Child Support Makes No Sense!

[dathbgboy]

I was a stand up dad took care of my BM and my son. My BM got thrown out her house by her parents and i moved her into my parents crib and went and joined the military. Sending this girl check every month made sure i documented the money i gave her. Next thing you know im coming home for leave to take a break from deployment over seas she moved out of my parents house to hide she was preg by someone else. I see this broad after 1 years and she 7 months preg ready to bust and asked me to take her back and she sorry. I told her str8 up go find that other dude who got you preg and walked off on her never talked to her again.

Next thing you know im getting served child support papers while still serving in the military as a PFC for $900 a month. If anyone knows about the military PFC dont make squat. So I had to lawyer up and fight her in court and pull out all those checks she cashed and i was only able to get it lowered by $200. And my lawyer cost me $3k. The judge didnt even care i was serving over seas and i was a PFC i had to phone in to the court because i was deployed had proof of every payment and they still stuck it to me like i wasn't handling my business. They counted every penny i was making while deployed and thats why it was so high.

She ended up getting preg a third time from another guy and she ended up losing the baby for not watching the baby while he was drinking a bottle now she is in some kind of psychiatric stuff

know my BM wont let me see my son unless i take his brother too who is the kid she got preg with while i was holding her down while on tour in the military i have nothing against the kid its just the principle and the lil dude be giving me hugs and called me dad one time in front of my wife and you should of saw the look on my wife face


Im married now with a new son and every time my BM sees my wife she be disrespecting my wife I still think my BM is jealous and turned spiteful when I left her.

Im out the military and making more money and will not go back to court because i know they will raise it. All you guys saying $400 a month or less is hurting you, I would kill to get mines lowered.


I was the good guy who got burned.

I made some edits

Didn't you post about this a while back, think I remember some of this story. But why won't you try and get custody, if she got pregnant while you were deployed AND lost a child AND doesn't have adequate, stable income, I'm sure you could get custody.

But as @AntBanks81 said, I support all the good dudes out there trying to do right by their children but get screwed by the BM and the system. There's no reason for the system to still be set this way as if everything is black and white. And even worse, some women who leave the kids never have to pay CS to the father. There's no justification for keeping a parent away from their child if they want to be in their lives, none. But the courts give all these bitter/spiteful women all this power.

 

[beh235]

 

I've only read two pages and this thread gave me a headache. There are so many factors that go into why parents have to get to this level. Everyone has their anecdotes and opinions about it, but even still there are generalizations about mothers/fathers involved in the child support process. 

it has less to do with mothers and fathers than it does with lawyers and the legal system. You can be cool with your BM, but once that lawyer gets in her ear screaming $$$$, it's a wrap for most dudes.

For greedy women, yes. But if she's a decent level headed woman that knows the man is doing right by his child, then she won't try to empty his pockets. I say this with a caveat. I could be wrong, but I would assume this would be the case between a couple that was married, working, then got a divorce and worked out custody and child support in the divorce. As a man, and experiencing this, and looking at several different instances of this (no two instances were the same on my personal observation), you have to know there is a level of crazy if you have an extreme crazy CS case with a woman. I don't believe it "pops out of nowhere", I think some people just ignored the potential of it going that way. 

 

[teamjordan79]

 

I've only read two pages and this thread gave me a headache. There are so many factors that go into why parents have to get to this level. Everyone has their anecdotes and opinions about it, but even still there are generalizations about mothers/fathers involved in the child support process. 

it has less to do with mothers and fathers than it does with lawyers and the legal system. You can be cool with your BM, but once that lawyer gets in her ear screaming $$$$, it's a wrap for most dudes.

For greedy women, yes. But if she's a decent level headed woman that knows the man is doing right by his child, then she won't try to empty his pockets. I say this with a caveat. I could be wrong, but I would assume this would be the case between a couple that was married, working, then got a divorce and worked out custody and child support in the divorce. As a man, and experiencing this, and looking at several different instances of this (no two instances were the same on my personal observation), you have to know there is a level of crazy if you have an extreme crazy CS case with a woman. I don't believe it "pops out of nowhere", I think some people just ignored the potential of it going that way. 

id like to know the real numbers as well. What I said is obviously conjecture and anecdotal evidence but I just keep hearing the same damn story over and over again.

 

[blastercombo]

If you're in the military STAY single. Military wives are the WORST. I've seen SO MANY cases of them living double lives based on deployment schedule

 

[nycknicks105]

Yall would be suprised at how many females DONT put the father on child support.

A lot just take the L.

This is very true.

I had a date the other night with a femenist and she was giving crap because I didn't believe in alimony and was telling her how women abuse the system sometimes. ***** was throwing the whole, "well you've built a home and earned the money together. Both parties have an equal share to the estate."

I gave the old, "you wasn't with me shooting in the gym!" quote

 

[ksteezy]

For greedy women, yes. But if she's a decent level headed woman that knows the man is doing right by his child, then she won't try to empty his pockets. I say this with a caveat. I could be wrong, but I would assume this would be the case between a couple that was married, working, then got a divorce and worked out custody and child support in the divorce. As a man, and experiencing this, and looking at several different instances of this (no two instances were the same on my personal observation), you have to know there is a level of crazy if you have an extreme crazy CS case with a woman. I don't believe it "pops out of nowhere", I think some people just ignored the potential of it going that way. 

Exactly. People don't just completely flip the script, event a scorned woman, if you guys had a great foundation, love, respect and trust and things simply didn't work out in the end, assuming you as a man didn't deceive her and cheated...she isn't just gonna screw you over like that....if she does, she was always crazy and the relationship was never that great to begin with.

Build a well founded relationship with your woman, never deceive her, only then think about children with her....instead of running for the quick victory of smashing someone you don't know very well and worst of all bust in her...I seriously can't even feel bad for dudes caught in the whole CS dilemma.

 

[blastercombo]

The hell? Again, I get what you're saying but the guy is STILL at the mercy of the woman. That's a fact. Be as nice as you want but what happens when you've moved on, talking to other females, and baby mom catches feelings?

These perfect world situations aren't set in stone.

You can be a good to the girl as you want and still have things not go your way.

 

[ksteezy]

The hell? Again, I get what you're saying but the guy is STILL at the mercy of the woman. That's a fact. Be as nice as you want but what happens when you've moved on, talking to other females, and baby mom catches feelings?

These perfect world situations aren't set in stone.

Then hopefully she's moved on as well....these "perfect" situations dont exist, because commitment went out the window lonngggg ago....men have a huge lack of accountability....I'm sure for every stand up dude you have 10 deadbeats lined up behind him....of course courts will favor the mother...lol

Build your foundation first and foremost and in the peril of a divorce that foundation will be there to help you guys come to an agreement that would benefit the child....if your woman uses the seed as ammunition, you are a terrible judge of character, that malice was always there and you failed to see it.

 

[heliumclinton]

Yall would be suprised at how many females DONT put the father on child support.

A lot just take the L.

Yup a lot of women be on that "I'm not forcing dude to take care of his child" tip

Reason being the dudes end up feeling some type of way about their kids, "you know I give your mom $200 every week?! why you wearing this?!"

 

[HankHill]

The hell? Again, I get what you're saying but the guy is STILL at the mercy of the woman. That's a fact. Be as nice as you want but what happens when you've moved on, talking to other females, and baby mom catches feelings?

These perfect world situations aren't set in stone.

Then hopefully she's moved on as well....these "perfect" situations dont exist, because commitment went out the window lonngggg ago....men have a huge lack of accountability....I'm sure for every stand up dude you have 10 deadbeats lined up behind him....of course courts will favor the mother...lol

Build your foundation first and foremost and in the peril of a divorce that foundation will be there to help you guys come to an agreement that would benefit the child....if your woman uses the seed as ammunition, you are a terrible judge of character, that malice was always there and you failed to see it.

That's a reach because it depends on the situation. Your wife can be non-confrontational and like to work out situations. If you cheat on your wife with her sister, you can't say she "flips the script" if she doesn't want to deal with you or her and will keep the child from you. That's not behavior that you "failed to see" because that level of experience in a relationship is rare. Now if your wife is the type who slashes your tires because you hung out with a female at work, then you're a fool for not seeing it coming.

 

[BALH ENH]

My brother been in that ****.

His BM had 2 sets of twins and some random baby. 3 fathers, all of em on CP. She ****** around and one of them died randomly

Gave him sole custody but still has to send her money. System is *** backwards.

It's either ima be around or cp. I'm not buying a single ******* thing if I have to pay CP. This is what you wanted so this how you fin get it.

 

[dathbgboy]

Long story short, it's cheaper to keep her

 

[mister friendly]

The majority of people( men and women) only think about themselves.

The woman just sees the "free" money and rationalizes it by saying you left me with the kid, even though she fought for the kid.
After yall aren't together, the man becomes just another person not a partner in raising the child. To a lot females, children are a package deal with them.

To guys saying watch who you get pregnant and fooling yourselves.

If you like women and want to have kids, you have a 50/50 chance eventually dealing with the family law system.

The way the family law system is set up, If the woman wants to screw you, she can.

But "You shouldve seen the signs"

Like people and relationships don't change over time.

 

[ksteezy]

That's a reach because it depends on the situation. Your wife can be non-confrontational and like to work out situations. If you cheat on your wife with her sister, you can't say she "flips the script" if she doesn't want to deal with you or her and will keep the child from you. That's not behavior that you "failed to see" because that level of experience in a relationship is rare. Now if your wife is the type who slashes your tires because you hung out with a female at work, then you're a fool for not seeing it coming.

I think I covered that before, if I cheat on my wife with her sister, I'm not a very good person and I wouldn't blame her for flipping the script.....once again ACCOUNTABILITY.....if you do right by your woman and things simply don't work out in the end I'm sure she's not gonna treat you as if you smashed her baby sister...lol

 

[dathbgboy]

That's a reach because it depends on the situation. Your wife can be non-confrontational and like to work out situations. If you cheat on your wife with her sister, you can't say she "flips the script" if she doesn't want to deal with you or her and will keep the child from you. That's not behavior that you "failed to see" because that level of experience in a relationship is rare. Now if your wife is the type who slashes your tires because you hung out with a female at work, then you're a fool for not seeing it coming.

I think I covered that before, if I cheat on my wife with her sister, I'm not a very good person and I wouldn't blame her for flipping the script.....once again ACCOUNTABILITY.....if you do right by your woman and things simply don't work out in the end I'm sure she's not gonna treat you as if you smashed her baby sister...lol

I like your optimism but it's also scary, you never know bro. It boils down to ego and self-esteem. People always in somebody's ear. Unfufu was happy and good until the American neighbor got into her ear, next thing you know, she wants HALF!

 

[wayniac211]

Raise your daughters right then she'll know her self worth is more then a paycheck.

 

[nycknicks105]

The hell? Again, I get what you're saying but the guy is STILL at the mercy of the woman. That's a fact. Be as nice as you want but what happens when you've moved on, talking to other females, and baby mom catches feelings?

These perfect world situations aren't set in stone.

You can be a good to the girl as you want and still have things not go your way.

It's pretty much over when she finds out you're seeing other women, let alone having sex with someone else. Women feel insecure and their natural instinct of losing their provider is gone as well.

That's become a MAJOR dilemma in society today. This is practically one of the many reason why baby daddy's will always have first priority to the BM cooch.

 

[datznasty]

If you're in the military STAY single. Military wives are the WORST. I've seen SO MANY cases of them living double lives based on deployment schedule

Beyond. Dudes too though. I guess we have an over 50% divorce rate in the country in general though but I have worked with an NCOIC who was literally smashing almost every single female in the building. I'm talking like 12 of 14 type numbers. He used to smash while I was in the office (big wide open office with 2 smaller offices in it that used to be storage rooms, hed take them in one of those)

ANd Steezy, trust it's ****** up. She can literally agree not to get you with CP, or maybe just you're doing your thing and paying the kid's bills, sending money here and there, seeing them, all without having gotten an agreement notarized through family courts, then one day for whatever reason wake up upset and put you on CSUP and get you for back CSUP even though you were handling your own because it wasn't official and there is no paper trail. Trust, I have seen it with my own eyes.

Its something I worry about now with my girlfriend, especially after seeing that formula. She does not work so that **** would MURDER me. And even having a formula, it leaves a great deal up to the discretion of the (often female) judges, many of whom have low opinions of men in general because they may have just seen 5 deadbeats in a row before you. It's beyond flawed. Like the many NTers personal anecdotes, I have seen dudes get royally screwed.

Hell, there's a dude in Detroit paying $30k for a child who isn't even his, all because the mom put his name on the birth certificate so she'd be able to get on Government assistance. He was incarcerated at the time and never recieved notice of being named the father so now they're telling him he didn't file dispute of paternity within the 3yr window.

A lot of guys put themselves in bad position and also sit ther and moan they're getting cheated but don't petition the court for example when their income changes to have the #'s readjusted.

My girl has lowkey mentioned before putting me on child support, because her sister does it to her baby daddy as it allows their kids free daycare and health care and other Gov assistance options, and says she just turns back around and gives it right back to him. But **** that, I do everything already and pay for everything, and that formula would make my amount damn near $1000 a month. I am also unsure how that would affect my security clearance status as I am a Government contractor.

 

[Comparison Ford]

*gets vasectomy*

 

[nycknicks105]

*gets vasectomy*

Make sure you freeze your seed sauce beforehand though

 

[Comparison Ford]

 

*gets vasectomy*

Make sure you freeze your seed sauce beforehand though

After reading through this thread?

 

[send one]

This system has been flawed since forever. We've all heard horror stories for as long as we can remember.

Anybody putting cash into their "baby mommas" hands in 2015 deserves to get got!

at cats trying to turn this into a race thing. Doing all types of reaching to justify empregnating a bird!

 

[John Wick]

Didn't you post about this a while back, think I remember some of this story. But why won't you try and get custody, if she got pregnant while you were deployed AND lost a child AND doesn't have adequate, stable income, I'm sure you could get custody.

yea i post my story every time this subject comes up surprised someone remembered.

I'm in the process of doing that just got to make sure i have all stuff squared away before i make that step. Im in the process of buying a house so once that is done i think it will be time to try.

 

[ill steelo]

Yall would be suprised at how many females DONT put the father on child support.

A lot just take the L.

My moms friend is like this. She won't even divorce the dude & she ain't heard from him in over a decade

Yall would be suprised at how many females DONT put the father on child support.

A lot just take the L.

This is very true.

I had a date the other night with a femenist and she was giving crap because I didn't believe in alimony and was telling her how women abuse the system sometimes. ***** was throwing the whole, "well you've built a home and earned the money together. Both parties have an equal share to the estate."

I gave the old, "you wasn't with me shooting in the gym!" quote

you smash?

 

[fastcash]

Baby moms to baby