To my NT fam that grew up without their dad

[a blinkin]

No sap thread. Let's try not to get too sentimental. I didn't want to make this thread on Father's Day because I didn't want it to somehow take away from the celebration of fathers out there.


I'm curious about what it'll be like when you have kids of your own. What influences will you draw from? What sort of values will you instill in them? Ever feel like you'll have a tough time being a dad since you didn't have one growing up?

 

[ksteezy]

I think I'll be ok by my kids.

My dad actually passed on Father's Day 31 years ago.

 

[Good Ol J.R]

I know for a fact that my kids are going to get a great amount of love from me. I just want to teach them how to be great people and to contribute positive energy to our society.

I don't think it'll have a negative impact because we continue to grow as men even after we become fathers. All we're doing is teaching them what we know AND what we learn along the way.

 

[sooperhooper]

I will definitely give my kids the attention and love they deserve. It's tough growing up without a male figure that actually takes the time to instill the values in you that contribute to a young boy becoming a man. I'm an only child, I had a step dad but I wouldn't say he did anything special or showed me any extra attention. He was basically my mom's husband and he didn't mistreat me. I'm not even mad at that. I don't have a big family and I had to teach myself a lot of things. Some I got great at, and some I didn't, but I'm damn proud of the man I became/am becoming.

Now that I'm older, I 100% see areas in my life where having a father figure would've helped me. It took me a while to develop a work ethic, something that is mainly the dad's job. Also I'm a bit sensitive, something else that would likely be eliminated with a dad in the house showing you the ropes.

I talk to my dad about 3 times a year. We have a cordial relationship, I used to be mad bitter that he wasn't there for me, but now i look at it a bit differently. I don't know the exact situation, I may have talked to my mom about it here or there in the past, but it's water under the bridge now. He never got to meet his pops so I'm not even sure what type of effect that plays on his psyche. I definitely don't see myself not being involved in my kids life, though.

 

[celticspride34]

No dad... and I cut my mother out of my life 4 years ago...

I'll be getting snipped soon and never plan on having kids...

 

[flacobey]

I pretty much saw everything of what NOT to do regarding fathering your kids. So I'll try to keep in mind some of the things I experienced as a young man that bothered me regarding the relationship with my dad when I'm raising my kids.

First lesson being don't have kids when you aren't mentally and financially prepared to provide for them.

 

[Good Ol J.R]

I will definitely give my kids the attention and love they deserve. It's tough growing up without a male figure that actually takes the time to instill the values in you that contribute to a young boy becoming a man. I'm an only child, I had a step dad but I wouldn't say he did anything special or showed me any extra attention. He was basically my mom's husband and he didn't mistreat me. I'm not even mad at that. I don't have a big family and I had to teach myself a lot of things. Some I got great at, and some I didn't, but I'm damn proud of the man I became/am becoming.

Now that I'm older, I 100% see areas in my life where having a father figure would've helped me. It took me a while to develop a work ethic, something that is mainly the dad's job. Also I'm a bit sensitive, something else that would likely be eliminated with a dad in the house showing you the ropes.

I talk to my dad about 3 times a year. We have a cordial relationship, I used to be mad bitter that he wasn't there for me, but now i look at it a bit differently. I don't know the exact situation, I may have talked to my mom about it here or there in the past, but it's water under the bridge now. He never got to meet his pops so I'm not even sure what type of effect that plays on his psyche. I definitely don't see myself not being involved in my kids life, though.

Minus the step dad part, this totally speaks to me my man. Especially the work ethic/sensitivity part. IT's hard to teach yourself these things but once you learn, it makes you a better man.

 

[picasso swerve]

My mom spoiled me and my bro with toys and games to replace my pops. It made me the materialistic person I am today, but theres pros and cons to that.

Anyways, no toy or game can replace anything.

 

[chrischamp]

Being a good father depend on so many factors, not only on the fact that you had a father or not. There's men who grew up with a good father figure but later became a total ******* to their wife and their kids. Your life experience play a good part in the equation, so it depends. For me, i didn't have a father growing up but i have so many father figure like my uncles and my grandfather, so i think i was well surrounded. One thing i know for sure, being an good father will be influenced by your choice of partner, some men want to be involve in their life kids but the mother make it difficult, or the relationship is so messed up that the father lack motivation to be an good father for the kids. Having an good partner make it much easier and less stressful, that's a guarantee. Sometimes, we blame men too quickly, we take for granted that men don't have emotions, but sometimes they're caught up with too much ******** they feel they need to step back and leave for their mental health. There are bad ones, but there are potential good fathers who try but giving the bad environment they can't.

 

[36 ounces]

I'm a teach my kids that before they become anything in life, they have to be people of good principles.