There are NO benefits for men to get married.

[still1rise]

My intentions for this thread are not to bash people already married, but yet inform others to think for themselves and decide what lifestyle will Truly be enjoyable.

What I see in many marriages... Most women would never settle down if they didnt lose there looks or have a biological time clock. But they cash in because they know after a while there value will go down and then nobody will want them.  Men do not have this problem, but can get caught up in the whole family life before reaching their true potential. The not so attactive ones have to believe in "love" because what else do they have to believe in? They end up settling for Mr. good enough, not someone they truly love. A marriage imo is just a partnership. What makes for a good marriage does not make for a good romantic relationship. I think many women would actually like to be married and feel alone then really be alone.

Marriage for men = human wallet, sperm donor, babysitter.

Overall its interesting to hear different views. Even tho we will never really see eye to eye I appreciate everyones opinion. To each is his own tho.

 

[mrsouthernhospitality]

Originally Posted by Nikekidwonder

Originally Posted by Wilroc

I'm still trying to figure out a few things ..
Becoming a husband = becoming a man?

You can't have a family without being married?

Two people can't fully love each other unless they are married?

Why do people feel the above statements are true?

Edit: It looks like the majority of people in here defending marriage only do so due to social reasons and feeling like they need to. I don't think many benefits have been named.

The only benefits to marriage is money and the title that your telling the world this is my woman for live 

exactly thats it 
the court system benefits more than you do

I dont think I will love her any more or less 

 

[capricorn1229]

Why is anybody listening to what LDJ says?

From what he has shared in the past he is a horrible human being with no soul. He will make babies and not support them. 

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by YoungTriz

shouldnt you want a woman who is not worried about what people think? shouldnt you want a woman that is strong enough to not care about the backlash in public?...

I wouldn't but a "shouldn't" there because to say "shouldn't you want" implies that if someone doesn't, they are wrong.

But yes, I prefer a woman that doesn't fall victim to those outside forces. Someone that is strong enough to know, "Damn what I have with my man DC doesn't need to be validated by an expensive ceremony that I have to spend $ on a dress that I will only wear one time." I would love to have that type of woman in my life. But like I said, that is a rare (special in my eyes) type of woman. People live for the respect of their peers, so it is understood that folks want to have a ceremony (and subconsciously compete with the previous weddings attended) to "prove" the love they have for their partner.

But as I said before, it is all pageantry to me. It truly means NOTHING to me. And I find it sad that someone thinks I am sad for feeling this way. It is all the material world. That is all it is. It means nothing.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by YoungTriz

shouldnt you want a woman who is not worried about what people think? shouldnt you want a woman that is strong enough to not care about the backlash in public?...

I wouldn't but a "shouldn't" there because to say "shouldn't you want" implies that if someone doesn't, they are wrong.

But yes, I prefer a woman that doesn't fall victim to those outside forces. Someone that is strong enough to know, "Damn what I have with my man DC doesn't need to be validated by an expensive ceremony that I have to spend $ on a dress that I will only wear one time." I would love to have that type of woman in my life. But like I said, that is a rare (special in my eyes) type of woman. People live for the respect of their peers, so it is understood that folks want to have a ceremony (and subconsciously compete with the previous weddings attended) to "prove" the love they have for their partner.

But as I said before, it is all pageantry to me. It truly means NOTHING to me. And I find it sad that someone thinks I am sad for feeling this way. It is all the material world. That is all it is. It means nothing.

 

[an dee 51o]

Originally Posted by RKO2004

I hope you don't plan to have kids my man, since you get bored like that.

And people wonder why America is jacked up. Families falling apart. Middle class falling apart. More children now with no direction or guidance. Look at this thread.

Not planning on having kids either.

@ "More children now with no direction or guidance." Were you alive during the 90's?

Half of all marriages end in divorce. I think we both know that. People getting married, having kids and getting divorced is much more of a problem than people who have no intention of getting married in the first place.

 

[an dee 51o]

Originally Posted by RKO2004

I hope you don't plan to have kids my man, since you get bored like that.

And people wonder why America is jacked up. Families falling apart. Middle class falling apart. More children now with no direction or guidance. Look at this thread.

Not planning on having kids either.

@ "More children now with no direction or guidance." Were you alive during the 90's?

Half of all marriages end in divorce. I think we both know that. People getting married, having kids and getting divorced is much more of a problem than people who have no intention of getting married in the first place.

 

[doublejs07]

For those who are vehemently against marriage, can I ask what your upbringing was like? Honestly, I think the way you were brought up and your experiences seeing the dynamic of your OWN family molds how you view things in the present. Also, your ages....not to knock anyone, but there are some immature responses on both sides of the argument in this thread. Personally, I'm willing to accept other peoples POVs, but it's easy to weed out comments from folks who come off as "young."

 

[doublejs07]

For those who are vehemently against marriage, can I ask what your upbringing was like? Honestly, I think the way you were brought up and your experiences seeing the dynamic of your OWN family molds how you view things in the present. Also, your ages....not to knock anyone, but there are some immature responses on both sides of the argument in this thread. Personally, I'm willing to accept other peoples POVs, but it's easy to weed out comments from folks who come off as "young."

 

[DCAllAfrican]

And I am sorry, if I was a professional athlete, I would NEVER get married. Only because the defensive side of me wouldn't allow my brain to believe that any woman would NOT have alterior motives when dealing with me. I would think it was only for the money.

Or I have even thought about lying and telling the girl I am a school teacher and see how long she would stay on the team. Then one day I would let her know what I do for a living. Must be tough to have all of that $ and try to convince yourself there are people out there that don't want your $. Not sure I have that much faith in the human soul. Money hungry creatures we are.

 

[nikekidwonder]

Originally Posted by Still1Rise


My intentions for this thread are not to bash people already married, but yet inform others to think for themselves and decide what lifestyle will Truly be enjoyable.

What I see in many marriages... Most women would never settle down if they didnt lose there looks or have a biological time clock. But they cash in because they know after a while there value will go down and then nobody will want them.  Men do not have this problem, but can get caught up in the whole family life before reaching their true potential. The not so attactive ones have to believe in "love" because what else do they have to believe in? They end up settling for Mr. good enough, not someone they truly love. A marriage imo is just a partnership. What makes for a good marriage does not make for a good romantic relationship. I think many women would actually like to be married and feel alone then really be alone.

Marriage for men = human wallet, sperm donor, babysitter.

Overall its interesting to hear different views. Even tho we will never really see eye to eye I appreciate everyones opinion. To each is his own tho.

I think the biggest component your forgetting it love 
Some people truly fall for each other and get married for that simply reason 

Not every female has a hidden agenda 

 

[nikekidwonder]

Originally Posted by Still1Rise


My intentions for this thread are not to bash people already married, but yet inform others to think for themselves and decide what lifestyle will Truly be enjoyable.

What I see in many marriages... Most women would never settle down if they didnt lose there looks or have a biological time clock. But they cash in because they know after a while there value will go down and then nobody will want them.  Men do not have this problem, but can get caught up in the whole family life before reaching their true potential. The not so attactive ones have to believe in "love" because what else do they have to believe in? They end up settling for Mr. good enough, not someone they truly love. A marriage imo is just a partnership. What makes for a good marriage does not make for a good romantic relationship. I think many women would actually like to be married and feel alone then really be alone.

Marriage for men = human wallet, sperm donor, babysitter.

Overall its interesting to hear different views. Even tho we will never really see eye to eye I appreciate everyones opinion. To each is his own tho.

I think the biggest component your forgetting it love 
Some people truly fall for each other and get married for that simply reason 

Not every female has a hidden agenda 

 

[DCAllAfrican]

And I am sorry, if I was a professional athlete, I would NEVER get married. Only because the defensive side of me wouldn't allow my brain to believe that any woman would NOT have alterior motives when dealing with me. I would think it was only for the money.

Or I have even thought about lying and telling the girl I am a school teacher and see how long she would stay on the team. Then one day I would let her know what I do for a living. Must be tough to have all of that $ and try to convince yourself there are people out there that don't want your $. Not sure I have that much faith in the human soul. Money hungry creatures we are.

 

[martianrefugee]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

DC and LDJ.  I actually feel sorry for you guys.  Its sad to see people suck all the joy out of life and disguise it as "living for me".   It's sad to see grown men who find pleasure in finding ways to defend acting like children.  The close-minded and selfish point of view you guys have on almost every topic is actually childish and not mature like you have convinced yourself to believe.

You know a debate is over when people resort to personal attacks
In all honesty you are doing a bad job of defending marriage  all you've done until now is make blanket statements with out any real concrete abstract concepts
person 1:states :marriage is due to social pressure
person 2 responds::how do you introduce your significant other to your peers?

 

[rko2004]

Originally Posted by an dee 51o

Originally Posted by RKO2004

I hope you don't plan to have kids my man, since you get bored like that.

And people wonder why America is jacked up. Families falling apart. Middle class falling apart. More children now with no direction or guidance. Look at this thread.

Not planning on having kids either.

@ "More children now with no direction or guidance." Were you alive during the 90's?

Half of all marriages end in divorce. I think we both know that. People getting married, having kids and getting divorced is much more of a problem than people who have no intention of getting married in the first place.

That's due to the foundation of marriage being taken out over time and people flat out giving up.

I remember the 90s and its worst now. Everything is worst now and not really getting better.

 

[rko2004]

Originally Posted by an dee 51o

Originally Posted by RKO2004

I hope you don't plan to have kids my man, since you get bored like that.

And people wonder why America is jacked up. Families falling apart. Middle class falling apart. More children now with no direction or guidance. Look at this thread.

Not planning on having kids either.

@ "More children now with no direction or guidance." Were you alive during the 90's?

Half of all marriages end in divorce. I think we both know that. People getting married, having kids and getting divorced is much more of a problem than people who have no intention of getting married in the first place.

That's due to the foundation of marriage being taken out over time and people flat out giving up.

I remember the 90s and its worst now. Everything is worst now and not really getting better.

 

[martianrefugee]

Originally Posted by TruthGetsBusy

DC and LDJ.  I actually feel sorry for you guys.  Its sad to see people suck all the joy out of life and disguise it as "living for me".   It's sad to see grown men who find pleasure in finding ways to defend acting like children.  The close-minded and selfish point of view you guys have on almost every topic is actually childish and not mature like you have convinced yourself to believe.

You know a debate is over when people resort to personal attacks
In all honesty you are doing a bad job of defending marriage  all you've done until now is make blanket statements with out any real concrete abstract concepts
person 1:states :marriage is due to social pressure
person 2 responds::how do you introduce your significant other to your peers?

 

[pleasurephd]

Originally Posted by LDJ

Originally Posted by PleasurePhD

Originally Posted by LDJ

True but you did kinda imply it by saying having a family kids etc marriage and love is essentially the purpose of life. And since homosexuals/single ppl wont/cant have that then that kinda leads one to believe that what you were stating. It was an open-ended statement. But I get what you are saying in a sense. And age really isnt a factor, its the time/life experiences that happened within that time that makes the difference. If you are sheltered 50 yrs old wouldnt make you more prepared for family/marriage vs someone 23 who has a plethora of life experiences. Just growing old doesnt make person a more maturated then person b. i as well as you probably know ppl who are younger and are more mature/ can deal with life better then someone 30 something 40 am I not right.

I say this because I read ppl twits sp.. facebooks and I see ppl who are less mature etc and they are like late 30's 40's and I see ppl who are young 20's who have there !+! together more then they do.

And what about the old tradition of marriage when men had many wives? Are you saying they werent real men, had a true bon with there wives? So I guess before life in america, marriage wasnt real and the bond unification was false. But that kinda contridicts itself seeing as the family structure has worsen as time has progress.

I mean with marriage its such a touchy thing, cause some ppl do it for love, which is kinda funny seeing as a ceremony/paper isnt a determining factor on your feelings or bond between two ppl. Then you have ppl who marry for the materialistic/status aspect of it. Then you have ppl who marry for the whole validation reasons.

I guess why the past 15 yrs I never married my old lady is because Im not materialistic or care about my status in society, i dont seek validity from anyone esp considering ( wont get into that, whole entirely different subject) And I realize I love her and she loves me and we love our kids, and I dont see how a tuxedo, a dress, a piece of paper etc... ceremony will change this.

Again I dont knock ppl who do it but i just dont see how ok one day i sorta loved maybe cared about this person, then all of a sudden i put on this ring, sign this paper and like magic love became strong, our family is good, we are bonded for life. I just fail to see how wordly things can change the factors of something emotionally.

Whether you admit it or realize it or not you got married for one of the reasons I mentioned. I cant see how ok you felt a certain way about your sig. other, then all of this changed enhanced from the time you went from the end of the eisle to the front of the eisle. Or how sliding a ring on a finger transformed the feelings/bond you two had right before you placed the rings on.

I understand. You still could adopt as a single or homosexual.

Anywho, you are very correct. about the life experiences thing and not the age. I 100% agree. LOL at the twit thing. I can't believe how some supposed grown folks act still 40 acting like they 15.

I guess you're right I can't really comment on the multiple wives thing back in the day, but again why are we comparing? We don't live in that kinda society anymore. So why bring it up? If I had to answer if a dude had multiple wives in today's USA then yes I would consider him not a real man since he is most likely being manipulative and/or taking advantage. I personally don't agree with the family structure being worse. Although we as a society seem to have a lot of problems and are much more selfish I am very close to my immediate family and I will raise my children to be the same way.

I get what your saying about marriage and I am not marrying for any of those reasons. Yes, they all mean something to me, but the main reason is for me and for my wife. It's personal. I have 100 respect for you man I understand. Marriage won't change anything if you are already that tight. Which is why I said people like you are still respectable that bond is still there, the most important thing. You don't need the marriage. Just personally, I do.

One day it didn't change. The reason why you marry someone is because you felt that unconditional love before. Just for me personally, the title matters and so even though it's just a title it means so much to me that title manifests true emotion in me, understand?

As for your last statement again, the marriage didn't strengthen, and isn't the thing I'm talking about. It's the bond which I had before the marriage (or I wouldn't have gotten married). Again, I married my wife for us not for anything else you mentioned.

 

[pleasurephd]

Originally Posted by LDJ

Originally Posted by PleasurePhD

Originally Posted by LDJ

True but you did kinda imply it by saying having a family kids etc marriage and love is essentially the purpose of life. And since homosexuals/single ppl wont/cant have that then that kinda leads one to believe that what you were stating. It was an open-ended statement. But I get what you are saying in a sense. And age really isnt a factor, its the time/life experiences that happened within that time that makes the difference. If you are sheltered 50 yrs old wouldnt make you more prepared for family/marriage vs someone 23 who has a plethora of life experiences. Just growing old doesnt make person a more maturated then person b. i as well as you probably know ppl who are younger and are more mature/ can deal with life better then someone 30 something 40 am I not right.

I say this because I read ppl twits sp.. facebooks and I see ppl who are less mature etc and they are like late 30's 40's and I see ppl who are young 20's who have there !+! together more then they do.

And what about the old tradition of marriage when men had many wives? Are you saying they werent real men, had a true bon with there wives? So I guess before life in america, marriage wasnt real and the bond unification was false. But that kinda contridicts itself seeing as the family structure has worsen as time has progress.

I mean with marriage its such a touchy thing, cause some ppl do it for love, which is kinda funny seeing as a ceremony/paper isnt a determining factor on your feelings or bond between two ppl. Then you have ppl who marry for the materialistic/status aspect of it. Then you have ppl who marry for the whole validation reasons.

I guess why the past 15 yrs I never married my old lady is because Im not materialistic or care about my status in society, i dont seek validity from anyone esp considering ( wont get into that, whole entirely different subject) And I realize I love her and she loves me and we love our kids, and I dont see how a tuxedo, a dress, a piece of paper etc... ceremony will change this.

Again I dont knock ppl who do it but i just dont see how ok one day i sorta loved maybe cared about this person, then all of a sudden i put on this ring, sign this paper and like magic love became strong, our family is good, we are bonded for life. I just fail to see how wordly things can change the factors of something emotionally.

Whether you admit it or realize it or not you got married for one of the reasons I mentioned. I cant see how ok you felt a certain way about your sig. other, then all of this changed enhanced from the time you went from the end of the eisle to the front of the eisle. Or how sliding a ring on a finger transformed the feelings/bond you two had right before you placed the rings on.

I understand. You still could adopt as a single or homosexual.

Anywho, you are very correct. about the life experiences thing and not the age. I 100% agree. LOL at the twit thing. I can't believe how some supposed grown folks act still 40 acting like they 15.

I guess you're right I can't really comment on the multiple wives thing back in the day, but again why are we comparing? We don't live in that kinda society anymore. So why bring it up? If I had to answer if a dude had multiple wives in today's USA then yes I would consider him not a real man since he is most likely being manipulative and/or taking advantage. I personally don't agree with the family structure being worse. Although we as a society seem to have a lot of problems and are much more selfish I am very close to my immediate family and I will raise my children to be the same way.

I get what your saying about marriage and I am not marrying for any of those reasons. Yes, they all mean something to me, but the main reason is for me and for my wife. It's personal. I have 100 respect for you man I understand. Marriage won't change anything if you are already that tight. Which is why I said people like you are still respectable that bond is still there, the most important thing. You don't need the marriage. Just personally, I do.

One day it didn't change. The reason why you marry someone is because you felt that unconditional love before. Just for me personally, the title matters and so even though it's just a title it means so much to me that title manifests true emotion in me, understand?

As for your last statement again, the marriage didn't strengthen, and isn't the thing I'm talking about. It's the bond which I had before the marriage (or I wouldn't have gotten married). Again, I married my wife for us not for anything else you mentioned.

 

[still1rise]

Originally Posted by Nikekidwonder

Originally Posted by Still1Rise


My intentions for this thread are not to bash people already married, but yet inform others to think for themselves and decide what lifestyle will Truly be enjoyable.

What I see in many marriages... Most women would never settle down if they didnt lose there looks or have a biological time clock. But they cash in because they know after a while there value will go down and then nobody will want them.  Men do not have this problem, but can get caught up in the whole family life before reaching their true potential. The not so attactive ones have to believe in "love" because what else do they have to believe in? They end up settling for Mr. good enough, not someone they truly love. A marriage imo is just a partnership. What makes for a good marriage does not make for a good romantic relationship. I think many women would actually like to be married and feel alone then really be alone.

Marriage for men = human wallet, sperm donor, babysitter.

Overall its interesting to hear different views. Even tho we will never really see eye to eye I appreciate everyones opinion. To each is his own tho.

I think the biggest component your forgetting it love 
Some people truly fall for each other and get married for that simply reason 

Not every female has a hidden agenda 

What is your definition of love or being in love?
  
True not every female has a hidden agenda but alot do. Finding a legit woman is rare.

 

[still1rise]

Originally Posted by Nikekidwonder

Originally Posted by Still1Rise


My intentions for this thread are not to bash people already married, but yet inform others to think for themselves and decide what lifestyle will Truly be enjoyable.

What I see in many marriages... Most women would never settle down if they didnt lose there looks or have a biological time clock. But they cash in because they know after a while there value will go down and then nobody will want them.  Men do not have this problem, but can get caught up in the whole family life before reaching their true potential. The not so attactive ones have to believe in "love" because what else do they have to believe in? They end up settling for Mr. good enough, not someone they truly love. A marriage imo is just a partnership. What makes for a good marriage does not make for a good romantic relationship. I think many women would actually like to be married and feel alone then really be alone.

Marriage for men = human wallet, sperm donor, babysitter.

Overall its interesting to hear different views. Even tho we will never really see eye to eye I appreciate everyones opinion. To each is his own tho.

I think the biggest component your forgetting it love 
Some people truly fall for each other and get married for that simply reason 

Not every female has a hidden agenda 

What is your definition of love or being in love?
  
True not every female has a hidden agenda but alot do. Finding a legit woman is rare.

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by PleasurePhD

I have 100 respect for you man I understand. Marriage won't change anything if you are already that tight. Which is why I said people like you are still respectable that bond is still there, the most important thing. You don't need the marriage. Just personally, I do.

Why? Please explain why you need it please.

Without it you would have _______?

And honest question, be real. Do you think what you and your wife have is stronger than what LDJ and his life long friend have because you went through that ceremony? Be honest here. If so/not, why?

 

[DCAllAfrican]

Originally Posted by PleasurePhD

I have 100 respect for you man I understand. Marriage won't change anything if you are already that tight. Which is why I said people like you are still respectable that bond is still there, the most important thing. You don't need the marriage. Just personally, I do.

Why? Please explain why you need it please.

Without it you would have _______?

And honest question, be real. Do you think what you and your wife have is stronger than what LDJ and his life long friend have because you went through that ceremony? Be honest here. If so/not, why?

 

[an dee 51o]

Originally Posted by RKO2004

That's due to the foundation of marriage being taken out over time and people flat out giving up.

I remember the 90s and its worst now. Everything is worst now and not really getting better.

The foundation of marriage? Explain what that means. Pleasantville? Man comes home from work at 6pm to a hot meal from his stay at home wife?

 

[an dee 51o]

Originally Posted by RKO2004

That's due to the foundation of marriage being taken out over time and people flat out giving up.

I remember the 90s and its worst now. Everything is worst now and not really getting better.

The foundation of marriage? Explain what that means. Pleasantville? Man comes home from work at 6pm to a hot meal from his stay at home wife?