Penis Related Accidents Complied From 2013.......MS PAINT CONTEST + NTer STORIES

Everytime you think you may be a perv someone or something quickly reminds you that you aint s***
 
Flyeed said:
WAS WALKING IN HOME AND FELL THROUGH THE FLOOR BOARDS STRUCK PENIS

Son how is this not being mentioned

This is what of the funniest things I've ever envisioned in my life
Click to expand...
i went to high school with a  guy who was about 300+lbs who said he feel thru his bathroom. dude use to wear a towel for a shirt. it was green. a green towel shirt
 
I was at my grandma crib staying the weekend when I was 15. Eater Baxter was on the cover of a magazine my uncle had so u already know what I had to do. All the lotion/vase line was in her room so I got desperate. I found a corner of lotion in the bathroom n u can tell it was old as hell and I started the process but dried out quick so I needed back up. I found a random tube of cream n fapped it out and war straight. Minutes later my **** got to burning so I went to the bathroom and it was medically prescribed acne cream smh. I was tempted to call 911 but couldn't handle the embarrassment. Went to bed with my **** being in flames smh
 
Those incidents and the personal stories :rofl:

Paging all of the creative minds for those MS Paint collabos too :lol:


The one incident I remember was from football in HS. During our passing warm-ups during pre-game going through the passing tree, and we were doing the 10 yard comeback/hitch. The QB threw it short to me, and I comeback and try to scoop it off the ground. It skipped on the grass right in of me squatting down and nailed me right in between my legs :lol: :smh:

All I could do was limp to the back of the WR line and try to get myself straight for my next throw when I was up...no pun intended...
 
This Thread
roll.gif
 
A friend who worked in an ER told me a story of a dude of placed a ring around his penis, but then he got hard and couldn't get it off.  They tried lubing it up, but didn't work.  Then they had to get some kinda diamond cutter, keep in mind, the dude is in immense pain.  

They finally get the ring off, and as soon as they cut it, dude just starts pissing everywhere. 
roll.gif
 
 
Med school has given me tons of stories to tell at parties.

Not an accident per se, but a friend of mine was working in an urgent care facility, and a dude comes in to get an STD test.
As soon as my friend puts the swab into this guy's pee hole, the guy passes out and starts convulsing.
Eventually he regains consciousness.

We still laugh about it to this day.
 
How the **** do you get a wedding ring around your piece? And WHY?!
 
Last edited:
"LACERATION PENIS WHEN GRABBED DURING BASKETBALL GAME"
That's some good D, you guys can learn a thing or two about defense.
 
when i was little the toilet seat fell on my ish like a mouse trap.

also last year while i was at work, i went to take a piss and had to hurry up because i was really pressed for time..

i got a call over my headset and cut the hose very quickly, i still had pee in it and i somehow tried to make it go down my pee hole..
tired.gif


STUPIDEST ISH IVE EVER DONE TO MY PENIS...

it started to hurt and when i ran back into the bathroom to let the rest out it hurt really bad and blood came out with it 
sick.gif
 

felt like i was pissing out a double edged razor with lemon juice.
 
Last edited:
Willchamberlain said:
I was at my grandma crib staying the weekend when I was 15. Eater Baxter was on the cover of a magazine my uncle had so u already know what I had to do. All the lotion/vase line was in her room so I got desperate. I found a corner of lotion in the bathroom n u can tell it was old as hell and I started the process but dried out quick so I needed back up. I found a random tube of cream n fapped it out and war straight. Minutes later my **** got to burning so I went to the bathroom and it was medically prescribed acne cream smh. I was tempted to call 911 but couldn't handle the embarrassment. Went to bed with my **** being in flames smh
Click to expand...

:rofl:

Worst penis story I got:

Around my junior year in HS I had to get circumcised. At the time me and my girl used to **** like rabbits, multiple times every day. Used to wake up before school, hit her house, smash, head to school, drop her off, smash again a couple of times. Of course when you get circumcised, you gotta be out of commission for a month or two. Had stitches holding my joint together and it was swollen like a potato. :x

Anyway, it's like a month after the surgery and its still not healed all the way. At this point, me and my girl were about to EXPLODE. We both decide to just say **** it and go in anyway. First two minutes was like God taking a ****** soul to heaven b. :smokin But I happen to look down and see some blood on the sheets. I ask her if she was just on her period or had got off (we were grimey, used to smash raw at that time of the month. no ***** given) but she said no. In my head i'm thinking "Son of a *****... :frown:"

I pull out and my **** is literally bleeding like a murder scene and ripped in half. Virtually all the stitches came out and nothing was holding it together. I flipped the **** out, ran to her bathroom butt naked, (her little brother and sister saw me son, wasn't even supposed to be there :smh:) and tried to wrap that joint up with a towel. Probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. It helped she was freaking out too though :lol:

End up having to get it redone and wait ANOTHER 2 months :stoneface:
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

The ultimate sneaker enthusiast community.

NikeTalk was created as a way of giving back to both the sneaker enthusiast community and to the greater global community of which we are all a part.

NikeTalk is NOT affiliated with Nike Inc. in any way, shape, or form. All opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of Nike, Inc.

© 1999-2024 NikeTalk.com

Share this page

Back
Top Bottom