TAY: IT'S A MAN THING GINA

Status
Not open for further replies.
Hennessy said:
It wasn't like I just dropped this on her as an ultimatum. We decided together.

When we first talked about this. She was against the open relationship and wanted to stay exclusive because she couldn't imagine me being with anyone else and I was fine with that. Then after having talked to her best friend yesterday, they were talking about it together and she wondered if it could really work like that. She wasn't a thot before we met at all. She had just lost her virginity to some guy to get it out of the way two weeks before I met her so I'm her second and really the only person she's ever been with.
And so she was afraid of losing me if she hooked up with someone and told me. But she said to me that she feels if I ever cheated on her she would probably be able to look past it because she likes me so much, and admitted that she was flawed in that way. Where I on the other hand have zero tolerance. I was kinda surprised she felt that way honestly.
n.
Click to expand...

This is how the conversation with her friend probably went
GF: Hennessy wants an open relationship
BF: That sorry muthasucka wants to cheat he don't love you
GF: Hennessy does love me don't say that girl
BF: Mmmmmmm hmmmmmm
GF: I understand he's had many girls before me, he's just being man
BF: Gurrrrl you need to go out and get you some of that sexy voice Austrailian Pipe, they don't call it the country down under for no reason.
GF: girl you know im not like that, I've had 2 men in my life and im not trying to be a statistic , plus..............................................I love him..................................I really love him. why oh why does he want this Open relationship.
BF: Girl just tell him you're cool with it and see how he reacts, if he's happy, bad sign.
if he fights it and realizes he is a fool then it's meant to be.



IDK man, like i said i didn't mean to come off as douche saying that to you, but from what you typed she doesnt want this at all.

and shes bending herself just to keep you.
 
Last edited:
mugen81 said:
Not everyone that comes into your life is supposed to stay. Just the conflicts you two guys are having says to me that the decision is clear cut but you guys are too scared to face the harsh realities. Let her go and if it's meant to be then it shall. Trying to force or place stipulations (from both parties) will just make things harder. There is always a fine line you walk in relationships but sometimes you have to take hard stances and stand by your convictions. If you are truly in love, like my bro Tdogg and Hawaii said, 5 months ain't ish. Plus we live in a technological era of FaceTime and Skype. If you two cant ride this out and be faithful to each other now, please don't even consider marriage or moving in. My wife gets hit on regularly( even while pregnant) and I trust her and she knows who is at home. If your girl really is about loyalty then this conversation shouldn't have even come up. Yes it's realistic to believe that things might dive south and you guys might hook up with others, but your foundation of trust should always be precedent. There is a red flag in all of this for me, can't quite put my finger on it but insecurities, trust, something seems off.
But I wish you two the best, sometimes in life it's better to do the hard things even when you don't want to..
Peace
Click to expand...

Repped. You're right dude. I always told her that if she ever cheated on me while at college to just let me know so I could end it and stop wasting my time. I want to stand by that stance/conviction like you said because why would I just change that because it's a longer period in a different country? Why would I trust her less if I trust her 100% now. I think I'm definitely projecting some of my own insecurities about what I did in the past and what girls have done to me onto this relationship, which isn't fair. I basically copy and pasted what you said as a template and changed stuff around, added and removed, and said it to her. And then at the end I told her I'm not with the open relationship thing we decided any more and I want to either fully commit and stay together or we go our seperate ways and if it's meant to be in the future it will be. So I guess we'll come to that decision in four months.
 
My ***** U BEING SOME LOW CONFIDENCE MANA RIGHT NOW U TRYNA WIFE HER UP OR NAH CAUSE STOP WASTING HER TIME. YOU NOT HOLDING HER DOWN YOU HOLDIN HER BACK
 
Hennessy, I feel you man. 5 months is a long time for even a normal long distance relationship. She's gonna be in a different country, different time zone, 0 chance of seeing her. I don't think it's wrong to be worried.

Also, depending on the program, if this is some under grad study abroad - those things are made for students to have fun. Class is hardly taken that serious. Mostly P/F. They really just want people to explore the new country and all that. So for her - even if she seems hesitant - she should be enjoying the freedom. Instead of feeling tied down. Going to a new college with a LDR is the worst.
 
301216baller said:
Damn forreal man I haven't been friend zoned since like 9th grade what can I do to turn it around
Click to expand...
[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:tongue:unctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument></xml><![endif]

As an introvert, listening is a skill, but I had to curve that with these women or I would end up being their psychiatrist. I practiced SELECTIVE listening. Sounds weird but follow me. I sometimes pretend not to hear them, straight ignored what they said and just start talking about something else, or call them out on their BS.  I refuse to be someone’s therapist.  It took me awhile to get the right balance but it is working for me.

[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles></xml><![endif][if gte mso 10]><style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;mso-style-noshow:yes;mso-style-parent:"";mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;mso-para-margin:0cm;mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;mso-pagination:widow-orphan;font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:#0400;mso-fareast-language:#0400;mso-bidi-language:#0400;}</style><![endif]
 
This chick is trippin. We've talked on the phone for hours and text damn near all day and she says "I don't try to get to know her".
 
Went on the first date since me and my ex,  went great ,good girl. She wants to chill this weekend. 
pimp.gif
 
Dinner is a classic first date activity. But don't be scared to try something more hands on. Bowling. Pool. Mini golf or go carting to name a few. Most females just get the Olive Garden treatment the first date and that can be kinda routine. If she is a cool girl and outgoing try something else. Guarantee they eat it up and will be more impressed then you asking her what appetizer y'all wanna split at chilis. Lol
 
Shootin pool is a good one depending on the vibe yall give eachother.

A chill lil restraunt is also coo.

My girl dont even drink so when me and her started dating it wasnt like we had to go somewere where tere is alcohol.

Go cart racing is another. Being diffrent is somethig females like.
 
I'm taking this chick bike riding and monument gazing when I get back to DC for our first date
 
Last edited:
not to harp too much on Hennessey's situation
but some of you dudes acting real NT right now.

Like y'all never go/went without yambs for more than a week.

I'm all for the let her live her life thing. and let her go
IF
there was a problem and that's what she wanted.

Some people (men and women) love the insurance of coming back to something. or having something come back to them.
if she doesnt NEED to have sex x(which everyone on earth DOESN'T NEED) then she wont do it.
Not every woman is out looking for Penis everyday (same with men and yambs)

It's like Chris Rock said. it's nothing for woman to brush off dudes, They've been offered **** since they were in Middle school (with love letters vday cards)
Give some chicks a bit more credit. Not all are hopping on the first penis train to cheating.
 
Joepac12 said:
Dinner is a classic first date activity. But don't be scared to try something more hands on. Bowling. Pool. Mini golf or go carting to name a few. Most females just get the Olive Garden treatment the first date and that can be kinda routine. If she is a cool girl and outgoing try something else. Guarantee they eat it up and will be more impressed then you asking her what appetizer y'all wanna split at chilis. Lol
Click to expand...

[COLOR=#red]True, true. If you want more than average things to happen, do more than verge things on a first date. Be creative. Another thing if the chick acts like there isn't anything else she wants to do but go out to eat then she pretty much exposed herself that she's just in it for a free meal. Trust and believe chicks will sometimes give out their numbers to just to create a stockpile of dudes in which can take them out. Don't be that guy.[/COLOR]
 
Tdogg2k said:
not to harp too much on Hennessey's situation
but some of you dudes acting real NT right now.

Like y'all never go/went without yambs for more than a week.

I'm all for the let her live her life thing. and let her go
IF
there was a problem and that's what she wanted.

Some people (men and women) love the insurance of coming back to something. or having something come back to them.
if she doesnt NEED to have sex x(which everyone on earth DOESN'T NEED) then she wont do it.
Not every woman is out looking for Penis everyday (same with men and yambs)

It's like Chris Rock said. it's nothing for woman to brush off dudes, They've been offered **** since they were in Middle school (with love letters vday cards)
Give some chicks a bit more credit. Not all are hopping on the first penis train to cheating.
Click to expand...

[COLOR=#red]Well yeah I see what you are saying Tdogg my dude...Here's the thing though, it's not as if women look for penis per se, they tend to look for companionship when they are lonely, and the guy that can provide that companionship can cause her to be more susceptible to intimate feelings which then could lead to sex. Not so much just needing a dik fix my dude.

I'm studying now but I'll try to come back here later and share with y'all how the wolves work in situations like these. It's kinda disheartening to hear, but it is what it is. I'm not so much the counselor/advice guy in here, I just know how to unlock the door to these women, it's all mental. [/COLOR]
 
My go to first date has been bottomless mimosa brunch. Fun and relaxed atmosphere and of course the drinks.

Led to quite a few first date smashes and it helped I lived down the street. Also took my girl there for our first date.
 
[COLOR=#red]Human nature pretty much guarantees that at some point during a long marriage at least one partner will have an extra-marital affair (at least a pretty decent percentage anyway...there are exceptions). We tend to think that as long as it is us the guy that doesn't cheat that infidelity is a non-issue in the marriage. Wives and long term gfs are not immune to stepping out. A woman might not step out for sexual reasons in and of itself...sometimes they may feel stagnant, unloved, like their spouse isn't doing the little things anymore, her spouse is too busy, etc. [/COLOR]
 
Hennessy said:
Thanks dudes. I have a lot to think about it. It's still 4 or 5 months before she leaves.
Click to expand...

And the conversation was being started now? I understand wanting to clear the air, but I feel as if it could have waited a bit closer to the date of her leaving. Not the week of, but I'm sure you know what I mean.

Now things may be even more uncomfortable for the two of you knowing how each other feel, but with months to go before any real decision needed to be laid down.
 
It is uncomfortable. But we decided not to discuss more until later and in person.

She said "I know - it's a lot to think about. And I don't want a half *** relationship either, I mean I don't think keeping it open while I'm In aus would be half assing it, but rather saving the relationship from any potential risks and thinking about it in realistic terms. But I love you, and if that's how you feel - then I have to tough it out "

Then I said it shouldn't have to be tough and she replied.

"It's not that I'm dying to cheat on you or anything like that. It's that, personally, I need to be close to the person I'm with. I need the constant contact and touch, which can be a character flaw in some situations. How can you say that not being together isn't going to be tough? That wanting contact but not being able to receive it isn't going to be tough? That not being able to talk to you anytime I want and be reassured won't be difficult? That having to carefully schedule every call, video chat, and any other form of contact because of drastically different lifestyles and time differences won't be tough? It's going to be extremely difficult and daunting."

Then we decided we'll talk later but I'm not gonna lie has put some strain on the current relationship which was otherwise going perfect.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

The ultimate sneaker enthusiast community.

NikeTalk was created as a way of giving back to both the sneaker enthusiast community and to the greater global community of which we are all a part.

NikeTalk is NOT affiliated with Nike Inc. in any way, shape, or form. All opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of Nike, Inc.

© 1999-2024 NikeTalk.com

Share this page

Back
Top Bottom