What Should We Really Expect From Our Own Relationships?

[sun of knowledge]

Lets take a look the most intimate and highest level of companionship( your significant other)...often the examples of relationships at home and around ussometimes influence a persons expectations on what they want and don't want when it comes to their own relationship.When you go inward and discover whatyou need as an individual from a companion usually it sets standards and expectations and it begins to mold the kind of relationship that is desired. With thatsaid you have to consider this factor "the human element" which is we all make mistakes and we are all subject to change. So with the human elementas a major factor it can be difficult not compromise your needs to the point where you become absolutely unsatisfied in every relationship that you are in. Soi guess the key is to obtain balance,harmony, while full filling each others needs. Mistakes will be made but I learned its how you and yours work together tocorrect them and it starts with communication. Im no expert at this at all obviously but Im just curious to know what do some of yall on here expect fromrelationships? Relationships are like mirrors when you look in them you can began to see yourself clearer!

So again N.T. what do some of you expect from relationships?

 

[prem092]

can you edit your post for clarity.

 

[sun of knowledge]

what exactly am i not clear on

 

[prem092]

no, it's not that you're not clear on anything. i'm asking can you make your point w/o the post being so complex.

basically, i'm having a hard time understanding what it is you're asking w/ this post.

 

[one more mil]

Originally Posted by PREM092


no, it's not that you're not clear on anything. i'm asking can you make your point w/o the post being so complex.

basically, i'm having a hard time understanding what it is you're asking w/ this post.

same here

 

[c money 88 05]

Originally Posted by Sun Of Knowledge

what exactly am i not clear on

long time no see, where you been man?
I think he wants you to make like Lupe and Dumb It Down so it's a little more understandable.



I never thought about a relationship as a mirror, but thinking about it I guess you have a good point. Me myself, I only expect trust, happiness, and caring ina relationship. Sure it's great to have all the cosmetics in a relationship, but if I'm happy, can trust and be trusted in the relationship, and see areal interest in me for me and not just for your own interest then I'm happy. That's what I look to portray, so I guess it very well would be a mirrorof my ideal relationship.

 

[sun of knowledge]

no, it's not that you're not clear on anything. i'm asking can you make your point w/o the post being so complex.

basically, i'm having a hard time understanding what it is you're asking w/ this post.

same here


Not a problem I started off giving my observation about what I expect from a relationship and towards the end of my statement I was asking what do yallexpect from a relationship I will go back up and edit my post to make my question more obvious

long time no see, where you been man?
I think he wants you to make like Lupe and Dumb It Down so it's a little more understandable.

I been adjusting to the changes in my life I usuallybrowse retro now I come on here maybe once week its always good to see familiar faces on here how u been?

 

[sun of knowledge]

I never thought about a relationship as a mirror, but thinking about it I guess you have a good point. Me myself, I only expect trust, happiness, and caring in a relationship. Sure it's great to have all the cosmetics in a relationship, but if I'm happy, can trust and be trusted in the relationship, and see a real interest in me for me and not just for your own interest then I'm happy. That's what I look to portray, so I guess it very well would be a mirror of my ideal relationship.
thats golden

 

[ayohov]

Handski's, mouthski's...maybe a little footski's.

Honestly, i dont even know anymore. I would say for her to give her all like I do but im starting to think that an actual "good woman" is extinct.

 

[prem092]

ok, from C money's response, i guess i get what you're asking.

from a relationship i want a girl who is original in her own ways. i want her to accept me for who i am & not what i own. i also want the typical things ina relationship like trust, love, & sex

.

 

[nyvictory45]

Naturally I am a person who hates to compromise. Not because I'm selfish but because I try to reach the highest plateaus in everything I do. I strive forthe best grades I can get, try to learn as much as I can with the time I have here on earth, and while people I know spend their time trying to find new waysto make money, I just try to figure out how to maximize the joy I can get out of life while still maintaining my responsibilities.

With that said I've come to understand that when it comes to women I would be in a relationship with, I have very high standards. Naturally theexpectations I place on myself I also inadvertently place on others as well. In my mind I'm thinking if I'm going to be expending time, stress, money,and energy on a female then why shouldn't I be expending all of these things on the most ideal girl I can find? Unfortunately things don't usually workthis way. You can't treat love and relationships like a business where profit and efficiency are the main motivating factors.

Ultimately you will have to compromise and be with somebody who isn't perfect. But its in your significant other's imperfections as well as your ownthat you learn to work through conflict, hardships, and other difficulties and then reach higher levels of love and respect for one another. Because if bothpartners were perfect, there would be no conflict and thus no solution to lead to a deeper state of affection. Unfortunately for myself I have yet to reallylet this idea sink in to my mind and it's why I remain in emotional stagnancy.

 

[sun of knowledge]

Honestly, i dont even know anymore. I would say for her to give her all like I do but im starting to think that an actual "good woman" is extinct.
they're not and it appears that way cause at first glance they hidden by the overcroweded scene of bad ones.. but to be honest with u spottingthem is like "wheres waldo" once u find her they become the true center of attention and everything else is scenery!

 

[sun of knowledge]

Ultimately you will have to compromise and be with somebody who isn't perfect. But its in your significant other's imperfections as well as your own that you learn to work through conflict, hardships, and other difficulties and then reach higher levels of love and respect for one another. Because if both partners were perfect, there would be no conflict and thus no solution to lead to a deeper state of affection. Unfortunately for myself I have yet to really let this idea sink in to my mind and it's why I remain in emotional stagnancy.
I understand and it takes time..When that bond and the love is strong and its build on the right foundation..man,, when you go through those roughtimeswith the person that accompanies you ..you wouldn't prefer anyone elses to be in their place.... working together becomes natural and instinctive aslong as you have that understanding and that foundation in place

 

[solesurvi0r7]

I expect to be with someone who realizes that, as a person, I am imperfect, just as she is. I have flaws, I make mistakes, I am not a machine who will not makean error and the same can be said about her. I expect somone to take their time with me, understand me, know me better than anyone else, the same way I wouldwith her. I expect someone to devote time in the relationship. I expect to for her to want to earn my trust, as I will try my best to earn her's. I expectto be treated like a king, as I will try to treat her like a queen. I expect equality, for neither person is above the other. Though I must digress herebecause at the same time, each person must take their time in realizing their role. As the man, I expect to be the shoulder to cry on, the person who makescrucial decisions (with imput of course), and take the lead with finances and things of that nature, while she, being the female, will be the person I am mostconfident around, will raise our children correctly, and stand firmly at my side. No I am not expecting a house wife, but a strong woman who is willing to gothe distance with me to make the relationship work.

 

[club27]

Originally Posted by NYVictory45

Naturally I am a person who hates to compromise. Not because I'm selfish but because I try to reach the highest plateaus in everything I do. I strive for the best grades I can get, try to learn as much as I can with the time I have here on earth, and while people I know spend their time trying to find new ways to make money, I just try to figure out how to maximize the joy I can get out of life while still maintaining my responsibilities.

With that said I've come to understand that when it comes to women I would be in a relationship with, I have very high standards. Naturally the expectations I place on myself I also inadvertently place on others as well. In my mind I'm thinking if I'm going to be expending time, stress, money, and energy on a female then why shouldn't I be expending all of these things on the most ideal girl I can find? Unfortunately things don't usually work this way. You can't treat love and relationships like a business where profit and efficiency are the main motivating factors.

Ultimately you will have to compromise and be with somebody who isn't perfect. But its in your significant other's imperfections as well as your own that you learn to work through conflict, hardships, and other difficulties and then reach higher levels of love and respect for one another. Because if both partners were perfect, there would be no conflict and thus no solution to lead to a deeper state of affection. Unfortunately for myself I have yet to really let this idea sink in to my mind and it's why I remain in emotional stagnancy.

This is my first post back from Suspension City, and i gotta say this is one of the best things Ive read on Niketalk. Especially because this is theexact state of mind I have as well. props.

 

[tonystarks2984]

Originally Posted by C Money 88 05

I never thought about a relationship as a mirror, but thinking about it I guess you have a good point. Me myself, I only expect trust, happiness, and caring in a relationship. Sure it's great to have all the cosmetics in a relationship, but if I'm happy, can trust and be trusted in the relationship, and see a real interest in me for me and not just for your own interest then I'm happy. That's what I look to portray, so I guess it very well would be a mirror of my ideal relationship.

 

[haiti5]

This is a question I think about the time Sun. I feel that being brought up into a single parent home has given me an advantage, because the examples of womenincluding my older sisters have been very positive and strong examples. Therefore what I genuinely want out of a relationship is strength. The strength for meand my partner to have trust,morals,values, and communication witihin our relationship. My background ultimately has made me think extremely lowly of women whopercieved as "fast". However, as I have matured I've begin learn that there shouldn't be a double standard to this situation. And its exactlywhy I have never really been a male +%#%%, and for that expect the same from my partner. So ultimately I would to have someone who can all of the qualities ofstrength and also someone for whom I grow with , mentally,and sexually

 

[purple sneaks]

Originally Posted by Sun Of Knowledge

Lets take a look the most intimate and highest level of companionship( your significant other)...often the examples of relationships at home and around us sometimes influence a persons expectations on what they want and don't want when it comes to their own relationship.When you go inward and discover what you need as an individual from a companion usually it sets standards and expectations and it begins to mold the kind of relationship that is desired. With that said you have to consider this factor "the human element" which is we all make mistakes and we are all subject to change. So with the human element as a major factor it can be difficult not compromise your needs to the point where you become absolutely unsatisfied in every relationship that you are in. So i guess the key is to obtain balance,harmony, while full filling each others needs. Mistakes will be made but I learned its how you and yours work together to correct them and it starts with communication. Im no expert at this at all obviously but Im just curious to know what do some of yall on here expect from relationships? Relationships are like mirrors when you look in them you can began to see yourself clearer!

So again N.T. what do some of you expect from relationships?

true....

from a relationship....a heartbreak at CERTAIN things will be expected..

 

[blue in green 23]

FBGM

 

[ouch my feet]

I ran into a great article that was posted by Dr. Phil talking about how we have these expectations, standards, and rules in relationships. Its a large andthorough article so I cant post it up here.

You can read it here: Dr. Phil - No expectations

Basically, its a slap in the face for anyone who has been in that stressful position. Believe me, I had been through hell and back in my last relationshipblahhhh. Now I keep a more open mind and let things take their shape naturally, if it doesnt work out, you can try again.

 

[Mound Raised]

expecetatios in a relationship can be summed up in 3 words:
sex, love & pain
word to tank

 

[sifupooh]

treat the kids with respect, she dont got to like or love them, just respect them

 

[the black james bond]

What I look for in a relationship is foundation. I want a girl who will help accentuate my strengths, point out my weaknesses and help me work towards becominga better person. Sometimes, with situations like this, it is harder to say exactly what you want, but you can say what you don't want. So what I don'twant out of a relationship is one that will leave me worse-off than where I started.

 

[harlemtothebronx]

Growth.

 

[blackmagnus514]

Compromise and Patience.

my "girl" just came after runnin a hour and change late. it's her first time doing so...but i HATE waiting. but i'm learning aboutcompromise.

i have serious trust issues but i guess you live and learn

What I look for in a relationship is foundation. I want a girl who will help accentuate my strengths, point out my weaknesses and help me work towards becoming a better person. Sometimes, with situations like this, it is harder to say exactly what you want, but you can say what you don't want. So what I don't want out of a relationship is one that will leave me worse-off than where I started.