Post your most embarrassing sexual encounters Vol. 2012

[kdawg]

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

Originally Posted by k3stacks

Originally Posted by Zyzz

guess you can chalk this one as sexual. i posted it on here years ago when i first did it.

this was 5 years ago, i was hooked on playing halo for xbox. my mom got mad at me for doing bad in school and always playing so she took it away, of course i was mad as well. that night i went to take a shower, still fuming at my halo being taken away i see my moms shampoo bottle so i start fapping and nutted in my mothers shampoo.

never told anyone except for NT.

Your own mother tho?!?!?! SCUST. May your firstborn daughter be a +%%+%+%+%

  

hol up
no offense stacks but

broad and a__ are censored but "+%%+%+%+%" isn't

It is now. Thanks.

 

[seniosoul]

 

[Pathos]

Originally Posted by kdawg

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

Originally Posted by k3stacks

Your own mother tho?!?!?! SCUST. May your firstborn daughter be a +%%+%+%+%

  

hol up
no offense stacks but

broad and a__ are censored but "+%%+%+%+%" isn't

It is now. Thanks.

 

 

[rusty shackelford]

Originally Posted by RetroSan

Originally Posted by kdawg

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford


hol up
no offense stacks but

broad and a__ are censored but "+%%+%+%+%" isn't

It is now. Thanks.

 

kdawg you welcome

and

 at people acting like cbucket is that common a phrase

 

[foxdawg2000]

Originally Posted by Oh YoU MaD

Originally Posted by HOOD17

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

Im in so much pain right now

Damn

1..... 2..... 3!!!!!!!!!! DING DING DING

 

[youngtriz]

Originally Posted by Oh YoU MaD

Originally Posted by HOOD17

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

Im in so much pain right now

Damn

i cant breathe

 

[blakep267]

This is more of a failed awkward encounter. 1 saturday night, Im chilling, driving around with my 2 boys. For some random unknown reason, 1 of my friends decides to call these 2 chicks so they can get dome. Im already leery of this and pretty much am not a party to it. So, fast forward 20 minutes, we're driving around south philly trying to find these 2 chicks. We're driving and we see the 2 girls. We slow down like we're doing a drive by from a movie and we see 1 of the chicks. She had like the Cassie hair cut, where 1 side is longer, and the other side is buzzed. Except it must have been like a few weeks since she got a fresh cut, so it was sorta like fuzzy and messy as crap with a f'ed up hairline. We laughed and immediately sped off. She calls my friend, we reluctantly go back. She then calls for her friend in the house, and they bring out 2 kids and get in my car. What got me at first was like, she was 18, and her kid looked 4-5. Then the fact that they brought kids, knowing what was supposed to go down.

While Im driving, my friends have a pretty long awkward silence, as if they were psychically having a conference about the situation. Then luckily their better judgement prevailed and we took them to the train station and kicked them out. Then my car got trapped in this crazy flash mob on south street, but thats a whole different story. I guess I was supposed to play babysitter while everybody did their business.

 

[daruma]

Originally Posted by Oh YoU MaD

Originally Posted by HOOD17

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

Im in so much pain right now

Damn

 

[JCMojica24]

This thread needs to be stickied up top so we never lose track of it. Straight fire in here haha

 

[Deleted member 38182]

Originally Posted by Smedroc

This happened on NYE actually.

Met a chick, she took me back to the hotel, we start getting down etc...

Anyway against my better judgement i decide im gonna eat the box

... But not the regular way... I seen this prono where dude has the chick sat on his shoulders while he's stood up and he's just nyammin that thang... +%%$ looked boss so i thought i'd try it out. However i'm not as brolic as this dude was so i thought i'll do it against the wall for some support. So i lift this girl up on my shoulders and go to lean her up against what i thought was a wall....

Unfortunately all the Jack and red wine caused me to make a slight misjudgment....what i thought to be a wall was infact a doorway. So as i plant her against fresh air this erotic sexual act suddenly becomes a running powerbomb

This chick hits the canvas HARD with my full weight to follow. She's goes into a semi foetal position and starts wimpering quietly, complaining that her side hurts. I didn't know whether to apologise to this girl or pin her shoulders down for the 3 count. Needless to say i got dressed and left the hotel shortly afterward.

Probably ducktales... but 

Idk if I've ever laughed so hard at anything else before on NT

 

[sillyputty]

Originally Posted by DimesLikeHefner

I couldnt bust a nut tonight guys 

2nd time in a row with the same chick, We were going at it for like 30 min. 

She even hit me with the 

Jokes aside...I never understood why girls got mad if WE couldn't pop...I mean doesn't that work out for them more? 

Then they complain about being sore, etc. 

...like dammit isn't this what you asked for?! 

Originally Posted by papageorgeo510

I farted while hitting it back the back and she said "Oh you farted, haha." Then I said "Well your vagina farted too, now we're even." I then proceeded to bore the hole with much aggression within. 

Originally Posted by blakep267

This is more of a failed awkward encounter. 1 saturday night, Im chilling, driving around with my 2 boys. For some random unknown reason, 1 of my friends decides to call these 2 chicks so they can get dome. Im already leery of this and pretty much am not a party to it. So, fast forward 20 minutes, we're driving around south philly trying to find these 2 chicks. We're driving and we see the 2 girls. We slow down like we're doing a drive by from a movie and we see 1 of the chicks. She had like the Cassie hair cut, where 1 side is longer, and the other side is buzzed. Except it must have been like a few weeks since she got a fresh cut, so it was sorta like fuzzy and messy as crap with a f'ed up hairline. We laughed and immediately sped off. She calls my friend, we reluctantly go back. She then calls for her friend in the house, and they bring out 2 kids and get in my car. What got me at first was like, she was 18, and her kid looked 4-5. Then the fact that they brought kids, knowing what was supposed to go down.

While Im driving, my friends have a pretty long awkward silence, as if they were psychically having a conference about the situation. Then luckily their better judgement prevailed and we took them to the train station and kicked them out. Then my car got trapped in this crazy flash mob on south street, but thats a whole different story. I guess I was supposed to play babysitter while everybody did their business.

 

[41239]

Originally Posted by cs02132

Originally Posted by ar916

I met up with my ex we were fighting, I was just trying to smash and dip outta there, I kept trying to convince, for at least an hour finally i got her to but she didnt wanna I can tell but I was like w.e lol, we get to the bed I put it in took two strokes felt like I was coming I came in the condom and just laid on her she didnt know I came and she was like whats wrong, I said nah if your mad we shouldn't do this, lets talk about what happened, she was happy I was happy until she saw the condom lol

too smooth

 

[chrisb9393]

Originally Posted by slickp42189

Originally Posted by Kramer

Originally Posted by MILLION DOLLAR STACKS

Man, I told this once before. I met this chick off Myspace back in like 2008, name was Urlaisha or some crazy like that. I asked for pics of the mass...me gusta. I'm like bet once i hit VA I'll meet up with you. I was in NC at the time. So I continue to browse the pics on myspace she looked aight. Bruh i met up with her she had a lil gut but nothing too bad. I was like lets hit my room, she was like hold on. Tell me why she brung her kid with her!!! I was like BRUH!!!!!!!!! I take them both to my room im thinking how am I going to smash with this lil dude in here. I tried to get him to go inside my wall locker and play or something but he kept trying to come out. I was like forget im going in. I started smashing while little dude was next to us on the bed. Mind u this dude is like 3 years old. I turn her around and start hitting from the back. This guy hops on his moms back talking about HORSEY, HORSEY....bruh......

never again. I picked up him still stroking and put him on the floor. Bad day man...

Dude... I guess she's more at fault but still that's beyond messed up. And Zyzz, please never post again after that

you foul as **+% bruh, that $%%+ was ratchet as **+% dude, out of order 

So wrong. Not one damn was given.

 

[remix]

Originally Posted by HOOD17

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

Originally Posted by Smedroc

This happened on NYE actually.

Met a chick, she took me back to the hotel, we start getting down etc...

Anyway against my better judgement i decide im gonna eat the box

... But not the regular way... I seen this prono where dude has the chick sat on his shoulders while he's stood up and he's just nyammin that thang... +%%$ looked boss so i thought i'd try it out. However i'm not as brolic as this dude was so i thought i'll do it against the wall for some support. So i lift this girl up on my shoulders and go to lean her up against what i thought was a wall....

Unfortunately all the Jack and red wine caused me to make a slight misjudgment....what i thought to be a wall was infact a doorway. So as i plant her against fresh air this erotic sexual act suddenly becomes a running powerbomb

This chick hits the canvas HARD with my full weight to follow. She's goes into a semi foetal position and starts wimpering quietly, complaining that her side hurts. I didn't know whether to apologise to this girl or pin her shoulders down for the 3 count. Needless to say i got dressed and left the hotel shortly afterward.

Im in so much pain right now

greatest gif execution ever omfg

 

[<Agape]

Originally Posted by remix

Originally Posted by HOOD17

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

Im in so much pain right now

greatest gif execution ever omfg

NOOOOOOOOOOOO 

  

 

[hood17]

That post still has me in tears

 

[coldcity]

Originally Posted by Nktran001

Ol' girl only allowed me to anal and never took her jeans off all the way.

So one night, I just pulled her jeans all the way down and snatch the panties off.. come to find out...........

 

[killthehype]

On new years I went to some guys house with my best friend and her cousin (the guy who's house he went to was god-cousin or something with my best friends cousin).

Well anyways, we got really drunk, he was ugly, I passed out, we had sex, in the morning he tried to wake me up for more and I said I was a lesbian thinking I didn't have sex with him already. I kept going at it and going at it until I saw the condom on the floor. I felt so stupid. I can't believe I did that. I hope the sex was at least good.

Oh yeah, and when I looked in the other direction, on the floor was my cousins best friend sleeping. He heard everything. Including my best friend who had sex with the other guy who lived with them in the living room. She was on her period -_________________-

 

[smedroc]

gif is dead on 

 

[coldcity]

Originally Posted by yngSIMBA

Originally Posted by slickp42189

but i guess my story isnt that bad, i finally got some bomb from a chick my people said wasnt hot enough for me, but im not superficial, long story short i get in and could not last s/o to trey songz, on some real her box was crazy, my gpa went up, i started gettin calls for money, no exaggeration, 3 strokes pop, but it felt so good i didnt go back down, so i go back in, 5 strokes pop, and all she did was lay there, it was embarrassin because her face was like "really?". . . . . . 

fam popped 2 in 8 strokes 

 

[asg528]

nothing really insanely embarrassing but i'll share what I got. Both from this past semester.
There is this girl that I was hooking up with last year while I was a senior year in high school. She was in love with me and I liked her for a lil while but it never worked out. This was because she was kinda boring and would really do much more than just make out. During the summer she told me she wanted me to take her Vcard, but then she kept changing her mind and it never happened. So October comes and she texts me like "I'm ready to lose it" so I said okay and she arranges to come visit me at school. So I go to my 9 AM class after getting five hours of sleep. I meet up with the girl and take her back to my dorm. At this point I would rather sleep than have sex, but I had a job to do. We get to my room, start kissing, I'm playing with the box, the usual warmup. I go to put on the condom and after I roll it down, I realize im not hard enough. i try putting it in and it just squishes. So I take it off and she starts playing with it. After like 5 minutes im still at a semi. Put on another condom (she would not let me hit raw no matter what). Still can't get it in. (Keep in mind that she's a virgin and this is the tightest box i've ever come into contact with) Man i was literally spreading it with my fingers and then trying to quickly stick the D in. Then im like going eye level with it to examine. She starts giving me the most disappointing look and sighing. At this point I lost all mojo and theres no shot that I can complete the task. I try to go down on her to make her happy but her friend that drove her had to go home. So I walk her over to the parking lot and after I kiss her goodbye she goes "oh and you got precum on my leg" so I was like "mah bad

". since then I have tried to finish the job but she hardly answers my texts. dont like her, just want the cherry.

A few weeks after that incident, this girl that I have been friends with preschool is coming to my school to party. We hooked up once in the past but then it stopped because she had a party and saw me getting with my main piece less than 24 hours after we hooked up. But we still stayed friends over the summer. So she comes to visit and a bunch of us go out partying. We get drunk and I start flirting with her and telling her I want another shot. We kiss a few times while out and I invite her to hang in my room. At this point I start to act like a **** and telling her "you know we're gonna smash right?" and "i'm not doing this just for a kiss". We get to my room. Start doing the warmup then I told her I'm gonna grab a rubber. I'm being the cockiest !++@+%! i have ever been. Get the hat on and go in. 50 seconds in I bust. I didn't even know what to do. I had made it sound like I was gonna blow this girls mind, and all did was finish in under a minute. I wanted to jump out my window

. I ask her if she wants me to try again and she says "No no it's fine I have to go meet back up with my friends anyway." Haven't seen her since.

 

[rusty shackelford]

Originally Posted by asg528

nothing really insanely embarrassing but i'll share what I got. Both from this past semester.
There is this girl that I was hooking up with last year while I was a senior year in high school. She was in love with me and I liked her for a lil while but it never worked out. This was because she was kinda boring and would really do much more than just make out. During the summer she told me she wanted me to take her Vcard, but then she kept changing her mind and it never happened. So October comes and she texts me like "I'm ready to lose it" so I said okay and she arranges to come visit me at school. So I go to my 9 AM class after getting five hours of sleep. I meet up with the girl and take her back to my dorm. At this point I would rather sleep than have sex, but I had a job to do. We get to my room, start kissing, I'm playing with the box, the usual warmup. I go to put on the condom and after I roll it down, I realize im not hard enough. i try putting it in and it just squishes. So I take it off and she starts playing with it. After like 5 minutes im still at a semi. Put on another condom (she would not let me hit raw no matter what). Still can't get it in. (Keep in mind that she's a virgin and this is the tightest box i've ever come into contact with) Man i was literally spreading it with my fingers and then trying to quickly stick the D in. Then im like going eye level with it to examine. She starts giving me the most disappointing look and sighing. At this point I lost all mojo and theres no shot that I can complete the task. I try to go down on her to make her happy but her friend that drove her had to go home. So I walk her over to the parking lot and after I kiss her goodbye she goes "oh and you got precum on my leg" so I was like "mah bad

". since then I have tried to finish the job but she hardly answers my texts. dont like her, just want the cherry.

A few weeks after that incident, this girl that I have been friends with preschool is coming to my school to party. We hooked up once in the past but then it stopped because she had a party and saw me getting with my main piece less than 24 hours after we hooked up. But we still stayed friends over the summer. So she comes to visit and a bunch of us go out partying. We get drunk and I start flirting with her and telling her I want another shot. We kiss a few times while out and I invite her to hang in my room. At this point I start to act like a **** and telling her "you know we're gonna smash right?" and "i'm not doing this just for a kiss". We get to my room. Start doing the warmup then I told her I'm gonna grab a rubber. I'm being the cockiest !++@+%! i have ever been. Get the hat on and go in. 50 seconds in I bust. I didn't even know what to do. I had made it sound like I was gonna blow this girls mind, and all did was finish in under a minute. I wanted to jump out my window

. I ask her if she wants me to try again and she says "No no it's fine I have to go meet back up with my friends anyway." Haven't seen her since.

Pride cometh before a fall huh

 

[toliveanddieinnj]

Met a chick online. Told me she was 33, but she looked pretty good. I get to the crib, and she must've used pics from when she was 25 or something. Anyway, she made me dinner, but it took me longer than anticipated to get there, so she had ate already. She stared at me and watched me eat. She also failed to mention that she lived with her cousin and 7 yr old nephew. Also failed to mention, that her bedroom was the living room with a big curtain, and that the cable that the curtain hung on was broken. So I'm there about an hour and we're watching a movie on the couch with the lil kid, doing kid things. Her cousin offered up her bedroom to us and slept on the couch. So we smash, and I must admit the P was super tight, she told me she hadn't been w/ a dude in 2 years. IDk about all that, but the P was def nice.

We were up pretty late messing around, next morning she wakes me up, and just basically takes it with me on my back, squeezed it at the base and just jumped on. I busted in like 3mins, and wasn't even sure if I came, she was so violent. We went out to lunch and came back and this kid is showing me all his artwork, and they are telling me, he's usually so quiet and doesn't open up to people. So now I'm just feeling awkward,(knowing that I'd never go back there) I also fixed the subwoofer on her cousin's surround sound, it was unplugged, I also fixed the bathroom sink, and thru out the whole afternoon, we're sitting on the couch and she kept saying "I wanna jump your bones", in front of her cousin and nephew, and it just made me so uncomfortable. After about the 17th time saying it, and realizing I wasn't receptive, she started saying, I guess I'm never going to see you again. It was just freaking weird. Oh I also shoveled, the bottom of their driveway, because they did a horrendous job shoveling, and my car got stuck trying to pulling out when we had went to lunch. It was just a bizarre friday night/sat, she also tried to have me stay Saturday night, but I said my boy owed me money and was ready to pay me back, just so I could leave, she was in CT and I live in NJ.

Met another chick online, really cute, a lil chubby and very busty. Anyway, exchanged phone #s and texted back and forth, randomly out of nowhere she texted me a couple shots of her boobs and coochie. I was busy doing something so I didn't see the texts for like 30mins and she thought she offended me and started apologizing, so instead of saying anything back, I just sent a pic of my meat and she told me that she would worship it. (1st warning she is a crazy), so we proceed to text the rest of the week and make plans to meet that Friday for dinner. I offered multiple times to pick her up at her house but she was like nah, I don't sleep with guys on the 1st date. We meet at the restaurant and as soon as she sees me, she says I'm cuter in person and starts pinching my butt. Anyway we eat, and I walk her back to her car, before I can ask if she wants to grab a drink or something, she's like "So are you coming over?" I get to her crib, and she has 3 parrots, and all of them have no feathers but their heads and tails, and she calls them her babies and was feeding them her left over cheeseburger (2nd crazy sign, the birds were tweaked out). she then proceeds to tell me about her miscarried baby she had 5 yrs ago, referring to her daughter and telling me about her ex (3rd sign). Anyway she had said something previously to me about burning, so I brought an eL of some nice bud and got her roasted, next thing you know, we're making out. She randomly starts laughing and says no guy ever kisses her this much and she usually is sucking D by now. I'm like oh jeez, and then just start to strip her and get it in. And after she said all that, I wasn't feeling her anymore, and I just couldn't bust, after about 35mins I finally, nut and I was hitting it doggy and pulled out and literally filled the small of her back with jizz, she starts giggling saying, she's never felt that much on her body. Fast forward, the birds are in the other room making the most loud obnoxious noises, I keep hitting my head on that doorway to her bedroom, bc she lived in a weird apt, we smash again. and it's like 5am, we go out to smoke a cig and I prepare to leave, she's like "oh you're not sleeping over?" and I'm like nah, I'll just zip home, i live about 40mins away from her. So I leave, and about 15mins later she texts me that, she misses me, (crazy sign 4), We keep texting thru the week again, and I just lose interest. She flips the full on crazy switch and said "I can't believe, I thought I could love you" and I just lost it and kept trolling her, this lead to a text battle and she would text me something bananas and then I'd reply and she say stop texting me, and then text again, at one point she told me I couldn't bust because of pot and I needed rehab, lol. This went on for like half a day and I just kept finding it more and more funny so I kept egging her on. She then said she was calling the police and I'm like go for it, you keep texting me idiot and then she threatened to call my parents and tell them I'm harrassing her. Mind you I'm 27, so I google her last name and the town where told me she's from, and find her parent's phone number and just text it to her. After that she just said, I'm sorry and never bugged me again. Chick was nuts.

 

[snaggykicks]

great thread

 

[dubbeeone1]

A little while back my girl and I were at my house hanging out while my mum and brother were at the grocery store. So we start to mess around, I get to playing with the box and then I start to insert my thang in her. She's so damn tight I get like two-three strokes in and then I hear the garage door open so I tell her go put her clothes on in the bathroom. I walk in the other room and notice blood all over my hand from that box and I'm like fuhhhh. My mom walks in the house and screams "Are you bleeding?!" and I'm like ahhh shizz "Naww I just got a bloody nose." So I wipe up all the blood on myself from my "bloody nose" and come back downstairs to see a trail of blood on the floor from where we got to poppin off to the bathroom. Damn thing was 

. Thought the girl was gonna come out the bathroom crying and what not and she just comes out like nothing ever happened. Scariest moment of my life.