- 6,252
- 2,741
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2003
i call it the "permission slip" 
rarely ever go out, but when i get that thang signed...
rarely ever go out, but when i get that thang signed...
b33r money
Banned
- 416
- 148
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2015
bachelors party is my go to as a married man.. our rule is " i can go to any bachelor party of my friends as long as we are invited to the wedding " and same rules apply for her but being a man you let her break that rule. Dont ask just let her haha..i call it the "permission slip"
rarely ever go out, but when i get that thang signed...
Bachelor parties is usually a 3 day weekend thing and boy 0 boy my friends know me as the party starter no need to describe why haha
- 3,027
- 1,693
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2000
ill add to destination weddings since ksteezy and fongstarr chimed in.
i think its cool if you actually WANT a smaller more intimate wedding. like they said or more so mrfongstarr said, its tough on the guests, and that is why SOME couples might want to do a destination wedding to keep it small and not have a lot of guests. the marrying couple usually already knows those who really matter will go no matter what.
there are obviously couples who really want a big wedding and want most/all their friends and family to be there.. if thats you, then destination weddings are not for you, but some couples are hard headed and still think/assume all their friends and family will still be there, and might be dissapointed when they see a lot of folks not rsvp to go.
it is tough on the guest as fongstarr said. prob more so if you are of asian descent as he mentioned haha. having to take time off from work, the plane tickets, the hotel accomodations, other misc spending while your there (obviously you know you wont just be staying in the hotel, if your there you gotta take in whatever the place hasa to offer), food, the wedding gift, etc. So yea it will be no surprise that many of your guest will spend hundreds, if not over a thousand. I got invited to a destination wedding in maui, and i was excited because it gave me a reason to go to hawaii. most people might not think like this, and thats why you easily cut your guest list in half going back to trying to keep the wedding small. but yea just the hotel stay was almost $1000 for 6-7 nights, then the RENT A CAR, gas, food, time taking off work, although i was able to put in a few hours working remote, activities, food, wedding gift. But again, I didn't take it as a burden, i took it as killing 2 birds with one stone since it was a nice vacation too. But again, half of the folks you invite might not think that way.
I have seen destination weddings still be pretty big, and if you want to do something like that you really need to give ample time in planning since you wont physically be there, and coordinate someone who is there and can communicate with you regularly. and send out those save the dates and invitations extra early.
i think its cool if you actually WANT a smaller more intimate wedding. like they said or more so mrfongstarr said, its tough on the guests, and that is why SOME couples might want to do a destination wedding to keep it small and not have a lot of guests. the marrying couple usually already knows those who really matter will go no matter what.
there are obviously couples who really want a big wedding and want most/all their friends and family to be there.. if thats you, then destination weddings are not for you, but some couples are hard headed and still think/assume all their friends and family will still be there, and might be dissapointed when they see a lot of folks not rsvp to go.
it is tough on the guest as fongstarr said. prob more so if you are of asian descent as he mentioned haha. having to take time off from work, the plane tickets, the hotel accomodations, other misc spending while your there (obviously you know you wont just be staying in the hotel, if your there you gotta take in whatever the place hasa to offer), food, the wedding gift, etc. So yea it will be no surprise that many of your guest will spend hundreds, if not over a thousand. I got invited to a destination wedding in maui, and i was excited because it gave me a reason to go to hawaii. most people might not think like this, and thats why you easily cut your guest list in half going back to trying to keep the wedding small. but yea just the hotel stay was almost $1000 for 6-7 nights, then the RENT A CAR, gas, food, time taking off work, although i was able to put in a few hours working remote, activities, food, wedding gift. But again, I didn't take it as a burden, i took it as killing 2 birds with one stone since it was a nice vacation too. But again, half of the folks you invite might not think that way.
I have seen destination weddings still be pretty big, and if you want to do something like that you really need to give ample time in planning since you wont physically be there, and coordinate someone who is there and can communicate with you regularly. and send out those save the dates and invitations extra early.
Last edited:
- 4,298
- 367
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2007
True indeed ...if everyone looks at it as a vacation for themselves then the situation becomes a lot easier ...the place has something to offer everybody so hopefully the wedding is just an extra reason to go . Want to cause the least stress possible ..
- 67,825
- 102,839
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2010
This why I wouldn't suggest getting married before understanding who you are, what you want and how folks should respect you. This ***** said "she let me". How could that ever leave the mouth of a self assured adult? Don't label all marriage due to your own limitations.
Last edited:
- 14,389
- 16,687
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2012
Anybody here ever emcee a wedding?
- 16,543
- 7,757
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2013
@Mark Antony coming with the truth.
To OP -- You're a grown, sexy dude, not a child that needs to be monitored. Is she your wife or your mom?
Word to Patrice O'Neal -- "A woman will continue to test your boundaries if you allow her to."
Last edited:
- 3,027
- 1,693
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2000
all i know is dont go cheap and have one of your homies do it when he aint ready. it could kill the entire reception. esp if you already paying a good amount for the venue, food, decor, etc, contnue the trend and hire a professional
were you asked to emcee a wedding for a friend? it's a big responsibility imo.
b33r money
Banned
- 416
- 148
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2015
are you married yourself? If you ask her or tell her you going out with friends and she says no then what chu gon do ? It aint always going to be yes...
b33r money
Banned
- 416
- 148
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2015
im just saying your mom will let you get away with stuff your wife nope.. every action you make has different outcomes whether it be good or bad.. like i said i love my wife if i didnt we wouldnt be together right now.. im just saying its not as sweet as what you see on tv and social media..
- 43,073
- 27,915
- Joined
- Dec 25, 2003
We're going to have an issue if she doesn't have a better reason than just 'no.'
I don't play that 'permission' nonsense, and she knows that. That's all that really matters. I give her the respect of telling her what I'm going to do. I'm not asking for clearance to chill with my boys.
That's a discussion (or argument) we've had a ton of times. I've always been under the belief that if you give a person an inch, they'll take a mile. Doesn't matter if you're in a relationship or not, if you allow something to go on that sets a tone. Now she has expectations about things based on the few times you just let her feel like she gave you permission to go out.
If you're fine with that kind of dynamic more power to you...but I refuse to have to ask someone for actual permission to go out. That's not to say I'm not reasonable and if she has a valid reason for me not to go out I won't listen. But I'm not just staying in because you don't want me to go out. Slippery slope.
- 4,810
- 1,793
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2005
If you truly feel like you have to get permission to go out with friends, then yeah there's something wrong. I'm married for a while now and neither myself nor my wife have to ask eachother to go out. With that said, we both know what lines not to cross. If it's some girl I know that wants to chill one-on-one I'm not gonna just casually be like "You know Sheila from my job? Yeah she wasn't doing anything tomorrow night so we're gonna go try this new Thai place and then go out for drinks after. It's ok her apartment is right near that downtown area so I won't have to drive home, she told me she lives alone so I guess that means I won't disturb anyone if I crash on her couch..."
I think there's some communication issues there if you always feel like you're biting the bullet when it comes to your time and your freedom.
I think there's some communication issues there if you always feel like you're biting the bullet when it comes to your time and your freedom.
- 7,134
- 1,150
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2003
THIS.
Makes me cringe watching dudes actually asking for permission instead of just letting their chicks know their plans.
- 2,589
- 2,588
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2012
I have emceed twice. I love it.
Light hearted jokes that focus on the couple, that everyone gets (no inside jokes for you and your homies).
You're just there to transition everything smoothly.
- 67,825
- 102,839
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2010
Crazy you don't even understand the absurdity of that statement.
- 39,320
- 19,718
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2009
:x damn fams I can't consign this, this ain't what marriage is about
Honestly as a married man and this may just be me, but at this age (33) and married with responsabilities, I don't need to be out with my boys so often that it'll be a problem at all, therefore when I do decide to go out, I tell her, I don't ask her
and she just says "have a good time babe, don't wake me up and drive drunk" Now if you are married and need to be up your boys **** so much that your wife has an issue with it, then I think you need to be married to your boys
you need to find a balance my man..
- 1,948
- 834
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2005
Not even trying to make a joke, but it sounds like you and your wife need to go to a marraige counselor. You owe it to yourself and her to put in a good faith effort, especially if you have kids. If that doesn't work, then it's time to make moves.
Although I agree with statement number 3.
- 13,469
- 3,200
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2010
Heard too many horror stories about engagements and marriages, but I'm still down to tie the knot one day.
Got a couple ideas of how I'd pop the question.
Got a couple ideas of how I'd pop the question.
- 17,311
- 3,558
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2005
Congrats OP!
Funny this thread popped up. I plan to propose in April. We've been together almost 3 years (March will be our 3rd year).
Funny this thread popped up. I plan to propose in April. We've been together almost 3 years (March will be our 3rd year).
- 3,309
- 4,480
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2015
- 13,033
- 7,205
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2007
I am super lenient with my fiancee and she is with me. But I must say that this is not always the right thing to do. Communication is huge with relationships and marriage as well as trust. Sometimes when couples don't let their spouse hang out, I almost feel like they just don't trust them which is probably huge insecurity of theirs. Gain the trust and then these permission slips should almost be obsolete.
- 13,469
- 3,200
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2010
Now say you're engaged for a couple months to a year, and the trust is damaged. Will you stick it out and work on it or end it right there? Is it even worth trying to fix knowing that if you do the next step is marriage? I feel people who are engaged, especially women, will stay and want to work it out because they want to get married. So they will deal with the bs just because they want to be married by a certain age.
If it were me I'd dip as soon as either of use f'ed up during the engagement. If you can mess up during the engagement, I don't want to imagine what you'd do to me after 5-10 years of marriage lol.
Sorry, I know this thread is filled with positives. Just thought I'd ask the people who are married/engaged.
If it were me I'd dip as soon as either of use f'ed up during the engagement. If you can mess up during the engagement, I don't want to imagine what you'd do to me after 5-10 years of marriage lol.
Sorry, I know this thread is filled with positives. Just thought I'd ask the people who are married/engaged.
Last edited:
- 16,543
- 7,757
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2013
Clarify what you mean by "trust damaged." Like cheating?
- 13,469
- 3,200
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2010
Yeah. Whether it happens during the engagement or you found out she/he did before you guys got engaged. Im just asking how much can a person take in order to get married?
- 13,033
- 7,205
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2007
^^^You have no idea but you brought up a scenario I am going through right now. Without divulging into things, my trust in my fiancee just got killed this month on something she was trying to hide 2 years ago and it's currently trialing our engagement and our marriage. If anyone has seen the Friend's episode with "I was on a break!" with Ross getting with another girl, that is pretty much what happened to me. It's such a tough battle but I am honestly trying to figure this all out if it can work within this year. The worst is technically this wasn't cheating but it sure feels like it. I get where you are coming from because I can only imagine if this happened when we were married on how much harder this would be but I honestly do want to work things out but statistics will show that this is an up hill battle that we might lose.
By the end of it, everyone has to do it their own way. No relationship is perfect for another. If you want to leave that person, then that is fine because that is what you want. If you want to work it out, then hey, that is fine too. My issue is I am not sure if it is worth working out yet. That is something I have to think about and it's going to take some time.
By the end of it, everyone has to do it their own way. No relationship is perfect for another. If you want to leave that person, then that is fine because that is what you want. If you want to work it out, then hey, that is fine too. My issue is I am not sure if it is worth working out yet. That is something I have to think about and it's going to take some time.
