- Jun 16, 2008
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All credits go to http://robear.us/ (THIS IS NOT MY WORK IN ANY WAY SHAPE FORM OR FASHION)
DEFINING LOVE
This is for my children. No one ever taught me about love. What I first knew about love I learned from TV, from school, and from books. Romeo and Juliet painted a serene picture of bliss – of what love should be. Romeo and Juliet shared a perfect love, or so I assumed, doomed by circumstances outside of their control. When you’re a child, what else do you have to go on? I wanted to be that happy one day, and I when I found it, I would never let it slip away.
Life doesn’t really work like that, though. Love is so simple, yet we complicate it with how we think things should be. So often we set expectations based on fables or friends. We fall in lust, and when that dies we struggle to justify the relationship. Sometimes we just want love so badly that we believe a relationship is something it’s really not, and defend it neurotically.
Love is like a flame: dangerous, unpredictable, explosive. It has as much power to create as it does to destroy: as much power to make you happy as it does to make you miserable. What makes love so elusive is that it’s so many things, and we often chase the wrong things looking for it, or just expect fate to drop it in our laps.
[COLOR=#red]Life is hard. You have one shot at it and nothing nothing is predefined. There is no fate: no destiny. Love doesn’t find a way – people in love find a way. You should never leave love to chance, or anything important in your life for that matter. To take control of something, you must first understand it. This is how I understand love to be.[/COLOR]
Love Is
Love is a Chemical Reaction.First and foremost, love is an emotion. It’s a chemical reaction locked away in a gray enigma buried in our skulls. Our emotions are triggered by stimulus: we feel an emotion because something has happened, either internally or externally. This is the most important thing to understand. When we first “feel” love, it usually has a lot to do with puberty and sex than anything else. We “crush” on someone attractive (who has stimulated us through our senses).
When we first have sex, it always feels like love. Sex is often our first taste of love. Most of us learn in time, however, that it’s a cheap love. Sex definitely creates the same emotion, but the feeling fades with the passion, and we’re left yearning for more. Some of us never stop looking for love through sex. Some of us move on. Ultimately, to find true love, you must move on and find something deeper that gives you the same feeling.
Love is Vulnerability.To feel comfortable and happy, we must be able to let our guard down. Love is the greatest form of happiness we can achieve. You’re not happy if you’re worried, scared, or hurting. Comfort is mutually exclusive with distress. True love can only exist when we’re defenseless.
[COLOR=#red]Enter Jealousy: [/COLOR] love’s arch enemy. Jealousy makes us defensive and shuns love. Jealousy is not so much a problem because of what it does to love, but because of how we deal with it. We’ll blame the other person, or ask them to “make me feel better.” This is unfair because jealousy is an emotion within ourselves and not the other person, and the other person can’t change that. We must own our jealousy. We can’t dismiss it upon someone else or place the burden of jealousy upon them. We need to accept the things that make us jealous – these are our own emotions. We must accept the risks of vulnerability. We must accept the other person for who they are, and only then can we accept love.
Love is Vain. Rarely do we matter to ourselves until we matter to someone else. It’s human to be proud: we learn from our mistakes and gradually calibrate our moral compass. We believe something is right because this is what we’ve learned. We value things based on our personal experiences and upbringing. When we find true love, what we’re looking someone who has come to the same conclusions, who has learned the same things. What we look for in a partner is often a reflection of what we value in ourselves.
For example, sexy people want to be with sexy people. They value in the other person what they value in themselves. Most importantly, the other person values in them what they value in themselves, and with that, defenses break down and love consumes. “She loves me for me.”
This is most important because it forces us to take a hard look in the mirror, especially when we’re having trouble finding love. Often we think things are important to us, but what we actually pursue is something different. “I want a nice guy, but I always get ********.” Well, that’s because she’s always pursuing guys who are sexy, not guys who are nice, because that’s really what she values in herself. To find true love, you must understand yourself.
Love is Not
Love is not Destined by Fate. People die alone all the time. As perfect as love feels when you find it, there’s nothing in the universe that guarantees it, and the proof of this is not hard to find. To assume love is guided by destiny is to dismiss responsibility for it, and dooms it to forfeiture. You must fight for love, you must work for love, and you must never take love for granted.
[COLOR=#red]Love is not self-sustaining.[/COLOR] Nothing about love is a guarantee. If left alone, love will fade. Love is an emotion, and it’s wonderful, but it’s just an emotion wrapped in a moment. Life is a series of moments best experienced in the present. We must invest in the emotion, to let the other person know how you feel, and ensure that they feel that vulnerability, trust, compassion, and love. This will make them happy. This will strengthen the love. We don’t choose to be in love, but we can choose to show the other person we love them.
[COLOR=#red]Love is not invulnerable. Love can be shattered, and even when the pieces are picked up, scars will always remain. Love is an emotion: everything else is a choice. Choices you make can hurt or destroy love.[/COLOR]
So many things can make us feel in love: a moment, a song, sex, someone’s touch, a conversation, or a thought. To find true love, you must find that person with whom you can feel love for and from consistently. It must be genuine and stem from vulnerability, and not from something neurotic and self-indulging. Don’t be fooled by passing moments of passion: moments that come and go. Don’t be fooled by fairy tales of love that end with the setting sun. Love is wonderful, powerful, fragile, and elusive.
Love is happiness.
Find love. Be happy.
This is the realest **** I've read in a while. I just wanted to share it with you guys.
DEFINING LOVE
This is for my children. No one ever taught me about love. What I first knew about love I learned from TV, from school, and from books. Romeo and Juliet painted a serene picture of bliss – of what love should be. Romeo and Juliet shared a perfect love, or so I assumed, doomed by circumstances outside of their control. When you’re a child, what else do you have to go on? I wanted to be that happy one day, and I when I found it, I would never let it slip away.
Life doesn’t really work like that, though. Love is so simple, yet we complicate it with how we think things should be. So often we set expectations based on fables or friends. We fall in lust, and when that dies we struggle to justify the relationship. Sometimes we just want love so badly that we believe a relationship is something it’s really not, and defend it neurotically.
Love is like a flame: dangerous, unpredictable, explosive. It has as much power to create as it does to destroy: as much power to make you happy as it does to make you miserable. What makes love so elusive is that it’s so many things, and we often chase the wrong things looking for it, or just expect fate to drop it in our laps.
[COLOR=#red]Life is hard. You have one shot at it and nothing nothing is predefined. There is no fate: no destiny. Love doesn’t find a way – people in love find a way. You should never leave love to chance, or anything important in your life for that matter. To take control of something, you must first understand it. This is how I understand love to be.[/COLOR]
Love Is
Love is a Chemical Reaction.First and foremost, love is an emotion. It’s a chemical reaction locked away in a gray enigma buried in our skulls. Our emotions are triggered by stimulus: we feel an emotion because something has happened, either internally or externally. This is the most important thing to understand. When we first “feel” love, it usually has a lot to do with puberty and sex than anything else. We “crush” on someone attractive (who has stimulated us through our senses).
When we first have sex, it always feels like love. Sex is often our first taste of love. Most of us learn in time, however, that it’s a cheap love. Sex definitely creates the same emotion, but the feeling fades with the passion, and we’re left yearning for more. Some of us never stop looking for love through sex. Some of us move on. Ultimately, to find true love, you must move on and find something deeper that gives you the same feeling.
Love is Vulnerability.To feel comfortable and happy, we must be able to let our guard down. Love is the greatest form of happiness we can achieve. You’re not happy if you’re worried, scared, or hurting. Comfort is mutually exclusive with distress. True love can only exist when we’re defenseless.
[COLOR=#red]Enter Jealousy: [/COLOR] love’s arch enemy. Jealousy makes us defensive and shuns love. Jealousy is not so much a problem because of what it does to love, but because of how we deal with it. We’ll blame the other person, or ask them to “make me feel better.” This is unfair because jealousy is an emotion within ourselves and not the other person, and the other person can’t change that. We must own our jealousy. We can’t dismiss it upon someone else or place the burden of jealousy upon them. We need to accept the things that make us jealous – these are our own emotions. We must accept the risks of vulnerability. We must accept the other person for who they are, and only then can we accept love.
Love is Vain. Rarely do we matter to ourselves until we matter to someone else. It’s human to be proud: we learn from our mistakes and gradually calibrate our moral compass. We believe something is right because this is what we’ve learned. We value things based on our personal experiences and upbringing. When we find true love, what we’re looking someone who has come to the same conclusions, who has learned the same things. What we look for in a partner is often a reflection of what we value in ourselves.
For example, sexy people want to be with sexy people. They value in the other person what they value in themselves. Most importantly, the other person values in them what they value in themselves, and with that, defenses break down and love consumes. “She loves me for me.”
This is most important because it forces us to take a hard look in the mirror, especially when we’re having trouble finding love. Often we think things are important to us, but what we actually pursue is something different. “I want a nice guy, but I always get ********.” Well, that’s because she’s always pursuing guys who are sexy, not guys who are nice, because that’s really what she values in herself. To find true love, you must understand yourself.
Love is Not
Love is not Destined by Fate. People die alone all the time. As perfect as love feels when you find it, there’s nothing in the universe that guarantees it, and the proof of this is not hard to find. To assume love is guided by destiny is to dismiss responsibility for it, and dooms it to forfeiture. You must fight for love, you must work for love, and you must never take love for granted.
[COLOR=#red]Love is not self-sustaining.[/COLOR] Nothing about love is a guarantee. If left alone, love will fade. Love is an emotion, and it’s wonderful, but it’s just an emotion wrapped in a moment. Life is a series of moments best experienced in the present. We must invest in the emotion, to let the other person know how you feel, and ensure that they feel that vulnerability, trust, compassion, and love. This will make them happy. This will strengthen the love. We don’t choose to be in love, but we can choose to show the other person we love them.
[COLOR=#red]Love is not invulnerable. Love can be shattered, and even when the pieces are picked up, scars will always remain. Love is an emotion: everything else is a choice. Choices you make can hurt or destroy love.[/COLOR]
So many things can make us feel in love: a moment, a song, sex, someone’s touch, a conversation, or a thought. To find true love, you must find that person with whom you can feel love for and from consistently. It must be genuine and stem from vulnerability, and not from something neurotic and self-indulging. Don’t be fooled by passing moments of passion: moments that come and go. Don’t be fooled by fairy tales of love that end with the setting sun. Love is wonderful, powerful, fragile, and elusive.
Love is happiness.
Find love. Be happy.
This is the realest **** I've read in a while. I just wanted to share it with you guys.
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