Moving into my inlaw's rental house..Help me out with some ?'s I got..

[Case]

I'll try to make this simple..Me, my wife, and our kids are moving next month..We'll be moving into my mother in law's rental house..The previous tenants screwed her over and didn't pay the last 4 months rent, she's not making us pay a security deposit, and we don't have to pay first and last month's rent..

So here's my questions..

1.Should I pay for the locks to be changed or ask her to pay?
2.Should I pay for the carpets to be cleaned (last renters had cats and Im allergic) or ask her to pay?
3.She says we can either sign a lease or not(I think she wants us to not sign one so she can have some say on how we do things in her home)..Not signing one would give us the freedom to move out whenever we want..But if we don't then I feel like she'll come in and out of house whenever she wants, she'll use the garage to store stuff without asking, and she'll hold it over our head that we have no lease so she's doing us the favor of allowing us to live there(We're paying fair market price for rent so it's not like we're mooching off her for free)

So help me out NT..What do you think we should do?..We have to move out of our apartment cause we got robbed and we don't feel safe..My wife's mom's house is in a pretty good place and it's the only house we can afford..But I don't want to offend her by asking for some of the above things to be paid for and I don't want to get screwed by not signing a lease..What would yall do?

 

[stunnafasho03]

1. U pay

2. U pay

3. Dont sign a lease if you dont have to. She should respect your family enough to not come and go as she pleases. Im in a lease right now and i wish i could do month to month

 

[crcballer55]

First of all SIGN THE LEASE. Most problems happen because it's a "he said, she said" situation. You won't be signing it for legal reasons but rather so that both parties are on the same page for the terms of the agreement.

Second, treat it like a normal tenant-landlord relationship. Since she's not charging you a security deposit, you can always ask for her to replace the carpet & locks depending on her overall financial situation. If she's well off, a normal landlord would take care of those things before you move in. In this situation though, since she's waiving the security deposit & first/last month, it would be entirely appropriate for you to pay for replacement. Have your wife negotiate those things though and let your monther-in-law know why you need the carpet replaced if she doesn't already know.

Through this entire transaction remember... this isn't your mother-in-law, this is your landlord. That way the relationship won't be strained as badly if things go sideways, or they won't be the cause of things going sideways because both parties don't respect the 

boundaries of the relationship.

 

[jones23me]

GO WITH crcballer55... Sounds like the best option.

 

[h1n1proof]

1. U pay

2. U pay

3. Dont sign a lease if you dont have to. She should respect your family enough to not come and go as she pleases. Im in a lease right now and i wish i could do month to month

THIS

1and 2, She's doing you a favor by not charging you for a security deposit and for the first and last months rent. I think it's it's just fair for you to take care of the small things.

I say do it

 

[4wrestling]

Was going to post exactly what CRC said.  It's important to keep business and personal relationships separate and clearly defined.  Paying for things could go either way, but it is very important to have a written lease.

 

[jayhood23]

Sign that lease, make it official and professional.

 

[xbiker47]

get that lease

 

[zebraska24]

GO WITH crcballer55... Sounds like the best option.

I agree.

 

[Case]

See I agree with what you guys are saying about the lease..I want it to be all legal and professional like, but the wife and in-law don't think it's a big deal..I just ain't trying to have her come over and just come strollin' thru the front door like its no big deal or come up with some, "Oh hey, I need to store so and so's furniture in the garage for awhile cause they can't afford storage"..I think I'll go ahead and pay for the locks and carpet to be cleaned since it should only set me back about 200..And I'm gonna go ahead and get that lease signed..I think at the end of the day yall are right and by having a lease it could help prevent some potential problems in the future..

Thanks NT for the Yoda-esque advice..

 

[odog24]

find another place ur going to have problems.

blood and money dont mix

 

[crcballer55]

See I agree with what you guys are saying about the lease..I want it to be all legal and professional like, but the wife and in-law don't think it's a big deal..I just ain't trying to have her come over and just come strollin' thru the front door like its no big deal or come up with some, "Oh hey, I need to store so and so's furniture in the garage for awhile cause they can't afford storage"..I think I'll go ahead and pay for the locks and carpet to be cleaned since it should only set me back about 200..And I'm gonna go ahead and get that lease signed..I think at the end of the day yall are right and by having a lease it could help prevent some potential problems in the future..

Thanks NT for the Yoda-esque advice..

If boundaries are even going to be an issue (and only you will be able to tell from previous experience) then don't move in. There are some people that no matter how clear cut the terms of the agreement are, will not respect them because you're family.

Going on what I previously said, just because you have a lease doesn't mean you have to lock yourself in for a predetermined amount of time. Just make sure it's month-to-month with a 30 day opt out in there for either side.

Bottom line, it's your wife's mom so she's going to have to deal with the difficult issues. Otherwise, you're going to be the son-in-law who's interfering with family business and problems will be created inadvertently.

Good luck. Keep us informed in the coming months on how it goes.

 

[Case]

If boundaries are even going to be an issue (and only you will be able to tell from previous experience) then don't move in. There are some people that no matter how clear cut the terms of the agreement are, will not respect them because you're family.

Going on what I previously said, just because you have a lease doesn't mean you have to lock yourself in for a predetermined amount of time. Just make sure it's month-to-month with a 30 day opt out in there for either side.

Bottom line, it's your wife's mom so she's going to have to deal with the difficult issues. Otherwise, you're going to be the son-in-law who's interfering with family business and problems will be created inadvertently.

Good luck. Keep us informed in the coming months on how it goes.

I'm not sure boundaries will be an issue, but it's just something that won't get outta my head..My wife's family are one of those families that basically don't knock on doors..They just kinda walk right into each others houses without knocking or they do the knock and immediately enter without waiting for someone to anser the door..I was raised different and think it's rude/invasion of privacy..So I already know I'm gonna have to atleast keep my screen door locked all the time..Plus, like I mentioned before, I don't want her or anyone else in her family thinking they can use my garage or spare bedroom for their own personal storage lockers..I really hope these are just minor issues that won't really turn into anything..I'm keeping my fingers crossed and I'll let you guys know if any drama starts..

 

[mjbetch]

You should pay for everything but make sure you sign the lease.

 

[mr j 858]

Sign the Lease and get everything you agree to pay for in writing and keep the receipts for everything.

Family or not and if your mother in law is going to keep using the "I'm doing you and your family a favor" line on you which it sounds like. I can honestly say from experiences that your at some point going to get into some drama and might end up in small claims court.

Bottom line is just cover your behind & protect yourself.