Girlfriend Got raped... Need to Vent.. Updated Information at pg1

wish there was a legit company that investigated these situations. 

it is very serious and should be treated as such, whether or not people use alcohol or an actual weapon.........

anyhooo........i hope things turn out well op, even if she is lying......
 
i barely read any of the thread other then the OP so forgive me if this has been said, but your girl gets raped and the first thing you do is come to NT? I'da been on the first thing smoking to TX.
 
laugh.gif
at you even attempting to rationalize female logic.

Why would a girl make up a story to put herself as the victim when she's wrong ?

Why would a girl make up a story to put herself as the victim when she's wrong ?

Why would a girl make up a story to put herself as the victim when she's wrong?

Hopefully me asking 3x will help you understand.
he's a virgin bruh, leave him be
laugh.gif
 
You should leave her. It'll be hard, if not impossible, for you to get over this ordeal and you'll always see her in a different light.

Besides, you're in college, and it's a long distance relationship, you might as well make the most of your time in college.

Being a good guy though, you should still give her a shoulder to lean on for the time being... then bounce. :lol:
 
This story is still suspect as hell. So she passed out in a room or on a couch or something? Is the guy really admitting to have raped her? I find that hard to believe.

This was a guy that was trying to get at her before? Had she mentioned this to you before this incident? :smh:

Why would she go to a party where dudes trying to get at her are present when she has a bf already? That is some questionable behaviour from a gf but you may have different standards. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain especially when one side is going to parties with dudes that are hitting on her.

I know this girl who is in a long term relationship with some guy from Mexico. She has this YOLO mentality when it comes to life. She had a one night stand with a married man and got pregnant. She was panicking for like a week trying to decide what to do and finally had an abortion. She then spent the xmas break with her bf in Mexico. I doubt she will ever tell him.

Moral of the story is that long term relationships do not work. Long term relationships with too much drama are even worse.

It is unfortunate if she did get raped and you may need to be there for her short term but long term I would bail out.
 
Me and my girlfriend have a long distance relationship currently due to her being in Texas and me in NYC in college. She called me crying to tell me about few hours ago that yesterday at her sisters party she got raped by some guy. She is sure of it and was scared at what to do and called me but me listening to it all, I just had my mind blank out and choke up. She was waiting for her sister to talk to mofo with her bf and find out what happened to be sure before my gf officially goes to the cops. I told her to go get a rape kit done and call cops and tell her parents but she said she wants to be sure before doing anything. I got enraged and told her if she was lying to play this off and as an excuse for what she did but with out a doubt im sure she did got raped now. I'm waiting for more info now but I don't know what to do. I feel so bad and powerless now and I feel so bad right now. I just needed to vent guys ....idk what else to do.



Just to add few more details, she was drinking but not wasted type but everyone else was and when she woke up she knew what had happened and was frantic. She tells me now that she is doesn't know what to do and all that.

Update:

It officially is a rape now that her mom knows and today she went to planned parenthood and she was given a Plan B pill and appointment for a medical check up and get tested. She told me though she does not want to press charges and made up her mind to which she told me this morning. I broke down hard and felt like crap and a deep pain when she told me that. I went to my counselor in college and I literally just let it all out and explained to her what happened. She and another head of the counseling department spoke to me for over an hour and made me think and realize everything. She said to understand that many women don't report it to the police because our court system will drag this to well over months or even years and it would be a constant reminder of what happened and how society will label her as a **** and all that crap we hear about in the news. She just brought out facts and after the whole talk I was able to regain my self and walk out with a clear head. I am going to be there for her and support her because there is no doubt my girl is broken by all this and she just wants to let the healing process begin. I wanna thank you guys as well for the positive comments and I know many of you had the same reaction I initially had about her lying to cover up something but there is no doubt now she was raped.


This is how is went down by all accounts of what people told me and parents and herself once she was at planned parenthood.
It was a party/gathering. Drinking was involved but my girl wasn't feeling in the mood but still drank. She took her medicine from her doctor prescription then drank one drink they were giving and went to lay down as she texted me. She tells me this guy was there that has tried in past to hit on her was there and was getting wasted with everyone else including her sister. So she basically knows the **** who did it and he owned up to it and said he was just wasted and out of his mind. Next thing she wakes up with her clothes off and realizes what has happened and tells her sister. She tells her to go check herself in the bathroom for bruises marks and anything that will show rape has occurred. She has no bruises but checks her privates and sees it is sore and has the obvious inside of her to which she breaks down. She tells her sis and they go out to find the guy and confront him while my gf stays home not knowing what to do. She then told those things I wrote initially not being able to think right and confuses me initially and gives me doubts by not wanting to get anything done or telling parents. I threatened her saying if she is lying to cover up some bs excuse and that I will tell her parents myself but she tells me to hold on. She later does tell her mom and her moms goes crazy but then calms down telling her that she is by her side and that it is her decision to what she wants to do, meaning my gf decision. I was upset and basically told her I dont wanna deal with this and she starts to breakdown saying I cant leave her when she needs me now more than ever and cant go through this just with her parents and herself alone. I managed to calm her and she goes to sleep. Today she went with her mom and friend to planned parenthood to get a Plan B pill and they give her an appointment to go get checked up and tested for everything. She now has to get checked every 6 months for HIV for the next 5 years along with any other std. I then get heated again when she tells me she wont press charges because it will only be dragged in court for months and years even which will cause her pain and daily reminders of what happened. That is what she told me and her close friend told me as well to think about it. I then went to my counselor in college and then went to the head and they just broke it down for me as they have dealt with this situations of rape and trying to make me understand why a woman wont go to the cops.

At this point I just wanna get through this as best I can and help her because what started off as a unclear story and suspicions just as you all said, just was confirmed to me by others, her mom and herself.

New edit:
The guy was not there come morning time, he disappeared the next morning and he was the only missing person from all the other people there and is why my gf sis with her bf went out to fin him and confront him. She may as well been have given something as all u said just one drink and then the guy knowing this took advantage of it and then left.

That being said I was already going through some personal family matters that put me in a depression stage and this just put me down in a place where I can never get myself out. You all may say im soft beta and to get out but when a man is kicked this deep down in a hole there is nothing else that matters other than getting my family through with our issues and being a supportive person to a person who is with her mom seeing a counselor at this moment. If i walk away what good will come from it, have this in the back of my mind knowing I walked away from a person I supposedly loved. Im not trying to talk my way into sounding like Im right or convincing myself but depression really hits hard and all i care about is moving forward, getting my degree and helping a person out. You all have right to say im a ***** for being there for a person going through this.


KEEP YOUR HEAD UP BRO.

PM ME IF U WANT ALSO.

I HAVE PROVIDED GROUP THERAPY FOR TEENS FOR OVER 6 YEARS AND I AM CURRENTLY COMPLETING MY MASTERS.

ITS SO DIFFICULT TO FACE SITUATIONS LIKE THIS, NOT ONLY FOR THE VICTIM BUT FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HER.

JUST KNOW, IT IS NORMAL TO BE ANGRY. IT IS NORMAL TO BE UPSET, TO DOUBT, TO WONDER, AND TO BE SAD.

MORE AND MORE PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN AN EVENT OCCURS IN LIFE, WHETHER IT BE A TRAGEDY OR NOT, THE TRANSITION FROM THAT EVENT IS VITAL.

NOT ONLY DOES IT DEFINE YOUR INDIVIDUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS, BUT IT CAN ALSO BE THE SOURCE OF DYSFUNCTION.
 
I JUST WENT BACK AND READ SOME OF THE COMMENTS.

OUTSIDE OF THE TALKS OF CHEATING. FINE.

BUT IM REALLY SHOCKED AT SOME OF THE RESPONSES IN HERE.

DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT RAPE IS CORRECT?

YOU GUYS DO KNOW WHAT CONSENT IS RIGHT?



ITS SAD BECAUSE I HAD A CONVO W A CLASSMATE TWO WEEKS BACK AND SHE CONFIDED THAT BEING RAPED IS ONE OF HER BIGGEST FEARS; ALTHOUGH SHE NEVER HAS BEEN CLOSE TO THE SITUATION OR HAVE KNOWN ANYONE TO BEEN RAPED.

SHE SAID, I FEEL LIKE MOST WOMEN HAVE THAT FEAR. ITS THE WORST WAY TO VIOLATE A WOMEN.
 
This story got too many cliches for me to take it at face value. In fact I'm more inclined to not believe it

If she did get tipsy, and let things go to far wit dude
Wakes up and is like ohhh ****, I dun goofed
Sets the backstory for rape wit her sis
You question her story, like any logical person would do
She guilt trips you, big red flag
She escalates it by telling moms and going to the doctor, she has nothing to lose doing these things.
She won't do the one thing that might have adverse effects, her going to the cops, because that might expose her lies. Another red flag

The story is damb fishy

If you gonna stay with her, because if she really did get rape it would kinda be a d-bag thing to do, you now have to be on high alert.

If she starts using the rape as an excuse for bad behavior then that's another huge red flag. Then rape or no rape, you would have to definitely break up with her.

But I would start getting my mind right to set her go brah.
 
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I JUST WENT BACK AND READ SOME OF THE COMMENTS.

OUTSIDE OF THE TALKS OF CHEATING. FINE.

BUT IM REALLY SHOCKED AT SOME OF THE RESPONSES IN HERE.

DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT RAPE IS CORRECT?

YOU GUYS DO KNOW WHAT CONSENT IS RIGHT?



ITS SAD BECAUSE I HAD A CONVO W A CLASSMATE TWO WEEKS BACK AND SHE CONFIDED THAT BEING RAPED IS ONE OF HER BIGGEST FEARS; ALTHOUGH SHE NEVER HAS BEEN CLOSE TO THE SITUATION OR HAVE KNOWN ANYONE TO BEEN RAPED.

SHE SAID, I FEEL LIKE MOST WOMEN HAVE THAT FEAR. ITS THE WORST WAY TO VIOLATE A WOMEN.


You have great points... but why are you YELLING!!!! >:
 
I JUST WENT BACK AND READ SOME OF THE COMMENTS.

OUTSIDE OF THE TALKS OF CHEATING. FINE.

BUT IM REALLY SHOCKED AT SOME OF THE RESPONSES IN HERE.

DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT RAPE IS CORRECT?

YOU GUYS DO KNOW WHAT CONSENT IS RIGHT?



ITS SAD BECAUSE I HAD A CONVO W A CLASSMATE TWO WEEKS BACK AND SHE CONFIDED THAT BEING RAPED IS ONE OF HER BIGGEST FEARS; ALTHOUGH SHE NEVER HAS BEEN CLOSE TO THE SITUATION OR HAVE KNOWN ANYONE TO BEEN RAPED.

SHE SAID, I FEEL LIKE MOST WOMEN HAVE THAT FEAR. ITS THE WORST WAY TO VIOLATE A WOMEN.

This right here, seeing how many people think that "drunk sex" is OK had me shaking my head. I didn't learn the lesson the hard way, but I've known ever since I was in high school that you're better off going home and tugging one out than hooking up with a girl that's too drunk and catching a charge.
 
I JUST WENT BACK AND READ SOME OF THE COMMENTS.

OUTSIDE OF THE TALKS OF CHEATING. FINE.

BUT IM REALLY SHOCKED AT SOME OF THE RESPONSES IN HERE.

DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT RAPE IS CORRECT?

YOU GUYS DO KNOW WHAT CONSENT IS RIGHT?



ITS SAD BECAUSE I HAD A CONVO W A CLASSMATE TWO WEEKS BACK AND SHE CONFIDED THAT BEING RAPED IS ONE OF HER BIGGEST FEARS; ALTHOUGH SHE NEVER HAS BEEN CLOSE TO THE SITUATION OR HAVE KNOWN ANYONE TO BEEN RAPED.

SHE SAID, I FEEL LIKE MOST WOMEN HAVE THAT FEAR. ITS THE WORST WAY TO VIOLATE A WOMEN.
This right here, seeing how many people think that "drunk sex" is OK had me shaking my head. I didn't learn the lesson the hard way, but I've known ever since I was in high school that you're better off going home and tugging one out than hooking up with a girl that's too drunk and catching a charge.
Well, lets ignore this situation since we don't know what happened.

If two people are drunk, why is it the guy's fault that they had sex? If neither used force and both were willing albeit inebriated, then the girl raped the guy just as much as the guy raped the girl. 
 
She won't do the one thing that might have adverse effects, her going to the cops, because that might expose her lies. Another red flag .

A lot of women are afraid of going to the cops for many reasons. Rape is hard to convict, with 97% of rapists never spending a day in jail. Also, going through the trial will have her reliving the trauma. Throw in the low conviction rate with the trauma of having to relive the terror, I could see how it would be a difficult to go to authorities. And then there is this; the girl's integrity will be lambasted and put on trial....as it has been done in this thread by too many idiots to mention. Not going to the authorities isn't a sign that she wasn't raped. If anything it's a sign that reliving the terror isn't worth the huge probability that this guy gets off.

But really guys, feel free to convey your own insecurities as you see fit.
 
This thread alone should tell you guys why women are afraid to go to the police when they're raped.

Nobody's trying to get interrogated right after one of the worst things possible happens.
 
Well, lets ignore this situation since we don't know what happened.

If two people are drunk, why is it the guy's fault that they had sex? If neither used force and both were willing albeit inebriated, then the girl raped the guy just as much as the guy raped the girl. 

In that situation no one would be in a legal position to consent. If a guy wanted to he could press the issue and have charges brought forth as well, it'd be a costly legal mess to sort through, and sadly in this country there's very few guys that would report a rape.
 
I JUST WENT BACK AND READ SOME OF THE COMMENTS.

OUTSIDE OF THE TALKS OF CHEATING. FINE.

BUT IM REALLY SHOCKED AT SOME OF THE RESPONSES IN HERE.

DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT RAPE IS CORRECT?

YOU GUYS DO KNOW WHAT CONSENT IS RIGHT?



ITS SAD BECAUSE I HAD A CONVO W A CLASSMATE TWO WEEKS BACK AND SHE CONFIDED THAT BEING RAPED IS ONE OF HER BIGGEST FEARS; ALTHOUGH SHE NEVER HAS BEEN CLOSE TO THE SITUATION OR HAVE KNOWN ANYONE TO BEEN RAPED.

SHE SAID, I FEEL LIKE MOST WOMEN HAVE THAT FEAR. ITS THE WORST WAY TO VIOLATE A WOMEN.

I wonder if some of these guys have sisters and mothers.
 
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She won't do the one thing that might have adverse effects, her going to the cops, because that might expose her lies. Another red flag .

A lot of women are afraid of going to the cops for many reasons. Rape is hard to convict, with 97% of rapists never spending a day in jail. Also, going through the trial will have her reliving the trauma. Throw in the low conviction rate with the trauma of having to relive the terror, I could see how it would be a difficult to go to authorities. And then there is this; the girl's integrity will be lambasted and put on trial....as it has been done in this thread by too many idiots to mention. Not going to the authorities isn't a sign that she wasn't raped. If anything it's a sign that reliving the terror isn't worth the huge probability that this guy gets off.

But really guys, feel free to convey your own insecurities as you see fit.

:rolleyes

Good job at taking one sentence of what I wrote and putting your own context to it.

I never argued that this by itself means she is lying. I was breaking down key parts of her story critically to point out why it sounds fishy to me.

Dudes are skeptical about stories like this not because they are insecure, it is because girls crying rape to cover up infidelity happens all the time. I don't she anything wrong with telling the OP to be cautious.

I have family members who where raped, date a couple females that told me they were raped, I have seen it's effects and I can only imagine the horror victims have to go through, sometimes for the rest of their lives. But that doesn't mean I separate myself from logic every time a girl cries rape. The story still sounds fishy, period

So hop down off your high horse, other dudes said way worse things that me. How about digging for them instead of just editing a post you saw on the last page and attacking it.
 
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This thread alone should tell you guys why women are afraid to go to the police when they're raped.

Nobody's trying to get interrogated right after one of the worst things possible happens.
Yep
 
:rolleyes

Good job at taking one sentence of what I wrote and putting your own context to it.

I never argued that this by itself means she is lying. I was breaking down key parts of her story critically to point out why it sounds fishy to me.

Dudes are skeptical about stories like this not because they are insecure, it is because girls crying rape to cover up infidelity happens all the time. I don't she anything wrong with telling the OP to be cautious.

I have family members who where raped, date a couple females that told me they were raped, I have seen it's effects and I can only imagine the horror victims have to go through, sometimes for the rest of their lives. But that doesn't mean I separate myself from logic every time a girl cries rape. The story still sounds fishy, period

So hop down off your high horse, other dudes said way worse things that me. How about digging for them instead of just editing a post you saw on the last page and attacking it.

I just posted your example because it isn't indicative of a red flag at all. I didn't take anything out of context whatsoever. Conversely, maybe she didn't go to the cops because it wasn't worth her integrity and character being dragged through the mud in order to try to convict someone that probably won't be convicted anyway. Again, not a red flag. Her not knowing exactly what happened would be detrimental to her case. I wasn't targeting just you. You're just one of the many who have said things that are of no relevance.

Dudes are skeptical about stories like this not because they are insecure, it is because girls crying rape to cover up infidelity happens all the time.

So she would lie to cover up an infidelity that OP would have known about in the first place? Your examples of why you think this story is fishy are pretty terrible. Instead of pointing out what you think are red flags, why don't you wave a white flag and surrender? You've already surrendered any logic here.
 
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