the thread about nothing...

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How do you get your significant other to downsize their stuff in your home? It’s a mental illness issue at this point and I’m not sure what to do other than break up. Use this picture as an example. What do you do when they believe every single thing is significant?
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How do you get your significant other to downsize their stuff in your home? It’s a mental illness issue at this point and I’m not sure what to do other than break up. Use this picture as an example. What do you do when they believe every single thing is significant?
IMG_0911.jpeg
Packaging is not significant. Go beyond what they're saying and throw away all the packaging. That will eliminate a significant amount of the clutter.
All the other clutter, organize it, put it in boxes and stack it up.
 
Packaging is not significant. Go beyond what they're saying and throw away all the packaging. That will eliminate a significant amount of the clutter.
All the other clutter, organize it, put it in boxes and stack it up.

That packaging was a family heirloom passed down from great grandma. What do you do?
 
How do you get your significant other to downsize their stuff in your home? It’s a mental illness issue at this point and I’m not sure what to do other than break up. Use this picture as an example. What do you do when they believe every single thing is significant?
IMG_0911.jpeg

😬

if i was to have to stick w/this person, i’d just make the unilateral decision to move/put things to a storage space, preferably off site…then try address any attempts to accumulate more stuff and/or disorder/disorganize spaces in their home
 
That packaging was a family heirloom passed down from great grandma. What do you do?
"No, it's an empty Cap'n Crunch box. In the trash. This? This is the bagel bag from the bagels we bought... for New Years. Trash. Empty keurig box? Trash."

That's what I mean when I say packaging. People that live like that will typically have packaging all over the place. Empty sliced cheese packaging, empty plastic bags that go inside the cereal boxes, empty cookie cartons, torn open envelopes that have absolutely nothing in them; all just empty packaging.
When they're gone or asleep, start tossing it.
Then organize & stack up everything else.
 
"No, it's an empty Cap'n Crunch box. In the trash. This? This is the bagel bag from the bagels we bought... for New Years. Trash. Empty keurig box? Trash."

That's what I mean when I say packaging. People that live like that will typically have packaging all over the place. Empty sliced cheese packaging, empty plastic bags that go inside the cereal boxes, empty cookie cartons, torn open envelopes that have absolutely nothing in them; all just empty packaging.
When they're gone or asleep, start tossing it.
Then organize & stack up everything else.

Not trash sorry. I mean THINGS. Donald Duck mug from Disneyland 1991. Guitar pick from Atlantis morsette concert 2019. Porcelain doll from grandma. Think those kinds of items. But imagine a 2,000 square foot home with 4 bedrooms filled floor to ceiling with these things. Some worth money, some passed down directly from deceased parents. A garage filled ground to ceiling with tools and car parts. 2 sheds filled floor to ceiling with guns and gun making parts & accessories.

would probably take two people 5 or 6 years to clean and organize if they did it during their free time.
 
Not trash sorry. I mean THINGS. Donald Duck mug from Disneyland 1991. Guitar pick from Atlantis morsette concert 2019. Porcelain doll from grandma. Think those kinds of items. But imagine a 2,000 square foot home with 4 bedrooms filled floor to ceiling with these things. Some worth money, some passed down directly from deceased parents. A garage filled ground to ceiling with tools and car parts. 2 sheds filled floor to ceiling with guns and gun making parts & accessories.

would probably take two people 5 or 6 years to clean and organize if they did it during their free time.

So a hoarder basically?

Some people don’t get out that mindset and honestly you might be sol trying to get them to clean up their act. Some people love clutter and unorganized mess.

If it’s to the point of an entire house filled with ish, cut your loses or make a call to the show Hoarders to help out because ain’t no way.
 
Not trash sorry. I mean THINGS. Donald Duck mug from Disneyland 1991. Guitar pick from Atlantis morsette concert 2019. Porcelain doll from grandma. Think those kinds of items. But imagine a 2,000 square foot home with 4 bedrooms filled floor to ceiling with these things. Some worth money, some passed down directly from deceased parents. A garage filled ground to ceiling with tools and car parts. 2 sheds filled floor to ceiling with guns and gun making parts & accessories.

would probably take two people 5 or 6 years to clean and organize if they did it during their free time.
Okay well that description doesn't match the picture you showed.
No worries. :)
Sounds like a hoarder, more like this:
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2 questions:
1. Do you live in the space?
2. Do you suspect biohazardous danger? A lot of times people who live like that welcome rats. My dad was a hoarder and when he died, my sister and I found 2 dead crows in all that mess.
 
How do you get your significant other to downsize their stuff in your home? It’s a mental illness issue at this point and I’m not sure what to do other than break up. Use this picture as an example. What do you do when they believe every single thing is significant?
IMG_0911.jpeg

it’s a psychological issue so trying to solve the surface problem (which is clutter and hoarding) really will not work. People have deep seated beliefs and issues and they simply don’t see what you see.

If this is truly someone you wish to be with long term i’d suggest you work with them to get them into a regular psychological or psychiatric counseling for a few months. They need to talk through with someone and frankly usually not their partner.

And then once you’ve reached a healthy place actually doing it while they’re gone is the best approach. Say they go on vacation for a week or something just getting it done then will be the only way it works.

TLDR it’s a long winded path and no guarantee they’ll change. Have to be willing to work through it.
 
it’s a psychological issue so trying to solve the surface problem (which is clutter and hoarding) really will not work. People have deep seated beliefs and issues and they simply don’t see what you see.

If this is truly someone you wish to be with long term i’d suggest you work with them to get them into a regular psychological or psychiatric counseling for a few months. They need to talk through with someone and frankly usually not their partner.

And then once you’ve reached a healthy place actually doing it while they’re gone is the best approach. Say they go on vacation for a week or something just getting it done then will be the only way it works.

TLDR it’s a long winded path and no guarantee they’ll change. Have to be willing to work through it.
All of this.


I’ve helped a few clean things up completely, just for them to turn around and have things everywhere again a month or so later. For sanity sake, it isn’t worth it.
 
Okay well that description doesn't match the picture you showed.
No worries. :)
Sounds like a hoarder, more like this:
1000019035.jpg

1000019037.webp


2 questions:
1. Do you live in the space?
2. Do you suspect biohazardous danger? A lot of times people who live like that welcome rats. My dad was a hoarder and when he died, my sister and I found 2 dead crows in all that mess.

EXACTLY like the pictures you just showed. We don’t live in the house, but both her parents passed away about 2 years ago and we are getting ready to move into that house. And every room looks like that because her parents were hoarders. Her mom lived in the house since she was 2 years old and bought it from HER parents in the 70’s. Generations of hoarding.

Everything is clean, but it’s mountains of stuff and she is not wanting to get rid most of it. I’m on vacation right now and I just spent back-to-back 10 hour days boxing and sorting things from just 2 rooms. And it doesn’t look like we even put a single dent in any of it.

Yesterday ended with her storming out of the house crying because I think her precious things are all junk that needs to go and who am I to tell her that she needs to get rid of all her family belongings. I’m so stuck. AITAH? Do I try to be as supportive as I can or do I need to take the firm “get over it. It’s just junk. Let go. I’m not living in this mess.” type stance?

As it stands, I’m predicting it would take 5-10 years to sort through all this thoroughly. If we were to try and sell some stuff here and there, and keep some stuff in storage that still takes every minute of a persons free time to do. I’ve told her I’m not living my life like that and so far I’m being vilified.
 
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