case they’re lurking :lol:
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I'm getting the impression Amy doesn't intend to tell her psychiatrist about her suicidal thoughts after all.
I asked her if she told her psychiatrist about it yet and her response was "No, I'm not seeing her any time soon. But [the suicidal thoughts] aren't really there anymore. She knows I've had those in the past but oh well, nothing to worry about."

So for now I'm still the sole person she opened up to about it unfortunately. On the bright side, she says she's been feeling better since discussing it with me and has been on a streak of largely happy days since then. Some mild mood swings but I usually suceeded in cheering her back up somehow.

Thankfully our boss has been providing me with some advice on how to deal with the suicidal thoughts conversations with Amy. I can at least get a second opinion now from someone who actually works in mental health and will keep everything confidential.
 
I'm getting the impression Amy doesn't intend to tell her psychiatrist about her suicidal thoughts after all.
I asked her if she told her psychiatrist about it yet and her response was "No, I'm not seeing her any time soon. But [the suicidal thoughts] aren't really there anymore. She knows I've had those in the past but oh well, nothing to worry about."

So for now I'm still the sole person she opened up to about it unfortunately. On the bright side, she says she's been feeling better since discussing it with me and has been on a streak of largely happy days since then. Some mild mood swings but I usually suceeded in cheering her back up somehow.

Thankfully our boss has been providing me with some advice on how to deal with the suicidal thoughts conversations with Amy. I can at least get a second opinion now from someone who actually works in mental health and will keep everything confidential.
its pretty rad someone trusts u with their feelings like that
 
Aunt and I were carrying trays of food off the truck for a small party yesterday
My cousin's (aunt's son) 22yo girlfriend sat nearby, just looking at us sweating/carrying these heavy trays

Cousin's girl has told me before: she doesn't know how to get on my aunt's/future MIL's good side
Cousin and his girl have been together 5 years, my aunt still DGAF about the girl
Auntie even told me in our native language (in front of cousin's girl): "Imagine having a kid who doesn't offer a hand to help out"

It's a matter of compassion, helping the fam, putting in effort
Should I tell his girl what's up and how she can get on aunt's good side?
Or is it not my business?
 
Aunt and I were carrying trays of food off the truck for a small party yesterday
My cousin's (aunt's son) 22yo girlfriend sat nearby, just looking at us sweating/carrying these heavy trays

Cousin's girl has told me before: she doesn't know how to get on my aunt's/future MIL's good side
Cousin and his girl have been together 5 years, my aunt still DGAF about the girl
Auntie even told me in our native language (in front of cousin's girl): "Imagine having a kid who doesn't offer a hand to help out"

It's a matter of compassion, helping the fam, putting in effort
Should I tell his girl what's up and how she can get on aunt's good side?
Or is it not my business?
Has this girl put in any effort?
 
Aunt and I were carrying trays of food off the truck for a small party yesterday
My cousin's (aunt's son) 22yo girlfriend sat nearby, just looking at us sweating/carrying these heavy trays

Cousin's girl has told me before: she doesn't know how to get on my aunt's/future MIL's good side
Cousin and his girl have been together 5 years, my aunt still DGAF about the girl
Auntie even told me in our native language (in front of cousin's girl): "Imagine having a kid who doesn't offer a hand to help out"

It's a matter of compassion, helping the fam, putting in effort
Should I tell his girl what's up and how she can get on aunt's good side?
Or is it not my business?
One thing that strikes me hard about "relationship" talk on NT is how men tend to hold no value in building up another person. Very selfish mindset. Imma get mine and **** any static that may come.

I say this now in relation to your situation as this is a perfect opportunity to try and build someone up. Even in the long run, if it doesnt work out between the couple for whatever reason, at least an effort was made to better each other for the next person that comes along and just the world in general. We dont need more ignorant, thoughtless people walking around.

Now how the conversation can actually be approached is more difficult for me to hash out. You dont want to necessarily come down on the person, but at the same time I'd want to make expectations clear for sure (given that they've been together for 5 years, either expectations are already clear or they've got a long way to go in the communication department). But build this person up. Make them better for us all.
 
One thing that strikes me hard about "relationship" talk on NT is how men tend to hold no value in building up another person. Very selfish mindset. Imma get mine and **** any static that may come.

I say this now in relation to your situation as this is a perfect opportunity to try and build someone up. Even in the long run, if it doesnt work out between the couple for whatever reason, at least an effort was made to better each other for the next person that comes along and just the world in general. We dont need more ignorant, thoughtless people walking around.

Now how the conversation can actually be approached is more difficult for me to hash out. You dont want to necessarily come down on the person, but at the same time I'd want to make expectations clear for sure (given that they've been together for 5 years, either expectations are already clear or they've got a long way to go in the communication department). But build this person up. Make them better for us all.

maq25060 maq25060 , you always come through with the gems.

I'm all about encouragement, helping, and bettering the world in general. Not to draw comparisons, but I teach inner city kids + kids with autism/disabilities, so I understand the inherent difficulty.
I just don't wanna be "that guy" who oversteps. After all, she's not my girl, but I love and encourage my cousin (her man), so in that vein, she's family to me.
And I've always stressed to my family the importance of selflessness, compassion, and going the extra mile.
 

Always wondered how he could have enough time to paint people on the subway. What if the person gets out at the next station?

Also how is he carrying all the colours he needs on the subway?
 
One thing that strikes me hard about "relationship" talk on NT is how men tend to hold no value in building up another person. Very selfish mindset. Imma get mine and **** any static that may come.

I say this now in relation to your situation as this is a perfect opportunity to try and build someone up. Even in the long run, if it doesnt work out between the couple for whatever reason, at least an effort was made to better each other for the next person that comes along and just the world in general. We dont need more ignorant, thoughtless people walking around.

Now how the conversation can actually be approached is more difficult for me to hash out. You dont want to necessarily come down on the person, but at the same time I'd want to make expectations clear for sure (given that they've been together for 5 years, either expectations are already clear or they've got a long way to go in the communication department). But build this person up. Make them better for us all.
Its easy to do if that person ask "why doesn't she like me?", just tell her. They could've asked said girl to help, maybe they did, idk.

They may have had talks about her being more involved in the in the past. If they're frequently around each other I'm not sure how this wouldn't have come up, but 5yrs of not catching on as to why someone doesn't like you if its superficial and easily fixable is odd. It's hard to gauge a 5yr relationship in 2 fairly short post though.
 
its pretty rad someone trusts u with their feelings like that
I was very surprised when Amy told me about those suicidal thoughts, especially considering I've only known her since January of this year. We both do volunteer work for a volunteer organization focused on the mental health of students in the area of Ghent.
Our organization hosts group talking sessions on Discord for students in the area of Ghent so they can vent about their worries anonymously. The 'moderators' host the discussion and must have completed a training program by the Ghent university psychologist. It's also required that they're an active student, most of them are naturally psychology or med students.

Originally these group talking sessions were only in person at the university of Ghent but we had to change to online sessions due to Covid, which is why our boss offered me a position. I'm very good friends with our boss, she's the girlfriend of one of my closest friends.
For now my role is basically tech support, though I also do all the English translations for the promo team. Amy is a moderator and is about halfway through her Masters in clinical psychology.

She said she decided to tell me about the suicidal thoughts because I've (somehow) made her feel "very comfortable" in our conversations ever since we started talking regularly, despite only knowing eachother for a couple months.
 
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