trying to help someone help themselves vol. dead end?

[MakeNTGreatAgain]

There is someone close to me whom is pretty dang sharp but for some reason lacks any sort of motivation
they work retail and when hired instantly got promoted to manager
they complained to me about not having a "good job"
so im suggesting community college resources to help and they miss deadlines to apply and when i try to get them to add into courses they don't really put effort in and chalk up the L

Should i keep trying as im the type to always believe people can dig deep and move forward or give up on them?

any tips on helping people in these situations who are sharp but lack that spark or motivation

 

[Beruseruku Desu]

you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

only corpses remain
Some of them ****** still breathing but they dead inside

 

[fargin]

Don't get too invested, some people's happy place is an unhappy place.

 

[mayor of nyc]

some people's happy place is an unhappy place.

Man, what are you talking about? You tried too hard to sound deep

Anyways….OP, your boyfriend might be suffering from depression and probably needs therapy. There’s nothing you can do.

 

[Mister Meaner]

It’s their life that they have to deal w/. Might be some internal struggles as suggested but you’re not qualified to help if so.

This person is telling you thus far that they’re good actually if they keep missing deadlines for opportunities to enhance their worth.

The complaining over no good jobs I’d either completely ignore or throw in their face as they continue to miss deadline after deadline against their own good.

 

[wayniac211]

digging deep is cool but you gotta work . if you don't work u don't eat

 

[ahat]

Sounds like a complacent bum. Can't help someone that doesn't wanna help themselves

 

[Belgium]

There is someone close to me whom is pretty dang sharp but for some reason lacks any sort of motivation
they work retail and when hired instantly got promoted to manager
they complained to me about not having a "good job"
so im suggesting community college resources to help and they miss deadlines to apply and when i try to get them to add into courses they don't really put effort in and chalk up the L

Should i keep trying as im the type to always believe people can dig deep and move forward or give up on them?

any tips on helping people in these situations who are sharp but lack that spark or motivation

You indicate this is someone pretty close to you so I would at some point have the conversation about how all your attempts to help have gone ignored for the most part.

Try to not sound accusatory if you do bring it up. Try bringing it up from an angle of concern. ‘Look, you’re a sharp guy but I noticed you’ve been missing deadlines etc when I tried to help put you on the path to a better job. I don’t know what’s going on but just know you can always talk to me if you’re struggling with something’

Somthing along those lines

 

[calibeebee]

Sometimes lack of motivation to go further can be a self confidence issue. Only way to get over that is to keep swimming in water over your head. Keep trying, keep failing, and eventually you find out for yourself that there’s nothing that can hurt you so to speak.

if that person is really close to you, don’t be afraid to keep being supportive. Call it being annoying or whatever, but if you mean the best intentions it’s all good. Lead by example. Show this person anything is possible. Make them wanna be a part of your supportive, successful circle. They might come around.

 

[jaymosenvied]

You can’t want it for them

 

[tr1ll]

The repeated complaining about not having a good job sounds like he doesn't know what they really want to do or they don't think they can do what they really want to do. Just ask them what they really want to do and how do they plan on doing it. Sometime people just need to hear their own logic aloud.

 

[Brownstone]

They don't want help, they want to complain. Next time they complain simply state.

Listen man, I care about you and think you have a lot of potential, but a real job requires you to have x qualifications, and if you don't have and aren't looking to acquire I can't help you, so either you start complaining elsewhere or become happy with where you at.

 

[kingkoopa]

only corpses remain
Some of them ****** still breathing but they dead inside

Don't get too invested, some people's happy place is an unhappy place.

digging deep is cool but you gotta work . if you don't work u don't eat

What’s are y’all doin

Anyway if you love the person, you don’t give up on them.

You just have to keep trying new methods.

I’m not saying let their problems get in the way of what you’re goals but giving up on a person you know needs help is weak.

Also how long has you’re friend been in this slump and how old are they?

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

 

[stay lurkin]

I have some dysfunction in my family, and have had some dysfunctional friends as well.

What I have learned is that no, you can’t help them; at least in the way you think you can or should be able to. It is a bitter pill to swallow but also freeing at the same time.

You can be kind though.

I have also noticed that working on myself mentally and spirituality puts me in a better place to be somewhat at peace with it all.

 

[aepps20]

You have a kind heart so never lose that about yourself. Each person has to go through life on their own merits and they have to make decisions on their own. Sometimes the thing holding someone back isn’t their ability, but their comfort. Your friend will only change when he decides that his current life is not what he wants and HE wants to change. Although he complains about his life those complaints aren’t real. Real complaints and discomfort spur you to action and to change. Until he gets to that point don’t worry about getting involved.

 

[moderndarwin]

Introduce them to stoicism. And move on. People need to do the work themselves no amount of help ever works. And usually leads to resentment.

 

[wayniac211]

What’s are y’all doin

Anyway if you love the person, you don’t give up on them.

You just have to keep trying new methods.

I’m not saying let their problems get in the way of what you’re goals but giving up on a person you know needs help is weak.

Also how long has you’re friend been in this slump and how old are they?

hey fam, some of us tired of playing therapist. we gotta maintain our own sanity at the same time

 

[wayniac211]

got a nephew with MAJOR issues with the law, baby mamas, and regular ****. used to see him weekly for our lil sessions with conversations about mental health, family, staying money motivated ..etc...
but one day he pulled a "take me to the ER" move because he didn't want me to leave. I was like mf u doing too much, scolded him and got him some taco bell. like a little kid he was jolly happy. sometimes our impact on people takes effect later on not immediately

 

[FThe45th]

my little bro lives in my living room and worships his PS5 daily. hes 28 & i had to bribe him to get his GED. gave him $300

not a hustling or women-chasing bone in his body.

i asked him his 5 year plan, mans said he didnt have one.

i think ima force him into navy or boeing @ the end of the lease

 

[tr1ll]

got a nephew with MAJOR issues with the law, baby mamas, and regular ****. used to see him weekly for our lil sessions with conversations about mental health, family, staying money motivated ..etc...
but one day he pulled a "take me to the ER" move because he didn't want me to leave. I was like mf u doing too much, scolded him and got him some taco bell. like a little kid he was jolly happy. sometimes our impact on people takes effect later on not immediately

Bruh how it go from, "take me to the ER" to " Naw take this Taco Bell??"

 

[6 Rings G.O.A.T.]

Bruh how it go from, "take me to the ER" to " Naw take this Taco Bell??"

It's usually the other way around too..

 

[ogbobbyjohnson773]

Bruh how it go from, "take me to the ER" to " Naw take this Taco Bell??"

taco neck syndrome

 

[wayniac211]

Bruh how it go from, "take me to the ER" to " Naw take this Taco Bell??"

when you off that henny & buddha at 1am, food puts u to sleep