the thread about nothing...

[maq25060]

Recently discussed this with my girl as well as she is so very kind hearted and very rarely puts herself first.

So we had a situation where she was the only person available to help out a family member. Shes been the only one helping with this situation since it popped up though. Of course I told her she needs to concern herself with our kids well being followed by hers. And i actually kind of told her she cant do it. But i thought about it...i thought about how she desires to be helpful...plus the fact that its her family...i told her she should do what she feels is right. And of course she felt it was right to help. (After she thought about it on her own though she decided against it).

I had to remind myself that if a person is good to their core, they should not stop being that way because of my opinion or anyone else's. Be true to yourself...be smart, obviously, but be true. If not helping in a situation will cause you to think about it non-stop...question your decision over and over, and just make you feel bad in the end, then you would have been better off just helping, most likely.

 

[maq25060]

When you're doing someone a favor, ask yourself would this person do the same for me? Most of the time, you know the answer and that should determine whether or not you should go through with it.

Nah, that shouldn't determine whether you do it or not. I get the logic, but it is this logic that makes us hate people. Help because it's the right thing to do and because you're able and willing. Not because the favor may hypothetically be returned if roles were reversed.

 

[freakydestroyer]

Good advice..

Took me a while to figure this out. Hope it helps someone out there avoid the mistakes I made.

 

[Dubby]

everything being discussed in here right now is part of the reason why im studying Nihilism. And Stoicism

 

[Bad Moon Rison]

Nah, that shouldn't determine whether you do it or not. I get the logic, but it is this logic that makes us hate people. Help because it's the right thing to do and because you're able and willing. Not because the favor may hypothetically be returned if roles were reversed.

I got IDGAF attitude when helping “friends”. A lot of “only your friend when IT benefits them” people out there. I’ve been in situations where I’ll help a someone out and then when I need help some time later they’ll hit me w/ “sucks to be you.”

 

[Bad Moon Rison]

freakydestroyer this is basically me

 

[Dubby]

freakydestroyer this is basically me

Dont mess with buddy but the message resonates with me. .

 

[freakydestroyer]

Nah, that shouldn't determine whether you do it or not. I get the logic, but it is this logic that makes us hate people. Help because it's the right thing to do and because you're able and willing. Not because the favor may hypothetically be returned if roles were reversed.

I think you misunderstood my message. I was not suggesting that I expect the favor to be returned or reciprocated. But I have come to find out that there are people who I would break my back for, but those same people wouldn't bend their's to help me if it was the other way around. Unfortunately, I've come across enough people who are this way. So I use this "assessment" as a way to be better safe than sorry.

 

[Naruto]

 

[bendover]

Nah, that shouldn't determine whether you do it or not. I get the logic, but it is this logic that makes us hate people. Help because it's the right thing to do and because you're able and willing. Not because the favor may hypothetically be returned if roles were reversed.

Same.
If you want to see the world be a better place start by being the change.
I truly believe people will do favors out of the kindness of their heart and not for personal benefit.

 

[maq25060]

I think you misunderstood my message. I was not suggesting that I expect the favor to be returned or reciprocated. But I have come to find out that there are people who I would break my back for, but those same people wouldn't bend their's to help me if it was the other way around. Unfortunately, I've come across enough people who are this way. So I use this "assessment" as a way to be better safe than sorry.

No that's not what I'm trying to imply. I'm simply pointing out that you are basing your your willingness to be helpful on whether or not you feel someone would do the same for you. And what I'm saying is that's not right. You should just do it because you're able and willing. What the other person would or would not do in a hypothetical future situation should not be of any consequence.

Obviously the conversation is more nuanced than oh you should just do it or you shouldn't do it. But when I'm getting at is that it definitely should not be based on what someone else is willing to do for you it should be solely based on what you as a person are willing (And capable) to do.

 

[freakydestroyer]

Same.
If you want to see the world be a better place start by being the change.
I truly believe people will do favors out of the kindness of their heart and not for personal benefit.

No that's not what I'm trying to imply. I'm simply pointing out that you are basing your your willingness to be helpful on whether or not you feel someone would do the same for you. And what I'm saying is that's not right. You should just do it because you're able and willing. What the other person would or would not do in a hypothetical future situation should not be of any consequence.

Obviously the conversation is more nuanced than oh you should just do it or you shouldn't do it. But when I'm getting at is that it definitely should not be based on what someone else is willing to do for you it should be solely based on what you as a person are willing to do.

I get that. The situations you two are thinking of are like helping an elderly or handicapped stranger up the stairs. Of course, I'm not going to expect anything in return. I was referring to situations like if you bail your homeboy out of jail and you don't necessarily expect him to pay you back the money, at least not soon. A couple months go by and you need a dogsitter. A couple mutual friends suggest to homeboy that he should step in to help. Homeboy dodges it like Neo in the Matrix. This is a true story from personal experience btw, but I am not either of the mentioned parties.

 

[Bad Moon Rison]

 

[maq25060]

I get that. The situations you two are thinking of are like helping an elderly or handicapped stranger up the stairs. Of course, I'm not going to expect anything in return. I was referring to situations like if you bail your homeboy out of jail and you don't necessarily expect him to pay you back the money, at least not soon. A couple months go by and you need a dogsitter. A couple mutual friends suggest to homeboy that he should step in to help. Homeboy dodges it like Neo in the Matrix. This is a true story from personal experience btw, but I am not either of the mentioned parties.

No I am speaking to helping friends. But also I am not speaking towards lending money. I personally am not in a position where money is not a nothing situation to me. I think it is very smart advice to only lend money you're willing to lose and I have not been in a position to be willing to lose money and quite some time

 

[maq25060]

That plays into my willing and capable part of the discussion. I personally am not capable of lending money because I can't have that money ba lost at any point in time. I just simply would not lend out money to friend or stranger otherwise. Now I would volunteer my time to help out a friend that needs to be picked up or had a flat tire or situations where I can be of use. But I don't do the money s***

 

[maq25060]

And if a friend would not be willing to understand that I'm not capable of lending money well then that's on them

 

[maq25060]

Hey but you know what though? I was also the same guy that said if a friend gave me $100 and I won 50000 at the casino I'm only paying the friend back 100 so obviously I'm not some super kind-hearted person myself

 

[freakydestroyer]

No I am speaking to helping friends. But also I am not speaking towards lending money. I personally am not in a position where money is not a nothing situation to me. I think it is very smart advice to only lend money you're willing to lose and I have not been in a position to be willing to lose money and quite some time

Come on let's be real. In this day and age, "help" among friends usually involves money. I'm not saying that all favors are expected to be reciprocated, nor should they be equal in monetary value.

But let's say you spent two hours helping a friend move into his apartment. There is heavy lifting involved and you had to sacrifice missing a football game or time with family.

A year later, you need a ride to the airport and you call this friend to help. He said he can't because he has certain obligations. You somehow find out later he was at so and so's house playing Madden. Wouldn't you think twice before helping him the next time around?

 

[maq25060]

Come on let's be real. In this day and age, "help" among friends usually involves money. I'm not saying that all favors are expected to be reciprocated, nor should they be equal in monetary value.

But let's say you spent two hours helping a friend move into his apartment. There is heavy lifting involved and you had to sacrifice missing a football game or time with family.

A year later, you need a ride to the airport and you call this friend to help. He said he can't because he has certain obligations. You somehow find out later he was at so and so's house playing Madden. Wouldn't you think twice before helping him the next time around?

Think twice? Most certainly. Base my decision on whether I help him or not on that previous situation? Absolutely not

 

[freakydestroyer]

Think twice? Most certainly. Base my decision on whether I help him or not on that previous situation? Absolutely not

I think your logic is flawed, but I am not passing judgement. You choose to conduct yourself as you see fit. If I helped someone and they do not help me when I am in need, all while being fully capable then I will charge them to the game.

At some point in time I would've ran through a wall for those who I thought were down for me, but come to find out were actually not. It can be a fatal mistake and has set me back a number of years. But I'm glad I learned relatively early in life because I see people twice my age making the same mistake.

 

[maq25060]

I think your logic is flawed, but I am not passing judgement. You choose to conduct yourself as you see fit. If I helped someone and they do not help me when I am in need, all while being fully capable then I will charge them to the game.

At some point in time I would've ran through a wall for those who I thought were down for me, but come to find out were actually not. It can be a fatal mistake and has set me back a number of years. But I'm glad I learned relatively early in life because I see people twice my age making the same mistake.

I think you learned a flawed lesson. You still my dog though

 

[freakydestroyer]

I think you learned a flawed lesson. You still my dog though

Maybe you haven't encountered as many disloyal people. If that is the case, consider yourself lucky.

 

[Thierry Henry]

she was looking good in all those dresses, she'll get this D religiously

This girl has been my IG crush for a minute She's mixed but man...

those DSL's on point...wood

 

[jjs]

Was supposed to have a double class tonight.

Teacher didn't post the second case online so we left early

 

[Roderick Kingsley]

So a company in San Francisco wants to offer me a job interview for one of their positions.
I get to move back home with my parents if I get it.
The pay is really good too, so I'm hoping for the best.
Wish me luck!