Confessions

damn, my best friend forgave me. 5 years later, chemistry never died down one bit. conversations for days. As blessed I am that he let me back into his life, I can't help but feel like a terrible person after he explained to me why he became distant. All in all, so thankful that I get a second chance. These kind of people only come of often in a lifetime.

I recently talked to my former bestfriend too. Haven't talked to her in 2-3 years. Her father passed away last week so I sent my condolences and visited the fam. I've been a jerk to her but she holds no grudges. Better person than me.
 
Prolly late on this but u mind sharing what you did?

This was when we was younger, dude got bullied at school but I was oblivious the whole time and couldn't see that it tormented him. He never cried or looked hurt and just took it so I honestly thought he was fine. I of course joined in sometimes and joked around. Having his best friend say those things killed him, he felt like everyone was against him. He tried once to tell me about his problems indirectly but I brushed it off. Honestly, had 0 clue he was losing his mind and I got upset when I tried to figure out what went wrong but it was too late. He was only able to retain his sanity by ignoring everyone and didn't say word to me ever since. Dude forgives me but I can't help but think why I was such a ****** person back then who had no regard for his feelings. You don't know what you have until it's gone. I'm trying to get better at being a human being so day by day im tryna defeat my old demons as well as pay it forward.
 
Kinda saw this coming, had to cut off my last two friends
Flaked, they never hit up

Waking up angry or in my dreams I get angry towards my older brother


When I get on my feet I don't want any kids wife or girlfriend so I can move around freely an keep the money I make
 
I feel y'all on the kids thing. My brother is 4, this boy is a lot of work for no real reason sometimes.

Guess I'll post something too.

I sometimes distance myself from girls that like me b/c I'm afraid they won't like the "true me" then leave me alone. :\
 
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joepac12 joepac12 I guess being more talkative about **** I car about, I could probably talk someones ears off if they ask the right thing. I'm usually just a quiet dude who makes a sarcastic remark every now and then for jokes.
 

You say this now but that'll be one lonely *** life. You don't want to die alone. It's the worst.


Anyway, I'm always so fcked up to my fiance for no reason. I just get angry all the time for no reason. It's so irritating not being able to control my anger. When we fight about sht I brush it off but it all builds up and bites me in the asz,
 
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This is probably something weird too.

I can't sleep through the night so I get up and walk around the house. I always go in my sisters room while she's sleep and hang out until she moves so I know she's ok.

Lol
 
When I was 20 after a night of partying and drinking and smoking at a club, I went to visit my boy who was working graveyard shift as a bed control specialist for a hospital. While there I all of a sudden had a real hard time breathing, it was extremely painful.

My friend ended up getting me into a hospital bed real quick, and doctors started with MRIs and catscans. After laying in bed for 3-4 hours a doctor stepped Into my room looked at me and said:

" I don't know how to tell you this, but you have blood clots in both your lungs"

And then just dipped out. I ended up staying at the hospital for a week they ran tests and all types of things and then put me on blood thinners indefinitely.

Fast forward 2 months later I hated getting shots in my stomach, I stopped taking the medicine completely and actually picked up smoking again.

7 years later I no longer smoke but everyday the thought crosses my mind how close death was. And it's wack I love my life and thank god for all things, but I wish it would have happened.

I have been in a relationship with a chick for 5 years, last year I decided to finally do it and copped the diamond solitaire , told my parents they were not happy at all. I said f it I will go through with it, I met her pops proposed and put that ring on her. Literally the next day I was flying out of town to start a business in another city. Once I got there , whenever I called home to speak to my moms she would hang up the phone in my face. It used to hurt so bad and I couldn't understand how she could do that to me just because I loved a girl. I told my girl and ultimately she said it will never work if my parents will not be involved in our lives. So we ended it. I just started talking to her again 2 weeks ago after a year, I love the shorty and decided I would try again with my parents. I'm flying home in 2 weeks and I'm terrified of the outcome of the conversation. I shouldn't have started anything with the chick until I was sure of my parents situation... We talk nightly and send pics etc, feelings came back mad quick.
 
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When I was 20 after a night of partying and drinking and smoking at a club, I went to visit my boy who was working graveyard shift as a bed control specialist for a hospital. While there I all of a sudden had a real hard time breathing, it was extremely painful.

My friend ended up getting me into a hospital bed real quick, and doctors started with MRIs and catscans. After laying in bed for 3-4 hours a doctor stepped Into my room looked at me and said:

" I don't know how to tell you this, but you have blood clots in both your lungs"

And then just dipped out. I ended up staying at the hospital for a week they ran tests and all types of things and then put me on blood thinners indefinitely.

Fast forward 2 months later I hated getting shots in my stomach, I stopped taking the medicine completely and actually picked up smoking again.

7 years later I no longer smoke but everyday the thought crosses my mind how close death was. And it's wack I love my life and thank god for all things, but I wish it would have happened.

I have been in a relationship with a chick for 5 years, last year I decided to finally do it and copped the diamond solitaire , told my parents they were not happy at all. I said f it I will go through with it, I met her pops proposed and put that ring on her. Literally the next day I was flying out of town to start a business in another city. Once I got there , whenever I called home to speak to my moms she would hang up the phone in my face. It used to hurt so bad and I couldn't understand how she could do that to me just because I loved a girl. I told my girl and ultimately she said it will never work if my parents will not be involved in our lives. So we ended it. I just started talking to her again 2 weeks ago after a year, I love the shorty and decided I would try again with my parents. I'm flying home in 2 weeks and I'm terrified of the outcome of the conversation. I shouldn't have started anything with the chick until I was sure of my parents situation... We talk nightly and send pics etc, feelings came back mad quick.

First off be grateful for the second chance at life you got, chances are had you not been at the hospital when you started having trouble breathing you'd be dead, a pulmonary embolism can kill you in a matter of minutes, it's legit scary because it can happen to anyone at ANY time.

Now as far as the girl goes, reality is if you love this girl, you don't need ANY parents approval, if she can't be with you without the approval of parents then she may not be in it just for you, in marriage each of you should be enough for each other, if you can't be with your partner because you can't conceive a child for example then you are not enough for each other and shouldn't be together, same goes for each other's parentals, with that said...see where she's at, and let your parents know they need to be a little more mature, when is all said and done, your parents will age and won't be there for you, eventually they will die and all you'll have is your wife to lean back on, hell same goes for your kids, you raise them and they too will move on while you age and the only person most likely by your side will be your spouse, this is the circle of life and unfortunately people have lost faith in a strong relationship and think is all gravy to be alone, you live alone, you'll die with not a single person holding your hand and that my friends is much scarier than death itself.
 
TBH I wouldn't marry a chick whose parents totally disregard her for being with me. That's a stressful life to live, knowing I'm the reason her parents won't talk to her. Then again I'm a family man and I couldn't picture my kid not being able to stay at both grandparent's houses for the summer.
 
Eventually your family will HAVE to accept who you marry, if not, do you really want that sort of hateful, immature influence upon your kids?
 
First off be grateful for the second chance at life you got, chances are had you not been at the hospital when you started having trouble breathing you'd be dead, a pulmonary embolism can kill you in a matter of minutes, it's legit scary because it can happen to anyone at ANY time.

Now as far as the girl goes, reality is if you love this girl, you don't need ANY parents approval, if she can't be with you without the approval of parents then she may not be in it just for you, in marriage each of you should be enough for each other, if you can't be with your partner because you can't conceive a child for example then you are not enough for each other and shouldn't be together, same goes for each other's parentals, with that said...see where she's at, and let your parents know they need to be a little more mature, when is all said and done, your parents will age and won't be there for you, eventually they will die and all you'll have is your wife to lean back on, hell same goes for your kids, you raise them and they too will move on while you age and the only person most likely by your side will be your spouse, this is the circle of life and unfortunately people have lost faith in a strong relationship and think is all gravy to be alone, you live alone, you'll die with not a single person holding your hand and that my friends is much scarier than death itself.

I like this reply. :nthat:

Repped.

Life's too short to live for the approval of others. I love my family and I love my children but none of them are going to tell me who I should be with or what I should be doing with my life. I'm fortunate enough that my people and kids are with my choices, but my girl has had to deal with a lot from some members of her fam that don't like that she's with her cousin's ex. Her pops is cool with it and I talk with him one on one all of the time. Her mother can't stand me though and it has casued A LOT of drama and stress on my girl. That crazy bird even tried to have me killed and I'm not exaggerating. I still wouldn't back down though because I love my girl and it's a real deal relationship between us... grown up and on no level is it fake. I guess I'm in a position where I should be able to relate to your girl onthenephs onthenephs , but I don't.

Fear doesn't run my life because just like you know homie, you can die at any time. You can be crippled, burned or scarred for life at any time. Nothing is guaranteed. Now if something happened to you, I always think who would wipe my *** if I couldn't. Who would sponge bathe me if I couldn't. Who would be at my funeral crying the most if I died. I know my girl would be there for all of that and more. She loves me unconditionally, whether I'm fat, funky or ****** up. So for that, I have to give her that love back.

I think your girl is a coward fam. If she can't be your ride or die then you need to move on. You shouldn't have to convince another person to be strong enough to deal with life for you. That should be automatic.

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Forgot to mention my girl told her mom to permanently kick rocks and chose me over her. She gave her many chances but she took things to a dangerous extreme and my girl wasn't going to let her ruin our relationship.
 
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Dudes don't get it man, first you learn to love yourself, then you open yourself up to be able to find love in a mate, we were not designed to lead a life of solitude, you should be actively searching for that mate that completes you...dudes stay caught up on the multiple yambs, the money, the bachelor life, no commitments, all that **** eventually fades bros, eventually you grow old and wrinkled, eventually you won't even be able to hold your crap in or your D hard, then you look around you and find yourself alone...that **** gotta be terrifying....maybe because I've seen it way too many times in my career that I'm so aware to that reality,
 
Been trying my bet to keep my spirits up
Learned that summer is not the best time of year for me so
I'm just rolling with the punches and trying to be happy with every chance I get and not take everything too serious

For now I believe this solitude thing is what I need till I get myself together, that feeling I get when I'm around other people makes me miserable :smh:
 
Yo ksteezy, respect for the wisdom man. I know you are already a family man, and for sure have dealt mad battles and persevered with the wife, that's deep no doubt man I appreciate it. Same for brolic what you described is a hard situation to be in, and as cliche as it is, it's good To see love and connection overcome those problems.

I must say it wasn't fully her decision, I mean I love my mother and my family and the thought of them not being involved in raising my children, as someone said not able to visit their grandparents was and still is a serious issue for me personally. And had I been more aggressive I would have taken that step to end the relationship first, she knows me well though and fast forwarded the process because I wouldn't be able to do it. She loves me and ultimately would stay if I told her f my parents. She does have some values for family too though.

My mom walked in on us in my fams apartment back when I was like 22. My mothers religion and Arab mentality took that to the extreme, and to her was a sign of a bad girl. Like how is she at my house all alone, I know we were old but keep in mind my mothers generation and her different ethnic values. Since then it's been a battle to convince her. That sounds mad small I know, but it had serious repercussions.

Plus I would go sleep at her crib enough nights and not come home.

We been together longer than 5 years tbh, she was my first chick and I her when we were both 17. Half way we broke up, we both moved on but my mom got word she was dealing with another dude and that also added to the issues once we decided to get back together.

We been through it all though and she is ride or die til the end, it really is me that controls the current situation. And I let it go.

The year I stayed away from home and her, I chilled with enough shorties and did a lot and none if them came close. I matured up in the time away and decided to do it again, that's y I'm flying back home , and that's why she still waiting for me.

Ksteezy said it man, when it's all said and done, that's who will play crossword with u at 80.
 
I'm huge on family, thankfully my inlaws always treated me as one of their own, my mominlaw is practically my second mom and her and my mother are like besties now which is an added bonus...but truth be told if they didn't get along with my wife or I with them, it would be on them, as long as I'm sure of what I got and she's sure of her love for me, they will eventually come to terms with it....specially when grandchildren come into place, no grandparent wants to NOT have a relationship with their grandchild....seems like a lot of middle eastern parents are way toooo involved in a negative way, they want to control who their kids fall in love with, how they raise their children, what type of clothes they were, who they decide to invite to their wedding, more power to ya, that **** would be the end of my parents and I, I can't have someone try to control my adult life the way they do.
 
Dudes don't get it man, first you learn to love yourself, then you open yourself up to be able to find love in a mate, we were not designed to lead a life of solitude, you should be actively searching for that mate that completes you...dudes stay caught up on the multiple yambs, the money, the bachelor life, no commitments, all that **** eventually fades bros, eventually you grow old and wrinkled, eventually you won't even be able to hold your crap in or your D hard, then you look around you and find yourself alone...that **** gotta be terrifying....maybe because I've seen it way too many times in my career that I'm so aware to that reality,

Agree with this 100%. Respect.
 
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