when your parents can no longer take care for themselves what your plan?

[joe billionaire]

i ask this question because its going to happen, may not be soon but it will...when I was 13 we moved from chicago to houston to help my moms brother take care of my grandmother because they could no longer do it...its now 2011 and life for my mother has been the same thing everyday since 2001. My grandmother is in her late 80s she has parkinsons but its stable she does however need help for everything, my moms family who was here has been imo enjoying their lives since we came, they do help but imo its not enough they pick her up late friday and bring her back sunday...but when she comes back on sunday my grandmother says she couldn't shower because my aunt was too busy to help her so shes wearing the same clothes since friday it makes double work for my mother...

I tell my mother to tell them something she says she can't because she knows it will end up in a big disagreement or they will be mad at my grandmother and ignore her even more.

anyone have any real help? i suggestion nursing/retirement home and my mom said if i wanted for them to treat her badly

whats your plan for when your parent(s) can no longer take care of themselves? 

 

[hizzle]

My advice would be to look up reviews for different nursing/retirement homes around your community and talk to other people you know who are either caring for elderly people or have relatives in nursing/retirement homes to elicit feedback on that option. We always hear about the horror stories of how senior residents are treated at those types of establishments, but I'm sure there are some legitimate ones.

It's unfortunate your mother's siblings act that way. The mother of a friend of mine is in a very similar situation. I really don't think there's much to gain from talking to them, as they won't care no matter what you say.

Edit: Oh yeah, think about having a live in nurse. Offer them incentives like a free room/meals if you can't afford to pay them a salary.

 

[liban906]

I'm going to suck it up and take care of them. Can you imagine abandoning your parents because you're a little too "busy"? After all they've done for you? I know my parents went through hell raising us so I'm definitely not passing my mom and dad off to a nursing home. If it gets to the point where they need constant 24/7 care, I'll hire a live in nurse but they're always gonna have a place under my roof

 

[an dee 51o]

Been thinking about this a lot recently because my grandma is getting older and losing her memory

I will do whatever it takes to take care of my parents. They've bailed me out so many times, even after I became a legal adult and they no longer had to.

 

[iammd]

in a home.

 

[lana85]

Originally Posted by Liban906

I'm going to suck it up and take care of them. Can you imagine abandoning your parents because you're a little too "busy"? After all they've done for you? I know my parents went through hell raising us so I'm definitely not passing my mom and dad off to a nursing home. If it gets to the point where they need constant 24/7 care, I'll hire a live in nurse but they're always gonna have a place under my roof

This is how is should be.

 

[mytmouse76]

depends how bad it is...

if they i just feel i don't want them in the house alone at my house

if they need special care i feel i can't provide a home...

i hate the thought of them going into a home tho...heard stories from a friend that worked one in HS

 

[fadeaway88]

Man I hope thats later on in life

Cause its gonna be a few more years till I can get on my feet

Prolly hire a nurse or some nonsense, if I have a career that takes me everywhere I don't know if I can take care. Good thing I got other siblings that are pretty well off at this point, they should be able to chip in and care for them as well. Although we are spread out all across the states, on all coasts.

 

[ajrocka]

Originally Posted by Liban906

I'm going to suck it up and take care of them. Can you imagine abandoning your parents because you're a little too "busy"? After all they've done for you? I know my parents went through hell raising us so I'm definitely not passing my mom and dad off to a nursing home. If it gets to the point where they need constant 24/7 care, I'll hire a live in nurse but they're always gonna have a place under my roof

 

[i just got lucky]

Originally Posted by lana85

Originally Posted by Liban906

I'm going to suck it up and take care of them. Can you imagine abandoning your parents because you're a little too "busy"? After all they've done for you? I know my parents went through hell raising us so I'm definitely not passing my mom and dad off to a nursing home. If it gets to the point where they need constant 24/7 care, I'll hire a live in nurse but they're always gonna have a place under my roof

This is how is should be.

Pretty much.  Put yourself in that position, would you like to be placed in a nursing/retirement home or would you like to stay at home with family?  I would do anything and would go out my way to take care of my fam.   Hopefully by doing this, my kids would return the favor and take care of me when I'm older. 

 

[DownByLaw]

My Mother passed away at a young age and something tells me my Pops isn't going to make it to an age where he will require care. My step-mom however will probably live a long life and I can't see any of her children putting her in a home. If my Dad does end up proving me wrong and requires care, I would step up and provide him what would be best for him.

 

[smedroc]

I don't even know

 

[everysingletime]

They've done too much for me to say no to them.

That said, I don't really wanna do it. But if I must...

 

[uncalled4boy]

Originally Posted by Smedroc


I don't even know

 

[bigtomgetsgwap]

I really only have to worry about my mother and she can stay with me not sure what my father is gonna do

 

[josebronx]

I can tell who arent Hispanic in this thread...

Don't know tho, might have to change major soon. Architecture is taking too long..

 

[jordanfan6]

Originally Posted by lana85

Originally Posted by Liban906

I'm going to suck it up and take care of them. Can you imagine abandoning your parents because you're a little too "busy"? After all they've done for you? I know my parents went through hell raising us so I'm definitely not passing my mom and dad off to a nursing home. If it gets to the point where they need constant 24/7 care, I'll hire a live in nurse but they're always gonna have a place under my roof

This is how is should be.

agreed

 

[supermanblue79]

Originally Posted by jordanfan6

Originally Posted by lana85

Originally Posted by Liban906

I'm going to suck it up and take care of them. Can you imagine abandoning your parents because you're a little too "busy"? After all they've done for you? I know my parents went through hell raising us so I'm definitely not passing my mom and dad off to a nursing home. If it gets to the point where they need constant 24/7 care, I'll hire a live in nurse but they're always gonna have a place under my roof

This is how is should be.

agreed

 

[joe billionaire]

Originally Posted by JoseBronx

I can tell who arent Hispanic in this thread...

Don't know tho, might have to change major soon. Architecture is taking too long..

we hispanic thats why theres no home talk and just dealing with it, but it is indeed frustrating from what im witnessing first hand and it has me thinking about the future even tho its far away...hopefully 

 

[Nouss]

Im African, our children are our social security.

Our family is big so there will always be some young family members living in our compound to share the duties.

 

[jd214]

Originally Posted by JoseBronx

I can tell who arent Hispanic in this thread...



Don't know tho, might have to change major soon. Architecture is taking too long..

Agreed.

Usually Hispanics stay with their parents and take care of their parents to the end. Still to this day I haven't met any Hispanics with their parents or grandparents away from their family.

Others take them to nursing homes or lunatic asylums,

I couldn't do that to my parents.

 

[sundoobie]

Originally Posted by Liban906

I'm going to suck it up and take care of them. Can you imagine abandoning your parents because you're a little too "busy"? After all they've done for you? I know my parents went through hell raising us so I'm definitely not passing my mom and dad off to a nursing home. If it gets to the point where they need constant 24/7 care, I'll hire a live in nurse but they're always gonna have a place under my roof

Best Answer right here.  

 

[wanksta23]

I'm going to take care of them, if my brother or sister cant, or dont want to

My grandma had Alzheimer, and my grandma couldn't take care of him all by herself, so what we did was, sell both our houses, and bought one big one together

It was def stressful, we had to feed him, bathe him, when he'd fall me or my brother had to pick him up, we had to put a small gate by the kitchen so he wouldn't go in and burn himself...he was pretty much like a baby kid....RIP to him

on another note, i REFUSE to take them to a retirement or nursing home, they have given me so damn much in my life and their my biggest role models, no matter how hard it might be, if it ever happens...

hispanic btw

 

[mangudai954]

Originally Posted by jordanfan6

Originally Posted by lana85

Originally Posted by Liban906

I'm going to suck it up and take care of them. Can you imagine abandoning your parents because you're a little too "busy"? After all they've done for you? I know my parents went through hell raising us so I'm definitely not passing my mom and dad off to a nursing home. If it gets to the point where they need constant 24/7 care, I'll hire a live in nurse but they're always gonna have a place under my roof

This is how is should be.

agreed

 

[mrdoeboi]

Originally Posted by i just got lucky

Originally Posted by lana85

Originally Posted by Liban906

I'm going to suck it up and take care of them. Can you imagine abandoning your parents because you're a little too "busy"? After all they've done for you? I know my parents went through hell raising us so I'm definitely not passing my mom and dad off to a nursing home. If it gets to the point where they need constant 24/7 care, I'll hire a live in nurse but they're always gonna have a place under my roof

This is how is should be.

Pretty much.  Put yourself in that position, would you like to be placed in a nursing/retirement home or would you like to stay at home with family?  I would do anything and would go out my way to take care of my fam.   Hopefully by doing this, my kids would return the favor and take care of me when I'm older. 

When it's all said and done ,they took care of me when I couldn't take care of myself .So it's only right I return it.