I am still alive

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I made a post for Meth to tell people I can't rep myself just because I was tired of hearing it.  Naw no response.
You also asked me to lie for you and create a post telling people that you weren't TruthGetsBusy.  Your bad reputation is your problem, not mine, and it's your fault, not mine.  

Get help, Truth.
I always knew he was Truth!!!!! 
 
I made a post for Meth to tell people I can't rep myself just because I was tired of hearing it.  Naw no response.

You also asked me to lie for you and create a post telling people that you weren't TruthGetsBusy.  Your bad reputation is your problem, not mine, and it's your fault, not mine.  


Get help, Truth.
I always knew he was Truth!!!!! 

Wondering about the tsmoothreturns SN :nerd:
 
Quit while you're ahead fam. You're not even really ahead :smh: just quit. Go back to providing lulz and stop arguing about nothing. This thread served NO PURPOSE. Coulda just came back and blended in but you keep calling attention to yourself.
 
Today I am alive.  I should be happy. I should be inspired. I should be excited.  I should be motivated.

Today I am alive.  I have family.  I have friends.  I am healthy.  I have food.  I have shelter. 

Today I am alive.  And yet I don't want to be.  I don't care for tomorrow.  I don't care for next week, next month, or next year.  I don't care for yesterday.  The past and future are the same to me.  Neither matters.  I am just here.....today.

-1/22/13

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Last Monday night I wrote that and then proceeded to take prescription pills and drink rum until the job was done.  I was officially done with living.  I wanted out.  I was tired. The thought of tomorrow made me almost physically sick.  I just sat on the floor in complete darkness listening to Mood Muzik and Beanie Sigel while every memory of my life from childhood to the present passed through my head.  All my family, friends, experiences, etc.  I wasn't angry or scared.  I felt at peace and just continued to drink and drink.  And that's all I can remember.

I woke up laying in my own vomit and spilled alcohol everywhere.  I couldn't even move.  I just layed there.  My head and my stomach felt so bad. I can't even explain the feeling it was like I got stabbed in the stomach.  My mouth was so dry it hurt. I couldn't even stand up I could only crawl down the hall and into the bathroom.   I just crawled into the bath tub and turned on the water with my face under the facet.  I tried to drink....every swallow hurt.  I just let the water run over my mouth and face.  The water made me sick and I threw up again right in the tub.  Laying there I pushed the tab to turn on the shower with my foot.  After about 10 mins of laying in the shower I rolled out the tub and hobbled to the sink.  For some reason I just wanted to see myself.

To my surprise when I looked in that steamy mirror I seen somebody else.  I didn't see the unhappy, uninspired, deflated person I came to know.  I seen a fresh face.  I seen a familiar face.  Somebody who used to want to conquer the world and actually believe he could.  At that moment I wiped the mirror to see clearly and look him in the eyes.  And he looked back at me and said "You are still here". And all I could do was smile and then laugh.  While it hurt like hell I was laughing. 

Today I am here.  I am still alive.  I am happy.  I am inspired.  I am excited.  I am motivated

Today I am still alive.  I still have family.  I still have friends.  I am healthy.  I have food.  I have shelter


Today I am still alive.  And I love life.  I love myself.  I can't wait until tomorrow.  I am planning for next week, next month, and next year.  I value yesterday.  The past and future will tell my story and my life matters.  I am still here.

Sometimes you have to reach rock bottom before you can come up.  Remember you were born alone and you will die alone.  You and only you can ensure happiness or peace of mind.  Love yourself. 

That there is a problem. Try listening to the physics and acoustics of a classical guitar, the ambiance of a violin or the strikes of a piano. You will appreciate the essence of life that we exist in much more. That other kind of music is meant to distress you so that you can relate to it.

Bro I'm suicidal too. I've come to grips with the probable fact that I will commit suicide some day. But I'll be damned if it's because of media influence.
 
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Question if you never posted "get well truth" and "exposed" me would this board have less problems, insults, jokes, problems?  If you never choose to "make fun" of athletic accomplishments would the "sheep" not followed?  We both know there's members that will follow your lead.  Once you went there they felt like it was fair game.  If you actual told the truth about me APPLYING for names and those names never posting instead of being VAGUE and saying I had multiple names would there be less problems, insults, jokes?

The answer is yes.  We both know that.  But If you choose not to agree that is fine.
 
Just chill and let all this go Powerballin if you're really out the fog. Going as hard as you are you clearly aren't. Just stop, be a regular nter. **** with us for real for a bit, you'll like it.
 
 You were also here every day posting in triple digits. 
laugh.gif
 
Question if you never posted "get well truth" and "exposed" me would this board have less problems, insults, jokes, problems?  If you never choose to "make fun" of athletic accomplishments would the "sheep" not followed?  We both know there's members that will follow your lead.  Once you went there they felt like it was fair game.  If you actual told the truth about me APPLYING for names and those names never posting instead of being VAGUE and saying I had multiple names would there be less problems, insults, jokes?

The answer is yes.  We both know that.  But If you choose not to agree that is fine.

You won a slam dunk contest for $500, did I miss the athletic accomplishments?
 
OP I don't by any means want you to kill yourself. But I do want you off this site for good. :smh:
 
Question if you never posted "get well truth" and "exposed" me would this board have less problems, insults, jokes, problems?  If you never choose to "make fun" of athletic accomplishments would the "sheep" not followed?  We both know there's members that will follow your lead.  Once you went there they felt like it was fair game.  If you actual told the truth about me APPLYING for names and those names never posting instead of being VAGUE and saying I had multiple names would there be less problems, insults, jokes?

The answer is yes.  We both know that.  But If you choose not to agree that is fine.

You came in 2nd place in a slam dunk contest for $500, did I miss the athletic accomplishments?
 
Like look at this thread compared to other I almost committed suicide threads, there's love and support in there, over here it's just clowning. On some real ****, you gotta chill b. Just learn to let go.
 
Meth, lock this up. I'm not about to go through these pages and read this BS. But I don't see how in anyway this is productive to NT or the OP.
 
Question if you never posted "get well truth" and "exposed" me would this board have less problems, insults, jokes, problems?  If you never choose to "make fun" of athletic accomplishments would the "sheep" not followed?  We both know there's members that will follow your lead.  Once you went there they felt like it was fair game.  If you actual told the truth about me APPLYING for names and those names never posting instead of being VAGUE and saying I had multiple names would there be less problems, insults, jokes?

The answer is yes.  We both know that.  But If you choose not to agree that is fine.
YOU'RE REALLY TRYING TO BLAME METH?
 
Wondering about the tsmoothreturns SN 
Not him - but that account was banned recently.  (There, I rescued you from the suspicion your own behavior has created.  Happy?)
Question if you never posted "get well truth" and "exposed" me would this board have less problems, insults, jokes, problems?
I'm not obligated to insulate known forum trolls from the consequences of their actions - let alone to serve as their enabler.  Our users deserved to know then and they deserve to know now.  If you want a fresh start, join ISS.
 If you never choose to "make fun" of athletic accomplishments would the "sheep" not followed?  We both know there's members that will follow your lead.
What you're complaining about there absolutely pales in comparison to the types of insults you post to our forums every day.  My posts did not cross the lines by the standard we hold our users to, but I acknowledge that staff members should hold themselves to a higher standard and that you are clearly in a vulnerable condition and that's why I expressed regret at posting anything that could be construed as a jab.
If you actual told the truth about me APPLYING for names and those names never posting instead of being VAGUE and saying I had multiple names would there be less problems, insults, jokes?
Told the truth?  I said nothing because I had no immediate answer and because I'm not obligated to intervene in silly message board nonsense. 

You applied for a bunch of accounts within a very short time frame.  I'd have to actually check to see whether you held more than one at a time and/or posted from more than one at a time.  I don't know the answer to that off hand and, to be perfectly honest, I don't really give a damn.  

I realize that you want to be the center of attention, but you're one of 60,631 registered members of this community (minus the clones) and you are no more or less important than anyone else.  The false persecution angle reeks of narcissism and there's a reason why nobody's backing you on it.  

The act has worn very, very thin. 
so congrats on fooling meth , but he's the only one falling for your stories
I believe that he is suffering from clinical depression - and I thought so before this post even went up.    

I'm not going easy on the guy because I'm worried that he'll harm himself if removed from our forums.  If anything, being banned from this website would probably be good for him.  The kind of attention he needs right now is not going to be found on our forums and I don't think we're obligated to offer him a slew of victims as sacrifice to keep his confidence up.  

We're not saying "it's not our problem" because we're callous to people's suffering, we're saying that a forum environment like this one is not terribly conducive to their healthy recovery - just as Facebook has proven more harm than good for those experiencing depression.

Anyone who needs our forums to build up their self-esteem shouldn't be here.  Mental health issues are no laughing matter and they require professional diagnosis and treatment.  

If we can help encourage people to seek such treatment, great, but anyone who needs this to try and validate their own lofty opinion of themselves is really approaching the community from the wrong angle.  
 
If this a serious post,glad you're okay.
If this a trolling post,then idk...

idk what to think with this dude anymore, either hes obsessed with reps or something.. idk

i remember a dude awhile back lying about having cancer or something :smh:
 
Meth, lock this up. I'm not about to go through these pages and read this BS. But I don't see how in anyway this is productive to NT or the OP.

Like look at this thread compared to other I almost committed suicide threads, there's love and support in there, over here it's just clowning. On some real ****, you gotta chill b. Just learn to let go.
I agree.  This thread has been counterproductive on all fronts.  

I actually tried to spare "Powerballin" some grief by encouraging him to use this experience to be more considerate of other users, knowing how words posted online can hurt, but he decided once again that he'd rather have that conversation in public.  

He may think he wants that type of attention, but look at the results.  

It's been a negative for him and it's been a negative for the community.  

You can't do the same thing over and over again and expect a different outcome.  Looking in the mirror isn't the same as engaging in meaningful reflection.  Several users who were concerned and considerate enough to share their own experiences with depression have talked about how the first step to recovery was considering how the act of taking their own life would hurt those who cared about them the most.  

We want everyone here to be happy and healthy - and what we can't allow is this notion that happiness is somehow zero sum and that you can only make yourself happy by TAKING it from someone else, or that you can only be happy when the world showers you with the affection and rewards you feel you deserve.

While any treatment program should be discussed with your doctor, many people suffering from depression have found it immeasurably helpful to stop obsessing over themselves and their own unhappiness and start caring about others through community service.

When you work to bring happiness to others, you discover that you had the ability to create happiness from within all along.  
 
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