Worst Date Stories...

[T Lo Sweater]

So what did you tell her after you smelled the smell 

Nothing

But i ended up smashing the day and the day after then just went ghost on her. But i just did missionary

I know but I still should have said something

 

[Meangene45]

This was back in early 2014, whenever the sequel to 300 came out. The actual date went well, but it was the aftermath that was terrible. For one thing, the chick was 19 (I was 26), and I rarely even date chicks 23 and below, but she was real cute so I said f it. She wanted to meet up at this Edward's theater and it was cool. Her mom dropped her off and picked her up, which was but whatever. We did the arcade **** and saw the movie and ate a bit, then we made plans for another date. During the date though, I was gradually starting to realize that she was a very snobby apparently rich girl and stays in a mansion (if you're rich and stay in a mansion with your parents, pretty sure you'd also have a car but ok). She also mentioned being a singer and has a lot of youtube views, and had sang the nat'l anthem at Rockets games (no receipts, other than an autographed Tracy McGrady jersey, who she had actually never heard of before then, but ok). Setting up the second date is where the problem begins. She mentioned when he first met up, she didn't immediately acknowledge me cause I didn't bring any flowers. I pretty much blew that off and was like we can save that for another time. Where it started going downhill even more when she started referencing her music again, and how popular she was, as she even did that throughout the date almost as if i was supposed to be impressed or something. When i said "are you looking to date, or are you looking for a fan for your music", that's when all the **** possible hit the fan. She sent some lengthy text calling me broke, dissing my dogs, telling me I should be grateful to have been on a date with her since so many guys have hit her up, and that if I ever talked to her again, she'd call the cops and since she "knows very important people" she'd "make it hard for [you] in life". I basically sent back a message pretty much saying "that's fine, good luck in your future endeavors" and I was finished. Apparently she wasn't finished, as my phone continued to be spammed. I thought my phone was ringing at first, but it was actually her continuously sending novels. I didn't read a single one. I just deleted that thread and washed my hands of her. Then the next day. early in the morning I get a "hey mike " text. Then about 2 hours go by, and I get a "why are you ignoring me?" text. Bullet dodged, probably literally and figuratively.

Who is Mike?

 

[ao17]

Peep future endeavored her [emoji]128514[/emoji]

 

[Meangene45]

Hey Peep Game where can I buy her album? Did she make a song about?

 

[wavy daddy]

Yall ever run into one night stands at breakfast spot from the night before? Ah kward.

 

[thenewjs23]

Yall ever run into one night stands at breakfast spot from the night before? Ah kward.

Ive ran into one night stands at work.

 

[paulprince3730]

Yall ever run into one night stands at breakfast spot from the night before? Ah kward.

that sound like some basic **** 

 

[seandon23]

Met this joint online. Cute joint nice eyes. Exchange numbers and all that. We hang out in the city. It was iiight. Then towards the end of the date shes talking about wanting to smash. So im like bet im wit it. We go and hit up the telly. I start finger poppin. She tops me off then swallows. I take a break to recharge then start going to work. I had her on her stomach and went at her that way. Bruh I could smell her a hole. Like I could smell the **** man. Jesus Christ it was the most foulest thing i ever experienced during all my sexual encounters. It honestly turned me off a lot. I got limp after that and couldn't even continue knocking it down

that just means the booty is ripe for the eating pa

 

[law3001]

I posted two years ago in a thread and this is by far my worst date/hookup story

I've had bigger Ls but this is the biggest I ever took when it came to women


One day all my roommates left to go out to the club and for some reason I just chilled at the house dolo so I was smoking some and sipping alittle Hen and just cooling out. Around 1:00am I get a text from this Ethiopian girl I had been talking too, but she lived in Stockton so we never really got past sexting and late night cupcakin. However ole girl text me saying she is in the car with her home girl driving back from SF and she wanted to slide through.

I shot up from my sleepy drunk stupor and got excited as hell. I called her back and she was tipsy as hell talking all types of nasty **** on the phone. I tell her give the phone to her friend to give directions and her friend is talking that nasty **** too.

My eyes go as I realize that these boppers are trying to get it crackin AT THE SAME DAMN TIME with ya boy. Now mind you, by this point I've been drinking and smoking so when they hit me I was straight curred on the couch sleeping. I make quick dash around the crib cleaning up as fast as possible and getting my **** together. My heart was beating so damn fast, bruh's I ain't got to front I was excited as hell. I ain't never had no threesome and this was it. Then I had a epiphany.

One of my roommates sold pills and I knew for a fact he had Viagra somewhere in his room. If I was gonna run the biggest race of my life I need every edge I can get word to Ben Johnson. I call him up he tells me where it is but its all mixed up with his other pills ( E or Molly's or whatever you call them, back then we said Thizz).

Now the problem for me was I was drunk as hell and loaded so them ***** all looked the same to me. I find two that are blue but both are different. So in my drunk stupor I figure that if i will just cut both in half and take each. I've taken E plenty of times before and had no issues, and he TOLD me the Viagara was a low dose.

So finally they come over around 2:30 am and its on from the moment they come in. Both had that straight African Booty worthy of praises in the Halls of the Booty thread. Lawd were these girls stacked. So now at this point we make our way to the couch in living room. They pull my pants down and start rocking the mic right word to Beans and Free no homo. They are breaking down sooooooo good I had to sit down. I'm sittitng there with my pants around my ankles getting the treatment so good that I lean my head back and close my eyes to savor.....


I open my eyes and the sun in shinning in my eyes. One of my roommates is poking me with a broomstick from across the room. I'm like WTF bruh and then I look down and realize that i'm still sitting on the couch with my pants around my ankles and my **** hanging out.

And when I saw **** hanging out, my **** is hard a rocket ship. Hard as a statue and sore to the touch . I am sitting there with my **** hanging out as all my roommates stare at me in disbelief. Because of my concoction of weed, Henny and pills when the girls sat me down I immediately fell asleep. I was soo ****** up and tired that when I feel asleep I started snoring and could not be moved. The girls just got they **** together and left me **** out on the couch and went home. I sat there until around 6 in the morning when my roommates make their way back from clubbing all night. Not only do they find me **** hanging out and *** naked on the couch, but these girls had left the door unlocked and cracked open. So on top of it all I got a mean *** cold from the draft of being there naked.

I called the girls back but they never picked up my calls ever again. |I

Cliffs:
Got high and drunk
Girls call up for threesome
Takes Viagra
Fell Asleep while they topped me off
Woke up in the same position with my **** out and my roommates staring at me in disgust.


View media item 452958

 

[T Lo Sweater]

Yo

 

[jjs]

my man could've had the time of his life.

i would like to hear the two girl side of this story

"we got to dude's place, went directly for the johnson and started giving him top.

This dude fell alseep

I don't get it, i've been told my top game is solid |I

So we got up, grabbed a few coins in the change jar and headed to McDonald's"

 

[Peep Game]

 

[Comparison Ford]

I posted two years ago in a thread and this is by far my worst date/hookup story

I've had bigger Ls but this is the biggest I ever took when it came to women

One day all my roommates left to go out to the club and for some reason I just chilled at the house dolo so I was smoking some

and sipping alittle Hen and just cooling out. Around 1:00am I get a text from this Ethiopian girl I had been talking too, but she lived in Stockton so we never really got past sexting and late night cupcakin. However ole girl text me saying she is in the car with her home girl driving back from SF and she wanted to slide through.

I shot up from my sleepy drunk stupor and got excited as hell. I called her back and she was tipsy as hell talking all types of nasty **** on the phone. I tell her give the phone to her friend to give directions and her friend is talking that nasty **** too.

My eyes go

as I realize that these boppers are trying to get it crackin AT THE SAME DAMN TIME with ya boy. Now mind you, by this point I've been drinking and smoking so when they hit me I was straight curred on the couch sleeping. I make quick dash around the crib cleaning up as fast as possible and getting my **** together. My heart was beating so damn fast, bruh's I ain't got to front I was excited as hell. I ain't never had no threesome and this was it. Then I had a epiphany.

One of my roommates sold pills and I knew for a fact he had Viagra somewhere in his room. If I was gonna run the biggest race of my life I need every edge I can get word to Ben Johnson. I call him up he tells me where it is but its all mixed up with his other pills ( E or Molly's or whatever you call them, back then we said Thizz).

Now the problem for me was I was drunk as hell and loaded so them ***** all looked the same to me. I find two that are blue but both are different. So in my drunk stupor I figure that if i will just cut both in half and take each. I've taken E plenty of times before and had no issues, and he TOLD me the Viagara was a low dose.

So finally they come over around 2:30 am and its on from the moment they come in. Both had that straight African Booty worthy of praises in the Halls of the Booty thread. Lawd were these girls stacked. So now at this point we make our way to the couch in living room. They pull my pants down and start rocking the mic right word to Beans and Free no homo. They are breaking down sooooooo good I had to sit down. I'm sittitng there with my pants around my ankles getting the treatment so good that I lean my head back and close my eyes to savor.....


I open my eyes and the sun in shinning in my eyes. One of my roommates is poking me with a broomstick from across the room. I'm like WTF bruh and then I look down and realize that i'm still sitting on the couch with my pants around my ankles and my **** hanging out.

And when I saw **** hanging out, my **** is hard a rocket ship. Hard as a statue and sore to the touch . I am sitting there with my **** hanging out as all my roommates stare at me in disbelief. Because of my concoction of weed, Henny and pills when the girls sat me down I immediately fell asleep. I was soo ****** up and tired that when I feel asleep I started snoring and could not be moved. The girls just got they **** together and left me **** out on the couch and went home. I sat there until around 6 in the morning when my roommates make their way back from clubbing all night. Not only do they find me **** hanging out and *** naked on the couch, but these girls had left the door unlocked and cracked open. So on top of it all I got a mean *** cold from the draft of being there naked.

I called the girls back but they never picked up my calls ever again.

Cliffs:
Got high and drunk
Girls call up for threesome
Takes Viagra
Fell Asleep while they topped me off
Woke up in the same position with my **** out and my roommates staring at me in disgust.

Hall of Fame-worthy. 

 

[slighted]

@Law3001 -- I admire your honesty and acceptance of the L.

 

[law3001]

more than a few Nters know me in real life and know my *** collection is not to be trifled with.

With that said I don't care how cold of a playa you seem you take Ls

That **** happened ten years ago

 

[c hanna]

dbl

 

[c hanna]

Do you feel like you goof'd?

I have 2 thoughts...
1) maybe she was shy meeting someone random from the internet and staying in a hotel with them half-way across the US..so was playing it off and didn't want to seem too easy
2) she hated me from the moment she met me and was just using me to show her around town while she was there by herself..and tried to turn it onto me when she saw I left




who knows

 

[49ersaaron8]

Incredible A+ usage.

 

[robtoofresco]

I posted two years ago in a thread and this is by far my worst date/hookup story

I've had bigger Ls but this is the biggest I ever took when it came to women


One day all my roommates left to go out to the club and for some reason I just chilled at the house dolo so I was smoking some and sipping alittle Hen and just cooling out. Around 1:00am I get a text from this Ethiopian girl I had been talking too, but she lived in Stockton so we never really got past sexting and late night cupcakin. However ole girl text me saying she is in the car with her home girl driving back from SF and she wanted to slide through.

I shot up from my sleepy drunk stupor and got excited as hell. I called her back and she was tipsy as hell talking all types of nasty **** on the phone. I tell her give the phone to her friend to give directions and her friend is talking that nasty **** too.

My eyes go as I realize that these boppers are trying to get it crackin AT THE SAME DAMN TIME with ya boy. Now mind you, by this point I've been drinking and smoking so when they hit me I was straight curred on the couch sleeping. I make quick dash around the crib cleaning up as fast as possible and getting my **** together. My heart was beating so damn fast, bruh's I ain't got to front I was excited as hell. I ain't never had no threesome and this was it. Then I had a epiphany.

One of my roommates sold pills and I knew for a fact he had Viagra somewhere in his room. If I was gonna run the biggest race of my life I need every edge I can get word to Ben Johnson. I call him up he tells me where it is but its all mixed up with his other pills ( E or Molly's or whatever you call them, back then we said Thizz).

Now the problem for me was I was drunk as hell and loaded so them ***** all looked the same to me. I find two that are blue but both are different. So in my drunk stupor I figure that if i will just cut both in half and take each. I've taken E plenty of times before and had no issues, and he TOLD me the Viagara was a low dose.

So finally they come over around 2:30 am and its on from the moment they come in. Both had that straight African Booty worthy of praises in the Halls of the Booty thread. Lawd were these girls stacked. So now at this point we make our way to the couch in living room. They pull my pants down and start rocking the mic right word to Beans and Free no homo. They are breaking down sooooooo good I had to sit down. I'm sittitng there with my pants around my ankles getting the treatment so good that I lean my head back and close my eyes to savor.....


I open my eyes and the sun in shinning in my eyes. One of my roommates is poking me with a broomstick from across the room. I'm like WTF bruh and then I look down and realize that i'm still sitting on the couch with my pants around my ankles and my **** hanging out.

And when I saw **** hanging out, my **** is hard a rocket ship. Hard as a statue and sore to the touch . I am sitting there with my **** hanging out as all my roommates stare at me in disbelief. Because of my concoction of weed, Henny and pills when the girls sat me down I immediately fell asleep. I was soo ****** up and tired that when I feel asleep I started snoring and could not be moved. The girls just got they **** together and left me **** out on the couch and went home. I sat there until around 6 in the morning when my roommates make their way back from clubbing all night. Not only do they find me **** hanging out and *** naked on the couch, but these girls had left the door unlocked and cracked open. So on top of it all I got a mean *** cold from the draft of being there naked.

I called the girls back but they never picked up my calls ever again. |I

Cliffs:
Got high and drunk
Girls call up for threesome
Takes Viagra
Fell Asleep while they topped me off
Woke up in the same position with my **** out and my roommates staring at me in disgust.


View media item 452958

Djejsjwjjswjwjwjjwmwjwjwjwjsjsjsjs

LEGEND status, b.

Legit made my day

 

[$tacy]

Winner

 

[a55a5in11]

Law

 

[chasekaboom]

Ahahahaha wow... Priceless.

 

[TURBO UNO]

Story had me giggling to tears

 

[Nawzlew]

I posted two years ago in a thread and this is by far my worst date/hookup story

I've had bigger Ls but this is the biggest I ever took when it came to women


One day all my roommates left to go out to the club and for some reason I just chilled at the house dolo so I was smoking some and sipping alittle Hen and just cooling out. Around 1:00am I get a text from this Ethiopian girl I had been talking too, but she lived in Stockton so we never really got past sexting and late night cupcakin. However ole girl text me saying she is in the car with her home girl driving back from SF and she wanted to slide through.

I shot up from my sleepy drunk stupor and got excited as hell. I called her back and she was tipsy as hell talking all types of nasty **** on the phone. I tell her give the phone to her friend to give directions and her friend is talking that nasty **** too.

My eyes go as I realize that these boppers are trying to get it crackin AT THE SAME DAMN TIME with ya boy. Now mind you, by this point I've been drinking and smoking so when they hit me I was straight curred on the couch sleeping. I make quick dash around the crib cleaning up as fast as possible and getting my **** together. My heart was beating so damn fast, bruh's I ain't got to front I was excited as hell. I ain't never had no threesome and this was it. Then I had a epiphany.

One of my roommates sold pills and I knew for a fact he had Viagra somewhere in his room. If I was gonna run the biggest race of my life I need every edge I can get word to Ben Johnson. I call him up he tells me where it is but its all mixed up with his other pills ( E or Molly's or whatever you call them, back then we said Thizz).

Now the problem for me was I was drunk as hell and loaded so them ***** all looked the same to me. I find two that are blue but both are different. So in my drunk stupor I figure that if i will just cut both in half and take each. I've taken E plenty of times before and had no issues, and he TOLD me the Viagara was a low dose.

So finally they come over around 2:30 am and its on from the moment they come in. Both had that straight African Booty worthy of praises in the Halls of the Booty thread. Lawd were these girls stacked. So now at this point we make our way to the couch in living room. They pull my pants down and start rocking the mic right word to Beans and Free no homo. They are breaking down sooooooo good I had to sit down. I'm sittitng there with my pants around my ankles getting the treatment so good that I lean my head back and close my eyes to savor.....


I open my eyes and the sun in shinning in my eyes. One of my roommates is poking me with a broomstick from across the room. I'm like WTF bruh and then I look down and realize that i'm still sitting on the couch with my pants around my ankles and my **** hanging out.

And when I saw **** hanging out, my **** is hard a rocket ship. Hard as a statue and sore to the touch . I am sitting there with my **** hanging out as all my roommates stare at me in disbelief. Because of my concoction of weed, Henny and pills when the girls sat me down I immediately fell asleep. I was soo ****** up and tired that when I feel asleep I started snoring and could not be moved. The girls just got they **** together and left me **** out on the couch and went home. I sat there until around 6 in the morning when my roommates make their way back from clubbing all night. Not only do they find me **** hanging out and *** naked on the couch, but these girls had left the door unlocked and cracked open. So on top of it all I got a mean *** cold from the draft of being there naked.

I called the girls back but they never picked up my calls ever again. |I

Cliffs:
Got high and drunk
Girls call up for threesome
Takes Viagra
Fell Asleep while they topped me off
Woke up in the same position with my **** out and my roommates staring at me in disgust.


View media item 452958

this is an L with a lightweight W.

 

[gentrification]

Not that bad cuz we cut it short. ***** was mad I smoked weed yada yada...decided 10 minutes in let's just call it off. Went on our ways. Not that bad but it just happened. Trust your gut I don't stay around trying to win over these ****. Its not worth. Bounce one you feel the heat.