Why should my book (not) exist?

[captnaj phd]

So, over the weekend, I had an intense debate with a new single mother about the appropriateness of my new book ("...Expecting the Worst", an examination of the concept of being knocked up from the side of the equation without a choice) and she basically said that not only is it one of the worst things she ever read, but that I was pretty much going to hell for writing it.

She's not the first person to say something like that.

Now, it's true that I didn't have all the nicest things to say about accidentally gaining a lifelong non-optional responsibility, but I at least thought what I had to say had merit due to its' relevance, honesty, and the relatively understudied process of becoming a parent whether you like it or not.

I personally think it's full of things that just need to be said, but obviously others don't appreciate the logic in my opinions. It's created a small but real crisis of conscience that I can now fully acknowledge now that I'm in a place in my life where I couldn't write that book again because I don't have the necessary venom toward the situation any more.

Did I just say what's on plenty of minds or did I make the world a slightly worse place by contributing my book to it?

That's where you come in, NT.

I've gotten a few really positive reviews and a couple of incandescently negative ones, but I don't have enough data overall to form an honest outside evaluation of my work...so what I'd like to happen is for a few of y'all to check out the introduction and preview chapters I have up on my site and tell me what you think in here.

Best opinion on why it should or should not exist wins a free copy of the book...I'll even sign it if ya want. (If you think it shouldn't, winning it is still good because you get to do whatever you want to make sure there's one less of them out there.) Hell, I might give out a few if I can't decide who wins.

I'll also throw in a couple promotional condoms with the book cover on them, because I practice what I preach.

Thanks in advance, y'all.

CLIFFS

- wrote a book on misfired kids and the men who shot them
- some people take offense

- I actually kinda care

- wanna know if it's legitimately offensive to average folk in the target market

- giving out a book or two for help figuring it out

- posted a few sample chapters

- reading is fundamental

 

[mronegative]

So it's a guide to getting postpartum depression?
Or an explanation of why an abortion's a good idea?

I've heard of stuff like this before, but I'm pretty sure a dude isn't allowed to be the one to say any of it.
...Especially if your conclusion is "you ****** up."

 

[captnaj phd]

So it's a guide to getting postpartum depression?
Or an explanation of why an abortion's a good idea?

I've heard of stuff like this before, but I'm pretty sure a dude isn't allowed to be the one to say any of it.
...Especially if your conclusion is "you ****** up."

More a guide to avoiding postpartum depression, but abortion certainly can be a good idea in some cases.

In addition, a guy is the one that has to deal with whatever happens without any real input in the matter, so how is it we're not "allowed" to make commentary on the consequences and results thereof? Don't you think that's something that should change?

...and I did **** up. I don't mind admitting it. In fact, more people than you probably think do...about 50% of pregnancies in the US are unintentional. I'm not sure by what definition that isn't ******g up.

That said, brandy, super glue and America were also discovered by accident, so ******g up doesn't necessarily have to be negative ALL the time.

 

[GaBeGRaMz]

The cover...





I see it.

 

[mronegative]

I'm not saying you're not "allowed." It's a free country. I'm just saying, you'd get a lot of free hate being a male and trying to commiserate with women in that position with that line of thinking.

Socially...this is trolling.

"Baby, you got a timebomb in your uterus. It's probably for the best if we cut the fuse. "

Good luck. And look forward to many letters.

 

[crazy ebw]

The cover...





I see it.

 

[captnaj phd]

I'm not saying you're not "allowed." It's a free country. I'm just saying, you'd get a lot of free hate being a male and trying to commiserate with women in that position with that line of thinking.

Socially...this is trolling.

"Baby, you got a timebomb in your uterus. It's probably for the best if we cut the fuse. "

Good luck. And look forward to many letters.

I see what you're saying. The line between penetrative questioning and trolling can be quite thin, so I see how it could be interpreted that way. Not the way I (fully) intended it to be seen, but it's an understandable perspective.

Oh, and I certainly expect letters upon letters. I'm getting a parakeet just so I have a place to put them.

 

[beh235]

I'm finally reading some of the excerpts....while listening to Billie Jean.

 

[captnaj phd]

I'm finally reading some of the excerpts....while listening to Billie Jean.

True or false, that's hilarious.

 

[villansfinest]

how do you envision explaining to the born child a few years from now that it was represented on this book cover by a bomb and the words "the worst"?

 

[beh235]

I'm finally reading some of the excerpts....while listening to Billie Jean.

True or false, that's hilarious.

Nah, it was true. I ain't gonna lie to you. I was reading it while taking a break from work. I'll read some more while on my luch break.

 

[Gex the Damaja]

how do you envision explaining to the born child a few years from now that it was represented on this book cover by a bomb and the words "the worst"?

I remember your first thread when you found out too, expected you to handle it better now or have you?

 

[captnaj phd]

how do you envision explaining to the born child a few years from now that it was represented on this book cover by a bomb and the words "the worst"?

I'd hope that the 8-12 years of stability, loyal fatherhood and voluntarily making sure he's happy, safe and healthy will make up for the unpleasantness of his origin story by the time I have to answer for that one.

A lot of kids would never get to ask their dad that question or any other.
 

I remember your first thread when you found out too, expected you to handle it better now or have you?

Well, me, she and 3 all live together now, happily sometimes. I see it as a few steps forward, although I can't honestly take back anything I said in the meantime nor would I want to, because somebody had to say them.

He does things besides scream and fill diapers now, so we got attached relatively quickly and things are good now...I just know the story doesn't end that way for so many others who end up in that position, and I wanted to accurately reflect that side of it too.

 

[pharelfor3]

make the book. I'd buy it

 

[captnaj phd]

make the book. I'd buy it

It's made, bro. eBook and tree-book, hit the store or holla at me directly for a little discount + bonus. Thanks for the support, homie.

 

[johnnyredstorm]

It's not appalling or offensive by any means. You have a kid on accident when you're just trying to get a nut off and it is a bomb. Your life changes, what you enjoyed before is no longer possible. At that first moment the accident truly is the worst thing in your life but the journey to realizing how beautiful and exciting this opportunity is is what matters. And aye, I need to PayPal you a couple of bucks for some rubbers. I really get a kick out of yours pause.

 

[water]

The cover...

I see it.

 

[nikeairforce1]

The cover...





I see it.

if that's who I think it is...

 

[pharelfor3]

It's made, bro. eBook and tree-book, hit the store or holla at me directly for a little discount + bonus. Thanks for the support, homie.

Copping the ebook

if that's who I think it is...

I dont get it. Care to explain??

 

[jesusshuttlesworth34]

Reading now, will post and provide a response.

 

[swendro]

I've always just let it slide, but since you asked.... Yeah, it's in pretty poor taste in my opinion. If my dad wrote a book like that inspired by me, I'd punch him in the dong.

 

[beh235]

I've always just let it slide, but since you asked.... Yeah, it's in pretty poor taste in my opinion. If my dad wrote a book like that inspired by me, I'd punch him in the dong.

. I agree, it's pretty foul. POTUS (I can't stop calling you that, sue me ) maybe this is a setup to write a revised version later on if your perspective changes. It's such a backhanded way of calling your child a blessing.

 

[captnaj phd]

It's not appalling or offensive by any means. You have a kid on accident when you're just trying to get a nut off and it is a bomb. Your life changes, what you enjoyed before is no longer possible. At that first moment the accident truly is the worst thing in your life but the journey to realizing how beautiful and exciting this opportunity is is what matters. And aye, I need to PayPal you a couple of bucks for some rubbers. I really get a kick out of yours pause.

Reading now, will post and provide a response.

Thanks man, let me know. Feedback of all flavors is welcome.

I've always just let it slide, but since you asked.... Yeah, it's in pretty poor taste in my opinion. If my dad wrote a book like that inspired by me, I'd punch him in the dong.

...and that's a fair point of view. It can't be the easiest thing to know you were created unintentionally, and it's probably harder still to know both your parents didn't want you with all their heart beforehand.

However, humor me real quick. Put "I don't want to be a..." into Google and see what the top searches are. They're usually things like "mom, dad, parent, teacher" etc.

Kids are an immense responsibility and not everybody wants it early in their adulthood, if ever. I don't see where that's hard to understand, and the book is about letting people know it's okay to feel that way as long as you handle your business when it's time.

 

[captnaj phd]

. I agree, it's pretty foul. POTUS (I can't stop calling you that, sue me

) maybe this is a setup to write a revised version later on if your perspective changes. It's such a backhanded way of calling your child a blessing.

It's all good, I liked that name.

Yeah tho, I saved myself the trouble of a sequel. The book is about the perspective change...starts with Section I: "Shock", then goes through Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

Becoming a parent is a process. It's the biggest change in your life other than the end of it, and staring that kind of thing dead in the face (especially by accident) is a hell of a thing. It's not all sunshine and rainbows and baby showers, and I thought that was a concept that was important to illustrate, the good, bad, and the ugly of dealing with such a tectonic shift in your lifestyle.

...and by the way, I never called my kid or any other kid a blessing, miracle, gift or anything else. Kids happen every day. Up to 10 have been born while you were reading this. There's nothing special about reproducing, and even less special about being bad with birth control.

Kids are a commitment, a duty, a challenge to raise a functional adult and ideally, a permanent bond with both child and mother (unfortunately in some cases). That's some heavy ****, and I wasn't afraid to approach it with a heavy hand.

Thanks for checking it out tho...I appreciate everybody's input.

 

[beh235]

I read that piece at lunch, but I want to check the entire thing out and give a complete analysis.