Share your stories working retail Vol. Yes I do work here

[adobecs4]

Customer: Where is the men`s cologne?Me: In the glass caseCustomer: Is it lockedMe:

--------------Customer: What`s the price of this $9.99 shirt?Me: (mumbles) you can`t be serious--------------This one yesterday made me want to choke a toddler. Lady comes in with 2 bags of clothes to return. Okay, fine. She has around 12 items. And brought in almost 20 different reciepts

She said she didn`t remember which reciepts the items were on. So I spend about 15 minutes returning her items. She then complained that I took too long. I proceeded to tell her, "Ma`am, unless it is a life or death situation, please don`t ever come through my line again

" Her face was priceless. I wanted to slap her. Lucky I didn`t see her in the parking lot when I got off

 

[isitsafe]

I used to work at sunglass hut, and used to get wood on the regular.

Most of the time I used to try and stay behind the counter when it happened, but one day I thought I tucked it into the top part of my pants where my belt is,
but it slipped out I guess, and some girl in the shop was all like "What are you thinking about?????!!!"

So I just went in the back and fixed my self.

LOL!!!

The thing is I get wood when I'm extremely tired too, so this happens at work a lot in the office too. So I just sit there and concentrate, then bam, A hot coworker will walk by.

 

[solewoman]

when people ask do i work here. i always say no. our uniform is a little different than the normal sales people. if hes cute or if i feel like being nice ill go back but for the most part i dont care. in essence...im not lying because i only get that question when im roaming the sales floor which is what i shouldnt be doing in the first place.

 

[jking0821]

I used to work at an arcade/putt putt golf course. My favorite lines.

Customer : Is this the golf place?
Me: you are here...you are looking at the mini- golf course....you tell me

customer: Hey where are your go-carts
Me: We don't have them i'm sorry
Customer: are you sure?
Me: actually I'm not they could be hiding around here if you find one and a giant track to race it on let me know

Customer (grown woman or man): Can i have a bouncy ball
Me: How many tickets do you have
Customer: 40
Me: that big bouncy ball is 60
Customer: o well how can i get it
Me: u serious.....

Working the prize counter at an arcade is the worst!!! job ever. It really shows peoples stupidity. Like when they ask for 3 50 ticket items and they have 125 tickets. People can't do simple math.

 

[faulkit28]

I used to work at KB toys(95-05).  To many stories to think of from employees getting caught stealing, employees having sex in the stockroom, Black friday fights. 

 

[food4thgt]

Originally Posted by Jking0821

I used to work at an arcade/putt putt golf course. My favorite lines.

Customer : Is this the golf place?
Me: you are here...you are looking at the mini- golf course....you tell me

customer: Hey where are your go-carts
Me: We don't have them i'm sorry
Customer: are you sure?
Me: actually I'm not they could be hiding around here if you find one and a giant track to race it on let me know

Customer (grown woman or man): Can i have a bouncy ball
Me: How many tickets do you have
Customer: 40
Me: that big bouncy ball is 60
Customer: o well how can i get it
Me: u serious.....

Working the prize counter at an arcade is the worst!!! job ever. It really shows peoples stupidity. Like when they ask for 3 50 ticket items and they have 125 tickets. People can't do simple math.

 

[sneakerhead401]

Customer: Hey if I'm a size 11 in store, What size should I order online?

Me:

...

....uhhh 11?

Customer: You sure?

Me: Yea I believe so

 

[raw120]

Originally Posted by isitsafe

I used to work at sunglass hut, and used to get wood on the regular.

Most of the time I used to try and stay behind the counter when it happened, but one day I thought I tucked it into the top part of my pants where my belt is,
but it slipped out I guess, and some girl in the shop was all like "What are you thinking about?????!!!"

So I just went in the back and fixed my self.

LOL!!!

The thing is I get wood when I'm extremely tired too, so this happens at work a lot in the office too. So I just sit there and concentrate, then bam, A hot coworker will walk by.

 

[heartofthacity]

Originally Posted by raw120

Originally Posted by isitsafe

I used to work at sunglass hut, and used to get wood on the regular.

Most of the time I used to try and stay behind the counter when it happened, but one day I thought I tucked it into the top part of my pants where my belt is,
but it slipped out I guess, and some girl in the shop was all like "What are you thinking about?????!!!"

So I just went in the back and fixed my self.

LOL!!!

The thing is I get wood when I'm extremely tired too, so this happens at work a lot in the office too. So I just sit there and concentrate, then bam, A hot coworker will walk by.

I remember a while back there was an entire thread about boners at work

 

[needsomejays]

i used to work at target, and in the one i worked at they have huge neon signs for each section of the store, and this one time this guy walks into guest services, looks up at the HUGE neon sign that reads "Guest Services", looks back down at the person at the desk and asks "is this guest services"

 

[1000xcartel]

Abercrombie, many stories to share, will post later

 

[speakup23]

Oh man bookmarked

I cant really say I have any bad customer stories ( I cant remember)
All the good stuff happened at my old job when I wasnt there

 

[addict4sneakers]

I work in a department store. I was trying help ring a line of customers in the lingerie section.

Lady comes up to me and asks "where are the panties that make my butt look bigger?"

me thinking: no drawers in the world can fix you

my answer: "no comment. Can you wait for a lingerie associate"

 

[proper english]

i used to work @ Toys R' Us' bike dept.. there was this HUGE teenage girl who wanted to try one of the bikes.. she sits down, quickly gets up and asks me if i can lower her seat.. i oblige (regretfully) 

  Jesus F$%^& Christ, the stench she left on the bike saddle was unholy.. i damn near threw up in my mouth (i had to pretend i had allergies, from all the gagging and coughing i was doing) 

 

[cedric ceballos 1995 lakers]

man working at lids was an everyday comedy fest to me.


customers are cheap and broke and basiclly want stuff for nothing and react like you peed on their kids when you tell them you'll hook them up only if they throw you some side $ or buy you lunch because it's called a favor for a favor.

parents would let their kids run around like wild animals and not pick up after them.

thank god i don't work retail anymore.

usual questions i would get.

customer :"ay man what could you do for me? you thing i could get this hat for $25 even?"
me: "the hat is priced at $31.99 why would i sell it to a stranger i never met for $25 even?"

customer: "can i get your discount"
me: "sure just go ahead to mcdonalds and bring me a number 2 and ill give you 20% off those 5 hats your buying"
customer: "i don't have enough for all that and to get you food"
me: "i guess you never heard of a favor for a favor, why would i hook you up when it doesn't benifit me?"
^
(on this one most people used their brain and would either give me side money or buy me lunch in return for the discount because they knew it's a favor for a favor but i did get alot of cheap people)

customer: "how much are the hats?"
me: "their all different prices"

customer looking directly at hat with price tag on it: "how much does this hat cost?"
me: "whatever the price tag on it says"

grown adult customer who should have more then a 4th grade education: "i don't know my size 7 1/4 is bigger then 7 1/2 right?"
me: "the hats are sized in order from smallest to biggest by fractions"
grown adult customer who should have more then a 4th grade education: "i'm confused, so 7 1/4 is bigger then because 4 is bigger then 2 right?"

me: sarcasticlly while thinking to myself are you really that f'ing stupid "yes 7 1/4 is bigger then 7 1/2



with all that being said, it's some dumb retail employees, managers as well. i'm going to make a thread on that.

 

[bwood056]

worked at champs sports for a yr... couple came in one time in the fitting room, and ddue copped some dome.. chick was on her knees and all lmao..

 

[proper english]

Originally Posted by Cedric Ceballos 1995 Lakers


grown adult customer who should have more then a 4th grade education: "i don't know my size 7 1/4 is bigger then 7 1/2 right?"
me: "the hats are sized in order from smallest to biggest by fractions"
grown adult customer who should have more then a 4th grade education: "i'm confused, so 7 1/4 is bigger then because 4 is bigger then 2 right?"
me: sarcasticlly while thinking to myself are you really that f'ing stupid "yes 7 1/4 is bigger then 7 1/2

 wow.. i know what you mean.. i used to toy with the customers all the time..

 

[nbafatso]

Some people are dumb. Glad I've never worked retail.

 

[jbug88]

I used to work at Miller's Outpost.
I met Brandy in '95. She was a b itch.
She wanted to buy a vest. I told her that we didn't sell vests. she rolled her eyes at me..
I also met Christopher Darden about 6 months after the OJ trial. Dude still looked like he was devastated.

-J-

 

[cragmatic]

Customer - Hey can you give me a deal on that laptop? (computer is 499.99)
Me- Yeah, how about if I give it to you for 499.99?

One time I had this redneck idiot group looking to buy a netbook, we had one for 399, and another one that is normally 399 was on sale for 359.

Customer - Can you give me this other one for 359 too? I don't like the color of this one...

So I proceed to explain its a special in the ad, I can't price match a completely different one just because of the color, they freak out and demand a manager, my manager straight up says to them "Well just like you other people don't like the color of that one, so thats why its cheaper"

Said he had to get down to their level

The worst is when people freak out on you because they've been waiting for help for so long "I've been waiting for an hour help me out!"

So a few weeks ago I stepped off the floor for 2 mins to get a drink of water, come back and a new guy is in the department with his son

Me - Can I help you?
Him- I've been waiting here for 30 mins!
Me - Umm, no you haven't been here that long.
Him - Yeah your right, but I've been thinking about buying something for 30 mins

9/10 the customer woulda gotten pissed, and he just laughed at it and ended up being cool as hell

 

[veezyv]

good stories in here

 

[vanexellent]

Worked at Sears in the kids clothing/"Funtronics" department back in the mid 90's
Such highlights as:
* some kid taking a dump and leaving their briefs in a change room
* girls from the Lingerie dept calling to tell me that a man was trying on Lingerie in their change rooms.
*One time I was helping this older man who was kinda small looking kids jeans. When I asked whats the size and the age the kid who he's buying the jeans for was... and he got mad and said it was for him.
* In the "funtronics" (video game) area they had demo units for the Nintendo 64, Sega Saturn and Playstation and whenever a mother would leave a kid there to play them while she shopped (like it was daycare) I would unplug the demo units to be a jerk.
* If a customer was rude and being an A-hole I would make sure to accidently put a security tag in their bag to set off the alarm.
* If a customer was demanding that I go look in the back storage room to look for something I would just go in the back room and sit for 5 minutes pretending to look when I really wasnt.

 

[kn0wledgeable]

Originally Posted by proper english

i used to work @ Toys R' Us' bike dept.. there was this HUGE teenage girl who wanted to try one of the bikes.. she sits down, quickly gets up and asks me if i can lower her seat.. i oblige (regretfully) 

  Jesus F$%^& Christ, the stench she left on the bike saddle was unholy.. i damn near threw up in my mouth (i had to pretend i has allergies, i was gagging so much) 

HAD ME DYING

I USE TO WORK DOWNTOWN AT BED BATH BEYOND (NEW YORK CITY)
of course there's people who ask stupid questions, that's the reg.

but
you know there's times where we all get bored as workers and invent something to do

so me being the wise guy that i am get my boy and a couple pieces of paper and a marker for each of us. so every time we had any female walk by us we would draw 1-10 what we thought of them.

OD FUNNY. manager saw us and was laughing. one of the female customers saw us and was on some "

i cant believe they are doing that

" needless to say we had one obese lady walk by  us and we had to pull up a couple 0's

a couple times people would bring in dogs and the dogs would unleash their previous meal in the middle of the floor

you know there are some people who walk and arent aware of whats on the floor and would step all over it

retail can be fun but being around people all the time can be

once you get accustomed to it though its just like

 

[famenycity1]

i work in a cell phone store.

Chick comes in and has tmobile flex pay $60 plan, we proceed to talk and she explains that she doesnt have the money to pay for it. So she says she will give me domes if i pay for her, i agree, it was a great day at work...., and i never put the money on her account.

My partner was working one day and a guy comes in asks us to put him on credit for a blackberry for his daughter, saying he will bring in the money tomorrow...he offers to leave his watch for insurance. A $3750 chanel watch, said he will be back tomorow to pay for the phone... comes back 4 days later to get the watch, we do the good old "What are you talking about? What watch?" He was bugging for a week came with friends making threats but never did anything, Sick watch!

Worked Valet on the side for a little, guy came on a yellow lambo gave me $100 told em to take care of it, so i took it on a spin on the highway for 30 miles, parked it and noticed this guy had a knot, and i mean a knot of hundreds in a bag in the passenger side. I took $700, in total the italian on the lambo gave me a $800 payday =], I slept so good that night.

 

[Kobekobe]

I work at a gokart track, people are really stupid sometimes.

this happened a few weeks ago actually:

guest: "hi, how old do you have to be to ride gokarts by yourself"
me: "how old is your son?" (i always ask this because if i say the age, then they'll just say the son is that age)
guest: "he's 9"
me: "sorry, he has to be 11 years old to drive by himself. since he's under 11, a person with a drivers licence and over the age of 18 can take him"
guest: "ok he's 11"
me: "ok no. sorry"
guest: "ok fine, so can my daughter take him? she's 17 and has her g2"
me: "fine i'll make an exception this one time but i need to see the licence to verify her age"
guest: "you are making this very difficult for me, blah blah blah"

that's when i zoned off and told her i had to come back to work..
2 hours later, she comes back with her husband

husband: "why can't he go by himself?"
me: "he's 9 sir"
husband: "ok fine i'll take him"
daughter: "can i take one of the fast ones that require a licence"
me: "do you have it on you?"
daughter: "no"
wife/mom: "ok now youre really starting to piss me off. you are giving us a hard time"

me: "ok no, YOU are pissing me off okay. i'm here doing my job and you're giving me a hard time. i was willing to do an exception for your family as long as your daughter produced a licence, but you didn't"
wife/mom: "where's your supervisor"
me: "i am the supevisor on duty, do you wanna speak with my manager? you can take it up with him"
wife/mom: "no that's fine"

___

and another short one..

guest: "i have a turban on, do i need a helmet?"
me: "yes"
guest: "but i can ride a motorcycle without a helmet"
me: "no... you can't"
guest: "you guys are racist"
me: "go read the sign. all guests must wear helmets"

some ppl these days.. i have way more i may post later if you guys like these