Update p. 14 Does this guy have a right to complain? Vol. Help a sista out.

[raptors29]

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by Dathbgboy

U gave off the vibe that u wasn't feelin him but u coulda at least said hi. I'm startin to wonder about u and what goes on in ur head miss

Do you not understand him dissing me first by not calling? I've only given my number out to 3 guys in my life: my ex, a gay boy I hoped wouldn't call, and now this guy. It was a big deal to me, and I waited for him to call. What am I supposed to be thinking?

If I was that dude I wouldn't know what to think. I think you were playing games.

 

[23mcpizzle23]

whip it out???

 

[kicktionair]

"Maybe"

?

C'mon daughter

If I was dude I would have just kept it moving after that reply, to men that scream out "NO". Why you might ask? Well men face rejection way morethan women so by you acting like your all that then sometimes dudes will think

-This chick thinks shes the hot stuff (lolz in side head)
- I guess that means no (Oh well at least I tried)

 

[rsdplaya]

Are you sure that he was serious in getting mad? Maybe he was being sarcastic about it...

But if indeed he was angry, I can understand where he was coming from.

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by swishasweets

As you can see from all this help.... Women play too much games cause everybody got something different to say

Speaking of everybody got a different thing to say, in the first thread I posted about this guy doing the Ric Flair thing to me, the general consensus was that"he wants to smash." Now, I post that I didn't say "hi" first, and people are saying he's genuinely interested.

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by rsdplaya

Are you sure that he was serious in getting mad? Maybe he was being sarcastic about it...

But if indeed he was angry, I can understand where he was coming from.

I'm pretty sure he was serious, but the thing is it's not like my telling him the price of his meal was a bad thing or like it was goingto be the only thing I'd say to him the whole day. It was just the first thing that came to mind. He was waiting to pay, right?

 

[cwrite78]

Originally Posted by West2East

You know what your problem is? You think you're being cute by not being more straight forward or maybe more lady like by letting him make moves based on what little positive signals you've given him, but clearly it isn't enough given that you're not getting the reaction you want. How about you stop pretending he's a mind reader who knows what all your actions mean and actually try flirting.

No you going to his restaurant a million times isn't enough if after not seeing him for a month you don't even greet him with a hi. You have to realize all the positive vibes can be negated by the negative/unsure vibe you give off. Next time you see him you need to seem excited to see him and let him know that hey you actually did miss him otherwise why would he even want to call you?

in other words, man up and stop acting like you're in middle school.

 

[solecontrol]

LOL @ this thread.

Cats came in here guns blazing.

 

[mcflyyy]

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by swishasweets

As you can see from all this help.... Women play too much games cause everybody got something different to say

Speaking of everybody got a different thing to say, in the first thread I posted about this guy doing the Ric Flair thing to me, the general consensus was that "he wants to smash." Now, I post that I didn't say "hi" first, and people are saying he's genuinely interested.

what do either of these events have to do with each other? the problem isn't that you didn't say "hi" first.. the problem isthat you're playing childish games by throwing all these mixed signals and not being honest with him about how you actually feel. grow up.

 

[selrahc123]

I just read your first post. I didn't read any other post or page in this thread but I have come to my conclusion.... You like girls but you just don'tknow it yet

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by Chao

SShanique wrote:

---

Speaking of "mixed signals," after he invited me to his birthday party that I did not go to (I didn't really know him back then), I went to his restaurant with my sister. He came to our table about 5 times talking. He was there more than our server. After that, he came to my job and asked what I would be doing later that night. I had to read. I have been back to his restaurant several times. It doesn't take a brain scientist to figure out that I like something about him. I don't like Italian food that much, and there's an Olive Garden near my house. I don't have to drive all the way out of town just to pick up something from his restaurant. I do, because I like him. If I'm constantly at your restaurant, that probably means I like you. I don't see any mixed signals in that. Heck, I just go over there, because sometimes I want to see him.

I think its quite fair for him to believe that youre brushing him off. You saying you had to \\\"read\\\" for school sounds like a really bad excuse (even though it isnt) and may have made him hesitant to keep trying with you. Then you say you gave him the impression you didn\\\'t like him? Dudes will pick up on this and leave you alone. He isn\\\'t going to try and chase you if he thinks youre only trying to politely tell him to go away. Try this...next time you go and hes there, mention that there is an olive garden right next to your house but \\\"Something about this place makes me keep coming back\\\" when you\\\'re talking to him. Unless he is dense he will get it. I think at this point some positive signal would help a lot.
That's actually a good idea. I never would have thought of that.

 

[blackmagnus514]

this is why he's tapping anther female who's being straight forward.

pardon the bluntness...but i had a few drinks.

 

[dathbgboy]

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by Chao

SShanique wrote:

---

Speaking of "mixed signals," after he invited me to his birthday party that I did not go to (I didn't really know him back then), I went to his restaurant with my sister. He came to our table about 5 times talking. He was there more than our server. After that, he came to my job and asked what I would be doing later that night. I had to read. I have been back to his restaurant several times. It doesn't take a brain scientist to figure out that I like something about him. I don't like Italian food that much, and there's an Olive Garden near my house. I don't have to drive all the way out of town just to pick up something from his restaurant. I do, because I like him. If I'm constantly at your restaurant, that probably means I like you. I don't see any mixed signals in that. Heck, I just go over there, because sometimes I want to see him.

I think its quite fair for him to believe that youre brushing him off. You saying you had to \\\"read\\\" for school sounds like a really bad excuse (even though it isnt) and may have made him hesitant to keep trying with you. Then you say you gave him the impression you didn\\\'t like him? Dudes will pick up on this and leave you alone. He isn\\\'t going to try and chase you if he thinks youre only trying to politely tell him to go away. Try this...next time you go and hes there, mention that there is an olive garden right next to your house but \\\"Something about this place makes me keep coming back\\\" when you\\\'re talking to him. Unless he is dense he will get it. I think at this point some positive signal would help a lot.

That's actually a good idea. I never would have thought of that.


That's what we been sayin the whole time, give a positive signal that u are in fact interested

 

[marlsj]

Originally Posted by 23MCpizzle23

whip it out???

OP is a girl.

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

this is why he's tapping anther female who's being straight forward.

pardon the bluntness...but i had a few drinks.

That's another thing that I think about. I see him every few weeks, and I don't know him outside of the workplace. He could very well beinterested in another girl, so I wouldn't want to look dumb expressing my interest if he's into someone else. I must also add that we live inWhitesville, USA. There are enough white girls to go around, but he's interested in me, the black chick. Actually, the last time I saw him at hisrestaurant, he was surrounded by two white girls who were talking to him. Granted, they work for him, but I couldn't help but to be jealous. I startedthinking if he has a number of white girls available to him, then why would he choose me? That also factored into my thinking of why he didn't call me. I'm not totally sure what's going on. I know I think he's the bomb, so I don't see why no one would have snatched him up already. I'mapprehensive about the whole situation.

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

this is why he's tapping anther female who's being straight forward.

pardon the bluntness...but i had a few drinks.

That's another thing that I think about. I see him every few weeks, and I don't know him outside of the workplace. He could very well beinterested in another girl, so I wouldn't want to look dumb expressing my interest if he's into someone else. I must also add that we live inWhitesville, USA. There are enough white girls to go around, but he's interested in me, the black chick. Actually, the last time I saw him at hisrestaurant, he was surrounded by two white girls who were talking to him. Granted, they work for him, but I couldn't help but to be jealous. I didn'teven respond to his flirting, because I was uncomfortable in the situation. I started thinking if he has a number of white girls available to him, then whywould he choose me? That also factored into my thinking of why he didn't call me. I'm not totally sure what's going on. I know I think he's thebomb, so I don't see why no one would have snatched him up already. I'm apprehensive about the whole situation.

 

[chegtr]

zzz...
seriously, this woman is the only woman that needs to man up.

ask HIM questions.. like, hey so watsup with you? single, etc? Lets do this, lets do that, lets go here or there, together holding hands.
Its 2010, women can set plans too. for real. i swear.


YOU said u realized hes interested because he asked aobut you. when do you ask about him? why didnt u try talking to him before? Why is it when HE comes in youare available to talk all a sudden.


BUMP that! I woulda dropped long tiem ago. (=his thoughts)

 

[ramzs8906]

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

this is why he's tapping anther female who's being straight forward.

pardon the bluntness...but i had a few drinks.

That's another thing that I think about. I see him every few weeks, and I don't know him outside of the workplace. He could very well be interested in another girl, so I wouldn't want to look dumb expressing my interest if he's into someone else. I must also add that we live in Whitesville, USA. There are enough white girls to go around, but he's interested in me, the black chick. Actually, the last time I saw him at his restaurant, he was surrounded by two white girls who were talking to him. Granted, they work for him, but I couldn't help but to be jealous. I didn't even respond to his flirting, because I was uncomfortable in the situation. I started thinking if he has a number of white girls available to him, then why would he choose me? That also factored into my thinking of why he didn't call me. I'm not totally sure what's going on. I know I think he's the bomb, so I don't see why no one would have snatched him up already. I'm apprehensive about the whole situation.

This is the problem with too many females nowadays. Its 2010, bout time ya'll acted like it regarding EVERYTHING. You want to be treated as equals, yetdon't want to approach a guy and be straight up with them from the beginning and play stupid hard to get games like you're still in middle school.Here's an idea OP. Instead of coming to a forum to ask the advice of a bunch of people who: 1. Don't know you or the guy personally 2. Most of thepeople aren't mature enough to comment on the subject, and 3. (at least on #NT) are more concerned with smashing than building an actual relationship howabout you TALK TO HIM. There is no handbook in learning how to get to know or deal with another person, don't go to a message board to try and decipherwhat's going on, go to the person and learn directly from the source. It's not that difficult.

 

[jthagreat]

OP, how old are you?

I have girls at my work 11-16 who are more "grown up" then you. i dont mean that harshly but you sound like a lil A!!! girl.

you see dude all the damn time, strike up a damn convo. talkin bout sayin there's an olive garden near you and hopin he gets the hint.

Tell dude straight up," i wanted to go out wit you before, but i had school work. Im free this Friday, we should do something."

you get your date, and you go from there.

SMH

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by CheGTR

zzz...
seriously, this woman is the only woman that needs to man up.

ask HIM questions.. like, hey so watsup with you? single, etc? Lets do this, lets do that, lets go here or there, together holding hands.
Its 2010, women can set plans too. for real. i swear.


YOU said u realized hes interested because he asked aobut you. when do you ask about him? why didnt u try talking to him before? Why is it when HE comes in you are available to talk all a sudden.


BUMP that! I woulda dropped long tiem ago. (=his thoughts)

Truth be told, I was interested in him first. I had this new serving job for the summer (but stayed into the school year). Anyway, my boss talksall the time, and he would talk about this restaurant across the street that he sometimes picked up pizza at. One morning he told me he took fresh basil tothe restaurant owner across the street. Well, later that afternoon, this young guy drove up in a Mercedes. He came in and asked for my boss. I told him hewasn't there, so he said that my boss had brought him some fresh basil. Okay, my bosses are in their 50s, so I was expecting the owner of the restaurantacross the street to be old. He asked for a menu to order something to go. Then he started calling someone. He told me that he was eating in. I liked whatI saw, so I started asking him questions about himself. I learned that he was a 25-year-old Italian. Some people came to join him, a woman and a little boy. I thought it was his girlfriend and son, and then he said, "This is my sister." He was not interested in me at all then. I didn't see him forlike 3 months, and then the first time we saw each other after that, he was different. He seemed to have missed seeing me, and he was asking all kinds ofpersonal questions. It was then that he learned I was in law school, that I was older than he thought (although I told him how old I was the first day I methim. He didn't care back then, though), and he told me I could come to the birthday party he was having in 2 days.

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

this is why he's tapping anther female who's being straight forward.

pardon the bluntness...but i had a few drinks.

That's another thing that I think about. I see him every few weeks, and I don't know him outside of the workplace. He could very well be interested in another girl, so I wouldn't want to look dumb expressing my interest if he's into someone else. I must also add that we live in Whitesville, USA. There are enough white girls to go around, but he's interested in me, the black chick. Actually, the last time I saw him at his restaurant, he was surrounded by two white girls who were talking to him. Granted, they work for him, but I couldn't help but to be jealous. I didn't even respond to his flirting, because I was uncomfortable in the situation. I started thinking if he has a number of white girls available to him, then why would he choose me? That also factored into my thinking of why he didn't call me. I'm not totally sure what's going on. I know I think he's the bomb, so I don't see why no one would have snatched him up already. I'm apprehensive about the whole situation.

This is the problem with too many females nowadays. Its 2010, bout time ya'll acted like it regarding EVERYTHING. You want to be treated as equals, yet don't want to approach a guy and be straight up with them from the beginning and play stupid hard to get games like you're still in middle school. Here's an idea OP. Instead of coming to a forum to ask the advice of a bunch of people who: 1. Don't know you or the guy personally 2. Most of the people aren't mature enough to comment on the subject, and 3. (at least on #NT) are more concerned with smashing than building an actual relationship how about you TALK TO HIM. There is no handbook in learning how to get to know or deal with another person, don't go to a message board to try and decipher what's going on, go to the person and learn directly from the source. It's not that difficult.

 

[dathbgboy]

OP OP OP

, just ask the dude out for pete's sake. U know where he work, go holla at the kid and quit w/ the shenanigans.


/thread

And this a real life grown folks "A Bronx Tale"

 

[championedition]

Originally Posted by marlsj

Originally Posted by 23MCpizzle23

whip it out???

OP is a girl.

whip THEM out.

no mixed signals there

 

[sshanique]

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

this is why he's tapping anther female who's being straight forward.

pardon the bluntness...but i had a few drinks.

That's another thing that I think about. I see him every few weeks, and I don't know him outside of the workplace. He could very well be interested in another girl, so I wouldn't want to look dumb expressing my interest if he's into someone else. I must also add that we live in Whitesville, USA. There are enough white girls to go around, but he's interested in me, the black chick. Actually, the last time I saw him at his restaurant, he was surrounded by two white girls who were talking to him. Granted, they work for him, but I couldn't help but to be jealous. I didn't even respond to his flirting, because I was uncomfortable in the situation. I started thinking if he has a number of white girls available to him, then why would he choose me? That also factored into my thinking of why he didn't call me. I'm not totally sure what's going on. I know I think he's the bomb, so I don't see why no one would have snatched him up already. I'm apprehensive about the whole situation.

This is the problem with too many females nowadays. Its 2010, bout time ya'll acted like it regarding EVERYTHING. You want to be treated as equals, yet don't want to approach a guy and be straight up with them from the beginning and play stupid hard to get games like you're still in middle school. Here's an idea OP. Instead of coming to a forum to ask the advice of a bunch of people who: 1. Don't know you or the guy personally 2. Most of the people aren't mature enough to comment on the subject, and 3. (at least on #NT) are more concerned with smashing than building an actual relationship how about you TALK TO HIM. There is no handbook in learning how to get to know or deal with another person, don't go to a message board to try and decipher what's going on, go to the person and learn directly from the source. It's not that difficult.

Good approach, but I talked to the last guy I was kind of interested in. He was lying his butt off, and it turns out that he was just trying to get me tosleep with him. I asked a question about him on a message board, and the guys told me that he wanted to sleep with me. But I was like nooooooo, this guy hasliked me for so long, like he said. He put my picture as the screensaver on his computer. He put me on his Top Friends list on myspace. He wrote a rap songabout me. Yada, yada, yada. Turns out, he just wanted to sleep with me, and as soon as I wouldn't he did a 180 and "wifed" a fat Latin chickwith 3 kids.

She went from nowhere on his top friends list to #3,way above me. It wasn't because I wouldn't sleep with him, because even if I had he would have been with me one night and then asked that girl to behis girlfriend the next. I know not everybody's like that, but I try to be cautious because I don't ever want to be in a situation like that again.

 

[ramzs8906]

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by RamZs8906

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by SShanique

Originally Posted by blackmagnus514

this is why he's tapping anther female who's being straight forward.

pardon the bluntness...but i had a few drinks.

That's another thing that I think about. I see him every few weeks, and I don't know him outside of the workplace. He could very well be interested in another girl, so I wouldn't want to look dumb expressing my interest if he's into someone else. I must also add that we live in Whitesville, USA. There are enough white girls to go around, but he's interested in me, the black chick. Actually, the last time I saw him at his restaurant, he was surrounded by two white girls who were talking to him. Granted, they work for him, but I couldn't help but to be jealous. I didn't even respond to his flirting, because I was uncomfortable in the situation. I started thinking if he has a number of white girls available to him, then why would he choose me? That also factored into my thinking of why he didn't call me. I'm not totally sure what's going on. I know I think he's the bomb, so I don't see why no one would have snatched him up already. I'm apprehensive about the whole situation.

This is the problem with too many females nowadays. Its 2010, bout time ya'll acted like it regarding EVERYTHING. You want to be treated as equals, yet don't want to approach a guy and be straight up with them from the beginning and play stupid hard to get games like you're still in middle school. Here's an idea OP. Instead of coming to a forum to ask the advice of a bunch of people who: 1. Don't know you or the guy personally 2. Most of the people aren't mature enough to comment on the subject, and 3. (at least on #NT) are more concerned with smashing than building an actual relationship how about you TALK TO HIM. There is no handbook in learning how to get to know or deal with another person, don't go to a message board to try and decipher what's going on, go to the person and learn directly from the source. It's not that difficult.

Good approach, but I talked to the last guy I was kind of interested in. He was lying his butt off, and it turns out that he was just trying to get me to sleep with him. I asked a question about him on a message board, and the guys told me that he wanted to sleep with me. But I was like nooooooo, this guy has liked me for so long, like he said. He put my picture as the screensaver on his computer. He put me on his Top Friends list on myspace. He wrote a rap song about me. Yada, yada, yada. Turns out, he just wanted to sleep with me, and as soon as I wouldn't he did a 180 and "wifed" a fat Latin chick with 3 kids.

She went from nowhere on his top friends list to #3, way above me. It wasn't because I wouldn't sleep with him, because even if I had he would have been with me one night and then asked that girl to be his girlfriend the next. I know not everybody's like that, but I try to be cautious because I don't ever want to be in a situation like that again.

"When you start to equate and base your opinion on an entire group of people based on a single experience, you are deciding to become ignorantto the fact that no two people are exactly alike." ~ The U.R.G.