NT..seriously.... how can you tell if your chick is certifiable insane without going to a shrink?

[i am knowledge]

Since I've matured, I stopped doing the conflict in relationships. Of course there will be disagreements in every relationship, but act like adults.
It's weird, I really do think a lot of these women have mental issues, because when you don't engage in conflict the way they are used to, they take itas if you don't care.

I have to punch holes in walls to show I care?

I've got to scream like Lil John?

I have to put my hands on you and restrain you in order for you to act like you have sense?

Nah, I can't do it.

I love my black women, but I've ventured off into other races.

My theory is that it all boils down to how a person was raised. If they were reared in a volatile home, their norms and expectations will be different thanothers. It's a fact that there are many single parent house holds, and that many black families are dysfunctional.

However, most importantly, I think the biggest factor in how a lady interacts with her boyfriend/husband, is based on the relationship that she had with herfather growing up.

I hate to say this, but I don't think I'll ever deal with another lady who has any abandonment issues stemming from her father. Unfortunately, a lot ofblack women have those issues, and those issues will get projected on you in a minute.

I can't do it.

 

[blackmagnus514]

However, most importantly, I think the biggest factor in how a lady interacts with her boyfriend/husband, is based on the relationship that she had with her father growing up.

I hate to say this, but I don't think I'll ever deal with another lady who has any abandonment issues stemming from her father. Unfortunately, a lot of black women have those issues, and those issues will get projected on you in a minute.


I can't do it.


true story....it's too much of a headache...from attention @*!$% tendencies to disrespect to consistently making the wrong dating choices...it's toomuch of a gamble.

 

[ericberry14]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

However, most importantly, I think the biggest factor in how a lady interacts with her boyfriend/husband, is based on the relationship that she had with her father growing up.

I hate to say this, but I don't think I'll ever deal with another lady who has any abandonment issues stemming from her father. Unfortunately, a lot of black women have those issues, and those issues will get projected on you in a minute.


I can't do it.

true story....it's too much of a headache...from attention @*!$% tendencies to disrespect to consistently making the wrong dating choices...it's too much of a gamble.

but by that how do you guys also explain the girls who have fathers that were there in their lives that still have those same issues

 

[eight2one]

ive concluded their all crazy.

 

[dirtylicious]

^a father can be physically present...but at the same time still be absent from his daughter's life

 

[chico dusty]

Originally Posted by I AM KNOWLEDGE

My theory is that it all boils down to how a person was raised. If they were reared in a volatile home, their norms and expectations will be different than others. It's a fact that there are many single parent house holds, and that many black families are dysfunctional.

However, most importantly, I think the biggest factor in how a lady interacts with her boyfriend/husband, is based on the relationship that she had with her father growing up.

QFT.

Your theory holds weight. I too believe this & have had somewhat this convo w/ my current girl.

 

[ericberry14]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

^a father can be physically present...but at the same time still be absent from his daughter's life

true. not sure how i didnt think of that when i was typing up that response.

but on another aspect i agree that some of the issues that women in today's generation have come about because of males in today's generation. But ifyou ask a girl about her behavior she will blame all of the issues that women have today on men. I just feel like they need to take some responsibility fortheir actions instead of blaming the things they do on the males that werent in their life emotionally or physically.

you get what im sayin dirty?

 

[blackmagnus514]

we always a scapegoat. esp black men....

 

[ericberry14]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

we always a scapegoat. esp black men....

Q F M F T

 

[i am knowledge]

Originally Posted by ericberry14

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

However, most importantly, I think the biggest factor in how a lady interacts with her boyfriend/husband, is based on the relationship that she had with her father growing up.

I hate to say this, but I don't think I'll ever deal with another lady who has any abandonment issues stemming from her father. Unfortunately, a lot of black women have those issues, and those issues will get projected on you in a minute.


I can't do it.

true story....it's too much of a headache...from attention @*!$% tendencies to disrespect to consistently making the wrong dating choices...it's too much of a gamble.

but by that how do you guys also explain the girls who have fathers that were there in their lives that still have those same issues


As Dirty put it, a father can be in his daughter's life, yet not provide her with adequate affection and upbringing.

Now I know this issue isn't just limited to Black Women. However, I firmly believe that the way a father makes his daughter feel about herself as a child,is the way that she will feel about herself when she's an adult.

Now if there are any females reading this who happen to fall under this umbrella, I want to emphasize that there are exceptions to everything. You don'thave to have severe hang ups and issues if you experienced this situation, however, more often than not many women do have these issues.

So to my fathers out there. Raise your daughters, love your daughters, teach your daughters.

Sons need fatherly love also, and while young men have a complete different set of issues stemming from this same situation, I don't think men exhibit thesame behavior that women who have been abandoned do.

 

[mytmouse76]

and how did this turn into a black girls with daddy issues? lol

 

[sylvestermcgrizzly]

We are the scapegoat becuz of the way most, not all black men treat women...not to say some don't present themselves in a way to be treated poorly...but Ithink it has more to do wit the mother....I think women more so gravitate towards how mom goes about things...if moms is nutso, more times than not, thedaughter will be....a father figure is important but I have had and known chicks who had pops that were very involved and present emotionally and were stillf'd up in the head mainly becuz there moms was on some other tip...

 

[i am knowledge]

But if you ask a girl about her behavior she will blame all of the issues that women have today on men.
I'm no psychoanalysts, but that one line right there personifies a lot of what I've been saying.

I just feel like they need to take some responsibility for their actions instead of blaming the things they do on the males that werent in their life emotionally or physically.

I agree with you E.B, but to extend on that statement. We all need to take not just some responsibility, but all responsibility for our actions. It's always easy to blame your problems on everyone else. For some people, blaming their failures or inadequacies on someone else legitimizes their shortcomings. Now I don't say this to sound uppity, because we all have problems. Some more than others. And some problems may increase your chances offailure. So what do you do?

I've had a lot of bad stuff happen to me, dating back to when I was a child. And as a result, I had some serious issues. SERIOUS. But I did somethingthat is very hard for people to do. I looked at myself closely, and instead of running from my issues, I attacked them head on. So while I did reach aresolution to many issues, I'll always have some. But I'm functioning, and thriving.

The point is, looking at other people's influence on your life may make you feel good about a bad situation, but looking at yourself is what's going totake you out of that situation.

Apologies for the tangent/rant.

 

[dirtylicious]

Originally Posted by ericberry14

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

^a father can be physically present...but at the same time still be absent from his daughter's life

true. not sure how i didnt think of that when i was typing up that response.

but on another aspect i agree that some of the issues that women in today's generation have come about because of males in today's generation. But if you ask a girl about her behavior she will blame all of the issues that women have today on men. I just feel like they need to take some responsibility for their actions instead of blaming the things they do on the males that werent in their life emotionally or physically.

you get what im sayin dirty?

I get it...
but at the same time you have dudes on here always saying..."I don't trust females after Blah blah blah happened with XYZ girl"

The street goes both ways...
yes, life will give you it's fair share of bumps and bruises...it's up to you to make sure you don't get jaded and bitter.

 

[ericberry14]

Originally Posted by SylvesterMcGrizzly

We are the scapegoat becuz of the way most, not all black men treat women...not to say some don't present themselves in a way to be treated poorly...but I think it has more to do wit the mother....I think women more so gravitate towards how mom goes about things...if moms is nutso, more times than not, the daughter will be....a father figure is important but I have had and known chicks who had pops that were very involved and present emotionally and were still f'd up in the head mainly becuz there moms was on some other tip...

this exactly what i think is the case moreso than it being because the father hasnt been there. But that goes back to what else i was saying abouthow the majority of the blame for female's issues automatically goes to the father. I also agree that their mother is a tell tale sign of how the girlwill treat herself & will treat any girl she is involved with.

 

[chico dusty]

Originally Posted by mytmouse76

and how did this turn into a black girls with daddy issues? lol

Cause ya'll is crazy & we have & forever will try to find out why (to no avail I might add)

 

[ericberry14]

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

Originally Posted by ericberry14

Originally Posted by Dirtylicious

^a father can be physically present...but at the same time still be absent from his daughter's life

true. not sure how i didnt think of that when i was typing up that response.

but on another aspect i agree that some of the issues that women in today's generation have come about because of males in today's generation. But if you ask a girl about her behavior she will blame all of the issues that women have today on men. I just feel like they need to take some responsibility for their actions instead of blaming the things they do on the males that werent in their life emotionally or physically.

you get what im sayin dirty?

I get it...
but at the same time you have dudes on here always saying..."I don't trust females after Blah blah blah happened with XYZ girl"

The street goes both ways...
yes, life will give you it's fair share of bumps and bruises...it's up to you to make sure you don't get jaded and bitter.

dirty you always playin devil's advocate on all these issues

 

[sylvestermcgrizzly]

I hear u eb I think as a whole everyone should be accountable for their own actions...men are generally blamed for all bad that goes down wit women butaccountability should be stressed more than deflection....im tired of when I go somewhere or I'm in class and I hear all the male bashing, itssickening...yea we do our dirt, be we aren't the end all and be all of the issues

 

[dirtylicious]

dirty you always playin devil's advocate on all these issues

just like to remind people there are other viewpoints

 

[nawth21]

And some women are just fiesty, despite their upbringing

 

[blackmagnus514]

LOL @ "fiesty"

 

[harlemtothebronx]

They all got it in them.

it just takes more to bring it out of some than others.

 

[veryanalytical85]

Originally Posted by parada45

All girls are crazy man. Even the sane ones.

You got that right.

 

[dearwinter219]

I took it right, but instead of going left in defiance like most threads, this thread started going in circles just cause it felt like it

.

 

[gameover2]

the fact that you are seriously thinking she's insane means she just might be insane. pack up and leave bruh before it's too late.