Am I in the wrong? Upset g/fs family on Christmas....

Cragmatic said:
You know what, you guys are right.
When we first met, like a week into it, I had to pick her up from a family function because she doesn't have a car. I had only known her a week and didn't get out of the car and meet all of the family. Her aunt proceeded to send her a facebook message about how embarassing it was that I did that and how she needs to be focusing on her life and not messing with anyone :smh:
Her family has ALWAYS been an issue.
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Its not your job to please her family and its not her job to please yours. She should be expressing her happiness with yo with her family and vice versa. If shes not you will have problems. I had a ex and tried to please her family. My ex never stood up for me it was always me. It later showed during our break up.
 
GrimlocK said:
I don't agree with that Power Reppin. While class is not something that can be bought, making an impression on people who use facebook to send stupid comments about you and nitpick about every friggin move you make as if their the gold standard does not really need to be applied....even at a 1 week mark.

If this family was behind this girl, and display great family characteristics then instead of putting focus on what's wrong with someone they themselves would make an effort to get to know OP instead of sideways talk.

[jet set] and that's real [/jet set]
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why can't she be a great girl with d-bags for family members?  If you wanna be with the girl keep the conflict at a minimum with the fam.  The mom could be a druggie, alcoholic, prostitute....that has nothing to do with me.  I keeps it moving and charm them.  Where exactly was the disrespect?  She didn't hang out with him?  She asked him to stay and not leave to the movie?  Is that all it takes to push your lil buttons?

I could see if dude was a black dude dating an indian girl and when he came over they questioned him about being a gang member or something.  But it wasn't that serious.  Dude is just immature. 

Of course as a man you want to carry yourself with respect but this wasn't the battle to pick.  It was trivial and you could've been the bigger man which would show what type of guy you really are to your girl and maybe to the fam if they felt bad about it later.  But naw he just stooped down to a childish level and went tit for tat with people he just met in their house.....
 
Your last statement sums it all up OP. Did you leave your brain with your family also? My advice, run. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Isn't 3 months of dating seem a bit rushed for this step anyway? Idk, that's just what I think.
 
this is after 3 months? imagine the crapfest you'd be dealing with over 3 years.

you may not have approached it the way i would have, but you possibly avoided a long term L.
 
I'll read this thread later.. By scanning through the first page of this thread.. It look like op took a L
 
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alright I see where you comin from now.

But as far as i'm concerned I have yet to meet a female that knew and shared the understanding that their family was at fault in anything concerning unnecessary behaviors or attitudes towards potential members from the outside.

They only get really bothered and vent when it has something they feel their right about and are going up against their family and are seeking validation.

I'm grown now and I understand to give people time and first impressions count....but i'll be damned if I'm gonna put up with a girl not checking her family past the few months mark after meeting them if it comes to that. There is only so much you can let slide before it becomes offensive and then you have to gauge how much this girl makes you happy in order to keep her.
 
Cragmatic said:
You know what, you guys are right.

When we first met, like a week into it, I had to pick her up from a family function because she doesn't have a car. I had only known her a week and didn't get out of the car and meet all of the family. Her aunt proceeded to send her a facebook message about how embarassing it was that I did that and how she needs to be focusing on her life and not messing with anyone :smh:

Her family has ALWAYS been an issue.
Click to expand...

I'd let it go. It isn't all that serious. You were in the right IMO, you made plans, and you brushed off your fam to spend Christmas with her fam. I she wasn't there the whole time, why would she take interest in a conversation after you leave? :smh: I hate meeting parents man, but her siblings tho. I would have tiger uppercut that sister.

Jk

balloonoboy said:
You airing out all her fam's business tho. Damn.
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We don't know who she is tho. So does it count? :lol:
 
You had a really bad excuse to leave their home... to watch a movie... REALLY? A MOVIE YOU ****!1 A MOVIE, you can't be serious. Something like "oh I have to go, I have family members waiting for me" would have sufficed or you could have just looked at your watch and told her you had to go back home etc.. C'mon man, you can't be serious. I like how you disrespected the lady in her own home for making you wait. You should already know what these type of commitments mean, a waste of damn time. Learn from this and never commit yourself again if you have to go watch "a movie" as your excuse for leaving early, specially when you guys aren't well acquainted either.

EDIT- are you serious right now? How are you guys telling him he's in the right for disrespecting her like that? ARE YOU GUYS DENSE?! The man is in the wrong, he should have never agreed if he had plans from the jump, it doesn't matter if she went out of the way to take an hour long ****, the man should have handled this like a damn adult, not like a butthurt child. If he was that desperate to leave early to catch his flick, he should of went out of his way and looked for her and talked to her for a bit so when it was time to go everything would have turned out a bit better. Obviously, he didn't think this through, so now he takes the L.

You were not a gentlemen nor a scholar last night OP.
 
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Cragmatic said:
Her mom is syrian and her dad is Jewish, but she doesn't speak to her dad... lets just say she has serious daddy issues... was another red flag....
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eek..

middle eastern mothers are much harder to please that latin parents IMO..or any other parents, they are up there with asian folk..

the moms are usually very conservative and dont really feel anyone is good enough...thank god the dad isnt around..
laugh.gif


she sounds like a headache to begin with..you should really be able to tell what kind of girl she is the first week..

some people are just better than others in figuring out a persons demeanor and character from the 1st impression.

MOVE ON..
 
MikeTysontheKiller said:
You had a really bad excuse to leave their home... to watch a movie... REALLY? A MOVIE YOU ****!1 A MOVIE, you can't be serious. Something like "oh I have to go, I have family members waiting for me" would have sufficed or you could have just looked at your watch and told her you had to go back home etc.. C'mon man, you can't be serious. I like how you disrespected the lady in her own home for making you wait. You should already know what these type of commitments mean, a waste of damn time. Learn from this and never commit yourself again if you have to go watch "a movie" as your excuse for leaving early, specially when you guys aren't well acquainted either.

EDIT- are you serious right now? How are you guys telling him he's in the right for disrespecting her like that? ARE YOU GUYS DENSE?! The man is in the wrong, he should have never agreed if he had plans from the jump, it doesn't matter if she went out of the way to take an hour long ****, the man should have handled this like a damn adult, not like a butthurt child. If he was that desperate to leave early to catch his flick, he should of went out of his way and looked for her and talked to her for a bit so when it was time to go everything would have turned out a bit better. Obviously, he didn't think this through, so now he takes the L.

You were not a gentlemen nor a scholar last night OP.
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He left his family to get to know her as she was desperately begging, and when he finally got there she disappeared. On Christmas too. It's not just about the movie though, he had his day planned. Talk to the mother for 2 hours or so, then dip out with his (ex) girl to see a movie at the end of the day. If someone is begging to meet me, and I go out of my way to make time in my schedule to be with them then they better own up to the commitment too. If not tell me so I can go on about my business and reschedule. Both parties were at fault, but OP did what he should have.

The siblings didn't have to chime in either, if homeboy works a bestbuy then he works there. The sister didn't have to say he couldn't support her. Who says that to a dude when he is basically just starting this relationship? So his natural reaction is to stand up for himself telling the sister that she has no right to say anything to him about a job when she is a blogger and her husband works at staples. And the sister would be around his age so there is no elder respect needed there :lol:

Anyway, if the mother had something to do she should have told him so they could reschedule for New Years or something. If I were op I wouldn't her ruin my Christmas because she can't look at a Calander.
 
balloonoboy said:
Sir Charles said:
balloonoboy said:
You airing out all her fam's business tho. Damn.
Click to expand...

We don't know who she is tho. So does it count? :lol:
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Hypothetically speaking, if they were to get back together, he just put her business out there. It's a trust issue. If I confide in someone, I don't want the whole world knowing, especially those people whose business it is.
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True, but it looks like op is finished with this one.

I prefer to keep personal issues like this out of nt but it's fun to read :lol:
 
GrimlocK said:
daddy issues is a major red flag....
I remember my ex had a practically non existent father and at 22 years of age me to tell her a story she would constantly ask on the phone before she went to bed....after 2-3 times I was like "**** this....girl you need to grow up"
Tellin straight fables, fambs....FABLES!
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Yea i woulda said **** this too fam
 
Cragmatic said:
lol where are people getting their info from?
Her mom is syrian and her dad is Jewish, but she doesn't speak to her dad... lets just say she has serious daddy issues... was another red flag....
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move along bruh
tired.gif


not generalizing for all girls with daddy issues but the two exes i had that had daddy issues ended in a trainwreck, just keep chugging along, she'll be fine stripping for a living
 
It's the lady's fault but just take the L fam. If you see yourself with your girl for a while then just take the L cause this isn't something you can win
 
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