Crazy stories from your job.

[Sonny Corinthos]

Same night, jerry "the king" lawler needs help. I go to tje sevtion, and this dude had on js and those wrestling pants with his crown on and a leather coat...i asked if he just left a match, he was like nah....lol.

 

[shloob]

I feel like I should take this time to note that he plays The Sims and has made characters that look like everyone we work with, and that he's sent me a text message late at night with a close-up photo of his face and the caption "I'm always watching u."

this just kinda creeped me out. Dudes a cereal killer.

 

[mojodmonky1]

man i only got 1 story that ive told a couple times here before. involved a business trip to new orleans, a strip club, my buddy, and $13K on the company card.

 

[3dgarfly23]

P4L

 

[meek meals]

So we get a lot of homeless people in my store...
I'm always cool with them and try to help em out so if they have the money for a booth ill let em have it so they can get off the street for a while....
So one of the regulars comes through for a preview ( you can pick any DVD we have and you get 2 hours of it)... He's extra stinky this day though so I set him up with a booth that is away from the rest of the folks so they don't complain.
So he's in here for like 4 hours and he starts making all these weird noises and what sounds like him banging his head against the wall. So I tell him it's time to go. He's like yeah alright.... 10 minutes pass and he still doesn't come out so I go back there and he's walking around naked and he's all shiny... So I tell him that's it man gotta call the cops now man.. So he runs to his booth and puts on his pants and runs outta my store... So turns out he lathered himself up in baby oil ... When he ran outta my store he left baby oil footprints all the way out.

Typing from my iPhone so excuse the typos and what not.

Sounds like you'd catch something just from being in the damn store.

Sidenote: How can a physical porn store be successful in an era where you can get streaming porn for free with no effort?

 

[meek meals]

I work with special needs kids and work at their houses. So I'm at a clients house playing games in the backyard, we get tired and head inside. As we pass the moms room the kid swings open the door and mom is toppin some dude off. I immediately grab the kid and head into his room. Mom comes up and talks to me so awkwardly at the end of my session and asks if I can just keep it between us.

Same case months later, she asks to have session at her "friends" house (different guy). I go to use the bathroom and as I'm washing my hands I just happen to look into the shower. Tell me why there are like 3-4 used condoms just chillin in the tub!? Like they were airing them out to re-use them.

Lmfao condoms part is scust

But she probably never gets a chance to let someone penetrate dem wawls, not knowing when your kid can just bust in, and always sort of having to keep an eye on them

 

[b20 eg8]

:x​

Sounds like you'd catch something just from being in the damn store.​

Sidenote: How can a physical porn store be successful in an era where you can get streaming porn for free with no effort?​

As long as you stay away from all the walls in the back you're good.

 

[born illa]

About a year ago, I was at a friend's place playing poker and drinking Henny.

I was involved with this chick who wanted me to come over later that night. We had been texting all night and I was on my way over to her place.

My manager calls me about something, and I hung up and thought nothing of it.

Me and the girl I was about to smash were sending dirty texts to each other and I text to her "I got some ultra thin condoms"

I get a text a couple seconds later saying "OMG what????".... Turns out I had texted my manager that i had some condoms.

I called her back and apologized profusely... she still gives me **** about it to this day

 

[Coupé It]

I'm in the mob, but I can't tell you my stories. My bad.

 

[mugen81]

This thread has great potential
Edit: Sierra mist.... For real homie...smh

 

[kiiing]

This thread is

I don't have any crazy stories to share. Just a lot of fights happening.

Working at one of my dads stores..

One time some dude got angry because he dropped his money somewhere and wanted something for free. He threatened me that he's going to jump behind the counter. I told him to do it and he did it .. my co-worker smacked him with a bat before I could smack him with the machete.

Another time a "flash mob" came into the store and dudes picked up all sorts things. There were three of us so, we locked the registers and all grabbed a baseball bat. We stood by the door and checked every single one of them before they left and took at least $400 worth off of them. At first they tried to bum rush but, my co-worker (different one) started take swings at knee caps to let them know we won't hesitate. As soon as they get out they start screaming and cursing asking for us to step out and fight them, two of them had tasers and other were claiming to have guns. I guess someone seen what was happening and called the cops and they soon showed up about 7 cars and they all scattered. They caught a couple though.

Working at other places I had to be more tolerant of people. One time some dude walked out with a whole stack of shirts by the door. I didn't do anything but, told the manager. I couldn't have cared less ..

 

[meek meals]

I feel like I should take this time to note that he plays The Sims and has made characters that look like everyone we work with, and that he's sent me a text message late at night with a close-up photo of his face and the caption "I'm always watching u."

YO

NO GIF OR AMOUNT OF REPS CAN ACCURATELY DESCRIBE HOW WEAK I AM

THIS GOT ME ******G CRYING FOR SOME REASON YO LMFAO

 

[georgehimself]

YOLO

YOLORENZO

 

[atlien seeko]

YOLORENZO

YOLORENZO (TM)

 

[lexlieno]

YOLORENZO

repped.

 

[Comparison Ford]

YOLORENZO

+1

 

[RustyShackleford]

I looked up Sierra Mist on Urban Dictionary :x

"Now isn't that refreshing"

 

[meek meals]

I looked up Sierra Mist on Urban Dictionary

"Now wasn't that refreshing"

Did ya see the page 2 definition

Spoiler: Warning%3A%20Spoiler!

Dude lets off in the cheeks and then she farts it back out . . .

Which one was dude referring to?

 

[jordanscrub]

-Footlocker in my early college years-

So we use to have this table that was full of kids shoes that were at a significant discount, and it went pretty quick. At the bottom of the pile was a pair of retros and these two African American women began to argue over who would get them. Please keep in mind that these shoes are for their CHILDREN. The women begin to yell and get physical. Seconds later one of the women is thrown into our clothing racks and they begin to fight, security comes in, tackles them, and pepper sprays the **** out of the broads.

The girls I work with were screaming and scared, but my manager and I were dying

 

[RustyShackleford]

YOLORENZO

. repped

My new motto for my sex life is WWLD, What Would Lorenzo Do.

Next time my girl shots me down for anything, it's on

 

[teamjordan79]

yo if i ever catch ava devine in real life im just smile and wio, idgaf.

 

[jones23me]

this thread has great potential

 

[coolgraymemo]

YOLO

YOLORENZO

.

 

[Sir San Diego]

Once upon a time at a former place of employment there was a secretary who was in her 30's and I was, younger. She wasn't the best looking woman, but she definitely had some sex appeal. She was half black and half something else, maybe Puerto Rican, I don't know for sure. She had a small frame and at least a D cup.

One day as I walked passed her desk she started a conversation with me. It was early in the morning and she was eating pop-tarts at her desk. She said something like "I bet you want some of my pop-tart" and me being on the job for only a week and change replied no, not really thinking anything of it. After I walked away the thought dawned on me that maybe she was talking about sex, but I thought I was tripping or looking too deep into it. I just made a note of the possibility and thought that if she said anything borderline again I would see how far she would take the conversation.

The next day I saw her outside while she was taking a smoke break and it was right before lunch time. She was talking to another woman and stopped her conversation to tell me I had nice hands. Thinking back to the pop-tart moment, I decided to push her to open up. So I replied "my hands aren't the only things that are nice." The other woman dipped and we had a short exchange that went something like this:

Her: "Oh yeah, what else is nice?"
Me: "You wanna find out?"
Her: "Meet me in the parking lot at lunch time..."

I did and we got in her car. I had no idea what she had in mind, but she drove me to an empty lot next to a school and told me to take it out. This woman, only knowing me for a couple of days domed me up for the whole lunch break and let me fondle her shirtless twins in broad day light. She gargled, swallowed and everything at the end. Then she gave me her number and told me to call in sick the next day and to meet her at her house early to have an all day session. I agreed and asked her to drive us back to work, but let me out at the corner.

The next day came and I took my black *** to work. She didn't. I saw her a day later and she had an attitude with me. We talked a couple times after that, but it was awkward and I quit the job about a month later.

 

[mugen81]

Once upon a time at a former place of employment there was a secretary who was in her 30's and I was, younger. She wasn't the best looking woman, but she definitely had some sex appeal. She was half black and half something else, maybe Puerto Rican, I don't know for sure. She had a small frame and at least a D cup.
One day as I walked passed her desk she started a conversation with me. It was early in the morning and she was eating pop-tarts at her desk. She said something like "I bet you want some of my pop-tart" and me being on the job for only a week and change replied no, not really thinking anything of it. After I walked away the thought dawned on me that maybe she was talking about sex, but I thought I was tripping or looking too deep into it. I just made a note of the possibility and thought that if she said anything borderline again I would see how far she would take the conversation.
The next day I saw her outside while she was taking a smoke break and it was right before lunch time. She was talking to another woman and stopped her conversation to tell me I had nice hands. Thinking back to the pop-tart moment, I decided to push her to open up. So I replied "my hands aren't the only things that are nice." The other woman dipped and we had a short exchange that went something like this:
Her: "Oh yeah, what else is nice?"
Me: "You wanna find out?"
Her: "Meet me in the parking lot at lunch time..."
I did and we got in her car. I had no idea what she had in mind, but she drove me to an empty lot next to a school and told me to take it out. This woman, only knowing me for a couple of days domed me up for the whole lunch break and let me fondle her shirtless twins in broad day light. She gargled, swallowed and everything at the end. Then she gave me her number and told me to call in sick the next day and to meet her at her house early to have an all day session. I agreed and asked her to drive us back to work, but let me out at the corner.
The next day came and I took my black *** to work. She didn't. I saw her a day later and she had an attitude with me. We talked a couple times after that, but it was awkward and I quit the job about a month later.

Damn son u really did live money over b*tches...lol... I would've taken that offer from her... Better man then me