Wiping the butt vol. do you stand or sit?

Stand + Wet Wipes =
pimp.gif




Anybody who doesnt at least wet the tp to finish is a savage. If half melted snickers bar fell on the floor, would you wipe it with only a dry paper towel???
 
tee eye ehm said:
Flushable wipes are costing sewage companies millions of dollars due to clogging the pipes.


Anyways I'm ...

Team Standup.
Team Fold The TP.
Team Look at TP After Each Wipe.
Click to expand...

This is me too. I don't have a flat back either. I got that mass and really can't imagine wiping sitting down. You gotta spread them cheeks to get all up in there and get a clean wipe. Yall boys are crazy thinking poo is just going to randomly fall out while wiping. I'm confused at what kind of dumps you guys are taking.
 
prayformojo said:
All this talk has made me analyze my technique.
- Dump
- tear off paper and fold
- rise off the toliet but do not stand straight
- **turn around and face toliet**
- Bend over and grab my left cheek and spread
- Right hand comes between my legs and reaches back to wipe, back to front.
- Repeat


** when in a stall, I skip the turnaround portion of the procedure


Never really though I had a technique until I started on this thread
Click to expand...

I hope you re not wearing a watch on your right hand lol


tee eye ehm said:
Your tax dollars are hard at work.

For the record, I use baby wipes after TP. I dont flush the wipes though.
Click to expand...

So what do you do with those wipes? Do you have an *** trash bin that you put them in :x i know your bathroom smells like a back of a dumpster if true
 
Last edited:
Right after I poop I hop right into the shower.

If I'm not home and I'm at work I have a private bathroom that has a shower with lockers in it.

I don't use the shower in my work bathroom so I wet toilet paper after using the dry toilet paper.

If I have no choice and am somewhere then I use a lot of dry toilet paper until I cannot see brown anymore.

One time I was in Cali and my boy out there we were chilling with some of his friends. We just ate at a Mexican spot using one of his friends gift card schemes or something. So we go back to his boys crib with some other dudes and some of them are playing poker or cards some are shooting dice and I started getting the bubble guts.

It was pretty big house in the hills but I was trying to dip quick and **** and come back with no one being the wiser. I find a one off bathroom with just a toilet and sink so I use it and just unload on this poor toilet. No one was around so I was free to push out hard and quick like my cheeks were slapping together. So I feel that I'm finished and look and cannot see/find the toilet paper.

This bathroom looks like it's hardly used but I look and there isn't anything in there bone dry except for bottle soap to wash your hands. So I was like I have to do what I have to do.

I got up cocked my *** over the sink and proceeded to clean my buttocks with water using my hands and the soap and cleaned up nicely mind you came out and acted like I was talking to my girl on the phone the whole time.

Told my boy after and he laughed and said I should have said something because they have like 2-3 really nice bathrooms in the crib that I could have used that was fully supplied. A lot of them dudes sniff coke so he said they always get a case of the ***** so it was cool.
 
My approach is the reverse dead lift method, pretty much li swing my hips forward initiate my wipe at the gooch then proceed to wipe until i reach the booty pipe peak then detach to use the mongolian wrist flick of death the tp in the toilet, then i go against the grain with a wet wipe just to go back with the grain with a double fold to make sure there are no remnants of the fecal matter
 
But if you wanna be extreme with a clean smelling booty, this is what can be done

 
prayformojo said:
All this talk has made me analyze my technique.
- Dump
- tear off paper and fold
- rise off the toliet but do not stand straight
- **turn around and face toliet**
- Bend over and grab my left cheek and spread
- Right hand comes between my legs and reaches back to wipe, back to front.
- Repeat

** when in a stall, I skip the turnaround portion of the procedure

Never really thought I had a technique until I started on this thread
Click to expand...
What's the point of turning around to face the toilet? Also, back to front? 
sick.gif
 Smearing doodoo on your taint / scrotum. Lastly, hand BETWEEN the legs? Sounds like way to much opportunity for the thumb knuckle to get dat work. No thanks.
 
Last edited:
Chopper said:
What's the point of turning around to face the toilet? Also, back to front? :x  Smearing doodoo on your taint / scrotum. Lastly, hand BETWEEN the legs? Sounds like way to much opportunity for the thumb knuckle to get dat work. No thanks.
Click to expand...
Yeah, it's quite the production. And Im not sure what the point of it is? Not even sure how this became my rountine, but it is what it is.
And no matter which direction you wipe, smearing doodoo should be avoided. That first wipe needs to be cautionary, then you can get crazy after that if you want.
 
prayformojo said:
Chopper said:
What's the point of turning around to face the toilet? Also, back to front? 
sick.gif
  Smearing doodoo on your taint / scrotum. Lastly, hand BETWEEN the legs? Sounds like way to much opportunity for the thumb knuckle to get dat work. No thanks.
Click to expand...
Yeah, it's quite the production. And Im not sure what the point of it is? Not even sure how this became my rountine, but it is what it is.
And no matter which direction you wipe, smearing doodoo should be avoided. That first wipe needs to be cautionary, then you can get crazy after that if you want.
Click to expand...
laugh.gif
 Alonzo gif.
 
This thread makes me wonder. With the millions of people in the US taking dumps everyday. Where does all the doo doo go??? The ocean?
 
Location: Africa?

Some people over there just use their left hands to wipe, no barrier.
 
WOW.

People really reporting me over a cartoon gif yet post a picture of a real piece of poo with no repercussions.

Lame. I think I know who prolly reported too.
 
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