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TIME aint credible now??
discipline with kids vol:no hitting
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Great...2 editorials (from a minister, of all people), and one study that gives half-hearted support of hitting children.
The fact of the matter is that reality still isn't on your side. There's a 93% agreement of studies regarding spanking--and the consensus states that it's harmful to children overall.
Whether someone has kids or not, we all have the ability to distinguish what's right and wrong when it comes to raising a child. We were all children and we all have memories that stick with us from the past.
Hell...one of the reasons this resonates with me so much is because my mom hit me as a kid. I can say with confidence that I didn't gain anything from it. The only thing it made me do was hide things or lie out of fear of the punishment. The few times she was truly disappointed and didn't hit me had a far greater impact on my desire to do better and change my ways. Her hitting me only made me resent her and distance myself even further.
sn00pee
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Just because its in time doesn't mean its credible. What you posted was an opinionated article. Not necessarily a Times article.
And it seems both articles are from christian backgrounds...
And it seems both articles are from christian backgrounds...
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Do you understand the difference between a study and the opinion of a minister?
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your mom did it wrong.Holding resentment towards the dukes?!
Not over here, sorry.
Like I said it's a very thin line between discipline and abuse but hey I rely on family and experience for parental guidance.
Good luck with your studies
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You still haven't provided one argument as to how spanking is a constructive form of punishment.your mom did it wrong.
Holding resentment towards the dukes?!
Not over here, sorry.
Like I said it's a very thin line between discipline and abuse but hey I rely on family and experience for parental guidance.
Good luck with your studies
And who said "holding" resentment? I have a good relationship with my mom. I'm over it. I understand that nobody is perfect and parents make mistakes. It's just that I can acknowledge that her hitting me did nothing positive for my development as an adult.
You rely on family and parental guidance do determine the proper way to raise a child? Great...so do I and just about everyone else. The only difference is that I look further and research how my actions could possibly impact the person I brought into this earth.
bravelude
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Discipline and abuse are very different things. Most are confused with it though.
Ask Steven Curry if he was spanked. And ask Adrian Peterson if he was spanked. Ask Michael Jordan the same. You'll see the difference.
Ask Steven Curry if he was spanked. And ask Adrian Peterson if he was spanked. Ask Michael Jordan the same. You'll see the difference.
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My daughter is 7 and bad AF when it comes to my mother and her teacher. As soon as me and her mom get involved she shook AF. However we don't hit she just knows with me she act up she gonna lose pretty much every privilege but sitting in the same place and writing what she did wrong 30-40 times (the only other discipline I remembered besides getting wopoed) However it's a new age you beat your kids and they say something in school to the wrong teacher it's over for you. Seems like it's going easy on them but I actually like it. I have seen how girls who got there A** wooped all their lives react to boyfriends etc. they grow up expecting for violence/harm to be done on them for their wrong doing. It's like a mental trigger. I know girls that will act out until you either raise your voice or lay hands. That's not a future I want for my kid at all.
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75% of girls you get your rocks off to online have been either sexually abused or treated like crap by their parents. I'm talking from experience I have met many of these girls before they have gotten on camera and trust me it's not pretty. All I gotta say to parents out there NO MATTER HOW BAD YOUR KIDS GET ESPECIALLY DAUGHTERS NEVER CUT THEM OFF FINANCIALLY. Even if they gotta live with you when their 30 on welfare. If you don't want your kid selling poon in the streets or on the big screen take care of them as much as you can financially until you die. Srsly
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Sir San Diego
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I don't spank my daughters. They know right from wrong and I guess I got lucky having two girls who aren't "bad" and never do anything I really have to check them for. I just talk to them a lot, before they get into trouble so they know why they should do the right things in life.
Do they ever get out of line? Yes. But I can't recall any time that they've been so disrespectful that I've had to do more than threaten to take privileges away. They get that when adults do crimes or break rules, they lose privileges and as kids I run my house the same way. Not telling anyone else how to treat their child though.
I also don't want my girls to think it's ever ok for a man to hit them, so I don't hit them. If they associate someone loving them with violence at a young age, I fear they will also do that as adults. I got spanked as a kid and I think it just made me angrier and more likely to fight someone in confrontational situations growing up.
Do they ever get out of line? Yes. But I can't recall any time that they've been so disrespectful that I've had to do more than threaten to take privileges away. They get that when adults do crimes or break rules, they lose privileges and as kids I run my house the same way. Not telling anyone else how to treat their child though.
I also don't want my girls to think it's ever ok for a man to hit them, so I don't hit them. If they associate someone loving them with violence at a young age, I fear they will also do that as adults. I got spanked as a kid and I think it just made me angrier and more likely to fight someone in confrontational situations growing up.
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before i had a kid, i had every intention to use spanking as a means for discipline. now that i have a son and he's almost 2.5, I agree with snoope and comparison ford. my wife and i don't hit him. disciplining him is an involved process and after watching my wife lecture him for 20 minutes the other night, i'm sure my son would have rather taken a few whacks and have been done with it
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How are you gonna lecture a 2 1/2 year old for 20 minutes, bruh?
mr marcus
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edit: don't see how any father can whoop their daughter...at least pop her hand or something
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mr marcus
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I had a professor in college say something similar about father/daughter relationship and it's killing me I can't remember his quote.
But yea chicks w/ father issues end up pretty damn lost in this world. Even if they have some career success they still have serious issues in their relationships. Personally I don't even want a woman that has daddy issues. broads be crazy/possessive
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I honestly think physical discipline is the lazy way out. You can properly raise a child without raising a hand.
Somewhat related example, My previous manager is od analytical and detailed and wanted to intricately discuss in detail every time I didn't do something the proper way and I DESPISED those conversations. They definitely worked because there were times that I about to cut corners and all I could think about was his response and his go to phrase "is there Reason as to why this wasn't done?", and I'll correct my behavior to avoid hearing his mouth.
I used to think to myself that he would NEVER have to lay hands on his kids because his mouth is enough to discourage them from misbehaving.
Somewhat related example, My previous manager is od analytical and detailed and wanted to intricately discuss in detail every time I didn't do something the proper way and I DESPISED those conversations. They definitely worked because there were times that I about to cut corners and all I could think about was his response and his go to phrase "is there Reason as to why this wasn't done?", and I'll correct my behavior to avoid hearing his mouth.
I used to think to myself that he would NEVER have to lay hands on his kids because his mouth is enough to discourage them from misbehaving.
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IMO is a generational thing, I hear a lot of people say "well my parents beat me and I turned out great" I think back in our days and specially outside this country a beating is actually the go-to method to discipline a kid, it was the idea of respect through fear which IMO worked....worked for me at least.
I wouldn't raise my kids the same way though...seems barbaric, kids will test your patience but you have to be more educated and have other methods rather than raising your hand at them....revolke privileges, open communication, etc. all these can serve as ways to discipline a young child...be active in their daily life, don't be an iPad parent and literally have the kid raise him/her self.
I wouldn't raise my kids the same way though...seems barbaric, kids will test your patience but you have to be more educated and have other methods rather than raising your hand at them....revolke privileges, open communication, etc. all these can serve as ways to discipline a young child...be active in their daily life, don't be an iPad parent and literally have the kid raise him/her self.
The_Isomotion31
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I think it depends on the parent and child. Spanking and hitting never worked on me. Just made me boil on the inside with hatred and filled with the need to reciprocate.
However, with my daughters now I do the old school cliche military punishment ala pushups, jumping jacks, planks. Form better be perfect as well. I'll stand there and lecture them while they are going through their paces and tell them the reasoning for why what they did is wrong. Disrespect just gets added reps or more time in the plank position.
I mostly use jumping jacks when we are in public or outdoor setting. They haven't acted out in public in a while as they hate the thought of having to do 25 jumping jacks counting out loud as I tell them what is up.
I'm trying my best to treat every mis-step as a learning situation. But when they piss me off...Its drop and give me 10-15(the girls are 7.)
The little one is 3. She's seen what her sisters have had to do. At first she thought it was a game. Until she saw them crying while doing it. lol.
Sometimes I'll stop them mid set and ask if they can tell me what they did wrong, why it was wrong and what the consequences would be if I wasn't there to catch them. If they can reason, stop throwing the tantrum and listen. That's the end of that. If not..... +5.
Haven't had a temper tantrum thrown by one of them in a while. lol.
My wife is HUGE on the taking away privileges thing. I'm down for that too. Just gotta pay the piper his pushups or planks first.
However, with my daughters now I do the old school cliche military punishment ala pushups, jumping jacks, planks. Form better be perfect as well. I'll stand there and lecture them while they are going through their paces and tell them the reasoning for why what they did is wrong. Disrespect just gets added reps or more time in the plank position.
I mostly use jumping jacks when we are in public or outdoor setting. They haven't acted out in public in a while as they hate the thought of having to do 25 jumping jacks counting out loud as I tell them what is up.
I'm trying my best to treat every mis-step as a learning situation. But when they piss me off...Its drop and give me 10-15(the girls are 7.)
The little one is 3. She's seen what her sisters have had to do. At first she thought it was a game. Until she saw them crying while doing it. lol.
Sometimes I'll stop them mid set and ask if they can tell me what they did wrong, why it was wrong and what the consequences would be if I wasn't there to catch them. If they can reason, stop throwing the tantrum and listen. That's the end of that. If not..... +5.
Haven't had a temper tantrum thrown by one of them in a while. lol.
My wife is HUGE on the taking away privileges thing. I'm down for that too. Just gotta pay the piper his pushups or planks first.
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The younger the child, the less rationalizing you can do with them. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Theres a thin line between beating and disciplining. I spank my kids, oldest is 3yrs.
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she just kept at him until he broke. she would walk away for a minute and tell him to think and then come back and talk to him about how milk costs money and the differences between clean and dirty and asking him if it was a good choice to throw his milk. the whole time she kept asking if it was a good choice he would say yes and laugh but after all that lecturing he finally, in a voice of utter defeat, he said nooo and then he said sorry mommyHow are you gonna lecture a 2 1/2 year old for 20 minutes, bruh?
then she made him wipe down everything two times we have not had a problem with him getting silly with his milk at dinner since then 
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I'm looking at the articles and they're all pretty subjective. What's "success"? What's a "negative" response? What's the time line for both before and after? I mean it's completely generalizing and bending numbers to suit the needs of the argument.
I'm not saying people HAVE to do anything in particular but it's wrong to say a certain approach is the end all be all. Articles don't even bring up potential medical conditions, parental history, condition of parents, household stability, ect.
I'm not saying people HAVE to do anything in particular but it's wrong to say a certain approach is the end all be all. Articles don't even bring up potential medical conditions, parental history, condition of parents, household stability, ect.
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To those against spanking:
Say there is an energetic 1.5 yr old whose new joy is trying to turn the stove on. How would you set and instill this boundary?
Say there is an energetic 1.5 yr old whose new joy is trying to turn the stove on. How would you set and instill this boundary?
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from when my son was a little over 1, he could reach the knobs on the stove. my wife and i both repeatedly told him from that age that it was dangerous and the stove is HOT/OUCH. if he even touched any part of the stove/oven, one of us would pull him to the side and reiterate why he shouldn't do that. repeatedly. he doesn't mess with it and he also knows that if the light is off in the kitchen, he is not to go in there. would it be easier to slap him and tell him not to do it? probably. i'm not confident in the long-term ramifications of modeling behaviors by use of fear though so we don't do any of that. my son also doesn't watch tv nor does he use the phone or tablet. subsequently, we engage in plenty of dialog and reading and he seems to be responding really well so we'll just keep it like that for now.
and to be very clear, i'm not against spanking. i'm just against spanking my kid. i don't judge other parents because i'm not in their shoes.
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Easy...talk to them and figure out a way to block off the kitchen.
I'm tellin' you...the more you have conversations with your child from early on, the more they'll understand right from wrong.
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I don't have any kids, but I plan on not hitting them when I do. I'm sure that might change when I'm actually in the thick of things, but I've always felt like talking to and allowing for dialogue from as early as possible is the best route to go.
But what the hell do I know, I won't got no kids.
But what the hell do I know, I won't got no kids.
mr marcus
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this
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