Why Do People Change?

AgentZero

AgentZero

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A lot in my life has changed these past few months, specifically the people in it. I keep hearing the phrase "people change," but why? Why is it that when people change, it's usually for the worse?

I feel like I've been roughly the same person in terms of my personality and beliefs/opinions on things for many years now and so after I changed into who I am today, I've stayed relatively consistent. I've seen people who I thought were loyal and dedicated to either things or people have their mindsets and loyalties change. People who were once selfless are now selfish, stuff like that.

Do people as a whole lack consistency or commitment to their ideals? Are my college-aged peers still adapting their self-concepts and have they just not matured yet? Does this sort of thing happen as people near adulthood or is it even dependent on age?
 
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Money can change you.
Losing someone or something can change you.
Disappointment in yourself or others can change you.
Stress can change you.
Kids can change you.
Your job or career can change you.


As you get older, all kinds of **** happens and not all of it happens to you. You witness more things. You're aware of how short time is. You look back on life and try to find a way to justify all you been through -- find an ends to the means, so to speak. You have people you thought were you folks, show you their true colors. You do things maybe you never thought you were capable of; good and bad.

I've always been me, but I'd be lying if I said that life didn't take some of my spark away. I'm not dull these days, but that zeal for adventure and living on my own terms has been replaced with responsibility and the image and example that I want my kids to have of me.

Also, some **** that used to matter doesn't mean as much as you get older. Relationships and friendships become more valuable as they become more scarce. You start to see what's really important to you and stop caring so much about pleasing others too.
 
It's part of growing up imo

Different experiences, different outlook on things
 
No one ever stays the same person.

Youre not today who you were yesterday, and you won't be tomorrow who you are today. Time waits for no one, so we all live and learn as a blessing and a curse.
 
I began a huge change in my life a few months ago.

I wasn't myself anymore. I was robotic, anxious, boring, irritable, stressed, unhappy and dead on the inside for a few a while and I didn't even realize it.

One day, it all became too much to handle, and I broke down.

I broke up with my GF because I wasn't giving her the care and attention she deserved and it wasn't fair to her.

I started to find myself. Asked myself who I was, where I was going and what did I want out of life.

I started blowing trees again after 3 years. Shed all stresses and unnecessary worries and started thinking very positively and promised to have love for my fellow man.

Also began rediscovering my spirituality and belief in God after I pretty much stopped believing in Him a while back.

Peace and Happiness is my aim on the daily. I wake up and do whatever I feel will bring me happiness. I'm not thirsty like I was before. I barely ever fap anymore.

Everything was going pretty good until I met this girl a little while ago. After a while, things got pretty complicated and now I feel a deep depression I haven't felt in several years.

I think maybe I went too far away from what I know and now I feel lost in the world. Life is hard.

Seems like alot of people have to find themselves once they reach a certain point in their life. I myself just turned 25 and feel like I'm doing this late.





TL;DR:
The experiences you go through and maybe even the people you meet can change you.
Its up to you to make sure you are happy with the changes in your own life don't lose yourself in your own life like I did.
 
Didn't mean to come across like all change is bad, because it's not. Change can be to fill gaps in your life or to address certain areas. Everyone changes, I just feel like at a certain point you should have a solid understanding of who you are as a person and your mindstate, and any change after that point is rather minimal.

Have my peers not reached this point yet? I don't mean it in any kind of condescending way, I just think I went through this sooner than most do and so my perspective is a little off. Again I know it's not bad in all cases, but I see the majority of people changing for the worse whether it's in relationships or friendships. In my head I'm like "That's not the person I got to be close with." Is that how it typically is or is it just the people in my life?
 
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Same emo **** happening to me brah. Been the worst 4 months of my life emotionally and mentally.

I never really changed my values, but as I got older I found out (llate I might add) that I expect a lot from people. And that some people arent they way I thought they were. Its easy to say to take it easy, but when you have an overthinking brain like me, you feel like everyone else doesnt get it and you kind of have to become like them to keep sane but in reality you cant because you cant just turn off **** for yourself that other people dont even have. Its a very lonely feeling. Even with people around you, you can feel alone. But is also damn horrible when you are physically alone too. And that just makes me more of distraught person which can lead to looking like an a-hole or more selfish or whatever. Its like youre trying to change so you can fit in but its so not you and the overconfidence in the new ego can eventually be an image they take the wrong way. Kind of went on a rant there but meh lol.
 
Imo people either change or go through growth. You either do a 180 or still remain in tact but you branch out.
 
experiences postivie and negative, learning new things about the world, learning new things about yourself...
 
As I grow as a person I see that some of my friends and I are growing apart. The similarities we once shared are fading away. We all walk different paths in life, crossing paths with others. Through the path you choose, you'll get molded a certain way. I do believe that we grow every second of our lives whether it be positive or negative. If life hasn't changed you, you must be living a stagnant life. Learn from failure as well as success.
 
Trust me bruh, you've changed. Nobody ever thinks theyre the one thats change but you have. And not necessarily for the worse....or better.

You dont feel the same way as you did about things as a teen. You dont approach things in the same way. You think you rationalize the same but thats only your "now" brain perceiving itself as the same throughout your life which we know is a lie. Over time you see more, experience more.

And then let me give it to you like this. You might think the dude down the street turned into a snake but in reality you were just blind to it. He prob been slimey but it took you experiencing it firsthand. Guarantee he been finessin cats but you were comfortable because it wasnt you.
 
Lots of good talk in this thread..

I realized as time goes I've changed my perception of things/people. I've improved my outlook. My joys, fears, love, hate feels all the same throughout my life. The things I take in and deliver change. Right now I'm actually going through some **** where my health is getting better, and it's lifting a heavy mental strain on me from the past 2 years. I have energy that has been long nonexistent and I hope it'll only get better.

Something that's been resonating in my mind today -- no validation, no expectations, self-satisfaction. Be your own and don't trip how you need to come off to other people or what you want them to do for you.

FlyNY said:
A thug changes, and love changes, and best friends become strangers
Click to expand...

Word up.
 
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Some people in your life don't actually change at all. They eventually just let their true colors show.

Me, I have changed alot. Don't think I trust anyone 100% anymore. That's not a slight to anyone I know..just been through too much **** and seen friends betray other friends, throwing loyalty out the window to really ever do so again.
 
Life gets more complicated as an adult. You have to start making choices that go against your ideals at points, and the biggest things you experience in life for the most part are usually bad. Everyone eventually experiences the loss of the people they care about most which will change you and probably for the worst. We're fed a lot of ideals as kids too from our parents, school, and the media we consume. There's not much space to improve and a lot of area to become worse when you get into adulthood.

Not to mention you have a very small window into another person's life, intentions, and experiences. It's like an iceberg. All we see is the actions of people and then try to interpret it, and it's literally impossible for you to interpret it 100% correctly.  You aren't the authority on a person's identity to deem whether they've changed and whether they've changed for the better or worse. You don't even see everything they do, much less know the thoughts behind it.
 
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